Looking for Advice Regarding Me Getting "Tied" or Him "Getting "Snipped" :-)

You've gone through pregnancy 3 times & about to deliver for the 3rd time - let him make the trip to the Dr! Like all the others have said, much easier recovery for him! My husband just had it done 2 weeks ago & is fine!!!

1 mom found this helpful

I said the same thing after the third that if I had a c section I would have them tie my tubes. Well I had my last naturally so it didn't happen. My husband had a vasectomy over 2 yrs ago. The day of the procedure he was sore, but he was able to go back to work 2 days later with no problems. Let hubby do it. We go thru the pain of labor, let them feel a bit of pain!!! lol Seriously though, it is a bigger procedure for a woman than a man and you can't do any lifting for 6 weeks after. So, if you have kids 2 carry around, it's really not an option. Good luck with your 3rd!!!!

I had my tubes tied after my last child was born (natural birth). It was terrible!! I was in a lot of pain, they sent me home too soon (Monday - baby, Tuesday - tubes tied, Wednsday - went home! However, what they don't tell you is that your periods DO changes. I have spoken (since then) to many women who had their tubes tied and we all have several things in common (which the Drs don't tell you about) Problem periods, heavier, more and worse PMS, symtoms of menopause like some weight gain, moodiness and hot flashes. Depression, severe in some people. If you want my advice - DONT DO IT!! Send your husband, he'll be sore for a few days and then he'll be fine, I've never met a man who had a problem afterwards.

I. like you just had my 3rd child and was planning on a "tubal" IF I had a c-section. I had a vaginal delivery so NO c and no tubal. My husband is going to be "snipped". It is much easier for them and no effect to your period. Just be warned it takes at least a month before it is "safe" to not use a second for of birth control after the procedure! A.

I had my tubes tied after the c-section birth of my daughter. I heard that you get more painful periods after that, but I've experienced no difference in the pain department. My periods are heavier and a day or so longer, but that could simply be from the way your body changes from having kids. Other then that I haven't noticed any differences. I have found that people tend to blame their pains on having their tubes tied. They seem to forget the fact that they had a baby. Just having your tubes tied isn't going to make a difference in your body. They don't remove any "parts" they just "close the roads". Having a baby is what is causing the changes in their bodies.

Hi D.,

For all medical reasons, you should really have your husband be the one to get snipped instead of you.

First Off, I tried to get my tubes tied when I had my last child. Yes, I had a C-Section, but he states that medically it is not a good idea to have both surgeries done at the same time, and in fact he even has a policy that he will never tie after a c-setion. I've come to find that a lot of doctors feel this way and will not do both surgeries at the same time.

Furthermore, it is WAY LESS invasive for your husband to have it done than for you. If you two are happy, plan to have a long relationship, and don't want any more children, please have him research into getting the little snip.

My boyfriend is snipped and actually did it during his first marriage. He said it was the best decision based on the pain tolerance and the recovery time. Also the after effects for a man are a lot less so it made since in every mannor.

Have your husband look into it further before you decide to get tied. There is less recovery time, it is less invasive, plus his can be reversed easier than yours can if decision down the line change.

I have 3 children and my husband finally went for the "snip snip" 4 years after our third child was born! Anyway, he decided on his own since I'm the one who went through childbirth. He was told the recovery would be about 3 days. Now almost 6 months later and still having discomfort he was going out of his mind and wished he could turn back time. So after going back to the doctor several times the doctor found a hernia. Can you believe all this time he was kicking himself thinking he would have pain the rest of his life -- now is on the road to recovery. What were the chances of him having a hernia the same time he was snipped. After that being said -- he is happy now that he had it done.

Hi D., We just had our 4th child and went through the same discussions. When I spoke to my dr. he said he rarely does tubals anymore because it is so easy for the man to have a vasectomy. It is an hour procedure in the dr. office and then he needs to take it easy for a few days. My husband did great, only very mild discomfort Only needed tylenol 1 time. If you didnt have a c-section, you would have to have anesthesia. It is a much bigger deal for you. Good Luck with your decision.

Many insurance companies will no longer cover having a c-section & your tubes tied done at the same time so you better check w/your insurance company 1st.

