Manners at Restaurants

You are right. Children need to have basic manners at the table or the parents should take them out. I bring toys and sticker books as it can be dull to wait. The thing that I can't stand: when parents let their little ones stand on the booth behind you! Uggh. The other day a child dropped cookies all down the back of my dress. Cookies she spit out! So unacceptable.

No, you're not uptight.

I struggle with my kids in public, but I consider my choices to be "make them behave" or "don't go." "Let them run wild" is not the third option.

Well, it looks overwhelming that we agree, with one exception, that you are not uptight. Not only is poor behavior a potential safety issue for servers, it is annoying to the other patrons. And as one other poster put it, I am getting less and less filtered, but even have been known to comment to people at the time that I was paying good money (for a babysitter) NOT to have to listen to an out of control kid.

My kids are now 22 and 18. We aren't 'uptight' by any means, but my kids knew what behavior was acceptable in what environment. I could, and still can, put them in any social environment and not have to worry.

@Melanie, you are right, I am judgmental. I admit it and make no apologies! And yes, I did lose a friend many years ago because of it. I certainly am not saying I was right and she (or you) are wrong with how we each may parent. I chose to parent one way, consistently.

First, you are not being uptight, Tahoe. You are making a lot of servers happy by keeping your child seated.

We do exactly what you do. I have an activity bag I bring to restaurants with us, full of little activity books, crayons and pencils, a magnet set, small geo-forms or other small table-friendly toys. I believe that it's my job to ensure that my son can sit at the table, stay out of the way of servers and not be a bother to other patrons who are also trying to enjoy their meal. He's five and needs my help on this sometimes. Ignoring him is not the answer.

When he was little and cried, we'd go out and walk until he calmed down. When he was a busy toddler, we decided to get take-out until he was more content with being in his high chair.

I'm like you: I consider the restaurant to be someone's workplace *first*, and then a place to relax and enjoy a meal *second*. We actually do not usually go to places that have 'kid sections' for two reasons. First, I notice that the kids aren't usually being watched by parents and fights can ensue over the toys. Second, I believe my son is still young and is still learning that restaurants are places to be seated and not running around. I'm tough about this one; we've had a couple of 'so we need to go sit in the car for ten minutes' sorts of time outs and twice we've left when he was misbehaving. One warning and then left immediately.

If people want to go to a restaurant and not pay attention to their kids, they really should do the decent thing and hire a babysitter, leave the kids at home with someone who will tend to them. We've had too many dinners out ruined by self-absorbed parents who feel that the restaurant is a place to 'check out' of their parenting tasks. I really wish I could ask them for a refund for my dinner when their wild kids and neglect spoiled a nice time out.

I insisted on good manners. Don't stoop to the level of your friends. You did the right thing Mom.

I also used to be a server in a restaurant. It really would piss me off when I would see parents allowing their children to run around. Not because I don't love kids....I do...but it's so dangerous! Those big ol' serving trays are BIG and HEAVY. If someone's little rugrat is running underneath my feet I am going to go down, hard, and probably hurt myself, the kid, and anyone all of the food that I was carrying falls on.
I have ABSOLUTELY no issues with ever calling someone out. Be it friend or stranger. "Hey! Your kid is running all around and he is going to trip the server. He should be seated." So far, the strangers that I have said that too have given me a dirty look, but got their kids back under control. A dirty look has never hurt me.
My boys (6 and 9) have always behaved. Not that they didn't try to misbehave, cuz they did, but *I* am the mother and they WILL do what I say or they will not get to eat. They always chose to behave. My daughter (18 months) is a bit harder to take out right now, but that's just because if she is not eating she wants EVERYTHING on the table. So, we don't go out that much. When we do she behaves O.. But I would NEVER get her out of her seat and let her run around. That's just bad parenting.
L.

Never lower your standards as a parent.

Expect the best from your child, and model the behaviors you want from them and your children will follow your lead.

You know very well, that it is very dangerouss in a restaurant setting for a child to behave the way that other child was allowed to behave,

If he had fallen with that chair while standing. Knocked someone with a tray while running around. If he had decided to walk out of the building. No excuse for a parent to allow their child to run wild like that. He puts lots of other people in danger.

They must not care enough to help this child with proper behavior.theyare lazy parents. It is not fair to that child.i

I'm right there with you. Don't lower your standards!

