May 04, 2010,
J.A. asks from San Francisco, CA on April 25, 2009
Major Mood Swings After Miscarriage
I just have a few questions for you mom's out there who have had similar situations or a miscarriage. First, I guess I need to tell a little about my situation. I have a 4 month old son, and at 8 week postpartum, I had Mirena inserted. I took a pregnancy test at the doctor's before they inserted it, which was negative. (My husband and I had had sex at this point, and unprotected sex once. The time that we were not careful, was the first time we had sex after the birth of my son, 6 weeks pp. I was exclusively breastfeeding at the time, no period ect, so we thought it was fairly safe...) After the mirena was inserted, I started feeling nauseous, tired and headaches. I blamed it on the mirena, but eventually took a pregnancy test. It was positive, I went to the doc and found out I was already 10 weeks pregnant, meaning I was pregnant before I had Mirena put in. I miscarried with in a few days of going to the doctor, as chances of miscarriages are much higher with a iud in. Sooo, my question is this. I miscarried 10 days ago, and in the last 3 days I have been experiencing horrible emotional mood swings. I have been crying off and on, been extremely agitated with my husband and short on patience with my son. I have really been needing a break from everything and just do not know what to do. I am currently a stay at home mom, and do not get much of a break. Ever. My husband works graveyard, so he gone at night, and then has to sleep most of the day. I have been fine with our situation, and extremely happy with life up until the last few days. I handled the miscarriage okay until a few days ago. Is this a normal? I figure that maybe it is just my hormones leveling out, but my mom thinks I have postpartum depression. Should I call my doctor or wait it out? I just feel very overwhelmed and not myself. Any help or advice would be appreciated.
1 mom found this helpful
N.C. answers from Sacramento on April 26, 2009
Talk to a DR. now! If you are already losing patience with your 4 month old son, I would get help. Even if you are feeling better still talk to a DR. Why would you want to wait to make yourself feel better? Staying home is hard enough and depressing enough at times, I know, so call! Good luck
1 mom found this helpful
A.V. answers from San Francisco on April 27, 2009
I hope that you are feeling ok! I had a miscarriage and felt very physically and emotionally depleated for weeks/months afterwards. I ended up going to get acupuncture regularly and it helped me so much. What you are experiencing is normal and on top of it you have a little one! You probably are exhausted and without a minute to yourself. If you are in SF or are willing to drive there, I can recommend a WONDERFUL acupuncturist. Take care!
A.T. answers from Stockton on April 26, 2009
I miscarried 3 times last year - the first 2 I recovered from in about 3 months - periods went back to normal and the dark clouds lifted. The 3rd pregnancy I was seeing an infertility specialist because I had an ectopic pregnanacy before my son was born so I was getting upset about my 1-4 record. The specialist put me on progesterone the next time I got pregnant - I miscarried at 9 weeks anyway and this last one was the worst physically and hormonally and emotionally by far. I blame the physical and hormone stuff on the hormone treatment.
Also, I used Mirena after my son was born and ended up with no periods which was nice - but it gave me terrible mood swings, depression and weight gain - so proceed with caution. I used a regular IUD for years with no problems other than a heavy period.
Hang in there - hug your baby as much as you can and try to keep your spirits up. Let the dust bunnies collect under the sofa - just keep the dishes, laundry and bathroom clean. The rest can be done when you feel better. Ask a friend to come play with Baby so you can take a nice shower or nap. ;)
Watch movies with happy endings...they help. You will feel better - it takes a few months for your body to get back on track - be patient with yourself and make sure Hubby knows how you feel. If you're still really sad after 2 months - find a good support group or see a therapist for a while.
B.R. answers from Bakersfield on April 26, 2009
Oh I'm so sorry that this happened. Call the doctor. You have been through so much in the last several weeks. The doctor has a little checklist that he/she will go over with you to determine if you have postpartum depression. It could be your hormones or your loss or both plus you have a 4mo old so exhaustion is also a factor. Good luck!
