Major Behavior Problems with 2 Year Old Son

It is NOT your fault!! (I will keep repeating that, so you will begin to absorb it!)

Keep contacting the doctors. Make a video, even with a cell phone, so you have something to document this. Show his non-verbal responses. Document his behavior - 10 AM, spilled lotion, ate some, threw up all over. Show this to your insurance company. Show it to speech therapist.

It is NOT your fault!! (I will keep repeating that, so you will begin to absorb it!)

Keep talking to all resources - school Special Ed programs, they may be able to help diagnose. Show that video to them. Speech pathologists, etc. Keep on fighting for him. Your son NEEDS that from you.

It is NOT your fault!! (I will keep repeating that, so you will begin to absorb it!)

Get advice from other parents - like this! Don't give up!! Children cannot verbalize what they need, this is probably making him even more frustrated, so he acts out even more. It may get worse, before it gets better.

It is NOT your fault!! (I will keep repeating that, so you will begin to absorb it!)

Watch Patty Duke as Helen Keller in "The Miracle Worker", she played a "wild" uncivilized child who was stuck inside herself. Your son may have some of the same frustration. She was able to be reached, he will be also - you just have to persevere until the key is found!!

It is NOT your fault!! (I will keep repeating that, so you will begin to absorb it!)

Surround him with SAFE ways for him to release frustration - carefully supervised bathtub play with LOTS of splashing!!!!!!! Foamy rubber balls and toys, which can be squeezed and thrown, with less damage. Maybe avoid toy building sets with hammers and pegs, he may not be able to avoid throwing the hammer. Help him use dexterity in fun ways - frosting cupcakes! Finger food cereal, not bowl with liquid.

FIGHT FOR HIM, you are all on the same side. Don't fight WITH him - at this point it is fruitless, he is not able to respond to punishments. Become TEAM DENNIS, everyone focused together on solving this, and all on the same side.

GOOD LUCK!! It is NOT your fault!! (I will keep repeating that, so you will begin to absorb it!)

2 moms found this helpful

I would be very hesitant to give such a young child Ritalin. The long term effects can be devastating. I do understand where you are coming from. My daughter (4) did pretty much the same things your son did, right down to the speech delay. She isn't autistic or even ADHD. (We had all the tests run by so many Drs.) She's actually very gifted! (High IQ, Comprehension etc..)
What worked for us (and this is HARD!) was to take away all her toys when she acted out. She learned that if she did something bad, she lost something she cared about for a long time. My husband and I had to stand firm and not give into her. We also ignored her when she screamed and acted out. (slamming doors, kicking the wall etc..) When she hit us, we hit her back on her butt and put her in the corner for five minutes. There were times I had to stand right behind her to make sure she stayed in the corner.
It took approx. one month of consistent discipline from both of us. There was never a time where she got by with anything. On the days where she just ran us ragged and we felt like giving up, we had to dig deep and hang in there. It was not easy by any means.
We also took extra time to play with her. We made crafts, we read books, we baked etc.. We gave her a measure of independence by letting her decide what fun thing we were going to do with her everyday, BUT if she acted out, she lost this special time and had to spend it in her room. We showed her that by acting good, she was rewarded with things she liked to do. I know it sounds harsh, but we were not getting answers from the Drs, and I flat out refused to put my child on mind altering drugs.We had more than one fight w/ her old pediatrician over this, but I am so happy I held my ground.
Now we have a wonderful 4 year old little girl who is very well behaved. She will say please and thank you w/o prompting, She picks up her toys, she listens to us 9 times out of 10. (She is four!) She will still throw a temper on occasion, but it's not severe like it used to be. She also knows how to read, dress herself, and she knows her alphabet. She can write a little and spell simple to medium complex words.
I hope this advice helps you and I just want you to know that you did nothing wrong and you are doing nothing wrong! You're not the only one who has/is going through this. Hang in there and I will be praying for you and your family.

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S.,

I am a speech-language pathologist, and I have a few suggestions...

