Lighthearted: I Am Dumber than A....

Well, earlier today I put my son in a tub full of bubble bath... But forgot to take off his diaper. When I put him in he even stood up for a while as if to say 'Mommy, you forgot something'. Then I made him sit down. A few minutes later I realized my mistake.

So I guess I am dumber than a 2 year old because he realized that he was still wearing his diaper and I didn't.

13 moms found this helpful

nope, my story goes the opposite way. I achieved Victory tonight....on many levels!

About 8 years ago, I had Bells Palsy. I have noticeable, permanent paralysis on 1/2 my face. I hate it.

2nite I was riding in my son's vintage Camaro...t-tops off. I had this crazy random thought....& acted upon it. Totally immature thought. Totally shocked my son.....& totally pissed him off. I mean....all the way.

I leaned my head back & spit out my gum.....up & over that center brace! My gum landed in his lap, bounced off, & hit the floorboard. OMG he was hysterically furious with me. Not because I did it, but because the gum hit the carpet....I got his car dirty. (well, gummy). I'm sorry (no, I'm not).....but it was funny & I laughed for the next 10 minutes. He threatened to put me out on the curb!

So my victory was that #1 I was physically able to pull off the stunt. & #2 I was totally immature, grossed him out, & was able to laugh about it.... without remorse. It felt really good to act like a jerk! :)

It's been 2 hours & he still hasn't recovered! & it still feels good!

12 moms found this helpful

A folding chair. Sigh. But these chairs fold REALLY WEIRD !

My uncle always said: Be smarter than the equipment you operate. I hate it when I fail that test.

6 moms found this helpful

Oh! I thought this was going to be a "finish that sentence with common sayings" sort of game. I was going to contribute, "sack of bricks", because for some reason people like compare intelligence to masonry.

I guess the most recent thing that's defeated me was my own bed sheets. Somehow I got twisted up in them and mewled in my husband's general direction for help in de-tangling myself at 6:30 this morning. =/

5 moms found this helpful

i am dumber than an egg.
:/
and the sad part is, i'm sort of fascinated with them. i'm past the tchotchke stage and don't buy stuff to keep around any more, but have kept my egg collection. i love decorative eggs AND real eggs.
but they just defeat me. i cannot break an egg without getting shell in it to save my bones. i've tapped gently, rapped smartly, gone kamikaze, requested politely, watched youtube videos and begged every old wife i know for instruction. and yet i still cannot figure out the task most 5 year olds have mastered. how to break an egg correctly.
:( khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful

my dog.. it happens pretty often actually .. hes very good at distracting you so he can get what he wants.. i was making a sandwich and he stood at the back door barking "to go out" as soon as he hear me walking through the dining room he ran around the house the other way, into the kitchen and took my piece of cheese off the counter .. another one of his favorites is to bang his head on the garbage while youre in the bathroom so you come out without shutting the door.. and by the time you realize he wasnt even in the garbage hes in the bathroom eating the toilet paper

3 moms found this helpful

well my first thought, in answer to your headline, was "...box a' rocks!" lol.

i have managed to ruin TWO pots of boiled eggs, in a week's time. (only 3 eggs each time, thank goodness!)

the first time, i left the burner on half the night. you read that right. my hubby woke me up for...um...*some* reason... :) and i kept smelling it, thinking it was him. for no reason at all, after we were done i went out to the kitchen and discovered the source of the smell. i had cooked all the water out of the eggs and they were just roasting away...EEEK. have never been so happy to have been woken up out of a dead sleep.

last night i did NOT cook them for hours and hours. i did, however, make perfectly wonderful boiled eggs - and then leave them sitting in a pot of cold water ("cooling") over night. GRRRR!!!!

i googled it. can't eat them now. 3 more eggs in the trash.

at least the house doesn't stink this time....

i'm dumber than a dang egg. :(

3 moms found this helpful

I can't get the blade off my blender. It's like... completely stuck. Even my husband tried. Am I seriously going to have to buy a new blender because I can't clean this one?

2 moms found this helpful

I am dumber than a... computer program. Photoshop. Why didn't they supply an instruction book? I'm slow enough WITH a book!

2 moms found this helpful

When I used to work for Breadco (Panera to everyone else) we had to assemble bakery boxes. Every time I had to I would chant, I am an intelligent woman, over and over. They seem like they would be so simple but no, they are not!

2 moms found this helpful

A roll of paper towels..... I have very tall cabinets in my kitchen and we buy at Costco, so I come home with 15 rolls of paper towels. At the highest shelf, we store all these rolls. Today for whatever reason, there were no rolls to be found in their proper place, not in the kitchen, not in the bathroom(I have a roll in there too for whatever). One of my dogs, chose to pee in the middle of the livingroom, to protest that she has not been fed or walked, and I run to the bathroom.....nothing. I run to the kitchen, nothing. I look around like an idiot, expecting a roll of paper towels to appear and I finally stare up at the cabinet and go speechless. Meanwhile, my son, 5' 6" and my husband 5' 4" are staring at me watching the whole thing. As the men of my life stand there laughing, my husband says...."whatsamatter honey, you need a roll of paper towel?" So I am as dumb as a roll of paper towels...LOL

2 moms found this helpful

I thought my juicer had me defeated. But after 15 minutes of cursing, twisting, and brute strength, I finally beat it into submission.

2 moms found this helpful

The jelly jar. I couldn't open that damn thing! My girlfriend made me some homemade strawberry jam and I had to finally break down and ask my husband to open it...which he did easily
argh!
Laura

1 mom found this helpful

Yesterday, a pot of boiling water I forgot and by the time I remembered all the water had boiled away.

1 mom found this helpful

My 5 year old granddaughter.. I went to have lunch at school for grandparents day. Her mom, other grandma and great grandma was eating with us also. I had went down to her class while my daughter in law waited for her mom and grandma at the office. I walked with my granddaughter and her kindergarten class to the lunch room. My granddaughter kept telling me "I'll show you what you need to do, ok grandma?" I was trying to hold back waiting for the others but my granddaughter kept pulling me ahead with "Come on grandma... I will show you what to do" She perhaps thought I was nervous..lol Anyway, after the 4 time or so telling me to come on, she finally turned to a little boy next to her and informed him "I don't know what to do about these Oldies...I have a hard time keeping track of them!

One the other hand.. my husband is outsmarted by the Dish network and by the new flat screen TV after my daughter does her morning exersize dvd. He can't figure out how to get it back to the dish...lol