Lost Pet, When to Handle the Issue of Getting a New Puppy

E. ~
You've had alot of great advice already. This is a tough issue, and one that apparently many of us have been through. Our house is full of rescures (2 dogs, 3 cats). A few years ago we had only 1 dog, who was getting older (he was 10). Taz was also a dog that everyone loved. So we adopted Cassie. 10 months later, we suddenly lost Taz. Already having Cassie really helped with the grief, because she was also grieving. We waited another year before we got a second dog so that Cassie could have a playmate. No one will ever replace Taz, but we have alot of love to share. Last year we lost 2 cats within 2 months, one was expected and the other suddenly. We did get 2 more kittens (at different times last year), but the requesite when looking for them was that they couldn't be the same color as the ones we lost. We didn't want to replace them, but we wanted to share our lives some more.
You have to do what's right for everyone in your family. It is easier to house train during the summer, especially if the kids are home to help during the day. You may want to get a different type of dog, so that it won't physically look like your lost Allie. No one can replace her. I still have the collar from every dog I've lost, just to keep something of them. And I will still cry when I come across them.
You can check out your local shelters on petfinder.com You can look for a breed, or click on a link of shelters near your home.
Good luck finding your new family member, when you do decide to do it!
D.

Everyone is going to grieve in thier own way - I think it is important that the family sit down and have a long talk about how getting a new dog is an option but it is not a replacement and make sure they all "get it". We just rescued a puppy this weekend from a shelter. We love her to death - but I forgot how much work a little puppy is. It has to be a family committment - at your kids ages they should be able to help more with the extra work that goes along with getting a new pet. You should also maybe consider a dog that is older and already house broken it will be so much easier. I was overwhelmed by the number of animals in the shelter and also the article this weekend in the GR Press about the animal santuaries that have so many animals they are trying to find homes for. Giving an orphaned dog a new home is an amazing thing to do. As long as your family understands this dog isn't a replacement for your other dog - it is just another new addition to your family.

Sorry for your loss...You are still grieving and this will continue. Getting another dog will not mend a broken heart. Wait awhile and think about how/if you could open your hearts and love another dog!!! Ask yourself these questions...Do you have the time and patience for another dog? Volunteer at an area rescue and see if you and the family can handle another dog (maybe even foster?) Remember you are not looking for a replacement, and all dogs will be different, with different issues.

We lost our beloved 10.5 year old aussie/husky last August from complications with diabetes. I said I never, ever wanted another dog because I did not want to go through the heartache again...I held her when she died:( After thinking about all the other dogs in the world that needed us (as much as we needed them) I said maybe we (or I) could do this again. After three months of thinking about it, we found a new fur baby/snuggle bear at our local humane society (all 140 pound of him!) I went by myself (I NEVER GO ANYWHERE BY MYSELF!!) to look over all the dogs. He was the first one in his kennel and I asked to see him, I sat on the floor next to him and he came right up to me, gave me his paw and placed his big fluffy head in my lap, that was it I lost it and started to cry...I was in love all over again...he needed me (he was an abused dog from the previous owners and needs extra TLC.) Someone of something guided me to him that day and we both will be forever grateful!! I can tell you now, we love him so much. It has been a hard road, he has many, many issues (fearful and shy) but after 8 months he will be ok and he will be forever loved by us, his new family.

Just a little something to think about when you do decide to get a new dog. I recently spoke with a woman from the shelter and she told me that because so many people are losing their homes and having to move apartments, they are overburdened with relinquished dogs who are already great family pets and well trained. You might find the perfect pet for your family and have the opportunity to rescue a dog who had to be given up by his/her family. Good luck to you.

We waited a long time and got a dog that is about 2yrs so he is already partially trained. My husband found him on Craigs List and said I saw him and there was Hooch(our old dog) My kids never knew Hooch so that wasn't an issue and enough time went by we don't compare a lot (of course there is some) as Marley Robert is a good dog. My sister waited 6 mos and got the same kind of dog, getting an older dog too. Penny is about 3yrs and is already got a lot of training out of the way. Do a lot of searching and consider a little older dog there are a lot out there that need good homes and are great dogs. Good luck and i am sorry for your loss, if you are like us you feel like she was a member of you family(another kid if you will) and that is so hard. My thoughts and prayers with you, K.

I always tell my clients (I am a veterinarian) that you can't replace your pet in your heart, but you make a new space for the new one. Unfortunately, the chances of another perfect dog like Allie are not high, but you will make new memories that are different and special in there own way. I tend to jump in quickly to replace pets in my house, and not just because of the kids, but because it helps me heal as well. There is nothing like a cute, fluffy puppy to brighten your day. Some people wait and others say they will never get another dog, but I think that is the grief speaking. Each one has to make their own decision. Just be careful and research breeds, breeders/adoption agencies to be sure you get a healthy dog that will fit your life. (Plus it is way better to potty train in summer than winter or spring when it is rainy!!)

It's a hard call E.. On the one hand, it'd be a very positive thing for your husband because studies show that interaction with a pet lowers the blood pressure.

But if you're the one doing all the training,and you aren't quite ready, it isn't fair to push you into something you're not ready to do. Although it could be beneficial to you too, in that working with producing another wonderful dog could keep your mind off your sadness. And/or while training the puppy, you'd learn to love your former dog all over and maybe it wouldn't hurt so badly.