Instead of the neurologist, try and get the physician to order a "full developmental test" which is typically done at Children's Columbus or Cincinnati due to suspected autism and delayed communication skills. This may lead to a diagnosis which will in turn be paid for by the insurance. Your speech therapist and EI specialist can give you summaries of performance and their professional opinion to push the MD along if needed!

If the MD doesn't want to go to that extreme of the full developmental testing...ask him to least consider a behavioral consultation for helping with the behaviors.

If you are able to go to a hospital based speech therapy or even Columbus Speech and Hearing, talk to the "Patient Financial Services" staff. They may be able to figure out a way of affording additional therapy that your son needs. Don't just take "no" from insurance0--have the MD sign an appeal. Have him document a non-developmental diagnosis.

Talk to the Help Me Grow staff. You have an IFSP, if you feel that 2x per week of speech is not enough...you have the right to change that plan. Or, ask the facilitating EI specialist to focus more on the language/behavioral interventions to make your son more successful.

Next, does he have any sensory issues? For example, does he crave movement, does he shy away from soft things, does he close his eyes and flash the lights?...an Occupational therapy evaluation and therapy may help if the "Behaviors" are more sensory seeking behaviors versus reactive behaviors.

I know that the above may seem alot, but I hope it helps. You have truly done right by your son and family by starting therapy early. The earlier the intervention the better. It is a struggle now, but borrow my faith!

Good luck,

LCB

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S.,

Welcome to the world of atypical developmental disorders!

First and foremost, you cannot let these hurdles of doctors not knowing what to tell you and insurance denials be road blocks. Dust yourself off, and pick yourself up, it may happen again and again before you think you really know what to call your son's condition, you may never have a name to call it.

We have been there, and you just have to move on to the next doctor until you find an answer that makes sense to you. You will know when you find it. Refuse to be a victim of insurance, schools, doctors, etc. Untie your hands and move on to do what your son needs right now, what ever that may be for today...

We have had the best luck, far and away, with Developmental Pediatricians. They will act as a case manager for you also and will make referals for his entire program. It may take a while to get in to see one, but make an appointment and put yourself on thier waiting list for cancelations, and call every week to see if you can get in sooner.

If your insurance will not cover speech, you must find a way to pay for it yourself. You will probably end up doing this alot, it is a sad fact for children with developmental disablities. It is not fair, but it is what it is. Even once he is in school, the public school is NOT obligated to give him as much speech therapy as he needs to reach his full potential, they do not have to help him maximize ANY potential to its fullest, they only have to offer him access to a basic floor of opportunity. Find a therapist, get him weekly speech therapy, and do the homework dilligently to make your dollar go as far as it will go. The sooner you start, the better the outcome.

Explore sign langauge, it will help him with his frustration. Find some simple signs on the internet and start using them yourself, he will pick them up too and once he can comunicate, he may be less destructive. Another tip that I got from a preschool special ed teacher for our nonverbal daughter was to tell her what I wanted her to do instead of what to stop doing. They are not at a developmental stage where they can flip what you say and do the oposite, it really does help them.

If the Ritalin helps him, use it. It is one of the most tested medications there is. Drug therapy for the symptoms children with developmental issues suffer (and the DO SUFFER) can be releived effectively with medication. There is absolutly no credible evidence that any of the diets, suplements, or other "cures" work, but if you choose to try them, do not abandon standard therapy. Any one anecdotal story about someone whose child improved with these things is not helpful to you at all, so try not to listen to anything other than double blind, repeatable studies done by repuatable researchers. Your son does not have time to waste on false hope, and although traditional treatment will not offer you flashy results or cures, your son will make real progress which you will learn to value in time.

Therapy, medication, and special education will have a measurable impact on his condition, no matter what the diagnosis turns out to be. Emotional disorders, toruettes, ADHD, ASD (autistic spectrim disorder) etc, all have the same treatment protocal, you treat the symptoms that you see and you offer theraputic interventions and educational solutions to target specific needs.

Call the county MRDD board and find out what evaluations you need to have to get him on their lists, do what ever it takes, if the lack of diagnosis is a problem, try to get him a diagnosis that will quailfy him, even if you have to change it later, and you probably will anyway. Once he qualifies and has a case worker he will be eligible for respit service; they will send a qualified care giver to your home for several hours a week to give you a break. You will need this. He can have a "noncategorical" lable once he enters the public school system at age 3 until he reaches school aged service (grade 1) and this may be enough for MRDD. Check with them and get the process started.