I had my tubes tied 3 years ago about 4 months after the birth of my 3rd child. I have not experienced more painful periods & they actually have been lighter since having the procedure. However, the recovery period was not fun! When they do the laproscopy, the blow air into your body to spparate the fallopian tubes from wherever they are attached to. That air travels up through your body & settles in your shoulders. I could barely lift my arms which was a bit of a problem since I had an infant to take care of. This lasted a few days & was pretty painful. Also, my belly button kept geting infected for a while & I had to keep cleaning it w/peroxide a couple of times a day. That being said, I am still glad I had the procedure done even though my husband was more than willing to have a vasectomy. The way I figured, no matter what, I NEVER want to have any more children. Too old!!! But, if something were to happen to me & my husband remarried, his new wife might want to have children w/him. (Not that I'm expecting anything to happen to me...just in case!)

Good luck!

I had my tubes tied many years ago (almost 27 years!). I had just given birth to twins naturally and we had decided since I was already there, why not? I didn't have any problems with the surgery or healing afterwords. I also never noticed any difference in my periods. All I ended up with is a small incision just below my belly button (which I can hardly find now). There was no pain at all from the surgery. It was almost as if nothing happened. But I have to tell you it was such a relief that I could no longer get pregnant! I had 5 kids and definitely did not want any more.

Keep in mind when someone is about to have any medical procedure they will be flooded with all the horror stories. They seldom hear the stories of how easy it was. This is why I wanted you to hear my story. It was piece of cake. And one of the best decisions of my life!

not sure if you had any of this advice. there are a couple of options. if you are able to talk to your ob/gyn you could try assure. it is done in the office and it is coils that go in your tubes and in 3 months you should grow scar tissue. you will get a sono done to make sure of that. in the mean time you have to use protection. For him talk to a urologist I believe i also am not sure where you live and ask him to discuss the new vasectomy without needles or scalpel. Or look in the phone book again where you live and read under physician section for urologist and see who does not scalpel vasectomy. for that to you will have to use protection until he has become having blanks. Good luck.

I posted a request not too long ago entitled "birth control" where I asked about tube tying...I received helpful information. Look for that request...

husband just had a vasectomy 2 months ago. simple 45 min procedure in office. mild pain for 2-3 days. let him do it!

here's my thing...can't the men get snipped since we bend over backward to carry and deliver these children??? I say make him get snipped! Just my opinion!
L.

Hi D.! I was in much the same situation that you find yourself in now. I opted to have my tubes tied after giving birth to my second daughter. The only thing that I would suggest is that if you do this, try to have them do the surgury right after you deliver. Sometimes they need to use air to "inflate" the area to see what they are doing. One of the side effects of this air is that you get internal gas pains. It is not the kind of gas that you can "pass", it just needs to diffuse. I ended up with pain up in my shoulder from the air traveling between my organs and muscles. It was painful, but pressure to the area usually relieved it until it was finally gone. Other from that though, it was an easy recovery. It has really put my mind at ease not having to worry about becoming pregnant again. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but I knew that I was done having any more. I hope this helps you with your decision. Good Luck!! J.

I had my tubes tied when my second son was born via c-section. Yes, it is easier to do it all at once (and another friend of mine actually had it done after he second son was born vaginally - it can be done laproscopically), especially if you already have an epidural.

My periods haven't been more painful, but they have been heavier (although how much of that is the fact that I'm over 40?). But, I didn't have painful periods before birth control, either, so that may be part of it. Have a chat with your OB, and try to remember what it was like before you were concerned about birth control...

HTH
L.

I would look at the Essure procedure. www.essure.com My OB/GYN told me they are now doing them in office. A friend had it done and was completely fine during and after the procedure. I too, am "done" but not mentally ready for having my tubes tied by an means so am scheduled for the Mirena IUD next week. Best part is my insurance is fully covering the IUD so no more monthly payouts for BC pills! Lots of options, no need to rush!

Hi D., I would surely have him do it. Mine went and had the surgery and it is much easier for a man than a women. Every women I know that had it done now says they wish they would of had the man get fixed, because they have terrible (side effects) extremely heavy bleeding, painful periods. good luck with your choice.

My husband got "snipped" this spring and it is great. His recovery was not that bad and the procedure is 1/2 hour. He was sore and swollen for a couple of days but has had no lasting side effects. I have recovered from a c-section which is a long recovery and something I would not wish on anyone if they did not need it.

easier for him then you. general anethesia for you...office visit for him. however, make sure that if...god forbid...you died tomorrow and he met someone else would he want more children. this is how i posed it to my husband. mine said no, because he didn't want to start all over again. but if the woman already had kids of her own, it was fine. so he had the surgery because of his response. he also looked it up to see the differenes between him and me and what it would entail. warning. make sure that the urologist snips, knots and cortorizes...so there's no turning back...if that's what you are both looking for.
good luck

Hi D.,
Getting a tubal ligation is surgery and you can have pain in your recovery. I didn't have pain or anything that I considerd a recovery period after my births, so I would never have considered doing it then even if I knew I was "done." You may want to consider whether you want to be recovering from a surgery, even a minor one, with two active children and a new baby.
Good luck with your decision.

