54 answers

Little Boys with Long Hair

My three year old son (who is the height of a 4 1/2 year old) has very long blond hair. By very long, I mean about 2 inches below his shoulders. My husband and I both think his hair is beautiful and can't bear to cut it (although we have given him the option before and he says no). It totally fits his surfer boy style and his personality. We live at the beach in California, so it's more "acceptable" here to have a little boy with long hair. However, occasionally someone will say to me "you need to cut your son's hair!". I don't like it when other moms tell me what I NEED to do. Yes, my son's hair is long. Yes, his face is beautiful (he's a very pretty boy). So, YES he might look like a girl. But the clothes he wears are very boyish. Skater shorts and shirts with motorcycles on it--- those kind of things. He's almost always dressed in black or blue. And yet when people think he's a girl, I always just tell them (politely) that he's a boy and I understand the mix up... happens all the time etc. Sometimes they say "oh my! what a beautiful boy! I just thought he was a girl because he's so pretty! His hair is awesome!". Sometimes, however, moms seem to get mad at me. Like my son having long hair is somehow an inconvenience for them because they thought he might be a girl with tomboy clothes on. What's with the judgement of a 3 yera old? It's very frustrating.

Arn't we past these extreme gender stereotypes yet? Heaven forbid some mom told a another mom that she should let her little girl's hair grow longer because she looks like a boy....

Do any of you have little boys with long hair?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wow. What a hot button topic. I just posted this a couple of hours ago and already have loads of response. I guess I wanted to see if there are people who really believe that strongly about it and apparently there are! To each his own, I guess. Although I can't imagine holding my children back from expressing their own identities if it came to that--- and why fight with them over hair? My son likes his hair now and if he wants to change it he may. Purple, blue, long, short. Whatever. We never tie it back or put anything in it--- that would just seem like I was trying to make him look like a girl. If he needs to get his hair away from his face we just put a hat on!
To the parents that WOULDN'T LET their boys have long hair: what other little details in their lives will you try to control? You can't hold a child's personality in without damaging them...
And to the poster who suggested that my son's long hair might eventually lead to him being gay: I'm not going to tell you how absurd that comment is. Do you really think that's what makes people gay? And IF my son were to tell me that he was gay later in his life--- that's just fine by me! I gave birth to him---- I love him just the way he is- no matter the gender of the person he loves. geez. and the grandkids thing? seriously? homosexuals can have kids--- I know alot of them. I find it hard to believe you don't know this...

Thanks everyone who has commented. I am not offended when someone thinks my son is a girl- I usually just laugh it off. He is so "boy" to me (always filthy and jumping off of something-- crashing into the world without much care..) that I just can't see him in that feminine light. However, just for a reference, he looks almost exactly like Cindy Crawford's son (i googled) when he was younger.

Featured Answers

So what you like he likes it whats the problem.Just let others say their comments & you can either mouth off or walk away.

I don't have a boy with long hair, but my MIL is constantly telling me to cut my daughter's long hair (my mom is too by the way!). My point is, do what you like because there will always be someone with an opinion either way!!! Sounds adorable .

Nope, no long hair here. My boys start telling me when they need hair cuts - the DO NOT like their hair touching their ears.

what does it matter what someone else thinks anyway? If you can care for his hair and when he's old enough to care for it - then it's fine.

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I really could care less how anyone styles their children's hair. What really tweaks my melons about some moms who let their son's hair grow out is that they get soooo angry when you ask how old is she or any question that indicates your opinion of gender.

Sorry but tomboys exist, I was one. I had long hair but I dressed in jeans and tshirts. If your child has long hair people are going to think they are a girl so stop snapping at us! Your boys look like girls, ya know? (that was intended to moms who snap at others not the OP specifically since I don't know if she snaps)

6 moms found this helpful

I disagree with every response so far. I'm "with the times", and I think everyone should be able to express themselves, however, the long hair on a boy is on my list of what not to do. I would never look at a stranger and tell them they need to cut their childs hair, but it's such a turn off. My 3 yr old son will always have short, boy appropriate, hair. I could not bear the thought of others thinking he was a girl.