You are not too uptight to insist that your children have good manners anywhere. You are right to be consistant with this. Their manners will serve them well in life, and help them feel secure during their childhood years. Not to mention, they will be welcome in any situation. I'm sure the other children you mentioned will not be.

No need to "dumb down" your standards because other kids can't achieve what yours can. You do need to be realistic. Maybe their kids don't go out as often? Who knows!

I remember the toddler days where it would be F-O-R-E-V-E-R til the meal came out and I would walk my son around for a change of scenery, etc. I was eternally grateful to the cued-in waitress that would bring an extra pile of napkins and a basket of crackers for my son to start with....

Jumping on the chairs? No. Grabbing the food from another person? Nope.

I guess you'll limit dinners with that family, right? LOL

I'm in your court. My daughter has been taught manners and is expected to have good manners when in public and at home.

I've never worked in a restaurant but I think it is so tacky for a family to come in, let the children run wild, make a horrendous mess and leave it for the server to clean up, probably with a less than stellar tip.

You are NOT too uptight!

I think you are doing the exact right thing in teaching them manners in restaurants!

Good for you Mom! Keep up the good work and do not ever let others get you to question your parenting skills! It is O. to do the right thing even when faced with parents who are a lot more relaxed than you! I know it is hard for the kids to see other kids 'having all the fun' but they will get over it!

~The one and only time I have ever stood up and disagreed (in a very nice way) with my in-laws had to do with restaurant behavior...my husband has 2 older boys and when they were little (5 & 3) and we would all go out to eat, husband and the in-laws would let the boys be crazy (loud, standing up on their chairs, playing under the tables, etc.) and even interrupt their own dinner time to take the boys out for a 'walkabout' whenever the boys asked Grandpa to do so or when they were being too rowdy, all the while never just correcting the boys' behavior.....well, when my kids came along and they got a little older Grandpa wanted to do the same thing with them and I had to step in and say no, the kids can sit still and ya know what? They did sit still! They are now 8, 6 & 4 and are very well behaved in restaurants (everywhere actually) and will never be anything but well behaved! *My 6 y/o does need to be reminded to use his 'inside voice' occasionally (I swear that boy has NO volume control, Ha!) and I do allow them to build towers with the creamer and jams they sometimes put on the tables...but beyond that we are good to go!

You are not uptight. Most people do not appreciate other peoples' children using bad manners at the table, and yes, I'm sure it's very distracting and annoying to the servers :(
Some parents are clueless, you'll find this out more and more as your kids get older!

Tahoe:

I don't think you are uptight at all!! YOU ROCK!!! You sound like me! When my boys were younger - 2 & 4 - taking them to restaurants was a treat - we went every Sunday after Church...however - they HAD TO BEHAVE - it was NOT a playground.

Like you - we have activities for the kids - even at 2 and 4 - my kids loved tic - tac - toe - even if they really didn't understand it - they were interacting with US and making x's and o's on a piece of paper.

When we have had a group of people with other kids and their child starts acting up? Sorry - I'm bold (surprised?) and state - just because so and so's mommy let's them do that - I will NOT allow you to do it.

Even now and 10 (as of next week) and 12 - they can get antsy at a restaurant. When we go to one of our favorites, they can't wait until afterwards where we let them race down the plaza. No, no one is there but they get to run to the farthest wall and we time them. Other parents have seen us doing it and asked if their kids could join - not a problem - follow the rules - if there are customers - the game stops, no pushing, no touching anyone - just the wall.

you keep going girl!! You keep up with the manners and showing your kids how to behave!! YOU ARE ROCKING IT GIRL!!!

My kids know and have from a super ealy age that when we sit down to eat-be it at home or a restraunt that we do not get up, no screaming, no whining etc. If they want to disobey we talk very quietly to them one time and then it is off to the restroom for another discussion. We haven't had to go farther than that. I also keep small toys and books to occupy them while waiting because it can be very hard for small children to wait. Another thing we do is try not to bring our children to a sit down place when they are pretty hungry-it's a disaster that way!

Its one of my biggest pet peeves. Ill behaved children in public. At restaurants, the grocery store/other stores, movie theaters, etc. So many people do allow their children to just do as they please and its terrible.

My own child was never allowed this behavior and I do see many who DO behave. I just want to go up to those parents and shake their hands or something. They truly seem to be the minority these days.

I work with very young kids, have for 25 years. I DO know what kids are capable of. Many parents are lazy, don't want to be the bad guy and let their children get away with this behavior. It makes being in public horrid for the rest of us.

