Leaving Work at Work

A couple of suggestions:

- A "work diary" that you can vent in, work things out, of what happened at work. Even though you won't be able to write in it as soon as you get home (family wants us when we walk in the door), just knowing it's there for you can help you focus on family while you're with them.

- Before you leave work, write your "6 most important things" to do list for the next day. Limit it to 6 so you're not stressing or overwhelmed. But having it down on paper and there at work will allow you to not be thinking about it at home.

- Take a smallish box, wrap it nicely, and cut a slot in it. This is your "Things for God to take care of" box. (Or something similar, depending on your beliefs). If something is just really bugging you and there's nothing you can do right now, write it on a card and drop it in the box, then let God (or the universe or however you prefer to believe) take care of it. This isn't a box you get back into later. If you can/need to do something about it later, you will; if not, let it lie. In the mean time you can let Someone else worry about it for the time.

-Make an "I Can" or two: a can or jar decorated, and with the letter I or the words I Can on it. When you do a good job on something, or have a great experience with your client, or something, write it on a card and drop it in the I Can. When you're feeling discouraged about something that didn't go right, pull out a few cards and read things you have done well. Feeling positive about your work can help you leave work at work.

-Share the good things with your family!! Let them celebrate with you

-Have a confidant. Someone you can cry to when things don't go well. It can be your husband, or a friend (best if it's not someone in the office). Make sure you keep things confidential, but having someone to vent to for a couple of minutes can let you let it go so you can be with your family emotionally as well as physically (I vent to my hubby a lot. He can listen and comfort, and then we can move on; some guys can do that, others not so well).

Hope this helps!

Yes it is possible. I am a social worker for a population of people who are constantly being re traumatized. I have a long drive and use that to revisit my day. Once I reach my door, that's it I am MOMMY and any thoughts of the other get put aside. Some of my co workers just jot down for a revisit on the next day. You may want to also look into therapy from your work place. These traumas can effect you as well. They can also help with methods to cope. Good luck but remember at the end of the day your family still needs you.

Funny you should bring this up because my fellow therapists and I were just talking about this. I don't know your profession, but here is what I'm attempting.

- Be cautious about over identifying with the client. Know your countertransference therein the work lies.
- Know that you are planting seeds and clients' choices are their own.
- You do not know the outcome of their situation or their lives. What looks like a loss can instead be reframed and may become a powerful strength.
- It is important that you show up for your own life, that you experience the joy of your own life because you are depleting yourself when you compare your life with theirs.
- Forgive when you miss something, because you will, and then next time you won't.
- This is about you, not about them. That you feel deeply is wonderful but will you be affective if you don't sleep the night before---I own that one: )
- Find a ritual, taking off professional hat, putting on mom/wife/daughter/friend hat. Take the long way home. Journal, take notes, do art, dance,etc
- Take a shower when you get home and visualize the day (and the muck) swirling down the drain. That was today at work, there is now more to the day with family...
- And my all time favorite, make an appt w/ your therapist or like minded friends and cry, get angry, throw the tantrum, so you can be present for your job.

Maybe more than you asked for, but you're not alone and you're having a deep emotional experience each day. How lucky we are!!! Just remember there will be pain and there will be success. Each moment is different...

I could go on and on...

Jen

I am working on this myself, for health reasons and want to know other answers. I myself am attempting to divert myself by reading interesting books, or getting involved in other things. Some people have hobbies, sports, etc. I cannot seem to get the energy to do some of that. My husband watches Spanish soap operas. It transfers his feelings. I guess it's about closing the door, leaving the furniture there and coming home to a different situation. Kind of have to trick yourself into thinking you are on a vacation on a daily basis.

You are very empathetic and that's good and bad. Assure yourself you have done all you knew to do at the time to help that person. Make a list of those things if you have to before you leave work, and go over them again, that way,it is embedded that you did your part.