Learning Her Abc's

Are you maybe a little obsessed with teaching her, are you making too big a deal of it? Most kids that age are eager to learn, want to play school, play teacher and so forth. Maybe you could get her to be the teacher and teach you the ABC's, you say she knows them, if it's just a thing about getting her to practice, then that might work, but if you spend too much time working with it them she might be getting bored and rebeling. Just a thought as most five year olds can't wait to go to school to them it seems like fun but it can begin to feel tedious if too much emphasis is put on it and become a chore which could put her off school. Just a thought and not a criticism. Something I've noticed in 65 years of kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews.

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Hi J.: Try playing games with her. You might want to purchase an alphabet puzzle (the wooden kind) she might like working with the wooden pieces and at the same time learning. Don't put to much energy into being serious. Give her time it will come. Continue to work with her but you need to make it fun. Things like alphabet soup, draw out the letters box style and have her color them, she might enjoy this as well as learning the letters. The main point is to be CREATIVE!

Be patient it will come.

I.

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She will eventually learn her letters - a majority of kindergarten will be spent learning letters and their sounds. There are lots of other prereading skills that you can work on if she doesn't want to learn letters right now. In order to read, it is also important to understand patterns, orders, the ability to predict what comes next, sorting. In first and second grade, so much of her day will be reading, writing, and math. This is one of your last opportunities to really study whatever she is excited about. Learn about nature, dinosaurs, planets, other countries . . . whatever excites her. A curious and well-rounded child will show up at K happy and eager to learn. The most important lesson you can give her this year is that learning is exciting and fun.

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J., She is in daycare all day where she is stimulated all day long. She needs time to rest and just be 4. All she wants in the evening is time with you and daddy. She doesn't want or need more "school". Wait until those quiet moments and slip it in. Driving down the road and she says. Oh, Mommy Mcdonalds. Say tell me ONE letter you saw in that sign. etc , don't worry it will come. Kids all develop differently. All the studies on reading etc show that early readers and late readers are all in the same place at 3rd grade. SO, while some kids develop an interest in that sort of thing earlier than others, they all end up in the same place rather quickly. Can she recognize rhyming words? That is a developmently que that she is ready for that sort of thing. Enjoy her, she will be fine and dandy. Use the little time you have together after working all day to relax and enjoy each other. It will come

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The other moms here have given you some great advice. I think the best thing is for you to try to step back and just relax. Kids are natural learners--think about how much your daughter's learned already without much pushing from you! (You know, all the baby stuff--crawling, walking, talking, etc etc.) I know it's natural to worry about your kids and it's one sign that you're a caring mom. BUT it sounds like your daughter is feeling the pressure and remember, you can't actually MAKE her learn something--she will WANT to learn it if she sees that it will be useful in her life. So as others have said, just model that information yourself--but don't make it condescending. Just notice letters and read things and be interested in it yourself but don't try to trick her into anything, don't try to MAKE her interested. It will come naturally. I know it's hard not to worry! But you will help your child out best if you just show her love, and model the things you want her to learn, and don't put pressure on her. Good luck!

My son is in pre-k and his teacher has a son the same age. she suggested that we get bathtub crayons and write the alphabet on the wall and as they recognize the letters to circle them. I haven't tried it yet, we just discussed this over P/T conferences thursday.

My son is only 3 but I've been teaching him at home for a while & I do find that when he's not in the mood, he will goof off a lot like what you describe. I know he knows the answer because he's answered before & I can see the mischievous look in his eye when he does it. I really don't know how else you could approach it. The only thing I can think of is to talk to her teacher about it & find out if she does this in class too or if she can give you any more ideas.

I have a Leap Frog refrigerator magnet toy that teaches phonics that he loves to play with & I've noticed some progress since he got it. They also have another kind where you can spell words too. In fact Leap Frog has lots of great educational toys.

Have her tell the ABC to her dad or her step brother if you are losing your cool. If she see her big bother can do them , she may decide she was to be like him. Some time good peer presser works.

My kids are 23 months and 3.5 and both know their ABC's.

We bought books for them, sing ABC's together every night at bedtime and then let them play on www.starfall.com. It is free!

It's wonderful to see a parent so involved. You are doing great! But I think maybe she's feeling a little pressured. I think the playing around is really her wanting to actually say, "Mom, I want to be a kid and play." You might have so carefully chosen activities that look like play, but she knows this stuff is serious.