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Honestly, I would be thinking about how the long hair would affect my child's self esteem. I know he's only 3, but do you plan to leave it long for a long time? Kids can be kinda mean about stuff like that. At our church, there's a woman who has a young son with long blonde hair, and I thought he was a girl for the longest time! He looks JUST like a girl. I was shocked to find out he was a boy and then, call me guilty, I did SILENTLY judge the Mom for doing that. (geezus, I would never say anything out loud about it though! People are so Rude!) Sure, his hair was gorgeous, but... you're not the one that has to deal with the stares, the comments, etc. HE is. And what is the benefit in exchange for that sacrifice? I just can't see that it's worth it.

3 moms found this helpful

Yeah, sorry....I'm in the camp that thinks that little boys should look like little boys.

However...I would NEVER comment to you about your son's hair. To each their own.

My son will never have long hair (at least, until I have bigger frish to fry with him). But that's just me. I dress mine in little plaid shorts every day becuase I think they're adorable. Many people hate them and roll their eyes. They seem to have a problem with it, then they can find a way to deal with it. Period.

Don't let it get to you. If someone tells you to cut his hair - I'd point blank look at them and ask why. Then stand there staring at them until they give you an explanation....or change the subject. :)

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So long as you don't get upset when people mistake him for a girl, it's up to you. I don't think people should comment or get mad. They may not agree with your choice but geez - to get mad? Seems silly. I have seen mothers seem to be offended though when someone is confused that their son with long hair is a girl and that's silly too. No one is intentionally making the mistake. My daughter kept referring to a little boy with long hair as a girl and I was embarrassed but he did look like a girl... So if that mom was annoyed, I feel that's her problem. If she laughs it off like you do, then who cares?...

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No. I've always had my son in short hair and he likes it that way.
I know someone who has a 3 yr old boy and he had long black curls down to his waist.
Everyone thought he was a girl.
He looks better now that they've cut it.
I know another boy with hair down past his shoulders.
His hair would be ok if he'd take care of it.
It looks like blond greasy rat tails and it's just not an attractive look but I think his Mom's sort of forcing it on him.

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I see no need to cut it, but I live in Hawaii. My daughter goes to school with a 6 year old that hair to his waist. It is a cultural thing.

Perhaps those angry moms are so because they can't be bothered with caring for a girl with long hair let alone a boy with one!

We are military and my husband woulds be MORTIFIED if my sons had long hair, so we have to cut our sons hair.

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We all have our preferences. I don't think there's anything wrong with some social stereotypes.

I have raised 3 girls with one more at home. So having a grandson of my own is all new territory for me. I have had boys in my daycare for 25 years though. The one boy that ever had long hair did raise a ruckus. He was a bit strange in his behavior at first anyway. After having him a few years he calmed down and my other mothers made a lot of comments about how normal he had become while in my care. Eventually this mother cut his hair and between his normal behavior and the new hair, he was such a handsome young man!

My husband has let his hair grow out and I hate it. I really, really, super duper, HATE it. Our anniversary is today and frankly I could care less. It's none of my business how you raise your son. But I'm still free to hate long hair on a boy.

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I know several little boys that look like girls and the moms get po'd when someone compliments their cute 'little girl'. The fact that they wear non gender specific clothing and sometimes even wear ponytails with ear piercings has a lot to do with that. It's not a bystanders fault if they can't tell what your child's gender is.

So... I don't have a problem with long hair on boys... so long as the child actually looks like a boy. Does it effect me? No, but does someone consider the feelings of how the child feels to be constantly called a girl?

It won't end though in childhood. My husband is masculine, tall, short hair but soft facial features and blue eyes and blonde hair... and attractive, he always gets told he would make a beautiful woman... drives him nuts.

