Making First Born Child Feel Special.

J., I don't have any advice for you on this topic, but I just wanted to commed you for being such a thoughtful friend. Whatever you do, that little girl will probably remember it for the rest of her life. I was 8 years old when my mom had my brother, her first child with my stepdad. One of the ladies from church brought a coloring book and markers for my sister and me the first time she stopped by to see the new baby. That small present and attention meant the world to me, even though I didn't fully understand it at the time. I still remember it, her name, everything about it to this day, and I have not seen her or spoken to her in probably 20 years. Even now, when I see a new baby, I make it a point to talk to the older child and ask him/her about the new sibling instead of simply ignoring the older child and cooing over the newborn. Your children (including your stepson and future children) are so lucky to have such a thoughful mom!

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There is a great book called "the room in my heart" IT is a great story about a Mother and a Father who have seperate rooms in their heart for each child! My children loved the book. For quotes check out
www.bartleby.com or www.quotationspage.com
I use these with my scrapbooking. Other quotes to try:

You have the face of an angel with your beautiful smile. No one can resist those eyes-What undeniable style!-Linda Price

I look into your eyes and see the greatest miracle given to me. You are the joy of everyday-your smile guides my way.-Shelley Howington

All the dreams I prayed you'd be
Are all the things you are
You were once my little girl
And now my shining star.

Precious jewel, you glow, you shine, reflecting all the good things in the world. Maya Angelou

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Hi J.,

I don't have any artistic abilities, so I can't help with the shadow box, but I thought I'd tell you what happened with my son which you can pass along to your friend. We hadn't been back from the hospital but about a week, and I had the baby pictures out on the bed to put in an album during his nap. My 27 month old picked up one of the older albums and started looking at the pictures. I looked over and said to him, "See how little you were then, just like your brother!" He thought he was looking at his baby brother's pictures. I said, "No, this is you. See how much we loved and took care of you? See how special you are to us? And you still are, even though you don't need for us to carry you around anymore." He must have studied those pictures for a half hour. I could tell it made a difference, and it also staved off what I could tell was a little jealousy.

Have fun with the project!
D.

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I like your friend have just brought home a new born he is 3 weeks old, and he has a sister that is 7 1/2. Luckily I have not had a problem like the one you have described, and I am not artistic either but this is just a thought. You could put something like God loves you just as much as He loves your baby sister. We have tried to let our daughter know everyway possible that we still and will always love her.
She also needs to know that her sister loves her too. For example we let our daughter make her brother a build a bear to give him at the hospital. Like wise I went and made a build a bear for her from him. They got their bears at the same time the day he was born. My daughter sleeps with this bear most evry night. Also I try to let her help me as much as she can with taking care of her brother, I think this helps.

Hi J.:)
Sorry I do not have a quote to tell you,but was thinking if you can offer to watch the baby so mom can go and have one on one time with 7 years old (doing something the little girl likes) that might be the best gift. Just a thought.

That is a great idea Maybe you could use something like " You'll Alway Be My Baby" or something along those lines.

I'm sure the child and mom will appreciate whatever you come up with. :-)

Is there a story your friend has told you about her 7 yr old? Something short and sweet about having their first child? "You are our first born....."

If nothing else, and if her name is short and fits inside of your shadow box, you could always do the thing where ea letter of her name is the beginning of an adjective describing her.

Have fun!

First off, you are an amazing friend.

Secondly, check quoteland.com. I get a lot of good quotes from there.

J.,
Bless your heart for being so very considerate! My kids are 5 years apart, and I make sure to remind my oldest that he is always going to be my number 1 and that I'll always love him. A shadow box sounds like a terrific idea! How does this precious 7 year old define herself? Is she an artist? a sporty kid? a singer or dancer? You know her. Why not put something in the box that represents who she is right now and what makes her stand out from the crowd? Maybe she's won an award that can be framed. I AM LOVED, or I AM SPECIAL would work, or try a simple biblical verse on love. Let us know how it turns out!

I have a picture of my husband and little girl looking out at the beach. I heard the following quote and finally found it to hang beside of it: "To the world you may only be one, but to one you may just be the world." It would definitely work for your situation.

Well I think you have some good responses here but I just want to say......you are a very special friend and I think it's great you are doing this project for the older daughter. This is something that she will never forget!

"We loved you first" since she was the first born.

i went to quoteland.com and looked up a quote that applies to all children.

"The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him." ~Pablo Casals

hope this helps!!

PLEASE suggest to your friend to read Siblings Without Rivalry! I have four kids and I wished I had read it sooner! (No, it's not too early because rivalry seeds start immediately- obviously- and it has fabulous advice for bringing home a new baby!!!)