Hah - reminds me of feeding my daughter solids. I sterilize stuff and mash and strain and then - big surprise - she wants to splatter it and bang it with her spoon. In both my daughter's case and yours, their idea of what to do with what we're presenting them with is not wasted.

Really, just relax and have cuddle-up story time. I think the most important thing you can do is *model a love of learning*. Have library nights once every week or two. Let her see you reading. A lot. Keep the television off. When she's curious about something, even if it's inconvenient for you, spend some time to talk about it, answer questions and tell her you love her curious mind, and that it's so fun exploring things with her.

Do this and her chances of excelling in school are huge. I didn't know the alphabet till, oh, sometime in kindergarten? And I scored 711 in the verbal part of the SAT. So, really. Relax! Just enjoy your little girl and answer that call she's making to you to play with her. Bake some cookies or something.

L.

Good Morning! One thing that I used with my son to help him learn ABCs and to recognize them was the Leap Frog Fridge Phonics Magnetic Set - it comes with all 26 letters as a magnet and a reader that you can put each letter in and it will tell you what the letter is and it signs a song, etc. and the one we got for him sings the ABCs too. This link will take you to what I am talking about, they have changed it since we bought ours but it is the same thing.

http://www.leapfrog.com/en/fridge_phonics/fridgephonics.html

I also did things with my son like when I was cooking and he wanted to help me we looked at letters on the different boxes, bags, etc. that we were using. You have to make it a game to them and not let them think that they are actually learning something.

Good luck!!

If you already have the cut-outs, use them in a different version of the Hokey Pokey - just a few letters at a time. "You put your A in, you put your A out ..." The Hokey Pokey can be changed up for shapes, numbers, etc. and is a simple & fun learning tool. Magnetic letters are good, too - my daughter had NO interest in learning the letters until she realized she could make up words on the fridge door with her magnets. If she doesn't want to do it more than a few minutes at a time, so be it. There are all sorts of free printable ABC "books" - like mini-books - she can take ownership of the letters if she creates the book (with guidance). DVDs are good, too - the "Meet the (Letters, Words, etc.)" series is a good one (http://www.amazon.com/Meet-Letters-animation/dp/B000BD68A...) that kept my busy learner's attention. Starfall.com is a good website for edutainment, as well as the JumpStart computer games.

Don't stress--she's only 5. She will get this, but right now it's more of a chore for her. Try to find ways to make it fun. Get alphabet cereal and let her feed you the alphabet. Say "I spy a letter a" and see if she can find it. Turn learning into a game, and it will be a lot more fun for her. Flash cards are just not fun. Sorry, but they're not, and I'm a teacher, lol! Most of all, don't turn this into a battle of wills. Give it a little bit of time; she'll WANT to read before too long. Good luck!

Dear J., maybe you need to take a break, she is starting to view it as a chore instead of fun. I taught my oldest daughter how to read before she started kind.she just turned 27. but..... my second daughter or my third daughter I didn't. was a lot busier then, I was worried that they wouldn't excel, turns out they did perfectly well in school,my second daughter,now 20 graduated 5th in her class with only a few pts. away from val.my third daughter is now in the 6th grade and makes straight a's, I did have a video with her that she absolutely loved, it was called Richard Scarys abc's and 123's. cute songs.... your daughter will learn her abc's. she is just feeling pressured. btw. what ever happened to kids learning at school? haha.... I didn't go to kindergarten myself, but what happened to the good ole days when you learned abc's 123's and colors and to tie your shoe and all that good stuff in 1st grade? man, society has put so much pressure on kids to learn earlier and earlier. then they made it mandatory that you go to kindergarten, and NOW they expect kids to know it all BEFORE kindergarten! wow, anyway, although my oldest daughter knew how to read when she started kindergarten, by the end of kindergarten she had fallen right in with the other children. they were all on the same level..... your baby will learn just fine with all the other children. most likely she is grasping a lot more than you think she is anyway. sometimes kids act like they aren't paying attention and they are.....hope this eases your mind. (try the video if you can find it, Landrie knew every word) gotta go keep my grandbaby now,good luck and God bless. Terri

I would consider sending her to a preschool. I have a home preschool and had to take my NOW 6yo to a preschool. She did not want ME to teach her. It worked. She is in Kindergarten and tests at above 1st grade level.