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My boy's have short hair, and we like it that way.

To each their own.

= )

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I'm not sure whether you are more frustrated that strangers assume your little boy is a girl, or that strangers are frustrated that your little boy looks like a little girl.

The fact that people can identify a child wearing "skater" clothes as a little girl suggests that gender stereotypes are flying out the window. Consider yourself ahead of the curve, as many mothers were 20 years ago who first started dressing their little girls in "skater" clothes, which is nowadays considered "normal".

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I don't have a little boy with long hair, but I don't see why it's a problem at all. If he wants to cut it then you should cut it, but it's his hair. I was a girl with long hair until I went to college because my dad would get angry at my mother if she let us get it cut short. I thought it was totally ridiculous and I don't' really see how forcing your son to cut his hair is any different.

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My son was really bald when he was born, and at 2 yrs old still didnt have enough to cut off for his baby book. Finally got a little fuzz off the back of his head at about 3. I didnt want him to have long hair, I just wanted him to have SOME hair! Im not real fond of long hair on boys but it sure isnt my problem if parents choose it. I have commented about the long hair before even when I know its a boy but its usually just to say how gorgeous their hair is and that I wish I could grow mine that well. Ive also said that same thing about a girl with long beautiful hair. I sometimes think men with long hair are trying to recapture thier youth and it looks mighty silly to be bald on top but have long hair hanging around their ears. I have to admit tho, I do like the look on Brett Michaels, and (be still my heart) Trace Adkins!

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My son is also a 3 year old that looks like a 4 1/2 year old... and he has beautiful long curly hair... almost like Shirley Temple curls. His curls are getting down his neck, close to the shoulders. He looks so awesome! I love it and it suits him. He's also exceptionally beautiful (in my opinion) with super long eyelashes and full lips, and we had many many girl comments from the beginning. It never upset me, because I feel he is as beautiful as a girl. As far as these mothers who inflict their unsolicited opinions upon you and your son... next time one feels entitled to cast judgement, just look her dead and the eye and tell her "Not that it's any of your business, but he and we are happy with his hair just as it is, and I don't think anyone deputized you as the hair police. You are being rude and judgmental and I'd appreciate it if you kept your opinions to yourself and your own children."

I bet your boy is just gorgeous and keep that beautiful hair long!

1 mom found this helpful

My middle child, a boy, has my curly hair and when he was between 2-3 yrs old it was long(ish) but uber curly and wickedly cute! The same thing happened to me about people telling me to cut it and thinking he was a girl!

The straw that broke the camels back (so to speak) was when he was taking his preschool pictures and the photographer said (in front of the whole class) 'Ok Sweetie, it's your turn...you sure are a pretty lil' girl, what's your name'? My son was VERY embarrassed!
~Mind you, he was in blue Levi's, a royal blue long sleeve thermal with a striped blue and white shirt over the top of it, wearing his blue and white Adidas...but heck, I guess that still wasn't enough?!

I promptly went and cut his hair. I was OK with it tho, I knew his curls would grow back (which they do and will forever, I say he has my hair but it's really my dad's hair :) and I knew I had a nice picture coming of his gorgeous hair!

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I have a 3 year old boy as well--blond--adorable, of course. :) We do cut his hair maybe 2-3 times a year, but then let it grow. He's so cute when it's in that in-between phase. I always liked men with long hair when I was younger--how I met my husband! (Although, his hair is short now.) Anyway, I think you're absolutely right--long hair is no big deal. It certainly doesn't dictate your sexual preferences--sheesh! And for the record, I totally agree with you--I will embrace a boyfriend/son-in-law in the same manner as I would a girlfriend/daughter-in-law. It's only important that my son is in love and happy!

