Looking for Other Moms like Me.

A.,

When I moved here 5 years ago it took me awhile to get to know people and make friends, especially because I had been working and was now staying home. I started making friends from my kids activities. I would talk to parents of kids in my girls' classes and schedule play dates for the kids and ask the mom to stay for coffee or a snack. I have met people from my girls activities and then scheduled play dates that way too. I had to put myself out there and follow up with a phone call to say how I enjoyed the coffee and what a good time the kids had and I hope we could do it again soon. Sometimes you will connect with the people and sometimes not, but you have to try and other moms are a great place to start. K.

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Yes, I was just like you at one time. My intense shyness started in 6th grade. I got to where I couldn't speak to people. I froze and didn't know what to say... very self conscious. I was this way throughout high school and was very lonely. I just didn't speak when I was at school. After graduation, I was determined to change and figure out what I was doing wrong. I wanted to connect with people and was tired of feeling so alone and like the outsider.

I started reading books on shyness and social skills. I learned that one of my problems was eye contact. I was afraid to look at people... it kind of made me nervous. So I forced myself to practice this skill. When I would be in public, I made it a point to look at people as I passed them. I think the book I was reading at the time, said to look at the person, smile and say hello. It was so tough to do, but I did and I was surprised at how many people were looking back, smiling and greeting me.

Another I learned was that when I was trying to talk to people at a get together or anywhere, many times I was too worried about what I was thinking... what I might say next, that I wasn't really paying attention to the person talking. You'll learn that people really love to talk about themselves, so take the time to listen and ask open ended questions and as you get to know them with small talk... you can share things about yourself.

Get out there and read up on the subject and then put yourself out there. It will be hard at times, but so worth it and you slowly find yourself being less and less shy and more at ease being yourself around people. Mine has not went away completely, I still clam up around new acquaintences, but it's easier for me than it was in my high school days when I was practically a mute. My husband says I'm too shy now. When he says that, I tell him he has no idea... if he'd known me back then he would never have said that. :)

Hang in there and know that you are certainly not alone.

If you'd like someone to talk to or have as an email penpal you can email me at ____@____.com

Take care,
S.

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Hello A.,

I know exactly what you mean. I am very lonely here. It's hard for me to meet people also. I don't really worry too much about what people think, but this doesn't make it easier to meet friends.I think it's hard for me to make friends because of the area that I live in. Most mom's are very busy and live a pretty hectic life style.I have two girls ages 4 and 5 yrs old.It sounds like we have a few things in common. Anyways, if you ever want to chat please email me at ____@____.com.

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hi A., i've actually never been shy, it's always been easy for me to just meet people. but i come from a large family & you had to be loud & outgoing to keep up. but it sounds like you may have some self esteem issues, don't get me wrong it doesn't make you a bad person just b/c you're shy, but maybe you just need something to boost your confidence a little. you say your sons 8yrs old, well why not get a part time job. that would be a great way to meet people. from experience being a waitress or working in a photo lab/drug store well constantly give you chances to meet other people. or maybe try joining a club of some sorts or even the gym. the main thing is to get comfortable w/ yourself & try not to think to much about what others may think. trust me you'll drive yourself CRAZY if your always trying to please everyone else!! hope this may help & good luck!!

by the way what about your husband, does he have friends? if so what about their girlfriends or wives? ya'll could maybe do cook outs or something like that.

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hi, i really want to talk to you, i found a group of people, that are changing my life, i'll tell u about it,
____@____.com

Awww A.!!
So I am totally opposite than you but just wanted to tell you I am not loved for being the outgoing one because we as outgoing and putting our selves out there as you put it, are also know as things and talked about allot too. Well my advise to you is Play DATE ask your son who would he like to have over and send a note home with the child through your son asking him/her and their mother to come over for play date and there you go a fun time friend...well hopefully you may have to do it a couple of times or ask you son to "oops invite him self to someones house...not in so many words...encourage your want through him...oops I say) Well someone like me may approach you some time and you should just say I am a little shy...no apologies but give me some time and I will come around. A.

I am not sure what city you are in but if you are in Warner Robins or close there is an online group that you could join. It is called Warner Robins Mommys and we do play groups, girls night out, ect all the time. It is a great way to meet others with the same age kids ect. e-mail me at ____@____.com if you are interested and I can send you an invite.

I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys,13,8,and 3 so i know what you mean!! I have friends but not too many have children!!
You should try going to cafemom and check it out!
I have a group Jeff Gordon Fans!!! Go to groups and look up Jeff Gordon Fans!!!@ There is only me and one other girl that have that drivers groups. I don't know if you like nascar or not, but even if you don't come check it out any ways!!