I LOVE fisher-price.com they have a number of flash ABC "games". My daycare kids love it. I try my best to make all learning fun. For instance. We go over all of the colors and then I assign each child a color and have them go bring me several items that color. When we count they get to choose to clap or stomp there feet along with us. I incorporate learning in all they do...down to what shape is your plate? What color plate do you want? How many chicken nuggets do you want? Lets count them together. Color by LETTER. Take a coloring sheet and put the letter you are focusing on in several spots. Tell her to color the "A". Remember THE ABC song is NOT important. It is recognition of the letters that is important. Many preschools do not teach ABC's in ORDER for this reason. I hope this helps

J., calm down and give her some room. If it's not fun, she's not going to want to be bothered. The school system is demanding, much more so than when I went to school, but peer pressure is still there. My son who is 7 is the same way. He did that with his colors, and his math, and his reading. But he knows his colors, and his math, and he knows how to read. He's just stubborn. I tried everything and finally gave up, taking the pressure off of the situation. After awhile, he started doing little things like pointing out colors while we were shopping, or we'd be driving someplace in the car and he'd tell me "I know what 3+3 is." Chances are she knows them and knows that she's getting a reaction out of you and thinks she's being cute. Give her some room and see what happens.

Make it fun!!!!!
Sounds to me like she is just bored/overwhelmed.
I'm a great believer in those little foam letters for the bathtub. You can find them really cheap and they work.
When you have her in the bath- just use a few at a time- and say put one on her belly.... there's an A on your belly.... there's a B on Mommy's head... so forth... make it fun.

She is still young, and of course she wants to play. That's how young children learn. Let her write her letters in pudding (on a plastic tablecloth, of course) or shaving cream. Give her time! The more you push, the more resistant she is likely to be. I've been a teacher for 17 years, and I assure you, she will be fine. She's just not ready.

Hi J.,
Honestly, I don't think you need to be concerned. Your daughter is young and doesn't really need to concentrate on that kind of stuff right now, in my opinion. I think if she's interested in it, great! But if not, it's ok. She'll be ok, lots of kids can't even say their abc's when they go to kindergarten! Don't worry!
W.

I highly recommend the DVD, Letter Factory by Leapfrog. It is great for helping kids learn the letters and their sounds. I would stop pressuring her though. She will learn her letters. If she's not interested, then pressuring her will only turn her off to it even more. I would drop the issue for a few weeks, then get the DVD and let her watch it as much as she wants.

:-) I think a kid will learn when they want to know for themselves, and will resist their parents' pressure. Kids want to please their parents, but can tell when it's "too important" to the parent and will resist just to show whose decision it is. The same thing often happens with potty training....

Bottom line - if she knows the letters, and you know she knows, then why do you need her to perform on command?

Hi J.
I would bet money that shes just bored and thats why she doesn't want to participate. Since she does know her ABCs shes probably just getting tired of doing the same thing over and over, shes not learning anything new. My oldest son is almost 8 and we have the same fight almost every day at home work time. He wants to know why he has to do it when hes been working on the same thing all day in school. I tried telling him that home work is like practice (you know the whole practice makes perfect speech) and he just comes back at me with yeah but I already know this and I make all A's, then he just looks at me like now whatcha got!? So then I'll show him more compilcated problems and show him how using his basics is going to help him with the harder stuff later. For Brooke maybe start teaching her, her basic first reading words like CAT DOG etc. Or even identifying the letters by their sound and not by name ie: instead of saying B say buh and then you still get confirmation that she knows all the letters. It also all comes down to performance some kids don't like to show what they know, like when their little and won't tell daddy what the cat says even though they've been walking around meowing all day!! On the other hand some kids love showing what hey know, my 4 yr old girl wants to tell EVERYONE, EVERYTHING, she knows. Which can get a bit annoying.
Good luck hope I helped and didn't ramble too much!
D.

Don't push her. You say you know she knows, and saying "I don't know" or calling a W a K might be her way of telling you that you're pushing too hard, and she's had enough. She'll get it right when she goes to school.
Instead of trying to teach her to recite the alphabet, just read to her, and track the text with your finger as you read. It's called voice-pointing. I did that with my daughter from the day she was born, and by the time she was 3, she was reading independently. The breakthrough came one day while I was reading "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" to her. She pointed to a word on the page and said "That says So Wipe (Snow White)." Actually, it said Sneezy, but she had made the connection between the S and the N and the sounds they made. I never tried to formally teach her to read or recite her letters.