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No, but my stepson had long hair til he was 5 or so and looked very much like a little boy. I also live in an area where it is common (per Orthodox Jewish tradition) to see little boys with long hair. I don't see a problem, nor do I think it should be an issue for someone else. Just let it roll off your backs. Recognize that he might be called a girl sometimes and let him choose if he wants to have short short hair or not (but I'd trim it before it gets so long it's tangled, even if you keep it longer).

1 mom found this helpful

Unfortantly my little boy doesn't have long hair :( but I can say the ONLY reason he doesn't is b/cuz we live in TX where it can get very hot and my boy is very very hot natured BUT when summer is over we don't cut his hair until it gets hot again. I love boys (even grown boys) w/long hair and I say if he has the personality to play it off go for it. :)

I had to respond to this even though it seems I'm late on the topic. My beautiful son is growing his hair to donate to Locks for Love. It is now almost long enough to cut and people always say he looks like a girl. He very politely responds "I am growing my hair to help children who have lost theirs due to an illness. I hope you will consider doing that someday too." I LOVE the embarrassed looks people give when he busts that out. To each his own I say and I know I'm going to be sad when his gorgeous blond hair is cut even if it is for a good cause.

It's harmless and very trendy. 3 year olds are not expressing themselves through their clothes yet. They are wearing styles their parents like. That's a universal truth for everyone. In my old neighborhood in Brooklyn before we moved to the styx, all the hipster's little boys had long hair. Here in rural central PA, none do. Who cares? My son's is short for my own convenience-I already have two daughters who need braiding and ponytails every day or I'm combing out dreadlocks after a sweaty romp at the park. When he gets scruffy and can't see, I hack off his wavy locks. As he gets older, he'll choose his own style. His dad has longish hair and all over tattoos. We don't care what he chooses and try not to dote on appearances too much. I did notice that the little boys with long hair got a lot of "attention" for it, which I didn't think was a good thing to process at such a young age since it's not important.

Both my boys have longer hair than most boys... My boys are mix too, my oldest, 14, has more African-American hair, while my 4 year old has mix hair with a big curls... My husband use to have long hair and does like that the boys have it... My older son, wants his hair long, and my younger one doesn't care too much other than he doesn't want his hair shaved again. I think they both look good, but I don't like messing with the tangles... I personally would like the younger one to have a little shorter hair only because he's not old enough to take care of and it falls mainly on me... Now daddy does get him ready in the morning, but I'm the one that usually has to comb it out...
Keep your boys hair how you want it until he gets older and does what he want to it... Keep ignoring those other mothers...

I always kept my son's hair short. He didn't like it long. He's 15 now and still can't stand it growing out too much. He likes taking a shower, using a little gel and being out the door. He doesn't even need a comb.
When he was in kindergarten, I worked in the class a few days a week. There was the prettiest little girl in class. Long dark hair parted down the middle and braided on both sides secured with white hair bands. Pierced ears. She was beautiful...except she was a boy. I felt awful when I sait it was her turn to use the glue and he corrected me.
It was an issue he had many times over and his mother would march to the school ticked off and throwing fits about it. By the 5th grade, this kid had hair down to his butt and his mom was still completely indignant that people thought he was a girl.
He's the same age as my son, now 15, and he's got dreadlocks down his back. He's filling out and even from behind you can tell he's a boy now.
I don't see a problem with long hair on boys but a person has to be prepared that someone may think the kid is a girl and not be offended by it.
Maybe people aren't so much "inconvenienced" by your son having long hair as much as they feel bad, as I did, that I thought a little boy was a girl.
I referred to him as a girl to his face and I felt bad about that. I sincerely apologized to him. But I wasn't the only one who made that mistake. How many boys have earrings and braids down to the middle of their back in kindergarten?
Kate Hudson's son has long hair, although I think she might have gotten it cut and Cindy Crawford's son has long hair.
I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you choose for your son to have long hair, you're going to encounter this. It doesn't mean you have to cut it just because people get mixed up.

Just my opinion.