I wish you the best, it is a hard road. You did nothing wrong, sometimes it just happens. I would also suggest that you ask your doctor to test him for Fragile X syndrome, this is one of the possible disorders that could be ruled in or out with a blood test.

M.

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I was a bit hesitant to add my comment because the experience I have to share is not mine, but secondhand. However, here goes. A friend of mine and her husband, both doctors, began to realise that their two-year-old son's behaviour was not normal for a child of his age. He did not speak (neither German nor English - they are bilingual), he would go into screaming fits and strike out when he did not get his way, he was unusually active, and his attention span was either very short, or bizarrely long. They researched and read many books on the subject of reversing autism, and decided to take drastic steps. They changed his diet completely, following a completely sugar-free diet. (Those with autism and ADD/ADHD apparently cannot metabolise sugar properly) They also employed a special needs teacher to homeschool him from the age of 2 1/2. After 2 years of this, he joined his local nursery at the age of 4 1/2, his behaviour totally changed; he spoke, acted up much less, and was more than capable of keeping up with his peers. The only precaution they take today is to ensure that his diet is completely sugar-free. They are aware of other parents who had the special needs teacher for their child, but did not follow the diet, and their child did not experience the same reversal of symptoms. I think you could probably study the reversal of autism/ADD/ADHD online. Also, I should stress that my friends did this without a diagnosis from a pediatrician or specialist; however, they were doctors themselves. You may want to have that diagnosis first before you try a radical education/diet approach.

1 mom found this helpful

It sounds like you've received a LOT of great advice. One thing I have to caution on is that someone suggested that you are treating your kids differently. Even negative attention is attention. That may be true, but children ARE different & will be treated differently. PLease don't think that you are doing anything wrong.
That said, someone also suggested a referral to Childrens for a development assessment. Great idea. When my sone was 3 1/2, a doctor told me he wasn't speaking well enough. I actually wasn't aware of it. We understood him. The doc told us that on average, outsiders should be able to understand a 2 year old at least 50% of the time, a 3yr old 75% & at 4 typically 100% of the time. Ben was not near that at all. He sent us to Childrens. He does have a developmental delay & went for speech & OT only once a week, but we did notice a change. He is now 5 & is a special needs pre-school thru the public school system. At first, the hospital thought we should try the MRDD. They told us that they don't take children over 3 1/2. That left us out. For other reasons, we had Caresource. So, insurance was not the issue. That also might be something to look into. Remember, the earlier you get with the hopsital the better. There was an almost 6 month waiting list for us.
I, too, would be reluctant to use meds without a definitive diagnosis. I do remember watching Jenny McCarthy on Oprah once about her son who has ADD, I think. She talk about the diet change. That really might be something to also look into. There would be no reason not to try it. You don't need a diagnosis for that. Yes, I think that it was pretty radical, but what can a diet change hurt.
Please, keep in mind that this has nothing to do with any thing that you did or didn't do. You have no control over anything that may be going on in his little brain. Also, one thing that works for our son, is that when he gets upset over something, I start to talk softer. For me, it works two fold. It actually helps me calm down, and helps him calm down. Then, he can tell me whats wrong. Good luck. Keep after the doctors until you get some real help.

1 mom found this helpful

My son has the exact same thing. He is 8 and non-verbal. I went through the same things at 2. he is still to this day hitting, screaming and pushing. He has been diagnosed with a creatine deficiency and non-verbal apraxia. This was found on an MRI. It all started from a seizure so a CT SCAN was done and nothing turned up. He also had an EKG, ECG and something else. They did the MRI and found a low level of Creatin. He was on supplements for a year and had a follow-up MRI every 6 weeks. I was told he does not have autism but has some characteristics of Autism
Find something for him to do like help around the house or have him put something away or get you anything. Then give him extreme high praise. He may be seeking attention from you so find something he really likes and play. My son loves therapy balls so we will play an hour on those every day. I make silly noises and stuff. Sometimes I chase him around the house or act like a complete goof ball. With extreme meltdowns I give him tight hugs but not smothering or dump bean bag chairs on top of him. My son likes pressure or being squished.
I get the insurance thing. I was covered for 3 years and now they say no its a developmental delay. Its not and I'm sure your son does not have a developmental delay.
You are not a failure. I understand how you feel. You need an hour a day by yourself. Its not easy but you will get through this.

