Low Libido

Hi D., I'm only 31 but suffer from the same issues. I've never had any kids and really can't think of any reason why I'd be this way. Physiologically, we are probably quite different but I wanted to pass along the title of a book that you could try (just in case it's an emotional issue--I've been tested out the wazoo for physical reasons why I'm the way I am). You can get it at the library: Passionate Marriage by Dr.David Schnarch. It's been very helpful in my relationship with my almost-husband. :) Here's the website: http://passionatemarriage.com/

Good luck.

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It could be peri-menopause, that can start as early as the late 30s/early 40s. It's not "real" menopause, more of a "warm up" I think. Anyway, talk to your doctor about the possibility of that and what can be done to treat it (besides a testosterone cream).

You may also want to try those KY lubricants they've been advertising, the ones that "add to the experience." You'll get some extra lubrication (which could be part of the issue) and it may make a bit of difference.

Good luck!

You've received some good feedback.

You don't mention if your health is good overall. Do you get lots of exercise. Sometimes if you've been inactive for a long period of time or if your health is compromised in other ways, your libido suffers. Your body has to put its attention on the higher priority needs.

If your health and physical activity levels are very good already,then you may want to consider a therapist that specializes in sex and relationships. I had a friend in California who specialized in that. She also used sex surrogates for her patients when necessary. Those are people that help patients heal and discover or re-discover their sensuality and sexuality. I'm not sure how far that goes, but my friend used to say the people who needed the surrogates really benefited long-term.

Finally, another possible quick fix that I've heard about is viagra. Apparently, it works for women, too.

Hi D.,
There are lots of reasons for low libido than testosterone. I'm 45 and had a similar drop for about 1 1/2 years. We are cycling through the hormone changes. Find a "hormone specialist" in your area. They can offer you much more than a traditional OB, although they may be an OB. DHEA is terrific for me. ALso, there are super herbs at the Natural store like Vitex that 'balance' hormones, all your hormones, not just testosterone. You could also look at some of the feminine support mixes at the store. They might provide some relief for you. DON'T GIVE UP LOOKING. Don't just settle for no more feelings of pleasure and excitement. There is something out there that will help.
Best wishes!
G.

Hi D.,
I'm confused as to why your doctor chose testosterone cream?!?
Normally the first thing women & men both lack is progesterone. At age 48 I would think you need the added phyto estrogens. I recommend Phytoprolief. www.naturallylovely.myarbonne.com .I have an awesome dvd I could loan you about hormone balancing cream.

Sometimes it takes up to 6 mo. but over a year is to long (wrong cream). I would truly recommend looking into it further. Take care! G

You're hormones are probably out of whack. A good thing to try is Chaste Tree Berry, also known as vitex. It works really well to balance out hormones. Also, omega 3 fatty acids. And if you want to go that natural route let me know...I can recommend a great doc.
Good luck!
J.

I am 59 and had a stroke two years ago. I have started using vagifem again because of vaginal atrophy. It has really helped in the low libido area. I use it 2 times a week; it is a suppository and only 25 mcg estrogen. Might be worth a try.

I think you've gotten some good advice - a better obgyn who will check your hormones, Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch, which is a difficult book to read but has really excellent advice and another book I really recommend is The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michelle Weiner-Davis. If you are located in CO, David is in Evergreen and Michelle is in Boulder and both do workshops for couples who might be interested in more help. google both of them for more info.

I'm younger than you, but I am perimenopausal. I am sure you are probably experiencing a hormone dip, and maybe low thyroid too, because often pre-menopause and menopause cause the thyroid to lower.

Have you tried taking progesterone with estrogen? Or you can you try herbal stuff? I tried "Super Fertility #2" from Natural Wonders and I was only trying it to balance my hormones, but it affected my libido.

GL,
M.

I am 42 and I can give you a few ideas. First of all I would say that you are in perimenopause. If it is possible I would find a dr. that specializes in checking each individual level in hormones. I go to a doctor that is really good but unfortunately I am in Ut and you are in ID. There is a sight on the internet where you can put you zip in and a doctor that specializes in bio-identical hormones will call you. I have read articles that say that well over half the women are low in DHEA (a sex hormone.) I know that when all the hormones are level a person feels so much happier and energy does increase. I had a problem with not producing progesterone. I got a brochure that says progesterone also play a small role in sex drive. I have friends that go to the same doctor and get all their levels checked and they go on testosterone in combination with DHEA and have great results. I have seen DHEA sold at the health food store. I would use this only as a last resort because once the doctor checks your blood all different things will be checked. Vitamin D is also a big problem for most women.

Hi D. - I think it's definitely a good idea to have a full hormone blood panel done if you havent already - just because of your age. I think you nailed it when you say you are there physically but not mentally.

I would encourage you to talk to a counselor or even a close friend who you trust and who has a good physical relationship with their husband. It is going to take a little work for you to reignite the mindset needed to really enjoy a physical relationship with your husband. It's not just for your husband, it's for you too.

Give yourself lots of opportunities to feel sexy in front of your husband. Surprise him with something new. The best part is practice makes perfect. Have Fun!