Looking for the BEST Sleep Advice for a 10 Month Old Who Won't Sleep Through The

Updated on June 27, 2006
M. asks from Dallas, TX
27 answers

My 10 month old son is addicted to my breast as a pacifier and he has never slept through the night. There are so many different sleep methods, we are confused. Which sleep method is Best? Any advice - We are all so sleep deprived!

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X.

answers from Dallas on

Jodi A. Mindell's book Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep. worked for us

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J.

answers from Dallas on

You need to read On becoming babywise. I have two children ages 4 and 1. They have always slept well. Both of my children have slept through the night since they were two months old. They both still take afternoon naps. If you have any questions please contact me. I'd love to help you.

Thanks,

J.

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M.

answers from Dallas on

I also think that No Cry Sleep Solutions is a great book. If you want to night wean, then http://www.drjaygordon.com this website might be useful. Dr. Jay Gordon is a breastfeeding and attachment parenting advocate.
I also liked most of the advice by the Sleep Lady - http://www.sleeplady.com/
Good luck!

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N.

answers from Dallas on

The best advice anyone gave me was to read the book Babywise. It gives you step by step on getting your baby sleeping all night. I have a three year old and five month old and it worked perfectly with both.

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

M.,

I HIGHLY recommend Baby Wise & Child Wise ... It is never too late to start. The first thing you have to do is take control of the situation by setting as schedule and feeding your child appropriately. It will be difficult for 3 weeks, after that you will be signing the very same praises! I wish you the best! Hang in there. BTW, if you do not do it now ... It will only get worse when your child is a toddler & can walk into your room to wake you! Let me know if you have any questions.

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J.L.

answers from Richmond on

My son didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 6 months old. I exclusively BF him and he would wake up in 2 to 3 hours and I would breastfeed him until he fell asleep and put him in the crib. I notice he would only feed for 10 minutes, he was using me as a sleeping aid. Being sleep deprived and at my wits end I made him cry it out (being sure he was safe and comfortable). He cried out no more than 45 minutes at each of his usual feedings, this lasted for three days! He is now sleeping through the night. It was extremely hard for me, but it works!
Good Luck!

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J.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.

I have so much to say on this as I have been down your path. My son was same age as yours witht he same problem until I reached the end of my rope. Then I read "how to solve your child's sleep problems" by Richard Ferber. Some parents think his meathod is harsh. It really worked for us fast though. And I changed it up a little. The thing about his meathod is that you can make it with the same meathod but just change the time intervals or however you feel comfortable with it. I call this book my baby bible. It really changed our lives. The thing that is important to is getting your child in a good sleep pattern for himself as well. He also NEEDS continuous healthy sleep through the night. I can help give more tips if you like. Just email me with any question(s). But check this book out first. You will be glad you did. I promise it will work fast.

J..

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

By the time I had my 2nd child I realized there should be no night light in the bedroom (only in the hallway so you can see where you're going). Not to run to the room the second the child starts to cry (you're the mom - you should know if the cry is pain or not).

Even though lots of people say not to put anything in the crib I had to break down & give my daughters a teddy bear. Each of them felt so much comfort in those bears. Best place to get a good bear is Build a Bear workshop. You can stuff it to however you want. And not to get any stuffed animals with long hair.
Good Luck!

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter adopted a blankie, and that is what helped her make the switch from taking the breast to sleep to going to sleep on her own.
I'm not really sure how you can encourage your child to find a lovie- mine did it on her own. I've heard if you hug your child and the lovie together, or maybe have the child hold it while you're nursing soothing memories will be attached to it.

The only problem is, I don't know how to end the blankie addiction- but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M., I've had three babies (now 2, 4 & 6) and this is what I followed recommended advice from childcare books/other parents that I think helped in getting them all to sleep through the night by 7 months (my oldest by 3 months). Do not turn on lights, sing or make a big deal of nightly feedings. Only change their diaper if it's soggy or poopy. This one's really hard....at this age no rocking or talking to them. Okay, maybe this is the hard one.......let them cry. I know it's difficult, but really, after a few nights, it's over! The thought is that when your child awakes at night and is rewarded with food, cuddles and attention, he/she will continue to do this. If all else fails, use a pacifier. My 2 year old cannot sleep without it. I've tried and he cries and cries relentlessly without it. My pediatrician tells me to let him have it, it's no big deal. They have to learn how to get to get back to sleep by themselves.....you only have another 8-14 months before he/she is out of the crib. Hope this helps!

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E.T.

answers from Dallas on

I let my son (15 mo old) cry it out which I guess is the Babywise theory. He sleeps 12-13 hours a night and even sometimes sleeps in on the weekend. This has been the norm since he was about 3 months old.