My hubby and I are starting to lose our filters and say things when it comes to public situations with super ill behaved children. At movie theaters for sure. We saw "Brave". Yes, it is a kids movie. But why can 90% of the theaters children behave, but not those few others? Because their parents were just as bad! Phones out, talking loudly. See where some of them learn it from???

Good for you for sticking to your own beliefs and guns on this! Bravo!

You are not uptight at ALL!
I can't stand people who inflict their little darlings on the general public like it was some sort of huge favor.
We never took our son out till he was 4 yrs old (we did take out) and when we started going out with him it was fast food places that were for kids.
He didn't eat in a grown up sit down restaurant till he was 6 - and everyone complimented us on how well he sat at the table and minded his manners.
No standing on furniture - no throwing food or cutlery - no shouting/crying/whining - no running around like a wild animal - no crawling under our table (or anyone else s) and he could even say 'please' and 'thank you' when they needed to be said.
I've seen people walk in, sit down and let their kids wander like it was a day care area or Chuck E Cheese.
The worst case I ever witnessed was when a 2 yr old wandered right into the kitchen - full of knives, hot stoves, waiters/cooks rushing all over the place.
Sometimes management just needs to step up and ask parents with unruly children to leave - for the safety of the kids, the staff and other customers.
Parents need to control the kids if they insist on taking them out or they need to hire a sitter and step out without them for an adult meal.
And you most certainly do not have to do the teaching in the restaurant to practice - you do it at home.
It worked flawlessly for us.

You are not being uptight. While it's true that some kids are easier to train than others there's no excuse for allowing little ones to be running around a restaurant or standing on chairs. My kids were very diffrent from eachother. My daughter would sit and play with her small toys, books and coloring that's we'd bring to keep her amused. If engaged in conversation she could last through a t ypical restaurant dinner and then a little longer. My son was not as quiet. Even now at nearly 13 he deals with ADHD but of course, at this age has learned how to behave in a restaurant. But when he was 2 - 5 restauarants were tough to go to for us. When we had to go (for a family fathering like you're mentioning) we'd stock up a bag with all kinds of things to play with. My husband and I (and anyone else who'd volunteer) would take turns going for walks with my son to pass time at the restaurant. We avoided the situation as much as possible in fact my daughter who is the older sibling once asked when she was about 6 if we were ever going to go to a restaurant again. (smile) But we did everything in our power to avoid having our children disrupt other diners, or the wait staff (I too waited tables in my younger years.)

These other parents were being rude and inconsiderate of others. Hopefully you can avoid them in the future!

It is very inconsiderate of others paying for an evening out for parents to just let their kids run wild. We see this all the time and it makes us crazy!! Thanks for being a Mom that is trying to teach her children manners. We've taken our kids out to eat from the time they were infants so that we could teach them as they are growing how to behave in a resturant.

M

I feel the same way. My kids are 4 and 6 and it has just been in the last year or so that we have been able to go to a sit-down restaurant. There was a long time that it just wasn't reasonable for kids their ages to be able to sit entertained for an hour or more. We just got take out and brought it home. My children are absolutely required to stay in their seat for the entire meal...I am a former server myself and it was alway infuriating to try to carry HEAVY trays of hot food with kids running around unsupervised. Both the kids and the server can get hurt that way...

You are NOT uptight at all! What you are doing is teaching your children appropriate social behaviors. I wish MORE parents were like you in paying attention to this important parental duty.

Not only is it annoying and rude to other patrons, it is completely unsafe for kids to be running around, standing on chairs, etc. in a restaurant. At some point, we all have to learn how to control ourselves and show proper behavior in social situations. The earlier parents start, the easier it becomes.

I am sure this child's Kindergarten teacher will be thrilled to have him running around the classroom and standing on chairs in the fall....

You are not judging in a bad way, you are making an accurate observation of what this child was doing and the complete lack of attention from the parents.

We have always insisted that our children display good manners whether at our table, in others' homes, or in restaurants, regardless of what other children might be doing. As a result, we have always been able to take the kids anywhere even at early ages.

Keep doing what you know is right!

J. F.

Nah, you did fine...it was your friend that should have been more on top of her kids. We always take our daughter to kid-friendly places and we try to bring her things to do to keep her occupied while we are waiting (coloring page, iPhone games) but we don't just let her bounce all over the place and run around like a crazy person. They need to be taught how to behave in public places and that nobody eating out needs to be disturbed by their antics. They also don't need to be getting in the way of the waitstaff that are trying to do their jobs.

