Learning Disorder, Autism?

Updated on June 02, 2010
J.F. asks from Hastings, MI
24 answers

I have an 18 month old son who has checked out very well with his pediatrician up through his first year. He hit most milestones on time, walked a little later than expected, but not too bad. He got tubes in his ears at 14 months old due to having 5 ear infections his first year and the last one continued for 7 weeks and 3 antibiotics. I am beginning to worry about his development because he still only says momma and dad/dada and only on occassion. It seems he should have a bigger vocabulary. He "talks nonstop all day long, but nothing intelligible. He is VERY active, and as of late (the last 2-3 months), becoming very physically aggressive (hitting, kicking, throwing tantrums). I am worried about his development and as a SAHM feeling like a failure. I need suggestions for ways I can interact with him and teach him basic language skills and ways to know if this is just slow learning or possibly autism.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

My daughter didn't say much you could understand until she was 2 yrs old. Now she's 8 and NEVER STOPS TALKING.

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J.C.

answers from Detroit on

I know many 18-month olds that only say a couple words, plus, boys tend to be later developers in speech. This is also the age that the terrible two's start. I wouldn't worry about it yet. Just keep working with him, and if nothing changes by 24 months, then get an evaluation.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.. Speech delay does not automatically mean Autism. How is your son's eye contact with you and other people? Does he point to things...and then look to you to see if you are looking too? Does he talk your hand and lead you over to something he wants to show you? Often, these types of "social symptoms" are can be greater indicators of an issue than "communication symptoms."

Perhaps you can ask your Pediatrician to order a hearing screening by a Specialist. I think that might be a good next step. If you still have concerns, tell your Pediatrician that you want the phone number of your local Early Intervention office to have your son screened. There is no harm in having him checked-out. Even if he does not have developmental delays, the Speech Therapist who evaluates him can give you some great tips for working with your son.

The PP wrote, "As for the Autism , what happens is a child learns to speak and then around age 2 loses the ability to talk and goes back to babble/baby speak or no talking at all." THIS IS NOT ACCURATE! This *can* happen in some cases. However, many children on the Spectrum never speak their first word until many years later (ages 5-9, etc.)

If you want more info on symptoms of Autism, try this website:

http://www.autismspeaks.org/whatisit/symptoms.php

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S.O.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi J.,

I wouldn't worry too much, have you spoken with your doctor about this? My son is 17 months old and he doesn't say anything intelligible either. He doesn't have words so much as he has sounds. For example, when I say cow he goes moo, when I say cat he says meow, etc. Does your son do those things, because they count as words. He might just be working on something else right now to be interested in speaking. Some kids are just late talkers.

Throwing tantrums at this age is also in the norm. Hitting and kicking too. It's all done out of anger and frustration! Because he doesn't have words to use yet, that's how he makes his point. My son throws tantrums too, usually when he is tired or hungry. When he hits or kicks, just look at him firmly and say "No Hitting, hitting hurts" or we don't hit, that's not nice. My son gets mad sometimes and will throw toys. I will give him a warning and if he does it again, I take it away. And direct him to a new area.

As far as things you can do to interact with him, try flashcards. The ones from Baby Einstein are great. Also read to him a lot. This is how my son has learned a lot of the animal sounds. I sing to my son all the time, he now hums along to songs.

Are you in a mom's club or anything else where he can interact with kids his own age? If you are, you will see that the kids his age are doing the same things. And don't be discouraged when you hear an 11 month old using 10-20 words, they could be behind in an area where your son is excelling!

I would worry if he does not have many words by 2 1/2. Don't feel like a failure, all you can do is talk to your son, point out everything to him and name things, read to him, and he will come around.

Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Could be the ear problems kept him from hearing clearly for awhile. You might have his hearing tested. You are coming up on terrible two's time. There's a very broad range of normal and he sounds perfectly normal to me. You might want to check out "What to Expect - the Toddler Years" to read about typical mile stones and when kids reach them. Just interacting with him - playing, reading stories to him, singing to/with him - are all great ways for him to hear and practice speaking. You are doing fine and you are a great Mom.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

I understand your concern. My son was similar to what you have described at the same age. He grew out of his with patience from us and support of those that were around him. We used play therapy at the age of 3 to help and it was the best money we ever spent. He learned how to use his words and could work out his frustrations. We learned ways to work with him.

At around 3 you can go through Child Find services (local school districts can help) to have him assessed for speech and other related services if he is still having difficulty. You could call now, but 18 months may be a bit early for Child Find. However I bet they would guide you in the right direction if what you describe to them is something they handle. Doesn't hurt to call your local school district. In the district I work in ...the Child Find representative is housed in Special Education Services building.