We have friends who keep their sons' hair long. Occasionally the boys will get mistaken for girls. It's something the parents know to expect - kind of comes with the territory. I can't imagine ever telling a stranger that they NEED to do something as a parent. If someone ever told me I NEEDED to cut my son's hair, I'd probably say, "Why? What difference does it make to you?"

Your comment about moms being told they should let their girls hair grow longer also struck a chord with me. My friend's daughter has a condition where her hair can't grow. She is 4, never had a haircut, and her hair is barely thick enough for pigtails. My friend is very self-conscious on her daughter's behalf because of it, and it's precisely because there seems to be such an emphasis on hair and appearance in general in our society.

When children are young, it can be so hard to tell if they are a girl or a boy anyway. When I am not sure, I usually ask, "What's your baby's/child's name?" and hope that gives me a clue.

I don't have a boy with long hair, but my MIL is constantly telling me to cut my daughter's long hair (my mom is too by the way!). My point is, do what you like because there will always be someone with an opinion either way!!! Sounds adorable .

Just enjoy this time, you can't get it back. When people tell you that his hair should be cut, just let them know you like it this way and you can never get this time back. My husband loves long hair on my son, although it is thick, so we never grew it that long. He has never had a short boys cut though.

I agree, that people should not be commenting. All the more better if your little boy looks pretty.


Hi A.! I have a 14 mo yr old boy, and his hair is beginning to get VERY long .... when we are at the park he watches the bigger boys play ball - they will usually roll it to him, but always ask "Is it ok is SHE plays too???" - Seriosuly?!?! He is wearing boys clothes; he looks like a boy, he has gorgeous blue eyes, a chubby little baby face with dimples that make you melt, and thick, wavy blonde hair. It is funny, I used to think it was odd, for those parents that would let their boys' hair grow out...but now that I am in that position, I completely understand! We will get it trimmed occassionally (this will be his fourth trip in less than 6 months), but I think there is nothing wrong with it - I do have to draw the line if it is braided with bows and such, but, a surfer style is unique to each individual...I am not in CA or near a beach, but if I was, I wouldn't mind if his hair was a little longer than normal!

When my oldest was 15 she had short short short hair, shaved in the back, and her little cousins kept saying "We wanna play with the big boy, we wanna play with the big boy!" She wasn't happy, but understood that its easy to get confused.
To say the least, she had long hair from then on till recently. Now its shaved on one side, and down to her ribs on the other.

I am late on this topic as well, but my son has had long hair since he was born practicaly.Yes. By our choice he has kept his long hair, least till he could speak of his choice of hair style, though we have kept it trimmed and his bangs cut so he could see, but other wise it makes him his own person. He is now 5 and can voice it, and he doesn't want his hair cut. Maybe we influenced him to liking long hair, or maybe he just likes it. I have wanted to just cut it once really short, to let him see what it be like with short hair but he has thrown the biggest fit in such casses of mentioning it. Nerver the less, its who he is. Even if everyone, no matter what he is wearing, thinks hes a girl.

People really though should not pass judgment on such things. Would we have complained about this in the 80s when long hair was popular. Even the long hair style has come back into style in recent years. Not to mention my husband, when I first met him, and is now growing it back, had long long hair. Its beautiful. Whos the one to pass judgment on how anyone looks or choose to look. We gonna complaine cus a girl decides she wants to have short hair, we going to say shes wants to be a boy, or be gay cus she likes it that way. No. Because that would be stupid. Image has been branded into our heads to think one way or another.

Now I understand, had you put bows in his hair, and put him in dresses and the like, it would not seem right, but all he has is but long hair. I know one of my grandmothers had done that with her son once.. well from the sounds of it she did it quite often cus he had beautiful long curlly hair, till her mother cut the boys hair. Thats when you would think the parents want their boy to be a girl, but to alow them to have long hair? wow.

Anyways. I though I just comment cus I have the same issue alot since my son has long hair, everyone thinks hes a girl, even when I tell them he is a boy. Had one man that wouldn't get it though his head I said boy, and kept calling him a girl, I just let it go and humored him. laughs. Anyways. You are deffintily not alone. Its a growing trend again, and personaly I think long hair on boys is great.