I saw someone mention the soother mobile thing you put in the crib. that is great advice too. When my son is teething and wakes up, he starts that up and falls back to sleep by himself.

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T.N.

answers from Dallas on

I know there are a lot of books dealing with this subject, and my husband and I haven't really consistently followed any of them.
Our 9-month old girl became addicted to the pacifier and would only sleep with it in her mouth (this was when she was about 5-months old). She would fall asleep, the pacifier would fall out of her mouth, she would start flailing her arms and legs, then she would wake up crying. I started sleeping next to her crib so I could quickly put it back in and go back to sleep.
The first thing we did was to have her completely checked out by her pediatrician--she had started developing terrible allergies (sinus and skin). At 6-months we started treating her allergies with zyrtec and skin cream. It seems that her allergies had made her very restless and without the pacifier she would move around a lot and wake herself up. Once we treated the allergies, we started putting her to bed with the pacifier, then gently removing it when she was asleep. This didn't work well right away--sometimes we'd have to put it right back in. But evemtually she started learning how to calm herself. Now she sleeps fine. We put the pacifier in the crib next to her and if she wants it she can put it in her mouth by herself and go back to sleep.
I know this is not a precise answer or solution, but it was something we had to work on for a long while to get her to calm herself. (And believe me--the sleep deprivation didn't help our thought process or patience.)

Hope it helps!

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

M.,

I second the motion re: DO NOT do BABYWISE I read it and tried and it is TERRIBLE. It goes against all mommy instincts to comfort and hold your crying child. There have also been problems with that book check out www.ezzo.info or you can just google ezzoinfo.
I recommend Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears. You can also check out askdrsears.com for advice.
I too have a BF 10 month old and she has just recently started sleeping most of the night. Sometimes if she wakes up in the middle of the night I can just pat her back to sleep or sometimes I offer her a pacifier. If all else fails then I will BF her.
Hang in there, it will get better.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know about sleep methods, but my daughter wouldn't sleep through the night at 8 months and I was exhausted. We found a Fisher Price Flutterbye Soother crib toy and it was a miracle product for us. Almost immediately, she knew how to turn it on, so if she woke up in the middle of the night, she'd turn it on and it would lull her back to sleep. It plays a cartoonish video on the ceiling, music and a 3-D bird "mobile" inside the crib toy. Now, at 21 months, she still turns it on when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night. Good luck...

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I.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,
If you have had experience with the bottle , a warm bottle and warm bath before bed is my suggestion. My daughter was like that and she is about to be 1 in 3 weeks, and she still wakes during the night, but even then i give her a warm bottle then, when she falls asleep, she doesnt wake up until at least 8:30-9 am which gives me time to get ready for work without interruption. I feel you pain on the sleeping thing, I am 6 mos pregnant and going thru the same thing. Good Luck.

I.

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

When I was pregnant me and my husband attended classes called "Along the Infant Way" based on the studies conducted by Ezzo and Ezzo. I thought it would be impossible to get a child on a sleeping/eating schedule. But this really worked. Our daughter is almost 2 now and she has been sleeping through the night since she was around 2 months old. I have the information at home and would be happy to share more with you if you'd like. Feel free to email me back.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.! The best book on getting your child to sleep through the night is Baby Wise by Ezzo. It's all about getting your baby on a good schedule and it stresses putting them to bed when they are awake. It really works!!!!!! My daughter started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks and she's a great sleeper. It's hard, but it's well worth it. Good Luck!!

A.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I breastfeed my daughter for a year, she started sleeping thru the night at 5 months, however whenever she was teething she would wake up once or twice a night. She is only 13 months now and has all 16 teeth, and just now the last molar broke thru. Whenever she would wake up at night I would bring her to bed with me and breastfeed her until she feel back asleep then I'd pick her up and take her to her back to her crib. There where times that she would stay on it longer and all I'd to was put my finger in her mouth and opened it to release my breast and she would be fine. I believe that breastfed babys have to stay on the breast as long as they can, this is how they produce the milk supply that they need. My mother in law told me about this and there were alot of times that I just thought she was using it as a pacifier but I gave it to her whenever she wanted it, and I would notice that my milk supply would go up. What I did before bedtime so she would sleep thru the night was give her a bowl of baby oatmeal and a jar of fruit then I would breastfeed her so she could fall asleep. Hope it gets better for you!

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L.

answers from Dallas on

First off do NOT buy the "Babywise" books. They are horrible, and absolutely no help.

I bought the first one, and returned it as all it ever repeated was "babywise babies are great, other babies are not."