I highly recommend play therapy at the age of 3 if you don't see much improvement. It was our life saver. My son is 8 now and is doing beautifully. He is an A honor roll student and does quite well in the behavior area as well. No speech concerns even though he was a late talker.

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Just keep talking to him and reading to him. My guess is that he has a slow start with speech because he couldn't hear before the tubes. My oldest son had 3 sets of tubes in his ears by his second birthday. He didn't walk until after he was one and he barely talked until around three! But then he took off! He was an excellent student and is a college graduate. I wouldn't start worrying yet. Just talk to him a lot. When you are in the car point out things and tell him what they are. When you have time in the afternoon sit on the couch all cozy together and read to him.

One more thing. I am a Shaklee Independent Distributor. I wasn't when my son was small, but some Mom's find that probiotics can help fend off ear infections. I wish I'd known! Probiotics also are important after taking antibiotics. I take them daily just because they help keep a healthy gut which in turn builds immunity. This is really something to consider. Here are a couple of links for you:
http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...
http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...
the second link is a vitamin powder with a prebiotic. Prebiotics help to fuel the probiotics.
Email me if I can help or answer any questions.

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B.K.

answers from Detroit on

Patience is sometimes the key. My son now 6yr old did not start talking until he was about 21/2 yr old. He also had to have tubes placed in his ears at 11 months old. He suffered from continuous ear infections since he was born. Almost all of my nieces and nephews have to have tubes. It makes you think what is going on with our children these days, when they are all born with the same problems. Sometimes if the child does not have other siblings in the house to learn from it will cause a little delay in some things. You can always have play dates with other children his age and the interaction will help him pickup on language, walking and any other developmental issues you have. He does sound like a normal 18 month. The tantrums are normal. When he is having a tantrum you can always pickup one of him most interactive toys and try to play with him and this may take his mind off of whatever he is upset about. I don't believe your child has autism, sometimes that it just the issues we are faced with and we have to work a little harder to keep them on track.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Don't worry...you're definitely not a failure. Good moms worry about their kids and always want the best for them.

As far as his speech goes, I think it's a great sign that he is "talking" all day long. I had a cousin that didn't say anything until after he was 3. I have heard several kids, mainly boys it seems, with un-intellible speech at that age. Have you tried teaching him sign language? My son speaks pretty clearly but he has big sis that talks non-stop and "teaches" him words all the time. We also do sign language and I think that really helps. I think it's easier for him to sign he is hungry when he is really hungry than say it. I have also noticed he learns certain words faster that he knows the signs for.
The kicking, hitting, tantrums.....he is at that very magical age of 18 months. That is the age when your child, my child, and most other parent's kids become very different from the very sweet calm angels they once were :-)

I was told it ends at three. My daughter turned three and I was told it ends at 4. Now I'm hearing it ends at 5. Hang in there!!!!

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

hi-
Here are speech milestones age 1-2 years (from American speech and hearing association http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/12.htm) :
What should my child be able to do?
Hearing and Understanding:
• Points to a few body parts when asked.
• Follows simple commands and understands simple questions ("Roll the ball," "Kiss the baby," "Where's your shoe?").
• Listens to simple stories, songs, and rhymes.
• Points to pictures in a book when named.
Talking:
• Says more words every month.
• Uses some one- or two- word questions ("Where kitty?" "Go bye-bye?" "What's that?").
• Puts two words together ("more cookie," "no juice," "mommy book").
• Uses many different consonant sounds at the beginning of words.

From: http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-18-month-olds-language-a...
“At a year and a half, most children speak a dozen words (or more) clearly. Besides "Mama" and "Dada," favorite words include "bye-bye," "milk," "cookie," "car," "oh!," and "my." Many 18-month-old toddlers can also link two words together to form rudimentary sentences — sentences without linking verbs or other connecting words. She may say "All gone," "Want ball," or "Me up.
Your 18-month-old probably still does a lot of babbling in imitation of the adult conversations she hears. With increasing frequency, though, you'll hear clear words in the midst of the chattering. (If your child can't say at least two words by now, be sure to mention it to her caregiver at her next well-child visit; your caregiver may wish to test her hearing or have a speech pathologist do an evaluation.)"

As for linking speech to autism - lack of speech does not necessarily mean autism. there are several other diagnoses that cause lack of speech (e.g. apraxia). the aggressive behaviors may be occurring due to his frustration of not being able to communicate. you can try sign language.
some good websites are:
http://www.signingtime.com/ ,
http://www.signingtimekids.org/ (games, printable work, songs etc),
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaSaGhWKb24&NR=1,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqpXt14RVVY ( you can also search for “baby signing times” -- this one is adorable! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHwg17I2hNQ

I would also recommend that you validate his feelings and explain why you think he is feeling a certain way (“you are mad that mommy took the toy. But it is time to eat. You can play later”). Use picture books to label emotions (point at the pictures and talk about how this animal/person is mad, happy, sad, scared, etc) and talk about why they feel that way (e.g. this boy is sad because it’s raining and he wanted to play outside).