Nope, no long hair here. My boys start telling me when they need hair cuts - the DO NOT like their hair touching their ears.

what does it matter what someone else thinks anyway? If you can care for his hair and when he's old enough to care for it - then it's fine.

I really like what you added in your "so what happened." I think I need more friends like you! It's ridiculous to worry about what others will say. My daughter had very short hair for a long time - just very slow growing. When she was 2, she was wearing a pink tank top and "girlie" shorts (honestly, she was not dressed in pink very often) and someone asked how old our little boy was. People are clueless. Strangers think they have the right to criticize what others are doing when it is of no concern to them. Friends/acquaintances think they know what's better for your kids. Trust your instincts.

Both of my boys have long hair, but my older son, now 8, chooses to cut his hair in the summer and grow it out in the fall. My younger son, 5, has long blonde hair and has on a couple of occasions been mistaken for a girl. It didn't bother me. But on the flip side they both get alot of compliments on their hair. So many moms have said they wished their son had the kind of hair that could be worn long. If you like his hair, and more importatntly your son likes his hair, then I say keep it long. Don't worry about other people's reactions.

It can go either way...my son was shocked to find out his best friend who he thought was a boy at church...was really a little girl with very very short hair and dressed very tomboyish.

Her family was new to our church and they hit it off and when I told him "he" was a "she" he got really mad at me.

Does it matter, no not at all...it is hair.

Oh, to actually answer your question my son does not have long hair...I was sad to cut his baby curls off at a bout a year old, but he had a mullet and looked a bit dated. Once the curls came off his hair is straight and think...it is just easier to keep him in a "little boy cut" as when it starts to grow out it looks awful. One of the boys in his class has long hair...doesn't bug me any.

No, we are definitely not past gender stereotypes. Keep being polite if people are confused (can't really blame them). But they should not be telling you to cut it!!

If you like it and he likes it, that's all that matters!

Hi A.! I didn't read any of the responses, but obviously by your update there was quite a stir. I just want to let you know that I totally agree with you. I have always allowed my kids to express themselves through their hair and clothes (with some limits such as "brush your hair" and "clean clothes"). It's one way they can have control in who they are without permanent impacts (i.e. tattoos, piercings, etc.). My son just buzzed his hair, but prior to that he had really long hair. Long enough to donate to Locks of Love. He's 9. My mom used to complain and give him a hard time to get the hair out of his eyes (he had long bangs swept to the side). I had to tell her to keep quiet about his hair. She complained to me, but stopped bugging my son...thankfully. Regardless, my DS's hair rocked! Just the way he wanted it! I give you kudos for allowing your son self expression!!! Realizing, however, that you'll have to deal with the criticism from those who judge.

I feel your pain. My son is still young but has long hair & everyone always tells us how pretty our little girl is. He is also very pretty but always wearing very boyish clothes. We love his long hair b/c our other sons didn't have the type of hair, to be long.

I have a girl, but I don't see why hair length should be gender-limited.
Girls can wear their hair short or long, and no one says squat, so why do people get their undies in a bunch if a boy's hair is long? It' just hair - whatever my daughter wanted to do to hers was fine with me - long, short, natural color, neon color, or shave her head and put body paint on her scalp.

He sounds like a little stud in training :) I love boys with long hair, it's adorable! My girl is constantly mistaken for a boy and it doesn't bother me, little ones are so androgynous until you put pink or blue clothes on them. I've had a couple of old ladies sort of reprimend me for not putting bows on her head so she will look like a girl--Umm, she hates them. What am I supposed to do? Pin it to her head and slap her hand away every time she wants to pull a hair bow out? My son had long hair until he decided he wanted to look like daddy (who has short hair), and he loves when daddy cuts his hair during "guy time".