I don't have a specific quote- sorry. I just wanted to caution you about comparing or using a quote that does ("you can do this and the baby can't," etc. because it sets them up to believe that one is better than the other and they will always try to compete to "be the better one" in their parents eyes.) How about putting her name in big letters and include tons of pictures as a baby with her parents googling over her the way they do her sibling?

How about this one?

"Remember, Mommy and Daddy first loved you." or some variation thereof.

She needs to know she is a BIG SISTER now, and it is very important to her little sister, and her mom and dad. Being a big sister is fun because she gets to read and teach her little sister how to play games and many other things she already knows how to do.

Check out storypeople.com. Brian Andreas is a great artist who does awesome prints. Some are funny, some are heartwarming and some are just quirky. You can search by theme too.

Some that I like that may apply are...
Perfect Day
Invention
Great Game
Her Laughter
Such Small Things
but there may be others depending on her interests and her own personality traits.

And if you don't find anything...my mom tells me that I am her favorite oldest child and my sister is her favorite youngest. :)

I think that it's awesome what a great friend you are - to your friend AND to her daughter. :)

I have just had a baby who is one month old. I have a daughter who is 11. So far we have not had any problems. One of the important things to let the family know is to do things as a family, but also do things with just the older child. You would need to colaborate with the family but you could include gift certifates that you make up on your own that say this intitles _____________(child's name) to one night at the movies(etc..) with mom and dad. Pick differnt activities that would be of interest for the family. It was hard for me to do, but my daughter had a trip planned with the youth group at church overnight. Parents could go to help watch the kids in the indoor water park. My husband was already going, but I was unsure about going. My mom said she would watch the baby. After giving it some thought I decided to go, because I thought it would be good for my 11 year year old to have mom and dad for her exciting trip to herself since the baby had been getting alot of attention the last few weeks. This made her feel special. She has gotten all of the attention for 11 years and now she has to share. So far she is doing a great job.

Any photos and/or videos of her when SHE was little would help reinforce that not only was she a baby once, too, but that SHE was much adored AS a baby (and still is appreciated for her more grown-up self)! Maybe you could take her on a monthly 'grown up girl' date -- just you and her -- or something. Or, as someone else suggested, maybe you could keep the baby while the parents (or mom) take(s) her out! Encourage 'Mama' to consistently compliment her for helping, etc, also.

I would say something to the effect of "forever my baby" or "Always the love of our life"...I have a 4 1/2 yr old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter. He is rarely jealous but at times when he needs my attn I say, "you will always be my favorite little boy, and always be mommy's first baby, that will never change" So, I would say to emphasize the fact that she was the first "baby" and always will be. Cute, good luck!

Hi J.
That is a very sweet thing to do! What about YOU ARE GORGEOUS! or maybe YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Something like all babies start out cute and then grow into beautiful and precious little girls. Something to make her feel like she has reached a better level that her little sister wil reach someday but right now she is the one that has grown into beautiful and out of cute? Not sure if this helps but the idea being to make her feel like she is the only one and special until she can get a little bigger and more secure.
You are very kind to help her out, I am sure it will be appreciated
Good Luck!
T.

"You are loved" would make a great saying. Circle it with pictures of her favorite things- such as hearts and butterflies.

First thing that came to mind:

To Mommy & Daddy's First Precious Miracle

Hi J.,
Idea #1
In the shadowbox place a mirror surrounded with the words 'YOU _______ are a most beautiful and wonderful daughter of God. As a OUR child of God you are so very much loved' worked for failing self esteem of another child. Fill in the blank with her 1st and middle name or your favorite nick name for her if it is uplifting.

How about making it an announcement of "Date Night" with Mommy or Daddy - kind of like what you would see on a formal schedule or a restaurant chalk board. Most childcare experts say that the most important thing for a first born child is to spend quality one on one time with one or both of the parents. A lot of people push being the "big girl" on the older child, i.e., trying to include them by making them help take care of the baby. However, it is more important to the older child to still feel that she is an individual person who is deserving of her parents full attention. While a 3 month old may not know the difference if Mommy and/or Daddy is gone for an hour or two, that same amount of time spent one on one with an older child can be invaluable to the child. So maybe a shadow box that contains things like movie tickets, favorite characters from books and/or DVD's, pictures from the local zoo, etc. and a statement to the effect of "Wednesday, 3:00 p.m. - DATE NIGHT WITH _(CHILD'S NAME)_!" Of course, her parents have to be willing to stick to such a promise - but if they are, the child will always know that on that day and at that time, she gets to spend one on one "big girl" time with one or both of her parents.