Looking for Good Clean Jokes

My daughter came up with a joke when she was 4 and it still makes me laugh 4 yrs later.
Why did the sock cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing it.

yep it's bad but it still makes me laugh
And this one from Bill Engvall
Makes me ROFLMAO everytime I hear it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqHPqTDHxJs

This is my only joke! What do you call a dear with no eyes? No eye dear. What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye dear. Haha.

A string goes into a bar...
Bartender says," we dont serve strings here'.....a bit later, the string feeling VERY offended, returns.
Bartender says, "I TOLD you, we dont serve strings here!!!"
String leaves and gives it some thought.....hmmm?.... he tied himself into a knot and fraid the top of his hair....he returned to the bar...
Bartender says, "I SAID...WE DONT SERVE STRINGS!!!!"
String says..."No, I'm not a string..I'm afraid not", "I'll have a beer"

Stupid, I know.

OK...one more...

A kindly old couple come into an inherited parrot. This particular parrot curses like a sailor. "Baak, ****, you***, baak!!' The old man tries and tries to keep this trash mouth from talking...to no avail.
One Sunday, while serving brunch to their church friends...the parrot GOES OFF!!! "baaak, ****,****.and**** to you too!!!"
The old man was SOOO embarrassed!!! He threw the parrot in the freezer!!!!
Sometime later, the old man calmed down and took the parrot out and put him back in his cage....there was complete and utter silence.
The dog walked up and asked the parrot, "what gives? why are so quiet?"...Parrot says, "Be cool man, did you see what they did to the chicken and the turkey!?!"

Hardy, har har har!!!!
:)

How do catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do catch a tame rabbit? The tame way. Unique up on it. :)

There is a lady in Tiffany's looking at a nice ring. She bends down to look at the ring, while doing so she passed gas, she turned around in a panic to see if anyone heard her. While standing up she saw an employee walking her way, so she ask the employee, "Sir, how much for this ring?" The employee responded, "Ma'am if you passed gas just looking at it, you are going to sh*t when I tell you the price."

LOL..I know ha ha, thats the best that I got.

Maybe cause I'm a math geek, but this stupid joke will always be one of my favorites:

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.

This is a dumb one but it made me LOL when I heard it 15 years ago...LOL

A woman was driving home from the store and hit a rabbit. She felt horrible and pulled over to see if she could help it. She had heard that if you pour something on it that it can revive just about anything but she couldn't remember what you were suppose to pour on it. So she just reached into her grocery bag and grabbed her shampoo. She poured it on the rabbit and got back in her car. She noticed that the rabbit stood up by the road and started waving. She thought it was strange and drove home. Her husband came home and said that he saw the strangest thing. A rabbit standing on the side of the road waving. She told him what happened and he said "Let me see what you poured on the rabbit." She showed him the shampoo and he read the bottle. It said "Permanent wave for damaged hair!"

Did you hear about the fireman who named his son Jose?

Then he had another son.
He named him Hose B!

Q: What do you get when cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
A: elephino

And I laughed at Beth's daughter's joke because my daughter came up with something similar this summer...she asked why the frog crossed the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken. LOL, kids come up with the funniest things sometimes.

What's Lassie's favorite vegetable? Collieflower

Type in 'Tim Hawkins' on Utube- the man is absolutely hilarious. He has viedoes on his website that you can purchase.

What goes clomp, clomp, clomp, SQUISH, clomp, clomp, clomp, SQUISH ??

An elephant with one wet tennis shoe!

What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.

If you have an android phone there is an app called 'Jokes for Kids' that I LOVE! It is just TOO funny lol.

I drive Amish in Northern Indiana and they tell the funniest jokes. I heard this one last week.
Did you catch the amish flu this year..? first you get a little horse then you get a little buggy..

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party?

'Cause he's a party pooper!

Why do cows wear bells?....

because their horns don't work ;)

Two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other muffin and says "it sure is hot in here". The other muffin say....."Aghhhhh a talking muffin!"

That's all I've got :)

how will we know who Adam and Eve are when we get to Heaven?

What is a hawk's favorite dessert?

Knock Knock
who's there?
Boo
boo who?
why are you cryin, I was just tellin a joke

first answer... they are the only ones without bellybuttons!!!! haha
second answer... mice cream!!! LOL

Hi A.,
Here are two that make us laugh.....

Why wont sharks eat clowns?........because they look funny!

What did the snail say when it got on the turtles back?........Wooohooo!

Have a great day! Thanks for the laughs!

This is semi-clean, so read on at your discretion. When you get your tonsils out, it's a tonsillectomy. When you get your appendix out, it's an appendectomy. What do they call it when you change from a woman to a man? Addadictomy!