Learning to Clean up After Ourselves

it helps to have a place for everything. the stuff that ends up being a mess in my house is the stuff that doesnt have a well defined place of its own. another thing I learned is we all have our "everyday acceptable" and our "company clean." each persons level of tolerance for clutter is differant. Mine is quite high, my husband has zero tolerance. He wants it company clean all the time, whereas, I'm ok with toys in the living room and magazines on the coffee table. I try to get my house company clean before I start working on my organization skills. If you start with a totally clean slate, the clutter will stand out and bug you. Sort of the way no one wants to put the 1st dirty dish in the sink, but if there are already some in there, its ok to toss it in.

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I have a family of 5...been here and done it. We now have 5 plastic washable laundry baskets that get pulled out everyday at 430pm while dinner is simmering. We all do a quick pick up, everyone puts things into the baskets based on who they belong to and all dishes get to kitchen and rinsed. After dinner everyone has to put the items where they belong in their basket. We no longer have hampers everyday when they change they are expected to go by the washer and put the whites in the white basket, darks in the dark basket and the I don't know what this is in the green basket. I don't have too much separating to do before laundry and then we use their baskets to fold close into and then everyone puts their own close in the closet and drawers themselves.
We go through mail over the recycling bin, backpacks over the recycling bin and file keepers right away in the small school box we have. Bills get put in the dated folder 10 days before they are due.
Little kids love to dust so give them dust rags and have them go around to the low stuff....my 7 year old loves the vacuum, so she does that.
While your kids are young the 5 yo can be engaged in helping Mommy get things done.
For you and your husband divide the house in to a 50/50 share and when you both are home and have a day off. One watches the kids for 1 hour while the other quick cleans up their share and then the switch of the kids and then the other does their half. This is not deep cleaning this is just making sure the accumulation that occurs gets hit once a week if you all have time for nothing else. Same goes with yard work divide the yard by 1/2 and split the time outside so no one person is required to make it look great.
Good luck.

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we are the same way. when i met and married my hubby almost 2 years ago, i have been trying to make changes since he picks up way more than the kids and i do. my kids are 11 and 8 and we are trying to get better at picking up now. the thing that helped most was that i really downsized a LOT. I mean, i got rid of a bunch of stuff which has really helped. especially the kids toys. when there is a place for everything, then its easier to put everything away. i have recently learned that you can't just tell the kids "clean your room". they just don't know where to start. so hubby and i have started to take 10 or 15 min every day/night to tell the kids we are going to spend a few minutes "picking up" and he will go in with my daughter and i go with my son and direct them in picking up their rooms. literally, "put that there, put that there..." so they get it. we have also accepted that our house is never going to be spotless and we really don't care. by no means am i embarrassed if anyone stops over but i don't run around all day cleaning non stop. so my advice is to go thru the entire house and get rid of everything you don't truly love and/or need and then pick up all together. good luck!

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I struggle with this too. Big time!!! I'm really trying to change my ways. You'll have to retrain yourself and your family by making a conscience effort to stay on top of things as possible. Just little things here and there. Start with one thing a day or something like that. Check out flylady.net. She says to start out with shining your sink every night so when you wake up each morning, you have no dishes and it's completely shiney. You start there, just jump in where you are, and start with baby steps.

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OHIO=Only Handle It Once

Meaning stop leaving things around. Dishes go in the dishwasher or rinsed to be washed later. Don't put them inthe sink. Same with piles of stuff. Put things AWAY and don't start piles. It just makes it worse and overwhelming to tackle later on.

The family I take care of in the morning makes me postal because the kids are MORE than able to do it yet the parents don't do it either! It's an endless battle but slowly things are getting better. Setting a good example REALLY helps a LOT!

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Hi. I also have three....5, 3 and 1. What worked for us was hiring house cleaners to come at least once/month. It forces us to keep things picked up and organized so no big messes can accumulate. Getting ready for the cleaners to come is a pain in the neck, but when the leave, everything in the house is where it should be and the entire house is clean. We have found it to be totally worth the money.

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One trick that I use is to never leave the room empty handed. Always pick up something to take into the next room to put it away.

Also your to oldest kids need to learn to have only one toy out at a time. If they leave toys out it is time to pick it up and put it in a paper bag. If they want it back they have to earn it back by picking something up--either in the main house or in their room.

High time for the oldest especially. It is time for the oldest to set the table for dinner. She should not get an allowance for her chores. She should just do it as part of living there. She should also start picking up her clothes in her room as part of living there. If you want to give her an allowance that is fine, but it should not be tied to her chores.

The first thing is to stop leaving stuff around. Worry less about what clutter is already there and work on not adding more. Every time you see your kids adding to it point it out and make them put it away. Don't worry about the times you don't see them because it is going to happen.

So after you stop making clutter and messes start working on cleaning it.

I have the same problem. I take things out to use or work on and then jump to the next thing without picking up the first project. My main issue is having way too much going on all the time. I don't make time to organize, because I tend to give and give everywhere but to myself. I work hard at my job, my parenting, my friends and family obligations, but to myself I am guilty of just getting by. When you are running from one thing to the next for everyone else, it's hard to clean up after yourself. I'm finally learning to take care of me, and this is part of the process. I am finally exercising each day and trying to make time to organize my house and paper work too. Not sure how I got so low on the to-do list, but I guess that's what happens when it feels like there is so much to do. I set aside 15 min. to organize paperwork, 15 min. for mail and 15 min. to pick up each day, at least. That has started to help a ton. I also hired a house cleaner to come every other week and that really helps the family pick up more regularly. It's someone else telling them that their stuff has to be put away..meaning they know she can't clean very well if their stuff is all over. They really like to see it all clean. Also, with the house cleaner coming, I have more time to take care of the organizing and cleaning of random things that need to be done.