Last if you are concerned (and he is not meeting the above milestones for speech), I would consider talking to your pediatrician for a speech referral.

Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

He is only 18 months so alot of his words won't be complete words yet , and saying momma , dada is normal. My youngest is 20 months and has a vocabulary of around 5 words that you know what she is saying (although does not say the complete word yet) and the rest is just babble. Also as he had trouble with his ears and ended up with tubes , that can also cause a little delay in the speaking , he has spent the first year hearing as though he ears are under water so would not have heard words/sounds properly. My 4 yr old has just had tubes put in and her speech still isn't quite as it should be. Don't worry about it , he is perfectly normal , if by the time you have his 2 yr well child his vocabulary is still the same then ask the doctor then. As for the Autism , what happens is a child learns to speak and then around age 2 loses the ability to talk and goes back to babble/baby speak or no talking at all.

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K.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Ear infections, tubes can all mean he couldn't hear for some or all of that time which would cause speech delays.

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

Try calling Early On (1800EarlyOn) and scheduling an evaluation. They will evaluate his language and behavioral development. Their Web site is www.1800earlyon.org/ We had good luck with them. My now almost-five yo daughter qualified for a speech and language therapist and is now right where she should be language wise. Best of luck

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E.C.

answers from Detroit on

Is it possible that your son has experienced some hearing loss as a result of the ongoing ear infections? If he's not hearing other people well, he's not going to be able to develop his own language skills. You don't mention whether or not it seems as though he responds to questions or directions coming from you, but if he does not, it may be that he can't hear you.

If his ears are fine, in my experience, the most powerful things you can do for his language skills include:
1) Talking to him a lot! Seriously, it'll feel like you're doing a running commentary on life, but kids learn from things like "now we're going to put on your shoes, can you show me your foot?" Even if he doesn't respond to questions right away, he'll start to learn.
2) Read to him--particularly books that have a nice rhythm/rhyming structure.
3) Sing to him--another great way to introduce words.
4) Don't stress too much--kids develop at their own pace and you won't be able to hurry your son along if he's not ready. You're taking good care of him, and the fact that you're concerned about his language skills shows that you are an involved, caring mother.

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Z.S.

answers from San Francisco on

hi :) i have a 2 1/2 year old son and i am having him tested for autism. he too, got tubes in his ears when he was 14 months old due to chronic ear infections. he had one or two ear infections every month for almost 6 months. he also gets upper respitory infections often and has severe asthma. he talks alot but some things are not understandable. when he was your son's age, he was very active but he could not communicate well. he was only able to say momma and dadda and a few small words but usually he would grunt or point when he wanted something. he also started to be very aggressive and combative and would hit people or break or throw things when he would get upset and sometimes just for no reason. he still does it and as he got older he also started hitting himself when he gets upset and sometimes bangs his head against the wall. he is very hyper and sometimes uncontrollable. his pediatrician has been telling me nothing is wrong with him since he was 12 months old when i first expressed my concern about his behavior ( i forgot to mention that he doesnt sleep well. he wakes up screaming and crying in the middle of the night or sometimes i wake up to him playing with toys or breaking things) and recently, at his last appointment, i filled out a questionare about austism and the doctor said he seemed fine to him and that maybe i just needed to try and teach him how to communicate better. i told him i wanted early interventing to evaluate my son and i made an appointment. as a mother of 3, i know my son is different and i can assure you that mothers know when something is wrong with their child. i am convinced something is wrong with my son whether it is autism or something else and i am determined to find out not only for my own sake but for his as well. i urge you to do whatever it takes to help your son. dont be alarmed and automatically assume he isnt normal but if u feel something isnt right it probably isnt. pediatricians do what they have to do to make sure our childens' health is as it should be and they are safe. but most of them dont have the time to evaluate our childrens' mental status. as long as the child is happy, healthy, and active they usually say there isnt anything wrong or its probably terrible two's or the most common one i hear is he's a boy. i would recommend talking to a specialist about his behaviour. someone who specializes with autism or mental and behavioural issues in children. i hope all goes well and god bless you and your family :)

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B.S.

