Marines

My husband is in the Army and he currently runs a recruiting station in Iowa. When you join the military you know that it is very likely that you will be deployed with the situation right now. Is he considering the ROTC program? (going to college) There are many many options and you both will need to go in to speak to a Recruiter to decide what would work best for your family. My husband has been in the Army since he was 18. He has been to Bosnia & Kuwait, but converted to Recruiting when we decided to get married. He will retire at age 38. I honestly have no complaints, but I have not had to go through a deployment with my husband since he is in Recruiter. He does work very long hard hours though.

Good luck. I'm sure you both will make the right decision for your family. Trust in the Lord.

2 moms found this helpful

Why does he want to join the Marines? He has a wife and a baby girl--why now?

While I appreciate all that the military does, and the sacrifices our troops make, is this really a good time for your husband to make this decision?

He doesn't need to be a hero--he just needs to be a daddy and husband--that's "hero" enough!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A.,
I just think you should get all the information you can on all the branches of the military! Write down questions you have, do research on the internet, call the recruiter, talk to the station commander. Do all you can to get as much information you can! I am a wife of a staion commander of an Army recruiting station! You can message me and ask any questions you may have! If I don't know the answer I will find out for you! My personal opinion is that I love military life. I am proud of my husband everyday! Yes there are sacrifices but there are also benefits and rewards! Good luck and Thank you to you and your husband for even considering joining the military!

1 mom found this helpful

My son-in-law is currently in the Army. Charity--he must have talked to the recruiter at the end of the month! He was told he would get a huge sign-on bonus--he's still waiting for that. He was told that both he and his wife could go to college online while he was serving--that never materialized. He did get to choose his "job" from several, after taking a test (Which they told him he scored very high on)--I don't know how knowing how to repair tanks and armoured vehicles will transfer into a civilian job when he gets out.
Yes, the medical coverage is good--but he has had to wait very long times for Dr. appointments. He was in Iraq for one year, and is now stationed in Texas. He has sleep apnea and bad asthma that started when he got back (or maybe while he was over there). His unit was redeployed in May to Iraq. His doctor told him he couldn't go over because if he spent more that 48 hours without his sleep apnea machine he could not drive a vehicle or hold a firearm--that would be handy in a combat zone, wouldn't it? His officer kept telling my sil that he was going to Iraq, right up until the day before they were going to leave (I think he even had some of his gear shipped over)--until the doctor finally prevailed.
He is also dealing with depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -- and I think my daughter has ulcers trying to deal with all the medical stuff, the Army, a depressed husband, and a one-year old. She says they are trying to get him "Med Boarded" out of the Army--but again, the Army can't get any two people to agree on what to do with him.
He joined the Army because he could not find a job, and, I think because his brother was in. He is just marking time now until his enlistment is up in March--and wondering what else the Army will try to do to him.
In short, I do not trust the Army at all. Most of it has been a negative effect in my opinion. Yes, he will get some money for college when he gets out--but I question whether it will be as much as he was told, and even if they can controll the depression and PTSD enough so he can even attend.
I'm sorry I have gone on so long, but I really wanted to share his experience. I'm hoping the the Marines and the Air Force are better.
Mama P

1 mom found this helpful

I don't have any experience with a husband in the Marines but I just wanted to express how wonderful it is to have a husband who comes home every day after he is done with his work, and loves to spend time with his kids while I get supper ready. I do not think I'd experience nearly as much joy as a mother if my children's father were gone for long lengths of time and I do think it would be natural to start resenting my husband for his absence. Also of course there is the unthinkable yet all too realistic possibility he would be sent to one of the ongoing wars and not ever return. Surely things could go from glamorous to tragic in any moment and even though that is just like life any day, any where, being a soldier this is the place that reality is most likely to occur.

My husband was in the Air Force when we got married and highly recommends it over the other branches. They have nicer housing, better bases, better jobs, and treat their members better than the other branches. I totally agree with the praise of the medical benefits and housing. We lived in military housing off base and paid NOTHING- no rent, no utilities, NOTHING. You get to do your grocery shopping at the commissary (way cheaper than other grocery stores) and the bases usually have plenty of things to do (movies theater, bowling, gold course, etc.)
If your husband has a college degree, make sure he talks to an officer recruiter (NOT enlisted) and do not believe everything any recruiter tells you unless it is in writing on an official document. Don't talk to them at the end of the month when they are trying to finish filling their quotas. Know that you do NOT get to choose your job or where you go. The military takes care of you, but once you join you are their property and they will do with you what they please. Period.
It can be a fantastic experience but, like the previous poster said, there are sacrifices. Especially with Marines, who are frequently the first ones in and last ones out.

