melissa, i understand your plight, i am a mom of three, but wanted two, ahahah or we stopped at two, but three came along any way, i wanted four, if i had three, but had interuterin cancer and could not have that fourth, it was difficult, but our experience with three, was not all that was cracked up to be, after three, i felt weaker, i could not do as much it really wore me down, however dont get me wrong i love our third child and i woudl not trade it for anything, however we took our kids to disney, and we could not do as much as we wanted to , they would not let us stay in the disney hotels, unless we purchased two rooms, they only allowed four in the rooms, they were too young to do that, however, we did get to find a cool hotel holiday inn kid suites, i know im not giving you any information as to not, but it is nice with two, and its nice with three, it is great to see them interact, it also is a pain to watch them fight and not get along, you have pros and cons in any situation of any number of children, the most important thing is that children like you said can be afforded and most of all loved, your husband takes a toll on him every time he has to watch you go through all that pain, and its great he loves you so, most men dont want children, i think his love for you is shining through loud and clear, enjoy his love and understand his side, if you understand his side and say i just need you to talk to me about it ? and not just say no, i need to entertain that idea, and i may not be able to handle it, etc, but please can we talk about it, who knows, you need to show him you can do this, and that you appreciate his support, and listen to his side so he can then listen to you , the best love a child can have is to have both parents love them, if you push another child on him how sad for him to always feel left out and never love that child , for that child took sooo much away , you need to make sure, he is ready, and its both decisions, i totally understand, but hear him out, and have him at least entertain the idea, it may change, his view, and it may not, but life is good, and he dont want to do anything to mess it up , that is a stable man, and he is afraid it wont be the same, just enjoy life and i hope things work out, D. s