-K.

A.,
I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time! I've lived in Atlanta for 10 years now and I have ALWAYS found it difficult to meet other women that are like me or that are interested in the same things and have the same sense of humor. It's very hard to meet people here. I work full-time and my son is much younger than yours, so I don't think that you would really want to hang out with me, but I thought I'd see where you live and maybe we are close. A thought, have you thought about getting a part-time job while your son at school during the day and that way you will have adult interaction and socialization, have your own thing that you do everyday and still be able to get home in time to be with your son when he gets home. Plus, a little of your own money is always good!
Just a thought!
Kate

Hey Sherry,

My name is N. I am a sahm also. My kids are 20, 10 and 4.
I have lived here for 12 yrs. and it has taken me a while to make friends also. First I made a few, then I had to weed them out!
The other responces were great- involve your son in local sports activities through the counties leisure services. Or, if they offer sports at school get involved. Church is also a great place to find people!!!! But remember, it is not the quanity of friends rather the quality!!!!!!! My e-mail ____@____.com

well, hello i thought i was reading about me,i've always been superrrrrrrrrr shy. i'm 28 years old, a fulltime employee and mom and wife,married for 4 years, my son is 3, i live in snellville,GA , Where do you live? i found a wonderful group of people that is changing my life, i feel super confident around them, i'm glad i found them, we have a meeting tomorrow at 10 am, do you wanna come? is in duluth, it will last like 2 hours, you'll be glad, to attend, let me know.

Hi A., I just read your post from May 2007. I know that was some time ago, but I just had to respond to you. Your comments really broke my heart. I could see myself a few years ago. I am now a grandmother, but your life very much described mine. My shyness started in my childhood. During school I was so shy I would get physically ill when I had to give an oral report. My classmates thought I was snooty and stuck up. (I certainly had nothing to be snooty about!) I now describe myself as once being too shy to even hold silent prayer! My husband and I actually got married at Ft. Benning in Columbus. My husband was active duty with the Army and retired in 1988. We had one son, and we moved all over the country. I just HATED feeling so alone and scared to meet new friends. I would get very depressed each time we moved. Then I started an inhome business that required me to meet new people. As scary and hard as it was, it helped me learn the skills to get over my shyness. Through my business I learned how to accept myself and learned to love myself for me. When I was able to accept myself, I was able to accept others. I now very rarely meet a stranger. My husband has said that I could talk to and make friends with a brick wall! It seems that I am a few years older than you, but it seems we have a lot in common. I would love to be your friend. I live in Milledgeville. Columbus is not too far away. Please feel free to email me at ____@____.com. I would love to talk with you. Hang in there! (Sorry this is so lengthy!)

i am a single mom of a 2 1/2 boy named brock. i work full time and i stay with my mother. im pretty much at work or at home with my son and mother. i am 30 years old and live in madison ga. where do you live?

Hi A., my name's M. and I am the mother of two boys ages 7 and 9. We moved to Savannah nearly a year ago and I still have not made friends. I can blame this partially on us being a one car family and also I go to school online, so I don't get out of the house much. Once I get around people or get one on one with them I usually don't have a problem talking, but I do have a problem initiating a meeting. I wouldn't call myself shy, I call myself reserved. I would love to have the oportunity to actually meet people. I really thought I would have by now! My husband is Active Army and he is home right now so I still have an adult to talk to, but I need to meet people so that when he isn't here I wont be completely isolated!

I am a new mom and I would consider myself an out going person . I stayed home for 4 months with my new baby and returned to work at the begining of the year. I have struggled with staying at home but one reason why I don't is because I think I would feel lonely too. (That is why your response struck me and I wanted to reach out and respond).
If you are able I would try to join a tennis team ...you can start at a beginer level if you have never played before and it is a great way of meeting people and belonging to a team. (Only if you just go to practice one a week).
I am also in sales and coach others on sales approaches and how ot apply them to everyday life. One of the goals that I set for the people who I coach is to introduce themselve to at least 3 new people a day. I know staying at home, you may not have that opportunity but just set a goal of introducing yourself to a few people a week. It is amazing how many people we come in contact with and do not speak to...think about it, nail salon, hair place, dentist office just any place that you spend time with other people around you. Don't be embaressed....you may never see them again and if you do...it will be easier to speak to them at the second time that you meet.
I greet every parent I see in my little boys day care...a lot of the moms are not talkative but once I say hello and compliment there clothes, baby or what ever I see then I tell them my name....a lot of times, they start talking and I talk to them every time I see them now!
Well, those are my thoughts...good luck and I wish you the best.

