Unfortunately, there's no substitute for combing except shaving her head.
Get her in front of her favorite tv show or movie and comb away.
(bribe her with whatever you need to in order to get this done)
Tea trea oil helps to loosen them and smooth it down the hair follicle.
Unfortunately, you will have to be checked too. And your husband. A child doesnt just come home one day with a head full of lice and nits. By the time the child gets to the point you've described, days have passed since her first exposure to the lice and/or nits. Which means everyone who's been around her has also been exposed.
My best friend said she did this for her very long haired girls: wash hair in the brown Listerine or store brand brown mouth wash, don't rinse but leave in hair with plastic grocery bag wrapped around head for two hours. Rinse out and apply tea tree oil. Comb out daily until no trace of the pests are found. Do same for all members of household and notify family and friends that have been exposed to her.
It's not "cooties"... it's a common childhood ordeal. It doesnt mean your family is "dirty"; you are victims and should not be embarrassed. Get good at this now because as long as your child is in contact with any other human outside your home, there is the possibility of getting it again. The best thing for prevention is to keep her hair up in pony tail or similar and use hair spray or mousse daily. The tea tree oil in the shampoo or leave in conditioner is a good idea. Check her for the pests after every bath (just a quick look-see when you are drying and styling her hair.)
Be patient. This is not the worst thing you'll face as a mom, although it does seem like it now, LOL...