You're not uptight. That stuff is SO annoying!

I find that bypassing the parents ENTIRELY and telling the offending child "you need to sit down. It's bad manners to jump on your chair and take other people's things!" is usually enough to get the parent's attention.

Yeah, they might not like it...but so what?!

Your friends' kids might be much better behaved at restaurants when they are not with other children and adults and where the parents can provide more constant, consistent attention to them and keep the dining experience more brief. Your daughter didn't behave as well as she usually does, so they kids probably fed off of each other somewhat. What you experienced may not be their kids' typical restaurant behavior either. That doesn't excuse it, but your assessment may be skewed by the dynamic of more people being involved.

I expect my daugther to behave in a sitdown restaurant and to stay at the table. She does occasionally sneak under the table or walk to another chair at the table, but that's as far as it goes. She isn't allowed to bother other customers or be in the way of people. That said, I'm also realistic about going out to eat with her at a sit-down restaurant. There's a 45 - 60 min window that she will behave well at a restaurant, and it requires attention from me. If I want a 2 hr dining experience with my friends, then I need to get a babysitter. In fact, if I'm going out to eat with friends, I'd generally rather we all got sitters and enjoyed an adult night out. Also, I generally take her places that are a little louder/bustling type of places which bring some type of food very quickly (Olive Garden, Cheesecake Factory, Mexican). That way she's got some food going in and is also occupied. I also pull out my debit card when the entree or dessert arrives so that I can settle the bill shortly and leave as soon as we are done. Downtime is NOT a child's friend in a sit-down restaurants.

What really ticks me off is when I pay a babysitter so that I can go out for a calm leisurely dinner and get seated next to a table with 5 little kids (such as what you described). I feel like I'm paying a babysitter so that I do not have to dine with children that night. I wish restaurants would set up their restaurants to work with adult only parties vs. parties with kids the same way they used to have to dosmoking and non-smoking!

It's a safety issue. They should be seated while eating. I just wish parents would get sitters sometimes. When kids are running around at a restaurant, nobody is enjoying themselves--parents, kids, employees, or other patrons.

100% agree with you!

I can't stand seeing obnoxious kids at restaurants. Unfortunately, a few of my friends kids act a little crazy and it's really embarrassing for me.

insist on good manners! and thank you for doing so!
khairete
S.

You did the right thing. It's not about having toys, etc. While that helps, I would expect my child over 2 to listen, behave, and have good manners even if they are bored. Otherwise, we leave the restaurant. Yes, it's good to have a game plan, but being a child doesn't mean you need to run, jump, play in an inappropriate situation. Your friends are lazy parents and should be embarrassed.

It makes it h*** o* you, but speak up for your child and help her tell her friend to not bother her belonings. An don't change the rules just because of other's behavior. I have no problem saying "Well, we have a different rule, and you can't do that." or (loudly) "Tell Billy that these are your belongings and he may not touch." You can't change others' behavior, but you must set your own expectations and follow through.

This is the start of teaching your child not to be a follower, but to have high standards for him/her self. You did great.

You should not be asking whether you were too uptight, the other mom should be asking whether she was too lenient/negligent! I mean, there's nothing wrong with your asking this question, but you were really setting a good, respectable parenting standard. I just hope the other mom (or dad) noticed and started questioning her/his parenting standards!

I think you were right. I do not let my kids stand up and jump and run around when we are eating out. They know how to behave. They aren't perfect, but they know when we are in a nicer place, to behave better.

I don't think you're uptight at all. I expect good manners from my daughter as well. Way to go, Mom!

I wouldn't let my children get up from the table unless it was to use the restroom. Period. If you want your children to run around and play then take them to the park or something. A restaurant is not the place for such behavior. That being said, some parents see restaurants as the opportunity to let loose and get a break. Either way, don't let it get to you.

I do require manners at a restaurant, as well as at home or anywhere else we go!

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am old school and old school is all about respect. Respect for self, respect for others at the table, respect for the employees, and respect for the restaurant. Letting children run around and act up at a restaurant or any other public place shows no respect for anyone else.

I believe children should be taught at home on a nightly basis how to sit at a dinner table and behave. There is no getting up until you are done and excused; there are no toys; we don't answer the phone, etc.

Now bringing a few small toys to a restaurant to keep the LO occupied while waiting for food and while adults enjoy dinner conversation is a great idea and I definitely do that. But at home or at another's home, there are no toys or playing at the table.