Hey there!
My husband is Indian and our little boy will have his wonderful hair. My husband has long hair, and likes kids with long hair too. I always thought I would cut any kid`s hair short, as my brother and I always had short hair. Seems easier to play with, not to get tangled up etc. However, my husband wants out little boy to have longer curls too, as his hair is so pretty. I am fine with that too. Forget the gender typing. Society will try to press him into some ridiculous, completely made-up mold soon enough. It`s your freedom to chose, and soon his freedom to chose.

My son had long hair up until 4 1/2 or so, it was short on top and long in the back and he would still get mistaken for a girl (the long eyelashes was a factor in that too). I loved his little ringlets of curls. In the long run he decided he wanted his hair cut short when the little boys at the swimming pool called him a girl. I don't see why other moms would be mad in your case, maybe embarrassed?

WoW! Based on your "what's happened" I don't know if I want to view your responses! My little blondie hasn't had a haircut either and despite his style and gruff voice - we get the girl comments too. I couldn't care less. My husband has been hounding me a bit. He feels like I'm forcing my son to be "alternative" and after bickering about this for awhile - truth came out and it's more about what "others" think about our sons shaggy do. That to me is simply laughable. Why would anyone impose what "others" think on their own life - especially our children's? What a horrible way to be conditioned in life! When my son wants his hair to be cut - fine. Same with my 6 year old daughter :) Sometimes I snip hair out of my sons eyes, but only if he is agreeable. I myself, only recently cut my hair for the first time in 16 years. (i had dreads), so it seems ridiculous to impose expectations that I don't even live up to on my kids - regardless of their sex and the social "norms". My husband is in med school and has had to conform a bit for the part. I think that's where he is coming from - understanding first hand how society (or the workplace) treats you differently if you look "alternative" (i guess that means shaggy - or unkept??) Seems old fashioned to me. At this point - don't we know that brilliant people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and styles?!

Can my 3 year old daughter have some of his hair? Haha... We waited 2 years for her to get any! My opinion? Who cares!? I don't get what difference it makes to anyone else... As long as your son isn't asking to cut it or getting upset that people mistake him for a girl, I don't see the issue. People need to calm down. :-)

My husband and I often talk about what we'd do if we had a boy that decided he wanted to wear makeup or clothing we hated. We've always said, "Why fight that battle?" Honestly, if they're good kids, making responsible choices, are kind and honest individuals, why tell them how to dress or how to wear their hair? Obviously, this doesn't apply to your 3 year old yet, but it's a similar vein. By requiring kids to dress or "be" a certain way, it seems TO ME (to each his own) that we're telling kids that what's on the outside matters as much or more than what's on the inside.

My four year old daughter goes to school in La Jolla with a bunch of boys with long hair. Could just be our beach culture. I love it.

Hi, didn't read anyone's comments, but here is mine. I think it's awesome to have a boy w/ long hair! I have a 6yr old who has beautiful long hair, just above his buttocks. Took him three times to cut his hair, & he cried EVERYTIME. I told him, "aren't you tired of everyone thinking you're a girl?" He said, "No, mom, I know I'm a boy!" Me: "it doesn't bother you?" Son: "no, cause I know I'm not a girl!" Me: "ok, then, if you're fine w/ it, I won t let it bother me!" That was that! He absolutely likes his hair, then again, that's all he knows. When he wants to cut it, we will, until then, it'll be long & beautiful! He smart though, he knows the girls love it & he's different w/ it! To be honest, living here in Hawaii, there are so many you g boys w/ long hair. My son is part Samoan, & it's a cultural thing for us, but yeah, it's all good!

If I had a son and he liked his long hair and cared for it without complaint I would allow it.

At our daughters elementary school we had 1 boy (Adrien) with hair down to his waist. His mom was a teacher there. In 5th grade a girl also in 5th grade started attending the school and always wore skater pants and tshirts. She also had long hair to her waist.. They looked like twins! The eyes, the smile, the clothing, the shoes, the hair! It was amazing. It did not bother either of them or their parents.. People always got them confused. Even their moms if they did not see their faces!