Hello D.,
I was pregnant with my 4th when I decided this was my last. I did get my tubes tied, it is said to be easier to "heal" while recovering from childbirth. Recovery is quite a bit more difficult and more painful, but not that bad - I've had all 4 naturally.
Periods are another thing, but I'm not sure if thats because of my body changing with each child, or because of having my tubes tied, but cramps feel like early back labor for about 2 days. (I had this with 2)
If I had it to do again, I would have him get "altered" instead of me.
I asked about weight gain before I had it done, and was told that it was laziness that was the cause, but everyone I ever spoke to about it blamed it on being "fixed".

HERE IS MY PREGNANCY STORIES:, my son was an oops baby. I didn't know I was pregnant until I got to the hospital (because I was in labor). I only gained 7 lbs with him. I had started getting stomach pains on Monday night after work, didn't sleep, took off college on Tuesday, went to college on Wednesday had to ask my dad to pick me up, because I was miserable, he took me to the gastronoligist, and he said it felt like a tumor. He had ordered all sorts of tests for me for Thursday morning. Well Wednesday night it was my lil sister's DARE Graduation, the whole family went. My boyfriend at the time, (now husband) and my mom came home and saw the pain I was in, so they took me to the hospital.
I had worked at a doctor's office and the nurse from my office was the nurse on duty that night. She came in and saw how I was easing in and out of pain, she asked me if I was pregnant, I said no. She took my blood, a little while later she came in and told me I was pregnant. I was mortified, embarrassed, scared. It was a true shock. The doctor came in to examine me and I was 8 1/2 cm dilated. They brought my mom and bf in the room and told them. My mom was strong for me b/c I was so scared. My bf almost passed out. They had to rush me to another hospital,they had to do an emergency c-section because he was stuck in my pelvic bone and at 5:49am on May 16, 2002, Michael was born.
2nd story...
I was very content with just my son Michael. My daughter Mikayla is 4 months old. I was on a diet and lost 22 lbs pregnant. Three weeks before I had her, I decided to jump in the shower, so Eddie joined me, we don't do that too often, he said to me that my stomach looked funky, was I feeling ok, I felt fine, so I blew it off. Once I was dressed, he told me that he thought I was pregnant, I told him he was nuts, but to appease him I made a Dr. appt. for April 3rd. (So my appointment is for this Friday coming, on March 29th is when I started having all of the pain.) Okay so we were at McDonald's eating dinner and about 6pm, I had this funny feeling in my belly. At 7pm I got the same feeling just a little stronger, at 9:30 I was in a lot of pain, but still tolerable. At 10:30 I was sitting on the bed with my hands behind my back crying my eyes out, because I couldn't take the pain anymore, so I called my mom and asked her if we could bring Michael over so Eddie could take me to the hospital, she asked me what was wrong, and I told her that Eddie thought I was in labor. I told Eddie on the way to the hospital, that if he was right I didn't want another baby, so I would seriously want to consider adoption, god was I wrong.
He took me to the hospital, after an hour and a 1/2 of me screaming in the ER, they finally took me in to be seen...they gave me morphine, before they tested my blood. About an hour passed and they came in and tested my blood. A few minutes later the nurse came in and told me I was pregnant. Eddie was with me, sure enough he was right, (god I hate when he's right lol). The Dr came in to check me out and I was 5 1/2 cm dilated. They took me up for an ultrasound and the tech, wouldn't do it, because he was afraid I was going to pop on the table. As Eddie walked down the hall towards me, he heard the Dr say get her up to L&D immediately. Edie called my mom, so her and my sister came to the hospital. They got there at 3am, and at 3:05 the Dr. came in and took me. Again I had to have a c-section. At 3:35am Mikayla was born. I had to go through all of the feelings of embarrassment and post partum and everything else mixed in, again. Once I saw my princess I was hooked on her like glue.
I have two crazy yet amazing stories, but I have the most joyous feeling of having a prince and a princess, even though I wasn't ready for either one of them

Now my dilemma...my doctor wants my husband to get snipped for my benefit he says my body has been through enough, but the insurance company has denied it, I really don't want to have my tubes tied, but I don't know what else I can do.