R.C. answers from San Francisco on April 27, 2009
I am so sorry for your loss and I do think that what you are expierincing is normal but just because it is normal doesn't mean you don't need some help dealing with how you feel and the hormones. You might want to seek some counciling and talk to your doctor. If at all possible do some child care exchange with a friend so you both can get a break. But most of all allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings and don't stuff them away!
L.S. answers from San Francisco on April 27, 2009
Is your mom nearby to help with daily tasks like housekeeping, caring for baby, and sharing a little adult conversation time with you?
Miscarriage is tough and it's not just about hormones; it's *grief*. In such times, we need major support from others. See a doctor and if they prescribe meds, great. I'd supplement any medical prescription with books on surviving the miscarriage (journalling through your grief will help a lot, in terms of identifying and freeing your emotions about it), and as much time as possible *with other family or friends* to share in the business of caring for your son.
Sending you all kinds of blessings and virtual hugs. Hang in there, mama; that's a tough spot but you'll get through it. Be LOVE for your little ones, both of them. You'll make it.
V.W. answers from Sacramento on April 26, 2009
Major mood swings after a miscarriage are absolutely normal. You are going throw some serious hormonal changes, plus the loss of a pregnancy (even one that is unplanned) is naturally going to have some emotional repurcussions.
I remember thinking after my miscarriage that I might have PPD. I did some research on the Internet (not the best source of medical information) and from what I read it is possible to have PPD after a miscarriage. I did not have PPD, as it turned out. I was just devastated and hormonal.
PPD or not, take some basic precautions. Get out of the house every day where possible. Take your son on walks, be around people. Try to get physically active (if the doctor is ok with basic walking around). These should help.
If you are having any really concerning problems (inability to care for your son, feelings of worthlessness, thoughts of harming yourself or others) call your doctor immediately. If not, you can wait a few days to see if it calms down.
I know after my miscarriage it took more than 10 days to get my emotional footing back.
Try to take care of yourself at this difficult time!
J.P. answers from Dallas on May 04, 2010
Hi, i know you posted your question a year ago but im having similar problems and wanted to know if time helps heal. Or should i see someone? I had two miscarriages one was an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in surgery and the removal of one of my fallopian tubes. It happened last year in November, i still cry off and on and hate being around kids especially babies. I feel bad because i dont want to feel this way but it hurts to be around them. I dont know if this is depression but i amreally worried this feeling wont go away. I am cruel sometimes to my fiancee because of the mood swings. How did you handle it? Any advice would be appreciated..thanks J.
C.M. answers from San Francisco on April 26, 2009
it's probably your hormones leveling out but it's worth a doctor's visit. good luck, everything will settle soon and you will be back to your old (young!) self. :)
B.R. answers from Sacramento on April 26, 2009
I think a miscarriage causes some mood swings in almost every case. The fact that you got pregnant so soon after giving birth means your hormones hadn't totally settled down from the birth yet, and your body likely wasn't even ready for a new pregnancy... which may be part of the cause of your miscarriage. The one miscarriage I had was with a baby I hadn't wanted to get pregnant with, but my grief when I lost it was immense! My suggestion is to get some sort of good counseling with this to help you get over it. You don't necessarily need a medical professional, but you need someone who can help you work through your emotions. And above all, you need to know that this wasn't your fault, and that the miscarriage was most likely for the best for that baby as well as for you, your husband and the little one you have.
L.F. answers from San Francisco on April 27, 2009
Don't wait it out. You've been through a traumatic experience. First off, having a newborn at home is traumatic. It can be wonderful and loving, but it is still a HUGE change; one from which your hormones are still recovering. And to top that off you were pregnant and had a miscarriage, so your hormones are still raging. Three days is not a long time to feel sad, although it can feel like an eternity, but why not seek help? See a therapist or join a mommies group. Talk with other women, you are not alone. Best of luck.
P.W. answers from San Francisco on April 25, 2009
Maybe you are grieving? I think it's probably normal, and it's only been happening for 3 days, so it seems a little soon to call it postpartum depression. Allow yourself to cry and be moody for a few days. You deserve it.