For the Talent show the last day of school they did an act where they did a "mirror" performance of some song.. It was completely AWESOME! they got a standing ovation! She ended up going to a different Middle school. and the I do not think the young man cut his hair until about 8th grade.

It is rude for people to tell you to cut his hair, but it is hard to be upset that they get confused about your child being a boy or a girl.. no matter how he is dressed, many girls wear boy clothing.. I am sure people think the "girls should dress like girls." Just do what these kids did and tell people who they are and not let it bother you.

So what you like he likes it whats the problem.Just let others say their comments & you can either mouth off or walk away.

In our defense--sometimes kids with long hair look very unkempt, it makes me think their parents cant be bothered. Sometimes a boy's hair is soo pretty I wonder if their parents secretly hoped for a girl. Most three year olds and most little boys could care less what their hair looks like, so we do think it is the parent's preferences not a little boy showing his own style, the Typical little boy doesnt have style! But you're right we would never pass judgement on a girls parents if she had short hair!

I did. I loved his long hair! We were growing it out because my family and I are Colonial reenactors so it was time period correct. The reason why I cut it was because he just seemed so miserable with the hair in his eyes. That is the only reason. It wasn't long enough to pull all the way back. I didn't want to continue torturing him till it was long enough and that is the only reason why I did.
Ignore those people. It's your family, your son, your life. They can go and cut their son's hair if they want. His hair and he likes it. Oh well. It fits YOUR lifestyle. Not theirs. You are probably going to have to get a thicker skin if he keeps it that way.

Wow, I had no idea long hair on boys bothers people. I have no problem with boys with long hair. It's just hair. I bet your son looks adorable. And the poster saying letting your son grow his hair long may make him gay is ridiculous. But being gay is not such a big deal...it's just how some people are. I don't understand why someone would be offended by it or by long hair on a boy. Our son (7) has quite a large poof of VERY curly hair. It's not really "long" bc it all curls up but there is a lot of it. When he was younger he used to get people thinking he was a girl all the time. I guess bc it is curly and blonde? It has never been that long...just very poofy all around his head. I can see wanting to keep your kid's hair medium or short due to not having to deal with tangles. Brushing out tangles drives me NUTS.

All three of my son's had long hair until they were three.

My son (5) has longish very curly hair. I love it. Occasionally someone says something along the lines of 'what would she like to order?' at a restaurant to which we reply 'he will share what we are eating'. We don't make a big deal about it. And who should care if a child is male or female. Unless they really need to put the kid in a neat little 'girl who wears pink and wants to be a princess when she grows up' or 'boy who wears blue and will never share any childcare but could be the president when he grows up' box.

And wow, there are apparently still people who believe that what children wear or look like determines their sexual orientation.

My son like his hair "longish" though it's never been that long (shoulders). BUT are you saying complete strangers are commenting? What butt heads!
Does he like it? Do you & hubs like it? That's all that matters....

And I do remember going through an annoying "he's pretty enough to be a girl" phase. Um...handsome men start out as good looking kids, right? Duh!

My boys dont' have long hair, but neither does my girl. :) It doesn't matter boy/girl long hair goes by the person and their personality. Please don't let other Mom's tell you what to do. I am sure your son is just fine with his hair.

I do not have an issue with the hair length at all, but be prepared with school coming up there may be a dress code policy requireing a cut ... I would be aware of that. Oh and as long as he does not look messy or tangled I think it is just fine.

We just cut my 4 yr olds hair after someone at t-ball told daddy "I didn't know your daughter played" and I don't like it one bit! :( We will be growing it back out short hair just doesn't suit him. My youngest had long hair until he was 2 but it was so curly it looked short and people still said "what beautiful hair your daughter has" he is 9 now and occasionally grows it out.

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