Looking for Support from Moms with "Surprise" Pregnancies

I can relate to you!!! I got pregnant on our honeymoon. Then surprize, when my daughter was seven months old I found out we were pregnant again, all on birth control. (My husband has had surgery!) I had horrible pregnancies(all day sickness for 9 months), and the only thing the got me through was the Lord and watching my daughter when she was a baby when I could. Keep doing what you are doing by reaching out to other mothers, it helps so much!! My daughter's are sixteen months apart and both born on a 16. It makes for a great story 4 years later. THe joy of pregnancy to me is after 9 and a half months when you look over the bassinet and see that little bundle and can not believe it took only nine and half months. You can do it, you are a mom and moms can do anything!:)

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I am a married mother of 4 and our last one was a huge surprise! we had been through custody battles over my husband's son from a previous relationship. We had went through two miscarriages and several other intense family issues. The youngest was 8 months old when I realized I was pregnant. I was devastated. I cried and cried. I never particularly had bad pregnancies. I was fortunate to not experience the morning sickness. Our older 3 kids are all boys. Once I sucked it up and decided that there must be a reason that this one was coming, everything went smoothly. The happiest moment came when we found out she was to be a girl. It meant that this one really could be the last. It took a while to see that the pregnancy could be enjoyed. My hubby had to change jobs to make more money, but by the time she was born she was already royalty. Her brothers (all of them) loved her and fought over doing the yuckiest jobs for her. The age difference being only 17 months between the youngest has been trying, but fun. She has just turned 3 and the next one is still 4. I love every minute of it. Hope this all helps you to see that it can work out.

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Hey M.,

I felt like I had to respond to your dilemma because I have such a similar situation (in some ways, at least). Except I think I'm a bit older than you with a few more kids than you have.

I got pregnant when I was 40. Needless to say, it was a surprise. I, too, was charting (do you do NFP?), but I guess my body's changing as I get older. At the time, we already had four wonderful children, with the youngest being 8 years old. I thought God was finished sending us children so, while my husband was away on a weekend retreat, I thought I would surprise him by cleaning out the attic and giving away all the baby and toddler clothes and equipment that I had been storing. THE NEXT WEEK I GOT PREGNANT! God certainly has a sense of humor :)

Well, after we got over the initial shock, we decided we were thrilled. We would have a baby in the house again, and the older kids would have a chance to help raise and nurture a younger sibling. By the way, we also homeschool (just finishing our 12th year), so the kids are home to help me all the time. I should insert here that I have a house full of boys, ages 18, 15, 12 and now 3. My only daughter is 21 and a junior in college. She helped raise all the boys until she moved out.

Anyway, our baby (now toddler) has been such a joy and a blessing to the whole family. Altho I'm older and stiffer and more tired, God gives me the grace every day to do what I need to do to care for and love all of my children. And the kids really do help me and each other. It's a pleasure to watch them interact with and teach each other. Not that it's always paradise, but the joys certainly outnumber the trials. It also helps that I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world, who supports me in home schooling, mothering, NFP, and basically everything I do.

The other similarity in our situations is that I've got a little one in heaven, too. Six months after this surprise baby was born, I got pregnant again. But I lost him half-way through the pregnancy. Our three-year-old would have been 18 months older than this baby. I really wish he were with us, but I know he's praying for us from heaven. I even ask for his help occasionally, and I know he has God's ear.

So, my advice to you would be: PRAY! If God has decided to bless you with another child, know that He will give your family the grace to raise and love this child.

--Look forward with joy to the friendship this new baby will share with your next to youngest child as they grow older together. And think what an opportunity this will be for your five-year-old to feel grown up as she helps you during your pregnancy and with the babies. (As I said, my daughter helped me raise all her brothers. I had each of the four children about 3 years apart from each other.)

--Communicate with your husband. Affirm his role as provider for the family and caretaker, and as your perfect partner. Encourage him to take the kids out for some "bonding time" when you need a nap or a break. Remind him often what a good husband and father he is.

--Know that you're not alone. In our Catholic homeschool group, there are lots of families with 8-10 kids, most of them two years apart or less. They seem to be doing just fine. If they can do it, so can you.

--Know that I'll be praying for you. And pray for yourself and your family. Ask your child in heaven to pray, too. She probably already is.

God bless you :)

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My children are grown with their own litlle ones. I had six in ten years and it was tough but somehow all of us survived.
My last two were really surprises and I knew that I would go crasy. I didn't, they are wonderful and I count my lucky stars for each and every one.
We just had Easter at our house with our big egg hunt. I don't know which one that I could do without. They are my biggest pleasure.
When they would leave the house, I asked God to guide and direct them to make the right choices, most of the time they did. They are always in my prayers.....it works!
Don't forget to take care of Mommie, too. Nap even if the house isn't ready for inspection. When Daddie comes home, have the area near the door that he comes in picked up and.....for heavens sake, smile and act like you are glad to see him, even if you have had a rough day. He probably had a rough day too. You might be the first smile he has seen that day. Remember, the kids can sense if their parents are happy. Good luck and just put one foot in front of the other, even if it isn't pedicured!

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I am 24 weeks pregnant my self. I did not find out that I was pregnant till I was 17 weeks. I did not even suspect that I was because I had had my tubes tied 3 years ago! I have been having problems with my periods since I gave birth to my youngest over 4 years ago....so did not think anything of it when I did not have one for a while. There are many reasons why I had my tubes tied. I am 37 years old, two of my children have dissabilities, and my last two pregnancies where very hard on my body.

I think I would have known I was pregnant if I had gotten sick. I was very very sick with all 3 of my other babies. So far this pregnancy has been the easiest one for me :-) I have had 2 ultrasounds and an ECO just in the last 6 weeks so make sure everything is ok.

I cried when I first found out that I was pregnant. I am very happy about it now. I know that God wanted me to have another. I pray every day that this baby will be a healthy one and am looking forward to the day I can hold him.

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