J.C. answers from San Francisco on April 26, 2009
Go talk to your doctor tell her/him what you posted Let her decide if you need a little help(medication) to get through this period. That is what she is there for. Its well worth the office visit
M.T. answers from San Francisco on April 26, 2009
I am so sorry to hear about everything that you are going through right now. You have a lot on your plate and alot to sort out, and on top of all that your hormones are still probably a little off kilter. Talk to your doctor. More specifically, get a referal to a therapist. It sounds to me like the most helpful thing for you right now is to have someone to process your feelings with. There is something other than post partum depresion called something like "transitional disorder". Basically it means that you are having a hard time sorting through the tranistion from one life stage to another. Given everything that you are going through right now I think talking to someone who you can work with to safely and non-judgementally navigate this tranistion in your life is really important for you (and your new baby...and probably your husband too!) Good luck, I know this is a hard time but you will get through this. ~M
D.S. answers from San Francisco on April 26, 2009
I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. It is never an easy thing whether you are ready or not. I had a miscarriage last January to twins. I was weaning my baby from breastfeeding at the time and was on the low dose bc pill. well it apparently wasnt strong enough. I adnt even had a period when all of a sudden i miscarried, thought it was the start of some crazy period. Well I went in and I was pregnant. One sac was empty, the other was still holding a baby. They gave me a 50/50 chance. Well I had such mixed feelings, guilt b/c my son was still a baby mostly.hen when I lost the other baby, even though I wasnt ready to do it all over again. I got really sad and emotional, I would cry randomly. Totally hormones and I did get a little depressed, your body is grieving. After a few weeks it gets better. However if you get really angry and want to hurt anyone or neglect your baby get some help, because that pp depression can sneak up on people and you will act like very not yourself. Good Luck and best wishes!
M.S. answers from San Francisco on April 25, 2009
I am so sorry about your loss~ It is totally normal for you to have mood swings after a traumatic loss like this. I went through it and can relate. I wouldn't wait to speak with your doctor- I would call and get the support that you need. Is there any way a friend could watch your children for a few hours while you go and get a break? Sometimes even sitting in the backyard with a magazine for like 10-15 minutes helps. Talking about the miscarriage will help and keeping your husband informed on whats going on with you will help you all. My best piece of advice is to take care of yourself,don't try to analyze your feelings--feel them as they come and just know that the feelings will pass as time goes on. Your hormones most likely play a huge part on top of an already horrible traumatic event-so seeing your doctor would be really beneficial to you.
Hope this helps-- Big hugs :)
K.B. answers from Yuba City on April 26, 2009
I think it is normal. I think you are right. I am sorry for your loss. My daughter just lost one at 6 weeks-was a hormonal mess before and after. Moms are usually right, but I would give the sitch some TIME and allow yourself some well deserved REST. Of course your hormones are all over the place. Not to mention all the heartbreak of what you have gone through. You do need a break and here's the kicker J.-
YOU will have to declare it for yourself: Let the housework go (trust me, it will wait for you)-just deal with your son. Your mom can maybe help here with son.Cry all you need, allow yourself a week. Do something nice for J., she deserves it. Tellyour hubby to take you away/out for a bit: dinner, movie,a sunday drive whatever.
And remember tears are easier on our family than temper. Tears before temper.
ALSO: CREATE something. I firmly believe that we need to take NEGATIVE and get/channel it out through creating something nice/POSITIVE. (I tiedye but it can be anything creative)Good luck sweetie-this too shall pass, and it'll get better.
N.S. answers from San Francisco on April 25, 2009
I'm so sorry to hear everything you've been through. I've had multiple miscarriages and I want to tell you that they never get easier. And yes, mood swings will happen. Give yourself time to get over all you've been through, physically, emotionally, hormonally...
I do recommend you seek help if you are the type of person who will benefit from such help. You have been through a lot and your body is going to take some time to re-adjust.
Take care, and know you aren't alone!