Major Battle with Diaper Change

I agree with Amanda. My little one started the same thing about a month ago (she's 19 months). When I lay her down and she kicks, I hold her legs (so I don't get wacked) and lean over to look at her eye to eye and tell her no we do not do that, It's a no, no... If she keeps on I put my hands on her legs and ask her "what did mommy just say? no, no". Usually this happens at bedtime because she doesn't want to go. So I ask her if she wants to rock, rock (in the rocking chair)? Of course it's yes. So I tell her to be a good girl so we can change her diaper then we'll rock, rock. Then she stops.
As long as she gets to do something all is good. I see it as positive reinforcement maybe bribery... Good luck. It doesn't take long to break. Well I'm going be my daughter, but all kids are different.

V. (SAHM of Two)

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Okay, I'm going to get crucified for this, but I can tell you that these babies are a whole lot smarter than mommies and daddies realize, and this little fellow is exploring his boundaries, seeing how much authority he is allowed. As parents, or even child care givers, adults need to provide the limits.
He is old enough to understand consequences for unacceptable behavior and praise for acceptable behaviors. If he will not listen to you, continues to wiggle, kick, and make it impossible to change his diaper, there are several options. Try putting him down, leaving the diaper on him and ignoring him TOTALLY for a minute or two. Try again and repeat if necessary, emphasizing the NO each time. If he becomes angry and kicks more a slap on the thigh or bottom, not enough to hurt anything but his inflated ego, often times can get their attention and cause them to rethink their actions. It may take several times of doing this but consistency is the key. If EVERY time he does an unacceptable behavior you use the same consequence, he'll quickly get the message, and know YOU are the one calling the shots NOT HIM.
If you continue to allow this, it will escalate to other negative behavior and he'll expect to be allowed to do whatever it is he wants to do. Create boundaries and stick to them.
1-2-3 Magic works well, even starting at one year, kids are amazing and very quick to see what's expected of them. We don't inhibit their creativity, freedom, or safety by doing this, it's for their development and learning about right and wrong, good and evil, yes and no, it's for their protection, well-being, and yes for the parents, too!!!
So my advice is to be the parent, teach him with love, make the boundaries clear, and BE CONSISTENT. It'll make home life much more enjoyable as time goes on, and establish a healthy bond between child and parent.

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I think it's typical at this age to challenge the environment. Both of my boys did it and eventually got over it. I don't think a consquence is the best resort for 11 mos., I see some disagree, but I say just keep your cool, do what you're doing, maybe try pull-ups, he may just want to switch it up a little every now and then. Two things I did with my boys at this age: put a toy in my mouth and turned it into a game (I saw you've tried games, didn't know if you tried this one yet) move your head just far enough away when he reaches for it, he'll giggle and after a few tries, he'll have a new diaper on and didn't even notice. OR stand in front of a mirror with the new diaper against his bottom (in place against your chest) while he leans against you also looking into the mirror, and change him standing up so he can watch. I do this all the time in restaurants where there's no changing table, I usually put my foot on the toilet or put my knee against the sink, but my boys (now 4 and almost two) loved at this age to watch it all happen. The first couple of times is tricky, but neither of my boys ever fought me changing their diaper standing up. For the most part, I say keep doing what you're doing, he'll probably get past the diaper stage and next will be a fight to get into the grocery cart, then the carseat, then the highchair... I'd hold off on a consequence until at least 15 or 16 months for most things; just a firm voice and keep trying. good luck.

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R.,

Do you give him any kind of juice or water that he likes? Make up a small bottle of something just to give to him when you are changing his diaper. If he is already walking and you are trying to transition him to a sippy already, then he may be closer to potty training too. Start taking him to the potty and explaining what he has to do. You never know.

E.

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Nope. There's nothing else you can do. My son did the same thing from about 8 months through his whole second year. Eventually he was stable enough on his feet that I could change him standing up while he played. Have heart that he will out grow it quicker than you think.