Hi A.:
Check to see if there is a group of Marine wives you can talk to. Maybe if you call the VFW or American Leagion or a Marine unit in your area you may be able to talk to a group of wives. I would also check online to see if maybe there is an online group to talk to. I am sure you will hear good and bad opinions about being a Marine family. You be able to get stories about the camps and what to expect when living on base. How to cope when he is deployed and what is expected of you while he is a Marine.
This is a difficult decision for him as well as for you. Can you deal with being a single parent while he is gone? Can you deal with the possibility of losing him? This is something you both need to consider before he signs up.
If you look into the pay and the educational benefits of going into the Military they are great but can you deal with the very real possibility of losing him or having him return to you a very changed man after deployment?

Wow, lots of great responses! Here's mine =D :

My husband was in the Army on active duty for 5 years, as an MP (Military Police). He was asked to request 3 bases he would like to be stationed at either while he was in basic or in AIT (can't remember which) and he didn't get any of his requests, in fact he spent his first year of active duty overseas stationed in South Korea. I got the impression at the time that this was basically the norm (and yes, this was pre-9/11); they ask you for your preferences and then basically ignore it and put you where they need you. He did have a good time over there, though, experiencing a new culture and meeting new people and still talks about fond memories he has from Korea, so overall it wasn't that bad for him. We were then sent to Ft. Polk, Louisiana, which if anyone has been there they'll tell you how crappy of a base that is (small & isolated, 1-2 hours away from any cities with good amenities; we pretty much drove out of town every weekend because of that-- VERY poor economy in the area, etc)! lol Because of where we were stationed, we experienced an entirely different sort of Army, and we both really did not like it there. Had he been stationed at a larger/busier base like Ft. Collins, Colo. or Ft. Bragg, NC we probably would have been a lot happier (much better/bigger/more commissaries/post exchanges/other amenities, etc; near a prosperous town or city), but... this is where the sacrifice a previous poster was talking about comes in; not to mention when 9/11 occurred everything changed and he was deployed twice while on active duty and recalled from IRR status just under 2 years from when he had gotten "out" (make sure you ask a recruiter about this; in our experience, my husband's contract was for 5 years active duty and 3 years on Individual Ready Reserve; which basically means they still could call him up after getting "out" if they "needed" him; and they did!) He was deployed to Iraq for a year, with 6 mos extra training at Ft. Bragg; after he'd already gotten out and started his civilian life; we'd even bought a house. It was the worst 18 mos of my life, I will not lie. Thank God for my family otherwise I would have gone insane!

Overall, looking back, I think his active duty deployments for him made the experience worth it-- he was stationed in DC for 6 mos post-9/11 and then to Guantanamo Bay (he hated the job but loved the ocean; while he was there he got his SCUBA certification and went fishing a lot on his downtime-- he even caught a baby shark once! lol). Also, the training he received really did help him "grow up" (he was 19 when he enlisted) and become the man he is now (as cheesy as that sounds!).

My point for telling you all this is that being a military wife/family does have its good points and its bad points; these days especially the threat of deployment is a hard one to deal with. My husband always always has said that he wishes he'd gone Air Force only because they treat their people better and their deployments are shorter. (he was gone 6 mos, then 1 year, then 18 mos, respectively, over his 3 deployments). I believe the Air Force has as part of their "rules" if you will that no soldier is deployed longer than 6 mos (I think that's the number I heard). In the Army (especially my husband's unit) it sometimes felt like him and the rest of his unit were just bodies if you will; like the playing pieces on the RISK game board! Politics was also rampant in his unit so he had to deal with that; but, again, this changes depending on the people in your unit, just like any job.

The job security & income is something I really do miss! As well as the health care. We would have had to pay for vision and dental for me and chose not to (we should have tho!). Looking back, that *almost* made the whole experience worth it. I also LOVED living in Louisiana; not the area we were in, but the towns nearby (w/in an hour or two; and then of course New Orleans!), the weather, and it is truly a beautiful state; Cajun food-- the REAL stuff! The flowers blooming every spring were gorgeous, and we were able to visit some amazing plantation homes as well as a weekend marriage retreat in New Orleans, where we got to enjoy the French Quarter! (pre-Katrina; yeah I'm totally dating myself here lol).