1 mom found this helpful

My son is loud, my son is hard-headed my dau get the jest of what is expected. I've been married 22yrs... Your son is inquisitive,.machanical, maybe scienctific... You'll never know if you have looked at him manterial and not faternal two things you must do... praise him for his accomplishiment like their brand new and not an comparison.

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First of all, this is NOT your fault, nor anyone else's, but certainly you made all the right choices in nursing him and taking care of yourself. I know you love your son but are frustrated with his behavior, and rightly so. Rare set of parents who wouldn't be!! Calling for help - VITAL!!
Now... my understanding is that your son is bright but cannot communicate, and that is extremely frustrating for him. Sign language, which can be informal or formal signing or a communication board may help and will not hinder the development of speech. Pediatric speech therapist or pediatric occupational therapist may be able to give guidance with this.
Next, observe your son as to the things that seem to soothe him vs. trigger behaviors - I am referring to senses like bright lights, flashing TV, overstimulation vs. dim lights, quiet music, fan humming vs. noise overload with people talking, TV on, dog barking, etc. And by the way, there may be no rhyme or reason.
Third, yes a pediatric neurologist and I would also suggest a pediatric psychologist and psychiatrist as the behavior is the issue - neurology and psychiatry overlap in behavior issues with children and getting some psychiatric input may help with medication choices as needed as well as various behavior modifications which the peds psychologist could help with in such extreme cases (sometimes brushing the skin of the arm with a comb or brush is actually soothing, other times irritating, holding vs. a "safe area" for melt downs, etc... as eaqch individual child is very different, a professional can help a lot. He is a bit young to diagnose with ADHD +/- possible autism spectrum disorder (truly a full spectrum so do not assume the worst, but rather gain information from reliable sources (such as American Academy of Pediatrics - www.aap.org)and focus on trying to help the symptoms or difficulties which you are currently having). Another resource would be the bigger pediatric centers - many of which have information on line, or even online consulting.
I have seen many kidsmake huge changes/improvements with the correct therapy +/- medications as needed.
Hope could be of some help, or at least some hope!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi,
I certainly feel your frustration. What I will add will seem grossly over simplistic, but I know of another mom whose son had such similar behavioral issues to yours. When she removed all of the toxic cleaning products from her home, this boy calmed right down. She was in disbelief, used a little remainder of a popular product that we all know, left the room to groom a dog which was her business and he had emptied flour all over the kitchen, broken things sitting around and was totally out of control. She swore never to use any product that he could possibly be allergic to and never had problems with his behavior again. Please let me know if you want to know what she learned about his allergies and what products she started using at ____@____.com of luck in your search for the best answers.

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I would still look into have a therapist come to your home. 1hr a week may not seem like much...but from a mom who has been thru it...it does help. Then if you can continue into preschool that would also help. I would say if he is almost 3 and is not talking..that is not normal!!! From experience with my youngest who will be 6 this summer. Who two's and three's were very frustrating. I do not think your son is tuning you out and I don't see how a "doctor" can say he could possibly have ADHD at such a young age. Anyhow, try to put yourself into your sons mind. Imagine you can understand everything people are telling you but you have know way to communicate to them. I think you would find it to be quite frustrating. Your son sounds a lot like my daughter at that age. Try the therapy...they will also work with you or should work with you on sign language. That way you can communicate. Your pediatrician should have had you look into therapy at around two years instead of almost three. My daughter received therapy all together for 3 1/2 years for her speech. She was diagnosed with Apraxia. You can now understand EVERYTHING the child says. I guess my point is..to us an hour may not seem like very much time...but it is. I have experienced it first hand. I would be more than happy to talk with you more over email. I feel for you in your situation. I have been there. We are also still experiencing certain attitudes from our daughter that I know are from my husband and I giving into her demands because we were at our wits ends. Try the therapy. I hope some of this helps.