Hi A.,
I certainly understand about being lonely. I too desparetly want to have more friends to talk to and share things with. I think I sometimes come off as snobby or unfriendly too just because I don't know what to say sometimes. I can meet someone and smile and say hello, but after that, I never know what to do or say to make the friendship start......I too am always worried about what they'll think of me. Its good to know we are not alone! I am married and have 4 children, ages 7 to 2. My husband works over full time and sometimes I'll go all day without adult conversation.....haha. Give me a shout if you'd like ____@____.com

hey you i have been in savannah for almost a year,and still dont have any friends.so i know what you mean e mail me when you can.and hopefully we can meet one day go and do girl stuff with no kids hahaha

Hello there A.! My name is A. and I am very much like you... I'm a stay at home mom my husband is a manager at a country club so he works crazy hours. I moved to Georgia 6.5 years ago and before that I lived in Denver and alot of other places before that... I'm a military brat so just when I would start to make "life long" friends it was time to move again. Anyway I joinded this forum to find friends as well so if you're ever bored or want to vent or need to talk I'm here. Even though I lived here for 6 years I still haven't made that many friends... alot of associates but it seems I always attract people who aren't in the same place as I am in my life i.e. married and a mother. Well I've wrote enough for now, hope to hear back from you!

Dear A.,

I would love to be your friend! I have been here since August of 2007 and am the new Children's Director at Belmont Baptist Church in Calhoun. Your little boy could be in our Children's Worship. My husband comes up on the weekends from Winder which is where our house is. We are trying to sell it and he is staying there during the week for the protection of our "stuff". As soon as it sells we will be looking for a new house in Calhoun. Anyway, your story broke my heart and even though I am a very outgoing person, I do understand. I could help you meet some people in our church. Please think about coming tomorrow (Feb. 3) and just ask for D. Addington! See you tomorrow :)!!

You should get involved w/ a moms stay at home group or something like that. Look in your local paper and there are usually ad's in there for that. We have lived in GA for about 4 years now and I have found the best way that I have met people is through my kids school and there extra curricular activities. I hope this helps.

I am not sure where you live, but I found the most wonderful group of mothers through my local MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group. I know you said your child is 8, but if you are a stay-at-home mom, this is the group to join. This is a nationwide membership and you can find out more info at www.mops.org and under the groups tab you can locate a group near you. These groups mainly meet only during the school year and my local group only has one meeting left until September, but maybe you could make it to this months meeting and start a friendship and continue to meet with other moms during the summer.

Just try and stop worrying about what people think of you because if they aren't good enough to love the real you then you don't deserve to waste your time on them. I learned this lesson the hard way and even though I am a very private person, I still make an effort to make friends.

Hey A. I'm N., my husbands in the reserves too!
Im active duty though.
I too suffer from mild depression, though i deny it most times. haha
ANyways i TOTALLY feel ya on the shy/snobby misconception.
This one guy (civilian) that I work with came in my office one day and TOTALLY went off on me saying I was a snob and I'm stuck up!
I couldn't get over that for about a week, i tend to hold onto a lot of emotionally damaging things (THEY say)
ANYWAYS i'd love to talk to you more.

Hi A., If you live in the Columbus, Ga area then there is a parenting group called Parenting in Columbus Playgroup. It is a wonderful group of moms with many moms just like you! Just go to meetup.com and search for us! We are very nice and have events to get you and your children out there to meet new people!

A.,

I don't think you're alone! Sounds like we have a lot in common. It's too bad we are not closer to eachother. I would suggest you search out group activities like churches, mom's groups, etc. I am sure that if you had more opportunities to be around other moms you would find some new friends!

Best of Luck!
J.

I am not too shy but completely understand about being lonely. We moved here from FLorida about 8 months ago and this is the first time I have ever not worked. I have worked all my life and made good friends through work. Living here I'm not working and haven't made too many friends. The ones I have made work. So during the day it really gets lonely. Where do you live. I live in Lagrange. I have emailed a couple of Moms on Mamasource to get to know but they all live in other towns. I wish they lived closer so I could get to know them.

Hi A.. I to am a stay at home mom and I'm very shy as well. there are a lot of people out there who are shy and don't just jump out there and start talking. I'm not around you but I thought I would let you know that you're not alone. My husband is in the Army, active duty. Fort Stewart is his first duty station, its not that far from home for me so I can go back to talk to my old frineds back there, but while I'm up here in GA I'm so lonely all day and so bored. and I suffer from mild depression. My advice is go for walks around yoru area and if someone is outside just say a frinedly "hello". or take your son outside for some "outside time play". thats what I do with my son and I have gotten to find other people around my area who are nice and shy as well. but like I said a nice friendly hello should work on starting a convo. keep me updated on what happens. being a military wife is tough. active duty or reserves!
M.