Just start putting stuff away. Once you get started it will become a habit. Try making it a game for the kids. If they think its fun they will want to help
As for cleaning all day I keep a basket in the living room and as I discover things that need to be put away if stick them in the basket and once the kids are in bed I go from room to room putting things away. .
Good luck!

Hi M.,

What works the best for us is to have a spot for everything :) I've really tried to teach my kids when they're done playing with one thing to put it away before getting a second thing out. Doesn't always happen (a lot) but I have them clean up their mess. It's helping teach them responsibility and they don't fuss too bad (some days are worse than others). The other thing that might help is to have baskets. I really like these for different things like my photoalbums or books or kids toys. It makes the clean-up a lot easier. :)

Everything needs a home - a shelf, a bin, whatever - so that it *has* a place to be put away.

De-clutter. Do you really need 16 varieties of the same thing? Do the kids really play with ALL the toys? Donate what you can and chuck the rest.

Make it a habit. It'll take a while, especially for mom and dad, but once it becomes a habit it'll just be something you do without thinking. But start small and go in baby steps. Too much too fast and you'll feel overwhelmed and give up.

There are a few 'rules' that make things easier:
1. Hands full - this means that you don't walk from room to room with empty hands; always take something with you that needs to be put away.
2. If you take it out, you put it back when you're done - this goes for toys as well as mom and dads stuff (magazines, mail, etc)
3. We do 2 'pick-ups' per day: once before lunch and once before dinner. we make it a race to see who can pick up the most toys and MOM wins :o)

My girls are 4.5 and 3 (and 6 months, but she can't help yet) and they put away their folded laundry (though it often gets 'unfolded' in the proccess), take their dirty dishes to the counter by the dishwasher, take their dirty clothes to the hamper, pick up their toys and help where they can - unloaded unbreakables from the dishwasher, dusting, putting away things other than toys, and they love to help in the kitchen, etc. At this age though the 'helping' stuff is optional. But they love it so I rarely say no!

I am having the same problem if you figure it out please let me in on the secret. My Husband & I clean up after ourselves just not my daughter & it makes me nuts.

I have a 4 year old daughter and 3 year old daughter. They both have 'chores' they help out with and they enjoy it. They like to help mom and they always get lots of praise for it. Here are some of the things they help with and/or rules in our house:
Toys stay in their rooms. Exceptions are if they want to hold a stuffed animal while watching a movie or something...but toys are not allowed to be scattered around the house.
They pick up their rooms every night before bed. It's easy to keep up with when it's done on a daily basis so that it never gets very bad.
They help out with unloading the dishwasher - mostly silverware (I take all the knives out first), plastic cups/dishes and utensils.
They put away most of their laundry and help with putting away towels, dad's socks and simple things.
The 4 year old helps wipe down the dinner table, uses the swiffer, dusts, etc.
Everything has it's place. This goes for all of us. Clearly defined toy boxes, locations for jackets, shoes, mail, etc. helps a lot.
I try to make things fun for them and the girls enjoy helping out. We will turn on music and dance while picking up their toys, etc. I suggest that you start with a couple of things and slowly work into doing more. Don't expect perfection....especially not overnight. It takes time to develop bad habits, therefore it also takes time to develop good ones.
Start with having the kids pick up their toys....really, my girls totally love dancing to music while picking up their stuff. Most of the time all of us do it together in one girls room, then the other. For you and your husband, start by putting things back in their place once you've used them. Keeping up with things is SO much easier than trying to tackle a big mess at the end of the day. Good luck!!

I havent read all the responses but here are some of ours:
I have 2 kids, I got them each a basket that throught the day they put in toys that they brought downstairs or from their rooms once they are done playing with them (if they just cannot seem to go put them away) and at the end of the day, they are required to take them to their room and put them away.
My son, who is 6, tends to read/play when he should be trying to sleep (I think he got my nightowl tendencies) and by the morning, his room is a disaster. Just this week, I got thru him that after breakfast, he is to go get dressed and he is not allowed to leave his room until he picks everything up and his room is tidy. He has done it every day without me nagging him. I only make him do it once a day but it does help.
Everytime we come in the house, I tell them to put their shoes where they are "supposed to go" - there is a bin of shoes in our laundry room that they are to put them in. I do have to remind them but they are starting to do it themselves every so often.

It will only get worse. :) Start now.
The primary things my mom & dad taught us:
*put things back where they belong (great when you need to find smthg like scissors....always in the same place)
*put game away when done before starting a new one
*put toy away before getting a new one
now do I ever become laxed? yes sometimes I'm too tired to follow up.
*everything has a home (keys by the front door, magazines in a bin, dishes in sink after dinner if dishwasher full, if i unload dishwasher I immediately load it w/dishes in the sink, shoes go bk in your room, one pair for each person by front door like flip flops for quick exit to get mail etc, I now try to do a load of clothes wash/dry/fold /put away in one fell swoop, wipe down table and kitchen counters daily, vacuum every other day (have dogs) but if you can't make sure you sweep and vacuum once a week.
*I keep those Chlorox wipes on hand to wipe down counters, fridge handles etc.

all these suggestions are great! I have struggled with this also. My mom did everything and really wouldnt let us help as kids so I didnt learn to cook or clean at all as a child and had to start from scratch as a wife and mom. So I feel your pain! Its good to learn this now and let the kids learn it too, so they wont face the same challenges when they are adults.
one thing thats helped me a lot has been having bins for every kind of toy and keeping them all stored in what we call the toy room, its actually the washer dryer room but it has storage. the kids can take out one bin at a time and have to put it back before getting a new kind of toys out.
Habits like always taking the shoes off and putting them away (and coats ) are easy enough to form. Having them put their dishes on the counter and that kind of thing is also helpful and they enjoy it!