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Hi,
Just some quick thoughts. Does your little girl speak for your son, tell you what he wants? I used to do that for my little brother so he didn't start to speak until he was 3. He started using full sentences and wasn't delayed or anything but my mom and dad had to make him tell them when he wanted something. Also my little boy is 2 1/2 and does the same thing with his juice.. when I tell him to swallow he smiles at me and lets the juice run out of his mouth. I've been taking the juice away when he startes doing it so he's getting better about it. He has also figured out the safty gates...so you're not alone. I would get a second opinion before starting ritalin so young though. My youngest brother was on it while he was in school and it helped him alot but he was older when he started it. It is a stimulant for people who don't have ADHD and I think I heard something about it affecting peoples hearts. I'm not trying to scare you, but you really need to rule everything else out before you start medication. Oh and my dad started buying stuff just so my brother could take it apart instead of taking the doors off of the hinges and the legs off of the kitchen table.

Good Luck
L.

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Your situation sounds an awful lot like my girlfriends with her son. Hes seen many doctors and had several differnt diagnosis but in the end they said adhd. The meds they have given him have not worked and now hes 80 lbs. over weight and at risk for a heart attack at the age of 8. She finaly found a specialist for autism and ausbbergers syndrome and found out he has ausbergers ( not sure that is spelled right ) But my suggestion would be get as many oppinions and as much information before you decide what kind of action you want to take. Best wishes to you. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Oh his sister is such a delight and he isn't---wow---he senses that in your actions towards him and he is angry and is going to get attention one way or the other. Rather then always point out his faults --praise him for something he is doing right, or how nice he is or how good looking he is, tell him how proud you are of him. Negative attention is better then no attention. Ignore the bad behavior , when he learns he can't push bottons he will quit.

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This is not about his behavior but his speech. I would check with the public school system and see what they offer. My daughter has some speech problems and is going through our public school. There is no cost to me and the school bus picks her up and drops her off from daycare. She goes once a week for 2 1/2 hours. I know it is very frustrating when insurance won't pay for therapy that children need. He may also grow out of it. My husband stopped talking for a few years when he was young. He just started talking again one day.
I would vote for the autism over ADHD. I have a friend who works with children with autism. Let me know, and I can get more information on it for you. Good luck!

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I've heard stories about children with very difficult behavior, and that seriously limiting food additives have helped. One mother I talked to kept a food diary, and discovered that hot dogs and ketchup were a big problem for one of her sons.

I really recommend Becoming the Parent You Want To Be for general discipline ideas. It was a life saver for me! Even though your ds's behavior seems quite stressful, it may be helpful to try to work with it- like the pp said, by maybe spending a lot of time outside.

Perhaps your ds is really frustrated. If he can't talk, does he have other ways of expressing himself? If it were me, I would try very hard to see his side of it, see what he's trying to express. Maybe he wants more control over his life, maybe he needs a way to get his energy out, maybe...could be a lot of things, yk?

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I do not have any experience with this issue, but it sounds extremely frustrating. The advice I've read sounds good; I would also hesitate to give such a young child those kinds of drugs. I'll pray that the Lord will grant peace to your family; endurance, strength and wisdom to you and your husband; wisdom to the doctors and specialists; and self-control to your son. God bless.

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I would also be wary of medicating him at this point. I believe an evaluation from First Steps might be able to give you some ideas. The evaluation is free. Therapies that might then be recommended based on the results of the eval are provided on a sliding fee scale. First Steps is Indiana's branch of a government program for children with special needs of any sort from 0-3 years of age. The phone number for the local office is ###-###-####.

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I have two boys 8,5 and a little girl 3. They have all had their destructive points. I could not even let boys go outside, our neihbors constantly complained and acted as if we did not discipline or teach our children, i know how you feel. My husband and i were at our wits end. We just had to hold on and keep trying. Finally a year went by and the behavoir slowed down. We still have issues here and there, but the discipline works now. We never had to medicate, but i do know people who have, they felt that the medication helped them get through the rough times, and their child did not need to stay on it for a long period.