I had my tubes tied after the birth of our son. I have had very heavy bleeding with my periods now and have heard that from quite a few people. Recovery time was much quicker now than it was when I had my first child. Back then they cut a much larger hole. My first husband had a vasectomy and he only had discomfort for a couple of days. Good luck with your decision.

I had 2 c-sections and the thought crossed my mind that while I was opened, just snip away. But, I was more aware of everything they were doing and every second, felt like a minute and every minute felt like an hour. They asked me if I'd like it done and I said no, just close me up.

My husband and I did talk about it before and he said it was up to me (since he saw what I went thru the first time and knowing I was going to have a second one). Well, without even asking him about it, 4 months after my daughter was born, he got it done. He spoke to many friends who had it done too and they said the worst part was the first shot. After that, it was easy (well, much easier than what we go thru).

He did get it done and hasn't had any complaints what so ever.

My Hubby and I had the same discussion. We agreed that if I had a C-section, I'd get fixed. If not, then he would get snipped. I had the section and the tubal at the same time. It's major surgery, a vasectomy is an outpatient proceedure. He'd be okay after a weekend. You'll need about 6 weeks to recover.

Some of the decision has to be who is more ready to be done with having kids. While a vasectomy is easier to do, it is harder to undo. If something tragic were to happen to you and the kids, would he want children with his next wife? How about you? If you were suddenly alone, and remarried would you want children again? Something to think about...

Have you thought about a Mirena IUD instead? It's done in a few minutes and lasts 5 years. My sister-in-law is a doctor and she told me a lot of people are now choosing them over having sterilization, as they are as effective and you can forget all about it but are reversible if any circumstances should change or you just change your mind.
I have one and went from having bad heavy periods to much lighter ones plus less PMT.
Just a thought.

Check with your ob/gyn first. When I asked mine about getting my tubes tied at my delivery 3 weeks ago, my ob/gyn suggested some IUD birth control devices. They can be inserted for years and then taken out whenever necessary. It just seemed less final then having my tubes tied. There is one that has no hormones so ask about that one. I will find out more at my 6 week appointment but am very glad that I didn't have my tubes tied.

My husband had a vasectomy about 18 years ago. It was a simple procedure with very little recovery. The decision for us was easy. It was a matter of me having to recover and my husband having to take care of the house, and two kids. Or him having the surgery and being laid up for a few days. As long as your husband does what he should and that is to rest, apply ice, and take it easy for a few days he should be fine. I know so many of my friends who have had terrible periods after having their tubes tied and were uncomfortable for a few days. I think it's the least they can do after all we have gone though child birth!! Good luck with the wonderful new addition to your family.

My husband was snipped about 7 years ago. It's a very simple procedure. Have your husband discuss it with his doctor.

Hi D., I had my tubes tied after child #5. He was born naturally and the surgery was done the next day. I did stay in the hospital for a few days. I did not have any trouble with periods (more than before) but only enjoyed a lovely freedom. You will have to sign something because I do not think it is reversable. Follow your heart.My best, Grandma Mary

D. - After my 3rd child, my husband decided to get the V done. I was not going to have my tubes tied - I refused, I also heard it is more painful and the healing process is longer. Needless to say it has been 3 years since my husbands decision to do it and it has been great. He was out of work for 1 day and had the procedure done in the doctors office - it really was not a big deal. The worry about getting preg again is not there and sex is even better! All the best and good luck! A.

I would get the man snipped if that is what you and your husband are deciding. I myself just deliverd 3 weeks ago with my third and my husband and I have discussed him getting a vascetomy. He agreed but then both of us started thinking and I researched for hours and days and decided to get a IUD(mirena). I decided to do the IUD instead of him getting snipped due to the fact that both of us have no idea what can happen in the future in regards to relationships. What if at any age we decide we don't want to be together and he or I want to start a new family..He wouldn't be able to. Plus I work for a insurance company and the procedure for him is in the office and less than 45 minutes with a 2-3 day recovery with some cold ice packs he will be fine. Good Luck with number 3@!

Women do enough when it comes to children...delivery, bf, etc. I say have hubby go for the vasectomy. MUCH less invasive than a tubal. Less chances for complications, etc, etc. Good luck with your new baby!

It's by far simpler for a man but usually a macho thing for them to get over. Discuss it with your medic and go from there.