Pampers makes easy ups for little ones. Even the ones marked 2T should work alright - I found these always ran a little small anyway. I started using them as soon as I possibly could with my three for this exact reason. You'll still have to lay him down if he gets poopy to clean him, but it's easier than you'd think. Just tear the sides and your in - clean him quick and then he can stand up and step into the diaper like a big boy. Pee only diapers are a breeze. You can even let him try to put them on himself which will make him feel even more like a big boy. I would tell my kids to go get themselves a diaper when they needed to be changed, and bring it to me. We'd get the old one off and before you knew it the new one was on and everyone was happy. Good luck - having been through it three times - I know it's no fun getting kicked and wrestling with a little one.

my son did this too. we switched to pampers easy ups, less for your money (29 in a pack, about 11) but the stress from being able to change him standing up (number 2s were still a b*tch, but i would give him something that will dsistract him. this phase will pass, and you can buy more for your money diapers until potty training! good luck

Hi R.,
Sounds like a very common thing around this age. You are doing all the right things. I've tried tickling them as well and changing them in front of the TV. Unfortunately, with all these distractions, the little ones may still fight you on the diaper change. Don't know if reason will work at this time (ie. if you let mommy finish changing your diaper, you can have this), but worth a shot. Maybe he can help you change his diaper (ie. asking him if he's ready for a change, then having him take off his pants and/or take-off the diaper- YES, this could cause undo problems...but, again worth a try. He might feel more in control and has an active part in the process. Good luck! L. F. (Murfreesboro, TN)

Good luck! :) Seriously, my son (now 20 months) did that from 10 months to just about now. He still will not lie down for a diaper change - but he will "assume the position" (our phrase for him standing up playing at a train table, or against a chair etc. So I can do what I need to do) Before I could get him to stand still, I generally put him in his crib and changed his diaper while he was standing in there. This limited his mobility a little. It's not easy, it's not fun. He never got as clean as I would have liked (but my rationale was that he'd get cleaned really well at bathtime) I also didn't fight him if it was a pee only diaper. I would change him but not with the frequency I would have liked. Now he has no problem coming to me to get me to change his diaper. I also resorted to pull ups occassionally when I just didn't have the desire to chase him around!

Someone once suggested handing my child my watch to play with while I changed him and it helped. Maybe because it's something usually off-limits? Hope it works for you too!

Hi R.! I are going through this with my 11.5 month old twins right now too! It is nice to know you aren't alone. What has worked for us, is the easiest thing I tried believe it or not! I lay him/her down and put a wipe over their face, that they take it off and I saw PEEK A BOO, and I put it back. They laugh the whole way through each change now, because they love peek a boo!
Just a suggestion!! Good luck!!

Hi R., Sounds like he is challenging you. My son did that for several months, and I just kept repeating to him "it's still going to happen" it's still going to happen. He lays pretty still now. He some time gets squirmy, but I think the worst is over.
Good luck to you.

my son did the same thing. If a bottle/sippy kept him calm sometimes I would give him one, just so the job could get done the cleanest way possible. Once he starting fighting I would hold him and firmly tell him 'no, you need to stay still so you can get clean' If that didn't work and he was still fighting me, I would hold him with him still wiggling around all over the place, but would not talk to him or make eye contact, just hold him in the spot where he needed to be changed. He eventually calmed down and the fighting episodes decreased...this took a while. In the beginning when the fighting was bad and if it was just a pee-pee diaper, if he didn't calm down I would leave the room. It drove him NUTS. I hope you find something that works for you.

This is kindoff 'other than' holding him down. I was wondering how long he is getting held down and the manor in which it is happening? Is he being yelled at and realy rough handled by her for several minutes?

Chidren do need some kind of 'consequence' starting around this age. BUT, only for one minute of his age. I wouldn't even go that long. My daughter (same age) we do a 15 second I would call 'firm grip' of her arms while in a stern voice saying something like 'Mommy said sit still. You need to sit still'. Of course she doesn't like that, but you are teaching them more than this issue of a diaper change. It is learning their limits, children internally crave this. If you tell him you want him to sit still and allow him to move, he thinks sitting still means to move and he is doing what he is supposed to. After 10 - 15 seconds of a hold, while saying the words of what you are wanting him to do calmly. Then release and let him try again. If he tries to crawl away then again with the short hold. He isn't going to like this, but he shouldn't. He is not doing what you want him to do.