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Hi, S. --

I can totally feel your pain, and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Many of the things you related about how you feel the joy's been sucked out of parenting your child are feelings I've experienced myself. And, of course, they come along with a ton of Mommy Guilt for even daring to feel such a way!

People with moderate children will never be able to truly comprehend what you've experienced. My daughter is 3 now and she's a delight about 98% of the time. In the 2% of the time that she's not a delight, she's an absolute tornado of ups and downs, drama, belligerance, and frenzy. Our first year with her was more like what you're describing of your son now, though she was not destructive. She was so intense and inconsollable and screamy and stubborn that there were actually times where I felt that I was in an abusive relationship, where she was my abuser. I started to deeply understand what it might feel like to care for an elderly parent with alzheimers -- you still must provide the care, but the person who's 100% dependent upon you is caustic and abusive and takes all your energy into a void.

I so wish I had something to tell you as a suggestion because the pain you're going through is still fresh in my mind, though I try to just move on from it as my daughter has become more loving and balanced and wonderful toward me. There were at least 2 years, though, where she broke my heart and nearly broke my spirit every single day. It's something nothing can prepare you for, and it's inexplicable.

The one thing that I think really began to improve my daughter's relationship with us by decreasing her level of frustration was being able to communicate with us. Since your son is not yet able to do that properly, that could be something to look forward to. If he has verbal issues, perhaps you could start using some kind of picture cards or signs that HE can select to show you what he's trying to express.

Another thing that you might think sounds hokey but I deeply believe in could be a sort of energy healing or Reiki. Someone who is a practitioner of energies might be able to determine what kind of imbalance could be causing him to go to such extremes and they may be able to have a calming and healing effect on him. One of my closest friends has struggled with OCD and depression most of her life, and she's recently found that Reiki practice enables her to feel completely balanced. She's even been able to discontinue her medication, which had not been working well for her anyway. She feels that she's living a brand new life.

As for me, I've done a lot of praying, and I, too, have felt at my breaking point many times due to my daughter's temperament and behavior toward me and toward others. She's a brilliant girl, beautiful, fun, funny, talented -- really, she has it all, but she was not born pre-set to really love us or trust us. That's something she's had to grow into, and we've worked tirelessly on teaching her empathy and love. I'd never have thought those things would need to be demonstrated and taught -- it's the opposite of what all the books tell you about parenting and children's innate dependence on you as a parent.

Perhaps your son, too, is so intelligent that it causes him extreme difficulties trying to reconcile what's going on in his head and all the things he's sensing and trying to interpret vs. what few life skills he's got at his young age. I have felt that my daughter's behavior was often due to extreme frustration and difficulty in managing what was going on in her head.

I hope it helps just to know that I understand what you're going through and it breaks my heart for you. You WILL make it, and you should not be hard on yourself for your feelings. I hope that soon this part of your life with your son will just seem like a bad dream. Don't give up on him -- he needs you to open his eyes to the value of people in his life and the fact that it's CRUCIAL that he give you and his Dad the respect you require, even as a little person. That will help him for the rest of his life.

It really seems to me that you need a spiritual solution of some sort, to really get through to him and help him manage his extremes.

I wish you all the best!
H.

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S.,

I'm very sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time - I cannot imagine. After reading your story & thinking about it - the only thing that comes to mind is diet. If your son has ADHD or something like that, I think there is very promising research that shows that changes in a child's diet can be as beneficial, if not more, than the medications - and with no side effects! There is a doctor that frequents Dr. Phil who has written a book on the subject...only I'm not sure of his name. I bet if you Google ADHD & diet you might find it pretty quickly. I wish I had some other advice for you - the best I can come up with is this... If your son can't control his behavior, then try to direct your frustration to the "disability" versus him directly. I'm sure the added tension doesn't help - I know - easy for me to say. Best of luck to you. If I can find that book or Dr. - I will write again. Maybe check Dr. Phil's site too.

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I know there is a disorder called ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_...

