54 answers

Little Boys with Long Hair

My three year old son (who is the height of a 4 1/2 year old) has very long blond hair. By very long, I mean about 2 inches below his shoulders. My husband and I both think his hair is beautiful and can't bear to cut it (although we have given him the option before and he says no). It totally fits his surfer boy style and his personality. We live at the beach in California, so it's more "acceptable" here to have a little boy with long hair. However, occasionally someone will say to me "you need to cut your son's hair!". I don't like it when other moms tell me what I NEED to do. Yes, my son's hair is long. Yes, his face is beautiful (he's a very pretty boy). So, YES he might look like a girl. But the clothes he wears are very boyish. Skater shorts and shirts with motorcycles on it--- those kind of things. He's almost always dressed in black or blue. And yet when people think he's a girl, I always just tell them (politely) that he's a boy and I understand the mix up... happens all the time etc. Sometimes they say "oh my! what a beautiful boy! I just thought he was a girl because he's so pretty! His hair is awesome!". Sometimes, however, moms seem to get mad at me. Like my son having long hair is somehow an inconvenience for them because they thought he might be a girl with tomboy clothes on. What's with the judgement of a 3 yera old? It's very frustrating.

Arn't we past these extreme gender stereotypes yet? Heaven forbid some mom told a another mom that she should let her little girl's hair grow longer because she looks like a boy....

Do any of you have little boys with long hair?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wow. What a hot button topic. I just posted this a couple of hours ago and already have loads of response. I guess I wanted to see if there are people who really believe that strongly about it and apparently there are! To each his own, I guess. Although I can't imagine holding my children back from expressing their own identities if it came to that--- and why fight with them over hair? My son likes his hair now and if he wants to change it he may. Purple, blue, long, short. Whatever. We never tie it back or put anything in it--- that would just seem like I was trying to make him look like a girl. If he needs to get his hair away from his face we just put a hat on!
To the parents that WOULDN'T LET their boys have long hair: what other little details in their lives will you try to control? You can't hold a child's personality in without damaging them...
And to the poster who suggested that my son's long hair might eventually lead to him being gay: I'm not going to tell you how absurd that comment is. Do you really think that's what makes people gay? And IF my son were to tell me that he was gay later in his life--- that's just fine by me! I gave birth to him---- I love him just the way he is- no matter the gender of the person he loves. geez. and the grandkids thing? seriously? homosexuals can have kids--- I know alot of them. I find it hard to believe you don't know this...

Thanks everyone who has commented. I am not offended when someone thinks my son is a girl- I usually just laugh it off. He is so "boy" to me (always filthy and jumping off of something-- crashing into the world without much care..) that I just can't see him in that feminine light. However, just for a reference, he looks almost exactly like Cindy Crawford's son (i googled) when he was younger.

Featured Answers

So what you like he likes it whats the problem.Just let others say their comments & you can either mouth off or walk away.

I don't have a boy with long hair, but my MIL is constantly telling me to cut my daughter's long hair (my mom is too by the way!). My point is, do what you like because there will always be someone with an opinion either way!!! Sounds adorable .

Nope, no long hair here. My boys start telling me when they need hair cuts - the DO NOT like their hair touching their ears.

what does it matter what someone else thinks anyway? If you can care for his hair and when he's old enough to care for it - then it's fine.

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I really could care less how anyone styles their children's hair. What really tweaks my melons about some moms who let their son's hair grow out is that they get soooo angry when you ask how old is she or any question that indicates your opinion of gender.

Sorry but tomboys exist, I was one. I had long hair but I dressed in jeans and tshirts. If your child has long hair people are going to think they are a girl so stop snapping at us! Your boys look like girls, ya know? (that was intended to moms who snap at others not the OP specifically since I don't know if she snaps)

6 moms found this helpful

I disagree with every response so far. I'm "with the times", and I think everyone should be able to express themselves, however, the long hair on a boy is on my list of what not to do. I would never look at a stranger and tell them they need to cut their childs hair, but it's such a turn off. My 3 yr old son will always have short, boy appropriate, hair. I could not bear the thought of others thinking he was a girl.

6 moms found this helpful

Honestly, I would be thinking about how the long hair would affect my child's self esteem. I know he's only 3, but do you plan to leave it long for a long time? Kids can be kinda mean about stuff like that. At our church, there's a woman who has a young son with long blonde hair, and I thought he was a girl for the longest time! He looks JUST like a girl. I was shocked to find out he was a boy and then, call me guilty, I did SILENTLY judge the Mom for doing that. (geezus, I would never say anything out loud about it though! People are so Rude!) Sure, his hair was gorgeous, but... you're not the one that has to deal with the stares, the comments, etc. HE is. And what is the benefit in exchange for that sacrifice? I just can't see that it's worth it.

3 moms found this helpful

Yeah, sorry....I'm in the camp that thinks that little boys should look like little boys.

However...I would NEVER comment to you about your son's hair. To each their own.

My son will never have long hair (at least, until I have bigger frish to fry with him). But that's just me. I dress mine in little plaid shorts every day becuase I think they're adorable. Many people hate them and roll their eyes. They seem to have a problem with it, then they can find a way to deal with it. Period.

Don't let it get to you. If someone tells you to cut his hair - I'd point blank look at them and ask why. Then stand there staring at them until they give you an explanation....or change the subject. :)

2 moms found this helpful

So long as you don't get upset when people mistake him for a girl, it's up to you. I don't think people should comment or get mad. They may not agree with your choice but geez - to get mad? Seems silly. I have seen mothers seem to be offended though when someone is confused that their son with long hair is a girl and that's silly too. No one is intentionally making the mistake. My daughter kept referring to a little boy with long hair as a girl and I was embarrassed but he did look like a girl... So if that mom was annoyed, I feel that's her problem. If she laughs it off like you do, then who cares?...

2 moms found this helpful

No. I've always had my son in short hair and he likes it that way.
I know someone who has a 3 yr old boy and he had long black curls down to his waist.
Everyone thought he was a girl.
He looks better now that they've cut it.
I know another boy with hair down past his shoulders.
His hair would be ok if he'd take care of it.
It looks like blond greasy rat tails and it's just not an attractive look but I think his Mom's sort of forcing it on him.

2 moms found this helpful

I see no need to cut it, but I live in Hawaii. My daughter goes to school with a 6 year old that hair to his waist. It is a cultural thing.

Perhaps those angry moms are so because they can't be bothered with caring for a girl with long hair let alone a boy with one!

We are military and my husband woulds be MORTIFIED if my sons had long hair, so we have to cut our sons hair.

2 moms found this helpful

We all have our preferences. I don't think there's anything wrong with some social stereotypes.

I have raised 3 girls with one more at home. So having a grandson of my own is all new territory for me. I have had boys in my daycare for 25 years though. The one boy that ever had long hair did raise a ruckus. He was a bit strange in his behavior at first anyway. After having him a few years he calmed down and my other mothers made a lot of comments about how normal he had become while in my care. Eventually this mother cut his hair and between his normal behavior and the new hair, he was such a handsome young man!

My husband has let his hair grow out and I hate it. I really, really, super duper, HATE it. Our anniversary is today and frankly I could care less. It's none of my business how you raise your son. But I'm still free to hate long hair on a boy.

2 moms found this helpful

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