Now when he is sitting still continue to praise him with positive voice and words---even if that means starting out with the bottle :) just to get some positives in there.

It may sound tough but this will make your life much easier come the terrible twos.

Blessings,
Amanda

I know this sounds impossible but my daughter started potty training at about 13 months. Her babysitter had a potty for the olde rkids in the bathroom and she just started using it. By the time she was about 18 months old she wasn't wearing diapers except at night. Maybe he would like to try using a potty?

I have to distract my 21 month old too and always have. A book or a peek-a-boo blanket work. I also have a butterfly that hangs from the ceiling and is blown around a bit by the fan. I also use cloth diapers which are way more comfy for her. She really likes them.

WAHH of 2 daughters 5 and 21 months, 2 dobies, and 2 kitties.

Hi R.,
Other than the distraction items that other moms have mentioned while you are changing him ... if those don't work, try pinching his bottom as soon as he tries to get away - it needs to hurt (but obviously you don't want to leave a mark!) so he knows you mean business. Then tell him he needs to lay still while you change him. He will probably cry, but you know that he is ok and he just didn't like it. My son started the same thing - trying to get away while I was changing him - and one pinch worked great and he did not continue doing it. Every now and then he will test it. I give him the same response and he stops. Good luck!
Cyndi

My little girl doesn't like it either but, I don't think I'm having as tough as a time as you are. I give her a squirt of baby lotion in her hand...she thinks that is too cool. Try changing his diaper in a different room each time. Give him a wet washcloth. Can you tell him to go get his diaper ( My little girl won't but, it would be nice ya know). I guess I would just leave the room until he calmed down. Show him how to change a doll's diaper....
Good Luck!!!

Don't despair. My youngest of three thought that every diaper change and clothing change was either a battle of wills or a game. However he would lay still for my husband. At 15 months we learned he had moderate hearing loss, so even though he could hear us the actual message was not getting through. If you even half suspect a hearing loss please have it checked. Also you may try to be very routine in his day. (I know this maybe a bigger challenge, but having three I realize that it is true that every child is different.)I held my son down with one arm and changed with the other. My sister used lollipops. I know the gross factor but if you take it away right after the change he may grow to lie still without it. I would then try potty training as soon as possible. I have learned that potty training is ultimately up to the parent and the sooner the better usually after 18 months, plus think of what you will save in diapers. Look on the bright side he will always know what he wants, true it is a struggle with a toddler, but helpful as an adult.

I have a 2 year old that still wants to fight to have his diaper changed. I know alot of people are against spanking, etc., but sometimes you have to do whatever will work. He usually will lie down with no problem but as soon as you take the diaper off he's rolling over to get up and run. I have learned to just "pop" the side of his bare leg (hurts his feelings more than anything). Now if he attempts to kick, hit or get up during a change I just ask him if he wants a spanking and he lays there til I get done. It breaks my heart to have to do things like that but he has to learn to have some patience!! These kids are very smart these days and will try to run the show if you let them. Good luck :)

Hi Rachel,
I cannot tell you how wonderful it is for this old Granny to read your request!!! I have the most delightful grandson who is turning a year old this weekend, Sept. 8th. We go thru the exact same thing with EVERY DIAPER CHANGE!!!. He sounds as if he is being murdered on the spot!!! By the time diaper change is over, I am ready for a straight-jacket, he is perfectly fine again and the neighbors are calling Social Services, I am sure. He and his Mom and Dad are living with us. We enjoy every moment of our living situation. This little fella decided the moment he started walking that walking was a waste of time when he could run. He is as strong as a little ox. Sitting on him doesn't work. Holding him down doesn't work. Letting him stand up is a disaster. I have discovered that if I can get the soiled diaper off and get him clean, I let him run off a few minutes THEN, I go after him and put on the clean diaper. He still isn't thrilled with the idea, but he has calmed down a lot in the mean time and is much easier to deal with. I have decided that he would run around totally naked if I would let him. But, as I recall.............his Momma was the exact same way. I know I'm not a lot of help. But, just relax....it's a normal phase. When the neighbors start peeking in your windows, have a sign ready asking if they have any ideas on what worked for THEM!!!!! Good luck!!! Venita