It might be worth looking into. I'm not sure how old children have to be for this to be diagnosed. I found out about it because my daughter has a sensory disorder & many kids with ODD also have sensory problems.

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Has your son had all his shots? If so, I would advise you to research vaccinations & adverse effects...they have been linked to autism,sids,& lots of other things...You said he was normal& healthy at birth, maybe its something that's happened since. A friend of mine's sister has a son who has been diagnosed with autism & was able to get treatments of some kind to lower the high levels of mercury in his body & says he is a different child since. I wish you the best & pray that God will give wisdom & healing...

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S.,

I just wanted to urge you to be careful with medicating your 2 year old. My nephew took ritalin when he was 3 years old for the same behaviors and has had issues ever since. He had taken several different medicines over the years and developed new symptoms at the same time. Now there is no way to know if these symptoms were related to his meds or if they would have shown up any way. Some of the symptoms are listed as side effects of the medicines. I think the biggest concern with the ritalin was stunting of growth. My nephew is the same size as his sister that is 2 years younger....actually she may be a bit bigger. He is currently off all medications(at 11 years old) and has been for 3-4 years. He is doing better now that all the medicines are out of his system but has suffered some long term effects such as being small for his size and has tics (involuntary movements).PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL! Get a second opinion from another pediatric neurologist.....have they done a CT scan or an EEG? Have they done blood work to check for high levels of metals or high/low levels vitamins and minerals? Have they checked for allergies? Have you seen a Psychologist and tried behavior modification? I will also add that I am a mother of 4(ages 15yrs, 10yrs, 3.5yrs, & 2yrs). My 2 year old is a boy and very active and inquisitive....to the point of destruction. He spits out his drinks and throws his food and pounds things until they break. He climbs over gates and climbs on top of everything and knocks everything down. He hits and bites and kicks. He started climbing out of his crib and playpen when he was 20 months old and it has been difficult to keep up with him since. My son is talking "normal" for a 2 year old though. Keep in mind that the behavior issue and the hearing issue may or may not be connected. 2 year old boys are different from girls. As far as the speech goes....as long as he is hearing everything ok, speech therapy should work....you could also check into sign language which will help him express himself without destroying something. Also, just because he CAN hear doesn't necessarily mean that he is hearing everything as we do. There are auditory problems with processing the sounds....he would need to see a specialist but I am not sure what age they start testing. My grandson (by marriage) had a speech problem and saw a therapist. He is able to speak to where you can understand him now but has some difficulty with certain sounds. Another thought is that he is the youngest. Does his sister speak for him a lot? Sometimes when older siblings speak for younger ones there can be a delay in speech. Sometimes it is just "if my sister is going to speak for me, then I don't have to learn how to speak".

Bottom line....when it comes to your kids.....mother knows best. You know your child better than anyone (except God)and have an instinct on what to do. You don't have to medicate your child because the doctor suggested it. You can have more testing done if you think there is trully something WRONG with your child. If the doctor says your child is too young to diagnose then your child is too young to treat. Pray for God to put the right people in your life to help you through your situation. Pray for God to bring the right doctor to your son.

1 mom found this helpful

S.,
God Bless you. I can't imagine your frustration and fatigue and along with working nights! I read many responses and I think the best advise you got was "If the doctor says your child is too young to diagnose then your child is too young to treat." I can't remember who that was from, but that's a good message. I also liked the getting him so doggoned tired he less destructive. . . I do that with my dog! I also would agree to try sign language; he might be relieved to communicate with you in a way he knows you understand. There are alot of good resources on line to learn basic signs. You know in your heart something is wrong, don’t' give up until you find out what.
All the best and stay strong.

1 mom found this helpful

S.;
I know this is a long time coming, but I have also had children with this type of behavior. I am a foster mom and have had 3 children with this type of behavior, but really not to this extreme. If you ever need to talk, my phone number is ###-###-####. My name is D.. Anytime you need a friend, please call. I know what it is like to need someone sometimes even just to scream to that you do not have to appolize to afterwards. It does help. Believe me. I have had to do it many times. God Bless you. Keep doing your best and let God help. He is always there. D.