answers from Detroit on

Obviously I'm not a medical doctor, nor do I have a child with autism or a learning disorder.
But...I do have 3 boys, and I would say that based on what you wrote only, your son sounds "normal" to me. Boys tend to do things later than "average" (walking, talking), and tend to be more physical than girls - especially at the age he's at!
Don't beat yourself up - as long as your pediatrician isn't concerned about his milestones, then I wouldn't worry.
With my boys, I just talk to them all day long. "Oh, that's a nice red ball!" and "thank you for sharing your toy with the dog" and "how do we ask nicely for more milk?" and then praising their efforts in learning new words. We also read a LOT of books, over and over (and OVER!) again.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

I'd check with your local intermediate school district about getting him evaluated for speech or other delays. I bet the ear problems just delayed his speech but his inability to verbally express himself has made him frustrated. I'd gently work on the tantrums and keep telling him that, though he feels pretty angry, you won't allow the hitting and kicking. Don't feel like a failure please!! Something is going on and it made not be nearly as serious as you fear. My latest-walking daughter has an MBA degree, and my biggest hitter-kicker is a doctor now. Hang in there and love/enjoy your son! He'll probably surprise you! But do get him looked at for speech. There is state funding to provide early intervention programs in every school district and they'd work with you and him in his preschool years if they find he's delayed.

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M.T.

answers from Detroit on

You should check with your local Early On program. They can evaluate your son and see if he needs any help. They do not cost anything and only work with children up to 3 yrs old with delays and such. Good Luck. :)

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S.M.

answers from Detroit on

Your child does not sound like there are any learning disorders here. I'd have her checked to be sure her hearing is good. If she has fluid on the ears she isn't hearing like she normally would. Talk with your doctor about this and hae a thorough check of her ears. Being very physical is normal at this age. I'm not saying you should allow her to hit, kick, throw tantrums etc.. I'm just saying it starts at this age.

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

hi there,
this seems like a lame answer but did you see that thing on tv that teaches your kids to read, even very young kids? i was thinking about getting that for our daughter. i cant remember what its called but i'm sure you can google it! a friend of ours kid didnt talk too much and she seemed almost 2 so i was wondering about her but i think its all in time plus her mom always talks for her so i dont know if that is part of the problem? but mabey he has tantrums bc he cant get across what he wants? does he watch tv alot? this is dumb but i swear our daughter learned tons from watchign elmo/sesame st ALOT????
good luck sorry my answer was not that good

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C.K.

answers from Detroit on

This sounds a lot like what happened with my daughter, who is now 3. He may just have a bit of a speech delay, it doesn't necessarily mean autism. Have him tested, but more than likely, if you get him into speech therapy, he'll catch up and the tantrums will lessen. My daughter started Speech Therapy at 19 months and now has a very large vocab, and doesn't tantrum as much because she can use her words to tell me what's bothering her. She is still hard to understand sometimes. Her pronounciation still needs work. It does take time, but you'll get there. Hang in there! :)

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P.B.

answers from Detroit on

My son was very similar in that he had had tubes put in his ears at 14months of age due to numerous ear infections and at 18 months was not speaking much, most was baby babble all the time. He did not have any hearing problems, I knew, from his ENT, so I was able to rule that out. I contacted the Early On program as noted by many mom's above at my local ISD. They were wonderful!! It's a free program and they come to your home to do an evaluation. They evaluate everything, not just speech. I found out my son was actually advanced in many things and only 2-3 months delayed in speech. They said it often happens with boys due to boys most often being focused on their gross motor skills. They gave me a ton of reading material and pamphlets with advice and things to try and told me not to worry. They re-evaluated him at the age of 2, 6 months later, after I had been using much of the advice from the pamphlets and from speaking with them. He was found to be right on par for his age! They are absolutely wonderful to work with. If you are worried, I would highly recommend contacting your local ISD for the Early On program.

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A.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I could have written this letter about 15 years ago about my son. We tried speech therapy but it was in a group setting with only about 10 minutes of one on one time three times a week. Finally, I sat down with him and worked with him on repeating the individual letter sounds, both short and long sounds for the vowels, also. Within three days, he was talking up a storm. He was about 2 1/2 years old when I did this, but it had great results. Some kids just need the sounds broken down individually. Also, our pediatrician said not to worry until he's 2 years old, but in looking back, I wish I would have started earlier because some of that anger might be because of not being able to communicate better. Good luck.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Don't feel like a failure! You are staying home with him, interacting with him, and looking to get him help! That is not failing him!! My first suggestion would be to sign up for Parents as Teachers...I'm sure they have it in your area or something like it. It is free, usually through the school district in which you live and they will help guide you on what is "normal" for his development. They come to your house and everything...it rocks! Secondly, continue what you're doing. Talk to him all the time and explain everything you're doing from cooking dinner to tying his shoes. He's getting to the age where he wants to communicate and maybe just doesn't have all the skills so he gets frustrated, that could be where some of the hitting and tantrums are coming from.

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