I insist my kids behave EVERYWHERE. A good person does not disturb others unnecessarily, and it is my job to teach my girls to be good people.

You sound like 'my' kind of parent! As the grandmother of three (ages 8, 6, and 4) with whom I have absolutely no trouble going into any restaurant, or other public place, I can tell you that teaching your child manners is absolutely the right thing to do.
You didn't really ask this, but here's what I was thinking as I read your difficulties with keeping to your rules when the other child was acting out so badly.. I've heard my daughter tell her girls, in front of parents who are not helping their children behave well, "What other families do is their business, but in our family, we don't do that". Sometimes the offending parent will pay attention, but most often they don't. Either way, the expectation has been reinforced for our granddaughters that they behave in a proper manner. It is also expected that, if a child forgets their manners and doesn't respond well to the first reminder, a trip outside the restaurant is in order. Once outside, there is no 'punishment' other than a strict 'talking to'. I'd have to say that all of the adults in our family have perfected the 'talking to' to the point where the children would usually prefer several good swats on the bottom.
Just a side note to all of this. Our granddaughters attended church services with us this past Sunday. One chose to join the children's choir in singing a special song with our adult choir. I was in the adult choir, where I could easily see her sitting waiting their turn to come on stage. A friend sitting beside her was bouncing and making a bit of disturbance as they waited. Not only was she doing that, but she kept leaning toward our granddaughter trying to get her to join her in the bouncing. Our girl resisted for quite a while, but as happens, a six year old can only resist such temptation so long. When she started to join her friend in bouncing, I managed to catch her eye and give her a short shake of my head. It made me so proud of her that she immediately settled down and refused her friend's further attempts to get her to join in her bouncing routine. This is a result of excellent parenting on the part of our daughter and her husband. We grandparents can only take credit for having backed them in what they've taught their girls and continuing to enforce their rules when the girls are in our care.

My son (6-1/2) sits and talks quietly in restaurants. We have been taking him to restaurants since he was born. We go to the same caliber of restaurants we went before he was born - we do not go to 'child friendly' places. They tend to have loud disruptive children running around. We do not bring activities and I cannot stand when people plop their kids down with a screen and pretty much ignore them for the entire meal. We compromised on crayons before the meal - it was virtually impossible to avoid being issued crayons at most restaurants. They go away as soon as the food arrives. My son remains seated and speaks quietly until the meal is over - period. If it is late and he seems tired, we will skip coffee and have that at home. Once when he was about a year old - we had to leave because he was too loud - he was hungry (our fault) but we would not let him disrupt other diners' meals.

I really dislike children running around in restaurants and will say something to the server. If a child needs to walk around, an adult should take them outside. Same if the child is loud.

We've been out to restaurants very often with out friends and their kids. We probably look like uptight parents and if that's the case I don't care. I explain to our kids that just because their friends are allowed to behave a certain way doesn't mean they can behave that way. I don't care how "kid friendly" a restaurant is, restaurants are not playgrounds and there are people trying to enjoy their meal. Yes, I do insist that my kids stay seated and out of the way of the wait people. Honestly I have been embarrassed by the behaviour of my friends' kids at restaurants. Not sure why Melanie thinks you're being judgemental.

Sorry, I do kinda think your overreacting. I'm not in the majority here though. I have a son who just turned 4. We rarely ever go out to dinner and last time we got lucky because he fell asleep. I just think kids are different, not all of them will sit still, and of course the parenting is a key factor as well. I believe most kids in that age group wouldn't want to sit still that long. I don't let my son run around crazy and screaming I won't put up with. I do want to enjoy myself too though. I've stood outside with him for half an hour, but I've also let a little bit slide. You'd probably hate this, but we were with a couple friends and one made him a paper airplane which they tossed around a little. I just try to go to more kid friendly places.

Actually, I think you sound pretty uptight about it. Good job on judging your friends too. Of course it is good to teach and encourage good table manners, but some kids are just better at it than others. Some kids are simply high energy by nature and others are more calm. Some have better attention spans than others. On his very best behavoir, I am sure my 3 year old would still do something that you would consider annoying and then you would have to judge both of us and decide that I have a lack of parenting skills. We only go to places that are kid friendly where we dont have to worry so much about one trangression causing judgemental stares from folks like you. Glad we dont have to go to dinner together!