Hi A. I have son who is 9 1/2 Where are you located? I have started a group in East Paulding --

Check us out!

http://eastpauldingmoms.clubspaces.com/ password EP

Meetup.com There are so many groups to choose from. Hope this helps.

I'm a lot like you! I'm kind of shy until I get to know you, then I'll talk your ears off if you'll let me :)

I've been introduced to a group of stay home moms (MOMS Club of Villa Rica - www.geocities.com/villaricamomsclub). The moms there all seem really nice and there are some like me (us) and some that are really outgoing. The outgoing ones seem to really embrace the shy ones and pull them out of their "shells". They do a lot of different activities all with the main purpose of getting moms together to talk and laugh.
If you ever want to get together (playdate or something) let me know. Also if you check out the moms group and like it let me know and maybe we can go to some events together - might make it a little easier if you kind of know someone already :)

~A.

I used to be a lot like you but have "come out of my shell". :) I have 2 boys 8... he will be 9 Tuesday and a 7 year old and a 2 year old princess. Please email me and let me know exactly where you are and maybe we can get together. I homeschool my kids so they desperately need more friends to play with!!! ____@____.com

You took the first step by posting your blog so that is an improvement, right? This is the perfect website to make new friends. We all have things in common even if it is just being women and having kids. That alone give us 2 tons of things to talk about. There is a big difference of course between talking online and having an actual friendship where you go out and do lunch and talk on the phone and other such things. But starting online is a great, you can talk to many people without the fear of rejection. So here we go. What up? (Smiles) To start off you could read all of our profiles or simply ask us questions. I too am a stay at home mom, so I am here any time you wanna talk. Email me @ ____@____.com if you wanna chat.
A.

I see a ton of other moms are in your shoes as well... let me tell you, i am not shy but when i do get to meet someone here (macon) we have nothing in common and it is hard to make a "friend" I have lived here for about 2 years and managed to meet one person but we are not close at all and never see each other anymore.... i wish i could give you suggestions on how to meet people... if you do live in macon i am here for ya : ) I am 21 have a 1 year old and i am northwest macon... i hope all is well and even though our kids are close in age i am sure we can relate to alot of things.... GOOD LUCK!!! ttys!

Well you are speaking of the one fear I have. I am currently living in Dallas GA and have been working at the same place for the last 2 years. I have made some really good friends, but my husband has been transfered to Athens and we are currently waiting for our house to sell. Once it does I will be moving there with my 3 yr old son and I am pregnant with another son. Because of childcare costs I will be staying home. With not working I am a little worried about how I am going to make friends. I will be 100 miles away from anyone I know. Which I know doesn't seem like much but everyone here works has a family ect. So this is going to be a major adjustment. Is your son in public schools? I would think maybe trying to become active in anything he does in school would help you to make friends with other moms. It would probably take a wile with you being shy but sometimes for your own sanity you will have to just put yourself out there. I wish you all the luck and if you want maybe we could start talking through email and try to get to know each other a little bit til I get out that way and we can maybe solve a problem for both of us. And people have also accused me of looking like a snob too. Once you get to know me you realize thats not me at all. Hope to talk to you soon. K.

A.,

No one could accuse me of being shy - at this point in my life. At one time I was and it was becuase I was worried about sounding stupid or being rude. Well, I found out that if I asked other people about how they were, what they were doing or what they enjoyed I wouldn't have to talk as much. It's hard to go out on a limb, but you can't reach another 'tree' if you don't! Try smiling at people at the grocery store and asking them how they are today. If they snub you then at least you'll never see them again! If they don't you can have a quick conversation and get used to chatting with people you don't know. It's a good way to start. Sherry (the second response you got) gave some great advice as well. The main thing is, you've gotta try. If you wanna chat I'm ____@____.com luck!

Hi A., well I understand where you are coming from. I used to be and am still a little bit like that. I'm not trying to solicit but I am a Mary Kay consultant and a good way to meet some new women since your son is older and in school is to maybe have a facial party and invite other women. Maybe from church or your son's school or your husband's friends wives. It's a good way to open up and start talking. I'm now in MK and have met so many women this way through doing facials or just my MK sisters. It a close nit sister hood that I've always looked for. Where else can you go and get together with out thinking that your being judged. It's just a thought and I hope I can help. I know how it is to not have any friends and stay at home. It get lonely and very depressing. If you can't think of anyone you would like to have get together than I would be happy to meet with you to facial you and just make you feel good about yourself if at least for that day.

About me I'm a stay at home mom of a 3 yr old, 18 month old and 6 months preganant. My husband is in the Army and I'm a Mary Kay consultant.