J.,

You sound like a very conscientious mom. I am a former teacher, although not a reading teacher. But I did learn about 'learning readiness'. Also I had one child who was the only one who could motivate herself. I look back at all the issues we had, and wish I could have just not worried about anything. She is grown with several college degrees. I would say, just give it a rest, she is very young, she is smart enough to learn her ABC's if she is smart enough to pretend to not know!

Let her be a 4-year-old. I think our society puts so much pressure on parents to make sure their child is in every sport and is academically superior when they are still babies. Chances are, she's giving you are hard time, but she already knows what you are teaching her. She's just telling you in the only way she knows how that she wants to play and goof off - and just be 4. There are porbably lots of ways that you could make it fun for her, but, for now, I'd just give it a rest. There are plenty of kids that go to Kindergarten and have not mastered their letters. And, studies show that the kids that go to kindergarten "way ahead" academically are back in line with their peers by the 2nd or 3rd grade. So, there is no need to push. You have so little time with kids before they have the pressures of school, make sure that both you and she enjoy that time.

Dear J.,
My almost 3 yr old knows her ABC's but-she learned a LOT faster when she got a Leapfrog ABC thing-y (forgot the name) that goes on the fridge. There is a little note on the front that plays the abc song. She'd press that over and over. Your child can also put letters in the slots and it says the letter And all its sounds "A says A and A says Ah" etc...
Other thing that worked well (and totally surprised me) she LOVES "Superwhy" and "Word World" on PBS.
They were spelling a word the other day and asked what the first letter was and she said the correct one.
I'd advise recording the 2 above programs and letting her watch them (my little girl only sings her abc song the way 'alpha-pig' from SuperWhy does now ;-). It makes learning letters (and Spelling) Fun for the kids or for her at least. I think she's a little above the curve in learning her abc's and being able to use them and NOT b/c I've been working with her all that much-I think the things I mentioned have basically "taught" her the basics .
Hope this helps! I think she will learn it(probably knows already)when she is ready.
Good Luck,
C.

Boy J., it's seems as though you are a great mom, and your daughter is GREAT at pushing your buttons. In my experience as a mom, teacher, and nanny(big deal because none of it prepared me for actually BEING a mom, I say that if she is going to school and doing all of the above at school you might want to either; back off a little, or try visual games in the car such as; hey there is a stop sign, what letter does STOP begin with or ask her to spell stop. You can use this tool with anything, I'm sure you get the drift. Sometimes my son likes to work at home, sometimes! Other times not when he is in overload from pre-school. I try to go with the flow knowing that summertime will be soon and he is always more interested and willing to work/play to learn new things. Hang in there. Not trying to take this too lightly, but this too shall pass.
God Bless,
C. l

I highly recommend "Leap Frog Letter Factory" DVD. You can get it at Wal-Mart for about $10. My daughter just turned 4 in October and now knows all of her alphabet and the sounds they make. This is the BEST movie ever for learning ABCs and their sounds. My daughter walks around singing the song from the DVD all the time. I would just let her watch that and not stress out. She is only 4 and doesn't really have to learn her ABCs right now. I would make it more fun for her and just let her learn at her own pace.

i don't know how you feel about tv/dvd's but sounds like you are ok with it so... my son was doing the same thing - not even trying or saying "i don't know" when we had worked on "D" for a week. aaaagggghhhh! i bought the "leap frog: letter factory" and the little magnet toy that went with it - check amazon. and now he loves learning letters and not only is learning the shapes but also the sounds. good luck! i don't think my son will ever listen to me or learn from me so don't feel bad!

The first time my daughter pointed out and named a letter, I got her the Leapster Fridge phonics, it has all the letter and tells what the letter is and the sound it makes in a little song. My daughter absolutely loved it, played with it constantly, and knew all of her letters by the time she turned 2. Her sister, now 2 herself on the other hand doesn't recognize her own name...but I would try something that is less like homework and more like a toy. We also got my 4 year old a Leapster for Christmas, they have games that teach recognizing and writing letters. They are not always affordable, I got mine for $30 at WM on black Friday, (otherwise she wouldn't have gotten one)and I am really impressed with the games and how much she loves it. I might try the Leapster DVD, mentioned several times below, for my 2 year old. Don't stress yourself or her too much, it will come God bless!