As parent we ten to put ourselves in the trap of either having to judge other parents or feeling like there must be something wrong with our own parenting. I found early on that I could avoid that parenting peer pressure trap by using three little words : "In our family…" This means that I do not have to justify to myself or my children another parent's standards. My husband and I tend to er more on the "uptight" side and have children that use manners when speaking to people, talk quietly in a resteraunt and sit appropriately at adult functions (church service, graduation, etc) when necessary. Even as toddlers we talked to tem about other families having different rules than we do. Some rules are just a matter of right and wrong (like you don't steal someone's dinner off their plate) but mostly if we focus on only applying our family rules to our own family, and being honest with our kids about it, life is much easier.

No, you are not too uptight.

We go out, as a family, once a week. Our boys are 5, 3 & 1, and we don't let any of them wander around the restaurant. Yes, for the baby I sometimes get up and walk around with him, because he's a baby, and tends to eat the crayons at the table. The older kids are expected to color, entertain themselves with one of the small toys or books we brought for them, and if all hell is about to break loose, we give 1 a Leap Pad and the other an iPad.

If we are at a NICE restaurant for a special occassion, meaning, we are probably there for a birthday party, Baptism, etc, we might have the electronic babysitters out MUCH earlier on because I would hate for my kids' behavior to disrupt an important event.

Sometimes I wonder if I am too strict too, but recently a friend of mine remarked how impressed she and her husband were when they hosted my family and other families that I watched my kids, but the other parents just let them loose. Do what feels right for you and your kids. I am uptight in many situations, but I will not permit my kids to run amok in public.

Lots of answers, maybe mine is a repeat...but HOW DID YOU NOT SAY ANYTHING? I would have totally lost my cool. My 6 yo active boy is not allowed to misbehave in a restaurant. Other patrons do not think it's cute. I bring activities for him, and if it becomes too much he is escorted out of the dining room until he can regain his composure and/or our meal comes. Also, we do not linger after our meal is finished. It is too much to ask of a small child. I would have been tempted to ask the wait staff to pack my food to go and excuse myself and family from the humiliating experience. Above all I would never go out to dinner with them again.

You're not too uptight. My advice is to stick with what you're doing and sit back and wait to start reaping the benefits. We started taking my daughter to restaurants of all kinds from a very young age. There were times during the toddler years when one of us had to get up and maybe take her for a short walk or change of scenery until the food came, but for the most part, she was always able to sit quietly at the table and remain engaged as she had learned to do at home. We've always insisted on age-appropriate behavior at meal times at home.

There have been many times over the years that people have come up to us and commented on my daughter's good behavior. She's also become a very good eater and has always enjoyed trying new foods at restaurants, so she loved being there with us. When she was very little, my husband thought I was being a little over the top by insisting on good manners. He has recently thanked me for being that way because he notices how so many kids (and adults) have no manners these days. Patting myself on the back now - lol.

You're not uptight. Its not just the staff you have to consider, its the other patrons.

I wouldn't tolerate the behavior you are talking about for 5 seconds. I know it was a hard situation. I have 3 and 5 year old boys and believe me, they would be the ones trying to run,jump, etc. However, my husband and I just don't go to restaurants. . . period. . . . without being ready to discipline. In the case you described I would ignore the other children's behavior and tell our kids that they aren't allowed to run around in restaurants. One warning, after that, removal outside and 5 minutes time out. Happens again, removal to the car. My husband and I tag team. If they actually have to go to the car, the other person will eat quickly and relieve the other parent after 10 minutes so they can finish eating. The good news is that this doesn't happen much anymore. We were even in your neck of the woods and took them out to lunch at Sunnyside last weekend. ALL of us got to enjoy our Tahoe lunch in peace!

I think I'm uptight when we go out in a group and my kids are the only ones made to sit and behave BUT that is how they should act and that's how it's going to be. Recently I was at a restaurant and was totally shocked by one group. The adults where at 1 table and the 5 kids ranging in ages 5-10 or so were at a separate table and were literally screaming and jumping in the booth like monkeys while the adults just sat and chatted away. You wouldn't even know that the kids were theirs except I saw the poor waitress go over and say something finally. Rude.

You're not too uptight. It's important to teach children how to behave appropriately. I would never allow my children (or grandchildren) to run wild in a restaurant. Now that my children are all grown, I appreciate being able to dine out without the annoyance of someone else's kids running amouk. Parents who allow this sort of disruptive and inappropriate behavior are lazy or just plain rude. They're note doing their children any favors either.
Keep doing what you're doing...it's the right thing.