28 answers

Laughing It Off

what do you think about laughing an issue off. like if your child has done something and your trying to lighten the situation by making a joke out of it, particularly if their being really big brats. i would think it would be damaging to the seriousness of the situation but then im usually blamed for being too serious. what do you think?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

It all depends on the situation. What did the kids do? Sometimes a good laugh is the best thing, but other times it just adds fuel to the fire.

1 mom found this helpful

Looove it! I do it often, especially if it is a situation that I would tend to overact with. Also, when they are being ridiculous brats or whiners. My kids usually know that I'm being sarcastic at those times and don't like it, so they stop. If it is a mistake that they have made, I tend to overreact when in hindsite, it's not that big of a deal, then I try to make a joke out of it, laugh it off, make a really silly face or noise. It lightens the situation, relieves any fears my child may have, reminds me that mistakes happen and the child is more important. Then, the explanation of how to avoid it next time is listened to carefully by my children. It helps a lot - especially when you are having a bad day. Laugh it off! My grandma used to say - well, I can laugh or I can cry. I choose to laugh.

I agree, this is a serious problem. Children who are never shown the consequences of their actions will grow up expecting Mr Policeman to treat them the same way that Mommy did. It's unfair on the child, letting them think they can get away with anything while they're young only to have to face the big bad world when they grow up.

However, I do also think it may have it's place (though not very often), because when my 12mo started learning to throw tantrums, flopping to the floor, throwing things I had given her and sometimes screaming a little, I had no idea what to do. So I would laugh at her, and then ignore her until she would be a good girl again. It only took three times or so for her to realize that she wanted my attention more than she wanted to get mad at me.

More Answers

I mean this in the most polite manner. I have read several requests from you these last two weeks. GIRL!!!....YOU THINK TOO MUCH!!!
Stop disecting everything to death. Go with that "Mommy instinct" that God gave you. Do what your heart and gut tell you. I, for what its worth, wouldnt let some "expert" tell me how to raise my child.
Listen to your Mom, Aunt, Grandmother, Mother-in-law, sister, etc, etc,.....
Dont make it so complicated. Your kiddo will pick up on it.
I have found that these ol' ladies in the family have advice and know-how that far exceeds any old man that wrote a book to make a buck. I wish you much luck and hope that you and your family thrive...

M. :)

P.S....and after all...they are kids...their pretty resiliant!!!

2 moms found this helpful

Pick your battles very carefully and use humor to your best advantage. You and your children need lots of laughter and fun in your lives, but you also do not want your kids to be brats. Make sure they know where their limits are. Your humor and laughter can help your children sort out what is important and what is just stuff. In parenting 3 children, I have found humor to be my most important asset, especially dealing with teens. I would have lost it so many times if I had not been able to see the humor in many of the situations I found myself in. Many times my husband and I would secretly laugh about the situations, but our kids never knew about us laughing, but it was an important release for us, so many times. I believe you are on to something very, very important, just know when to use it and when to get serious. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hey M.!
I think that it would probably make it seem ok to be brats & they'd keep doing it. I agree with what you said about it being damaging to the situation, but I guess it depends on what the situation is! I've got a 14 1/2 month old & I've noticed if I end up laughing at something he does that is naughty, he usually does it again. It's hard for him to understand why he would get in trouble the second time & not the first. I hope this makes sense!
Good Luck!
R.

1 mom found this helpful

Your request reminded me of an incident that happened with my 3 year old recently. We were sitting down to dinner and before we had a chance to pray, he started yelling "I have no food on my plate!" repeatedly.

You've got to know I'm usually the straight forward corrector of behavior, with a "now J. we need to pray and then we can eat," or some such response that might end with having to leave the table or other swift measures. (I'm the serious one of the parents)
But my husband was home and sitting with his jaw almost dropped because J. was yelling, "I have nooo food on my plate" etc. really being an insistant little brat. Before I knew it my husband took a spoon of broccoli and put it on his own plate, looked at J. and said "Well, I've got food on mine!" We were stunned, (my h. nevvver is unkind) The kids (and I'll admit I, ) burst into laughter, we were so surprised, and J.'s jaw dropped (I didn't know what J. would do it this point...what was going on in that little brain?) And you know? He started laughing too! He didn't want to be left out of the joke and knew that he was part of the family by laughing too. It just may be the first time he's laughed at himself.

He's never thrown a fit like that again. Nor does he seem to be damaged...he's smiling and not as jealous of our one year old right now.

Now I wouldn't make that a template for dealing with behavior, but I would agree with another that wrote that we should trust our instincts (I believe these are God given) and not look for formula responses. When we have the best interests of our children and family in mind and we are loving by nature sometimes it doesn't hurt to do the unexpected...You can only judge the situation & trust that God will help you discern what to do.

If everything is serious all the time, conflict really can escalate. Laughter although not always appropriate really can eleviate tension.

1 mom found this helpful

It all depends on the situation. What did the kids do? Sometimes a good laugh is the best thing, but other times it just adds fuel to the fire.

1 mom found this helpful

joking in front the of kids is undermining the discipline but i think joking to friends about it is necessary to keep things in perspective and to keep our sanity!

1 mom found this helpful

I believe you have to pick and choose your battles. Children learn through their mistakes as do adults. As parents, we are there for support, to help pick them back up when things go wrong. I believe we should guide our children in life, but understand that they are going to make mistakes and let them know it's okay to make mistakes. Love and laughter are the keys to a happy life. Showing your kids that it's okay to laugh when they've made a mistake is a good way to teach them not to beat themselves up about things, which will help them a lot in life. It shows them it's okay, we learned from it now lets move on.

Hi M., When I see parents laugh when their chidren are being brats, especially in public places or in social settings I attribute it to a type of nervous laughter because they don't know how to properly handle the situation. I wouldn't laugh at any behavior that I don't want repeated. Unless of course it was a legitimate accident & my child didn't mean to do something. For example when I was a kid my mom had all 3 of us at the grocery store & one of us accidently knocked down a huge display of Reynold's Wrap. At the moment it happened she was embarrassed but we all laughed about it at dinner. Now if we had done it on purpose, that would not have been a laughing matter. We would have been in trouble for being destructive. I'm sure my parents would have laughed later on about it, but not in front of us. There is a fine line we walk as parents between being too stern & too lax. We all have to find our appropriate balances for our own families.

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