What worked for my daughter was to keep her in cooler clothes during the day (only a onesie) and then dress her in footed pajamas for nighttime. It also helped to have a nighttime routine, so that she could think, "Ok, mommy's changed my clothes, and is feeding me in the dark, it must be time for sleep." This took about 2 weeks, but it worked for me without buying some silly book that only makes you feel inadequate.

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S.G.

answers from Dallas on

Try avoiding an afternoon nap, make sure there is lots of play time in the afternoon, and a start a schedule before bed.....bath, book, milk, etc. Also, do you let him cry when he wakes up? He should be able to cry for a bit or he will learn that you will come get him whenever he wants and get used to that treatment!

Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Have you talked to his pediatrician? Have you tried all the different kinds of pacifiers? He shouldn't be taking any milk during the night at this point if he's getting enough during the day. My guess would be that at this point that it's a habit with him. We set up a nightly routine of bath, book, and bottle, so that my son would know that it was bedtime. He's been sleeping thru the night since he was about 4 or 5 months old. Maybe just don't give him any milk during the night, or you could give him a bottle with water in it (but not in the crib with him). Or you could do the 5 minute thing with him. When he cries at night, go in and pat him on the back and tuck him in but say nothing to him (and no eye contact--it excites them.) Turn on his mobile and leave the room. My son had the FP aquarium and the FP bird thing in his bed, so when he woke up, he would play with it instead of crying for me. Let him cry it out for awhile. If he doesn't stop, then go in after 5 minutes and repeat the steps. If he continues to cry, then increase the time that you go into his room by 5 minutes...5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, etc. It will be very hard for you to do, but it will be better for all of ya'll in the long run. Also, my son took a pacifier at night, and I put about 10 in his crib in case he lost his original one.

Hope all this helps!!

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

M., OK, I promise this will work. Get the book "Baby wise" by Ezzo. It will require you to let your baby cry. Now, if you have trouble with that like I did, just do it in small amounts to start. I got my stopwatch out and said, I am not going in that room for 5 minutes. Then go in, sooth and leave and try to stay out for 6 or 7 minutes. There will probably be one night that you will have to just let him cry it out BUT it will make a huge difference!! Remember, if you have fed, changed and soothed him, he will be OK. My girls slept through the night at 7 and 10 weeks using this method!
Also, if you want to invest in a sleep trainer, I have a consultant that works with me that can come to your house and help you with this. She happens to be in town right now (she lives in Arkansas) and might be able to come 1-2 nights or even consult in the day. She is WONDERFUL!! She uses Ezzo philosophy and others to train. Feel free to contact me if interested. My email is ____@____.com

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J.

answers from Dallas on

Our son was the same way. We had him in our bed for 3 1/2 years. It worked well for my partner and him, but it was quite a sacrifice for me! I breastfed him until he was 26 months old. That was the best I could do. I have no regrets regarding our sleep arrangments. He is now almost 5 and in his own "big-boy" bed. We have a toddler mattress on the floor in our room for when he wakes in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. I don't think I will ever get a solid 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep again! I am resigned to that fact. I hope you find your way soon. You'll be OK!

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

sleep is so individual, but tough love may be you only hope. Putting the baby down and letting him cry it out. Sounds awful I know especially with your first,since you want to do it just right and hate to hear them be sad. but we figured that the percentage of tears was far higher for us and the baby when we did it gradually. With our second we let him work it out he sleeps great, the first still needs us to lay down with him at night, every night, he's 3. There is a book by bloom or blumberg, cant remember he is a sleep researcher I found it useful. YOu just have to wade through a lot of over written text. Oh, other thing that might help if your baby will take a bottle, have your husband (never you) give the baby a bottle before you go to bed. This way you know he is full and are not thinking he is starting.
Best wishes and in the end you will sort it out, just hang in there.

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S.

answers from Dallas on

Well I don't understand... WHY NOT Babywise?

My son was 7months old and attached to my breasts. I picked up the babywise book and it was a God sent. Before you let him cry it out, make sure you establish a ALL day routine wich concludes with a bedtime routine. My son slept through the night by the 3rd night.
However I recomend that if you're going to do the "let him cry it out" method, you should do it ASAP. The older they get the longer they cry and the harder it is to hold off your guilt & sanity. With my second son, I knew better and was able to break him out of it at 3month.

Good luck.

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C.

answers from Dallas on

I have a little boy who has always had sleep issues. the book that helped me most is "the no cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantley.

I hope that helps!

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

Do you cosleep? Are you losing sleep over this? If you are cosleeping and still able to get a decent night's rest through the nighttime feedings, I wouldn't be too worried about it. My son didn't sleep through the night until he stopped breastfeeding. Once he was weaned, he had no desire to come back into our bed at night. I nurse him for 16 months. As far as books go, we like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. He believes in the cry it out method, which is tough to do, but well worth the end result. Good luck!

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