Also, I think the references to being able to choose your job or not choose it are both correct. For the Army, my husband took an aptitude test that placed him in a certain range of jobs he could do; MP being one of them (which was what he wanted to do luckily) but he would not have been able to be, say, an intelligence officer, because his score wasn't high enough. So you DO get to choose your job, but only within their assessment of your skills (At least that's how it was when he was going through the process). Which makes sense to me because honestly, despite the fact that they need people, they need good people who are capable of doing the job.

Anyways, a lot of your questions will be answered by a recruiter when you go talk to them. Just do be aware that while they may not lie per se, it is in their best interest to do (or say!) what it takes to make your husband sign that dotted line. In our case, my husband's recruiter did actually lie to him (which in retrospect we really should have known better; it was a timing issue regarding his leave after basic/tech school) but I also have a good friend who was a recruiter for about 3 years and I am pretty sure he was always honest with his guys and he enjoyed recruiting for the most part.

I know this is long, and sorry! I have very strong feelings about the topic (I think a lot of current & former military wives do!). If you're a member of Facebook or MySpace you can probably find a group of military wives on there, or if you're a member of any parenting/family websites that have discussion boards, you can probably find groups on there (if you haven't already). That is always a good resource as well. Everyone will have stories to tell and everyone will love to tell them to you; but everyone has a different experience, so in the end it's truly up to you & your husband as to whether the military is a good fit for your family. Talk to recruiters from each branch and try to get a full picture of what each branch can offer. The military can be a very beneficial experience for everyone and each branch has its strengths and weaknesses.

Good luck with this major decision, and if you choose to join (believe me, YOU are joining too, it's not just him!!), good luck with that as well! =)

my husband has been in for over 13yrs and my dad was army. My husband said the Air Force is the best way to go just because you don't deploy that long that the other services do. yes our health care is covered and we don't have to wait for dr appt. if they can't get us in on base then they send us downtown. Even when you have a medical emerengcy they are understand and get your guy home. It's not a bad way to go in this ecomony. Good luck with your decision. i know it's going to be hard.

My husband was in the Air Force for 4 years, and he loved it alot..I would say if you already have a child to go this route because they send them away for no more then 120 days. Everything about the Air force was great we loved every bit, the bases were great the housing was great they give you a great house that is basiclly free to you..And not to mention that you feel so safe living on base..And you might beable to take trips with him to different places..I hope this helps..

My husband is an ex-Marine and says he'd should have gone Air Force. That what he tells ANYONE to do if they want to join the military.

My bff's boyfriend JUST came ack from Iraq a few days ago. When he deploys he's never gone longer than 120 days. That might be something to think of.

I was a navy wife and had 2 children. The time apart is rough but it is so worth it. My husband is so proud of his time serving. I am very proud to say that I was a Navy with and so proud of him. My husband was on a submarine and gone 6 months at a time for deployments. The first 6 months we were married they were getting ready for a deployment and he was home only 5 weeks total. It was difficult but the boat had a group for the wives and girlfriends. They were a lot of support. My suggestion to you is to get in base housing meet lots of wives in his platoon so you have a support system. My oldest son is 19 and is leaving for Army boot camp in 3 weeks. I have to say as a navy wife and having friends in all the other branches of the service I would of wished he would of joined the Navy or Air Force. That is the protective mommy in me. He is goig to school to learn to disarm bombs wich makes this mom crazy and worry. He has alredy been told he will deploy to the Middle East and he tells me no his mommy cant go to Iraq with him. But the day he graduates from boot camp and bomb demo school I will be there loving him cheering him on and proud as I can be. My husband has talked about going back to the Navy at times. I have a 2 year old with him and if he decides to leave his job in a nuclear power plant I wil be there supporting him 100% Good luck and I hope you both make the right decision for your lives.

Hi there -

My husband was military prior to my meeting him (ex Navy Nuke) and his brother is 20 years retired AF (he's 44 now) so we're very pro military. Being that I wasn't with him when he was in the service I can't speak to that but I can discuss the fact that he is currently in sales and travels ALL the time and it is very difficult being a single mom - when you're not really single. Please know that I am NOT comparing the sacrifice/danger of Military life with being a traveling sales person!! My reason for the comparison is because you have established your family/routine w/him being an active member of your family and now that is going to change dramatically and you need to make sure that you are able and WILLING to be a single mom.... and that you won't start resenting this fact. Thinking you can do it and actually having to do it are two very different things. Good Luck and thank you and your husband for being willing to serve.