J. asks from Saint Paul, MN on June 28, 2007
Looking for Recently Separated Moms to Talk To, Share Living Space? Therapist?
I am looking for fun & support, someone to talk to about potential ongoing major life changes. I am a 46 yr old mom of a darling almost 4 yr old little girl.
My daughter and I have moved out of the house because my husband is refusing to seek medical help. We are living with twin stepsons in a basement apt in the uptown area who are absolutely terrific with the 2 of us.
I am feeling a little bit all over the place and would like to talk to someone, particularly anyone who deals with mental illness.
Housing: is anyone with a child looking for a housemate/apt mate - preferably Minnehaha/Snelling/Grand Ave area? (I hope it does not come to that but it may and I want to be prepared. Not sure how to deal with money, separate checkbooks and credit cards etc but I do want a balance between freaking out and being prepared and taking care of myself.)
Please keep the 3 of us in your prayers.
J.R. answers from Minneapolis on July 03, 2007
I am in the exact same situation, and unfortunately do not have time to answer you fully. Call Crysalis today. They specialize in this exactly, have groups, counseling, etc. I work for HP in Mental Health and while there are a lot of great therapists; I would start with Crysalis first. I will try to get back to you with a specific referral for HP.
I moved out on Sunday. I am in touch with my husband, but it is so stressful. I am sorry for both of us!!!
I will be back in touch.
1 mom found this helpful
J. answers from Minneapolis on June 30, 2007
My best friend went through this situation and it is not an easy road because you're not dealing with a stable mind. She was lucky in that her husband had some money to help support them and she was able to convince him to put her into separate housing. She then found an excellent lawyer, but the divorce took about four years because her husband would change his stance, depending on his mental state. Plus, there were always monetary concerns as her husband would sometimes spend wildly, leaving nothing for maintenance. You need to look further into your particular situation. How long has he suffered? What kind of mental illness does he have? Has he always refused treatment or is this new? What kind of family and friend support do you have to fall back on? Do you want to raise your daughter in this environment? You must also consider that there is a possibility that your daughter could eventually suffer from mental illness, as well. This is not dependent on whether you stay or leave. It is just something you'll want to watch so you can get help for her if symptoms develop. My friend's daughter is 8 now and she is in a world of pain because her dad is terrible about contacting her. It is important to allow your daughter to see her dad, but I would advise not alone. Also, if you stay with him, this will be something you will have to keep in check for the rest of his life. I would make sure to start a separate emergency bank account, too. Living with someone who is mentally ill is immensely draining. I wish you much luck. You number one concern at present needs to be providing a stable and loving environment for your daughter. The bottom line is that if he won't get help, there won't be stability. There is always the option of your stepsons and you committing him into a hospital for evaluation, but this could get messy.
J.R. answers from Minneapolis on June 28, 2007
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It's good to hear that you are taking steps to take care of yourself & your daughter.
I know some of the therapists at Eagan Counseling Clinic take HP, but that's not within your preferred area. They are a great group, though.
We have HP insurance too, and it's great and it's not. I also work in healthcare, and it's one of the most difficult insurances to deal with so many providers don't if they don't have to.
Doesn't seem like I've been much help, but *hugs* to you and best of luck to you & your daughter.
- mom to Chase, 3.5
M. answers from Minneapolis on June 29, 2007
you have alot going on. I give you props and will have you in my prayers. I don't know if they are any good but I heard about the following christian based therapy group:
Family Support Services, Inc.