Beautiful dogs, those Springers. My cousin has some beauties too. I'm a setter person. Preferably. Wish I had them all back, Irish and Gordon. But for now, we have a mix and I don't have the phys. abilities for a lot more than the cats! Good luck, and you have my deepest sympathies.

E.,
You only mentioned 1 son wanting another dog immediately. How is the other one responding to Allie's death and the talk about another dog? You also said that you are not ready. Since it is summer, I'd suggest that you take the time to do things with your family that you might not have been able to do when you had Allie. I've learned that everyone's feelings need to be taken into account. I also have a 10 and 12 year old and know that this is a huge time of change in their lives both physically and emotionally as they are in the beginning stages of puberty. Your feelings matter too. When the boys are back in school, this would give you more training time to work with another dog if you felt up to the challenge. A loss isn't easy for anyone. Since you trained her, I'm guessing that it has really hit you the hardest. I'm sorry for your loss. A pet is a family member too, and you need your time to grieve as well.

Losing a pet is heart-wrenching. Getting a new puppy may help fill the hole, but everyone in the family must know up front that the new dog is not going to be an exact replacemtn for your beloved English Springer Spaniel. Just like people dogs come with their own personalities. We have 2 standard poodles, brothers and 5 years old. They are not like our 12 yo poodle who died from old age and a turned stomach. We love them as much, but we had to accept who they were as dogs. We also inherited a one yo standard poodle who is totally different that any of our dogs. She has been difficult to housebreak, is a digger and annoys the older dogs. As a puppy, her previous owners did not do the work that was needed. We love her, but she is frustrating the heck out of us.

I would wait awhile. At least a month. Give you and your family some time to grieve. Time to think about Allie. As far as the expectations of a new dog, none is going to replace Allie. And none should have to live up to perfection standards. It wouldn't be fair to a new dog to be compared to Everyone's Favorite Allie. Give yourself plenty of time to think about a new dog, what kind and your familie's expectations. I would probably choose a different breed just to eliminate some of the comparisons.

elizbeth
i think it would be great for your husband and kids to go a head and get a nother puppy at this point it sound like they need the love of a dog right now it might even help to heal his hart and maybe yours to

Getting another dog might or might not help. Personally, I would avoid getting another dog of the same breed and the same color. Getting another Springer right away will inevitably lead to comparisons between your new dog and you dog that has passed on. Puts the new dog at a distinct disadvantage.

Maybe going to the shelter and saving a dog would be an option.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I would personally wait at least six months if not longer. We had an Akita, Juno, who we had to put down because it had bite our daughter just before Christmas in 2008. We have decided that gettign a another dog is not an opition at this time. Our duaghter is not even two yet, so we are waiting until all of our children are at least five years old to buy a new dog.

Your entire family has to be on board to get a new dog. I would make it perfectly clear that another dog will not be just like Allie. They need to have time to grieve. One thing that you can do is to take picutres of Allie and put them into a collage frame as a memorial of Allie. We did this for Juno because she was a relly great dog. We found out after the fact that if Akita's are not introduced to children as a puppy they are not very good with younger children.

E.,
i feel for you and your family! We had the sweetest most wonderful dog for 13 years. She was a chow and pitbull mix. I know this does not sound like a loveing mix but,she was the best dog i have ever had.calm,protective but never agresive or mean. We never had her fixed and she never had pups and this lead to the need for a hisderectomy! Very expensive surgery and she was 10 years old at the time.i have 1 little girl and she and our sabbith were very close! Needless to say we had no choice but to go ahead with the surgery and she came thru it like a champ. We had 3 more good years with her but she came to a point where she just quit eating and the vet said she had just given up on life. We were devistated and had to eventually put her down!this was the hardest decision we have ever had to make but,she was slowly withering away and they told me it was going to get painful so i had no choice!!!! Our daughter was a wreak but we got thru it. A year later we took in a dog that needed a home or they were takeing it to the pound,mind you this was a shepard a year old and a nice dog but not my sabbith! I had a very hard time with this i thought i was ready but i found myself sort of resenting this poor dog and it was not healthy i just did'nt have the patience for her. I ended up hanging fliers and actually doing interveiws to find a good home for her-i felt terrible but i just was'nt ready!she got a good home and i vowed to never get a dog again! It just was'nt fair to the poor thing.anyway, another year went by and we went to look thru the humane society and came out with a puppy my daughter named him lazlo! And we could'nt be happier. My point is trust your gut. If you are'nt completely sure and you are the one who will have the job of training and nurturing it don't do it. It is a terrible feeling to take that step and then realize you werent ready after all and it is just as hard for the animal! This is just my opinion but i am speaking from experience!you can never replace the one you lost but when its time you can surely open your heart to another! Trust your heart!
Good luck and kind regards,
D.

E.,

First as a dog lover, I am so sorry for your loss. I've been through it twice in the last year and its never easy regardless of what you do.

Obviously you know your family, but I was thinking when I read your post that it might be a good opportunity to work with your kids on how to train the new puppy/dog (or at least the one that is ready for a new one). That way they can start to create new memories with this puppy/dog and also learn a valuable skill they could use throughout their lives (should they choose to have dogs when they grow older). This might take some of the responsibility off you as well. I think your kids are old enough to understand it would not be a replacement for Allie and each dog has their own personality. You and the family will love another puppy for his or her own merits.

As far as your neighbor is concerned.... it's a clear case of canine envy!