Little Boy Dressing up in Mom's Clothes

My son wanted to do that a lot at that age and I was mortified. He is now a healthy energetic 14 year old. That stage passed. People recommended to me to let him dress up. Give him lots of different costumes to play with, a box full. I think someone gave me a pretty two piece dress that he could fool around in and he was thrilled. It is very normal. And it did pass. I wouldn't push it or pull it, just be gentle and guide him to his own clothes and he own dress up box. My other son was not at all interested in dressing in womens clothes. Go figure.

He also said he wanted to marry me at about that age. I said I was married to Daddy he would have to find his own wife. He is very huggy and lovey dovey unlike my older son, but the teenage years are here and it is changing before my eyes. Enjoy each age as it comes.

1 mom found this helpful

J.,
I didn't have a lot of this. On occasion my son would put on my clothes. He liked my jewelry, and did ask to have his fingernails painted. I allowed him to do all of those playful tyype of things. I can say that I have friends whose boys did like to put on their clothes. I have one friend whose sons both wore skirts areound the house. No big deal. They said they just liked the way it felt. This was from about 3-6 yrs. old. You talked about 'typical" boy behavior. That is difficult to pin down. Your son sounds very well adjusted. He is experimenting with all of his senses and has a great imagination. The specail attention he pays to the women's cltohes might be because they are not his everyday wear. They are "dress up clothes". Have you talked with him about what it means to him to be a boy? Sometimes just listening to their thoughts and ideas freeflowing without any "shoulds" will give you some perspective. If you are concerned about gender confusion; seek out a developmental pediatrician.
Hope that help, and enjoy your son at this age.
L.

YES YES YES...... I have 2 boys, 5 and 2. It is perfectly normal for them to want to do what Momma does. The rule with my oldest was once he turned 5 he could no longer have his toes painted. My 2 year old and I just painted our toes last night. Of course it's not anything bright like pinks or reds, usually it's silver or clear, but it makes him happy to be doing what I am doing. They both also love to clunk around the house in my shoes. It's absolutely normal and definitely harmless. It's only a big deal if you make it one so I'd just ride it out, he'll grow out of it.

For example - my younger brother used to wear my clothes when we were younger (I'm 5 years older.) He'd wear my shoes, bras, dresses, make up.... One day he even wore my prom gown. He's 27 now and has been happily married for 6 years and has 3 kids.

Good luck to you!

I would just answer his questions directly and kindly. These are clothes that girl's wear. If he is interested in dress up then I would get him some costumes to play with. They don't all have to be super heros and police and fireman, although most boys love those. He could have a white coat and be a doctor or an old suit coat. He could pretend to be a chef. My boys and girls play dress up but the boys know that the princess dresses are for the girls. It is ok to state norms and you can do it without making him feel badly. He may just be looking for why you wear these clothes and daddy wears these clothes.

Just wanted to add something quick about specified gender roles and little kids. I'm a teacher, taught preK and kindergarten for a while now, and I am here to tell you that nearly every little boy absolutely loves the color pink until people tell him it's a girl's color!! If given a choice of colors of construction paper, most all boys will choose pink first when they're still too young to get the "girly" side of pink. Makes me wonder who decided pink WAS a girly color!! LOL!!!

I have a minor in psychology and it is normal for him to do that it is the freuidian complex (I believe that is the correct term). It is very noraml and should pass

When my father in law was about four he had a huge tantrum because his sisters all had pretty pink dresses and he didn't. he grew up to become a Marine and fought in WWll.

There is nothing wrong with your son. Even if he is gay there isn't a lot you can do about it except accept him for what he is and love him. Although your son will probably just grow out of it without any effort from you.

Enjoy all the aspects of your child he will be grown and gone before you know it.

Hi J.,

I wouldn't be too bothered by it at this point, he's only 4 and 'typical' boy in most respects as you said. If it persists as he ages it will probably bear some attention. Maybe just ask your pediatrician at your next visit about it. In the meantime let him experiment without judgment and just enjoy your little guy, 4 is a great age.

Take care,S.

Hi J.,

I have a 4yo boy, too, and he used to express interest in dresses and such. Last October, I bought several halloween costumes and he dresses up in those now. I wonder if your son really just notices that your clothing pieces have more bling than his and he'd like that?

D.

Hi there J..

I can understand your concern. But take heart, this is fairly typical at this age. He is developing his own gender understanding. This is also the age where gender stereotypes can set in and we can help dissuade that by being non judgemental.

I think not making a big deal of it is a great way of handling it.

Cheers!
J