Lonely 10 Year Old

Updated on April 07, 2007
C.G. asks from Bakersfield, CA
6 answers

My 10 year old has 2 friends that he likes to play with a lot but does not have any other friends. I was talking to one of them the other day while taking him home and I gently probed about who everyone plays with at school. He told me that sometimes my son walks around by himself. It is usually while the other kids are playing some kind of sports. My son is not into playing sports as he has had a joint problem since he was two and played very little. I am not sure how encourage him to interact better with the boys. They all respond well to him, whenever I am around, so I am sure that it has more to do with him feeling insecure about not playing sports real well. Can anyone give me ideas on how to help him be less insecure?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm no expert but my first instinct would be to enroll him in some sort of individual sport like swimming, karate or something where the competitive aspect is taken out... kids can be rotten when picking teams and ...even if picked, it's no secret how bummed they are when one kicks or hits the ball poorly... doing something independent where he isn't competing with others could be the confidence and strength builder he needs to set him up for junior high and high school where team sports are more of a thing...

even then, he may choose track and field or something that isn't team oriented... the important thing is that he does get that exercise and confidence!

good luck!

good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Fresno on

My son is the same exact way and he is 10 too. It is so hard. He cannot play many sports because he has a heart defect and he is not allowed to play contact sports. Have you tried maybe putting in Cub Scouts? We don't really have a Cub Scout pack in our area so we decided not to do it. My son too has a very caring and giving heart. I know it isn't easy, but at least he does a few friends that care. So does my son which makes it a bit easier for him.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Visalia on

I definately second the boy scouts or maybe something at the local YMCA?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

C.,

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Your son will most likely out grow it. When my son was young and right up until his sophomore year in school, he usually only had one or two friends who he spent any time with. One lived in our neighborhood and the other went to a different school (they met playing little league). My son was often called a "loner" and would sit by himself at school, away from everyone, listening to music on his headphones. Unlike your son, mine has always played sports in and outside of school (even when I homeschooled him for two years), but he would only choose to spend time with other kids when he wanted to.

He started becoming more social at the end of his freshman year when his hormones motivated him to start spending time with girls. Now, at 18, he's a social butterfly who is constantly on the go with a variety of friends that he seems to meet no matter where he goes: club dancing, concerts, beach bonfires, snowboarding, at work, and on myspace.

Just continue to be encouraging, but don't push. Help him find things he likes: reading, art, music, photography, writing or whatever he seems to have an interest and/or aptitude for and find a way to get involved with a group (or start one) that will allow him to meet kids who like doing the same thing.

Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear C.,

Well, for one thing, you need to talk to the Principal and or the Physical Education teacher or just his Teacher. They will have an idea about how to involve Keoni in sports with out him playing. Someone has to be the 'team' manager, or help with the equipment, or some such thing so that he can be involved.

Also, if you possibly can get him started playing a musical instrument. That will give him a place to be with other students where they can develop a bond of friendship.

Good luck, I pray that you can find something that he is interested in and wants to participate in. Keep looking and asking and trying to help him find his niche in life. Sincerely, C. N.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.A.

answers from San Francisco on

see if you can find some kind of club for him outside of school, like boy scouts or some kind of class through your local park and rec like art or music. I am sure there are a lot of different activities that he could join (i have a girl so I only know girl stuff). What about swimming, has he tried that as a sport? Its very easy on joints! Plus your on a team, yet compete indiviually!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches