Lately It Seems likeEVERY Time My in Laws Change My Sons Diaper He Gets a Rash??

Hello N.,
Once again you are concerned about the care that your in laws are giving your child and you. I would have to again ask you why are you nothaving someone else be the caregiver for the child?? Then you would have to pay them to give the kind of care you are always expecting. Have you made sure that they have the kind of babywipes that you like and use them right or have plenty of clean washcloths to use so that the same one is not used overagain to wipe a childs bottom?
Considering the frustration you have expressed before I hope that you will make it easier on yourself. Some Grandparents are not even willing to watch a child I know that mine seldom did and not for my working. Is there any way possible to have a quiet conversation with them and your husband and work thingsout? I really hope that you find a way to make peace in a difficult situation. Nana Glenda

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We went through this EXACT thing with my in-laws/daughter. She knew the baby was getting a rash when in her care, and used all the same supplies- for the life of us we could not figure it out, but it happened when and only when she came home from there. One time my husband & I were in the room when she changed the diaper, and lo and behold- she didn't wipe her!!! We were both stunned, and said to her she had to wipe, even if it was just pee! (she stated she always wiped- it was just this one time, well duh, obviously not since we had just solved the 'mystery') Don't know if this could be your situation, but thought I'd throw it out there...good luck! (P.S. our daughter stopped getting rashes after that incident...hmmmm)

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Dear N.,
Many things could be causing this.
When my daughter was teething, she got a rash everytime she pooped. My mom took care of her while I worked and I know for a fact that my mom kept her clean, never used baby wipes...we didn't even use disposable diapers. Getting mad at my mom would have been shooting myself in the foot. My daughter tended not to have messy diapers at night or in the early morning, it happened on my mom's watch and she certainly had no control over that.
If your in-laws are changing your baby at your home, in your presence, just watch to see how they go about it. If they are taking care of your baby in your absence, tell them you are concerned about the rashes and to only use the things you send in the diaper bag for changing. No baby wipes. They sting and burn sensitive skin so have a supply of washcloths that you wash at home in Ivory Snow Baby Detergent.
My daughter was so sensitive that she was naked from the waist down or in cotton training pants by 10 months to make sure her tushy could breathe. My mom was totally on the same page but rashes still happened.
I don't think your in-laws intend to give your baby diaper rash, so sweetly say that you want to work together to keep it from happening anymore. Ask them to show you what they do, what they use. Another thing you can do is send x amount of diapers, tell them they are the only ones to use, and count how many diapers they've gone through at the end of the day. You should be able to tell by that if it's a matter of just not changing enough.
I know it's hard, but in the meantime, try not to be accusatory.
I did daycare and I had a mom that confronted me over not using diapers during the day on her 4 year old. That's when I told her the child was potty trained and used the toilet at my house like the other kids. I sent the diapers home because he didn't use or need them anymore. She didn't believe me at first because he still used a diaper at home. She assumed I was only leaving him in the diaper he came in all day long without changing him.
My point is, don't assume the worst and engage them in helping with the diaper rash as opposed to telling them they are the only reason it ever occurs. It could be a matter of something simple. If you are certain they are neglecting or harming your child, then you have to make sure they aren't responsible for changing him anymore.
I wouldn't rush to that assumption though. Anyone who loves a baby doesn't want them to have a diaper rash.

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first of all maybe it is just coincidence>
BUT, the issue may not be how they are changing him, but rather how LONG they are leaving poop in his diaper before changing him. That is what usually causes rash, when it goes unchecked too long. . .

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The exactly same happened to me. My daughter had a rash when each time my mother changed her, when she visited.
Luckily, she was not defensive and SHE asked me to watch, so we could figure out what the problem was and fix it. It was in our home, so she used our products.

The problem was that she didn't let my daughter's bottom dry enough before putting a new diaper. My daughter is very sensitive and if her bottom isn't dry enough after I wipe her, she gets a rash.
The same happened the first time the nanny changed her.
She just need to have a completely dry bottom before putting on a new diaper. At night time, I always put some diaper rash cream as prevention also.

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Are they using baby wipes or washcloths? I know lots of older people still use wet washcloths instead of wipes and they are too rough on a baby's tender skin. Make sure they are using the wipes and if they are using wipes and still hurting him, then don't let her change him anymore.

My son has very senstitive skin and I know what you are talking about, he can't even drink apple or orange juice or eat certain foods without getting a blistering diaper rash. Some kids are just more senstive then others so keep in talking to your in laws and explain that they have to very gentle or just don't let her watch him anymore. Good luck!

If they are using the products that you use, there shouldn't be a problem unless they aren't changing him often enough. I had this problem with a daycare w/my 14 mo old daughter. I complained 3 times due to 3 issues and they finally started using Aquaphor with changes. This still didn't fix the problem of infrequent changes BUT it did provide a barrier to protect her without harsh chemicals. Once they used it with every change the rashes went away. We were only there for about 3 more weeks and switched to a better day care that changes her more frequently and she is back to rarely needing Aquaphor. Good luck.

Several possibilities here, and let's start with the least "worrisome".

The first possibility is "product". Both of my sons had sensitive skin, but my second is especially sensitive and prone to diaper rash problems. We use almost exclusively products without added fragances or chemicals for him. The littlest things can make a difference. Even aloe (which is supposed to be soothing, right?) irritates his skin, so it's unscented, fragrance-free, gentle care baby wipes. Texture can make a difference even among these. Huggies seem to work well for him. We have had less success with others (Costco and Target's brands). Diaper rash cremes can also make a difference. The creamy Desitin type is not so good. Petroleum based is better, the basic A&D seems to do the job well. Bottom line (no pun intended) is that if your in-laws are using different products than you use at home, it could be causing the problem.

Second possibility, diet. Some foods are more irritating to the intestinal tract than others, and may cause his stool to have a higher level of acidity. So, if either you or your in-laws is feeding him spicy foods, or allowing him to eat a lot of raisins/applesauce/citrus fruits, if he is processing that food at their house, it could irritate his bottom.

Both of these are worth thinking about and easy to work with them to resolve. On the downside, if these are not the problem, and it is "something they are doing," it is more likely that they are not changing him frequently enough and that he is sitting in dirty diapers too long, than that their wiping technique is the problem. Obviously, this is something that you would have to address with them too.

I would suggest approaching the whole issue as something that you need their help with. Tell them you need their assistance to figure out what is causing his skin irritation, so you can eliminate the problem and he won't suffer...

Hope this helps. Best of luck.

Question,when he is at home does your child get rashes with you? Is it in the diaper area only? Are you and your inlaws using the same kind of diaper and lotions and creams?If it happens with you it may be the type of diaper or creams. If not make sure that your inlaws are using the same things you are. You may have to purchase it and and leave the same things you use with them. If that isn't the answer then you may find that the child has been left in the diaper too long whether it be from moister or from bowel. Now moister can be from extreem heat from the plastic diaper. If the house is too hot that plastic does not help. Or it could be from urine left on the body not being dried properly. With the doctor saying about scrubbing too hard it make me think of bowl being caked on the childs bottom where he has to be scrubed to get the bottom clean. Try wet wipes it may help and make sure that the diaper is not too loose or to tight. There is a cream called "Sween cream" it helps with redness and irritation ask your doctor if it would be right for your child and you can purchase it from the drug store or walmart. Vaseline is good also, what ever cream is used make sure that it gently rubbed into the skin you dont need a whole lot of it.I hope this helps. As far as for the inlaws ask them if it would be alright for you to watch and see how they change your babys' diaper because your worried about the rash on his bottom. You don't have to get frustrated somethimes it helps to talk. In a nice way. Just let them know that you are just conserned and you know that they love him and you love him also and you just want him to feel better. Hopefully they will be as conserned about it as you are. It seems to me that you have kept you feelings in too long and now it's time to talk. Pray and ask God to help you be able to get your conserns through to them. God bless

I suspect some kind of hand lotion, soap, or perfume on the changers hands...

I occasionally have strong reactions to new lotions and detergents, but I am not generally the "allergic" type.

Maybe just say something like, "I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be the only one to change my son's diaper for a while because whenever anybody else changes it, he gets a rash and I want to try pinpointing the problem. If I am the only one changing it and I know exactly what happens each time he is changed, I can more easily figure out what is going on. I don't want to offend anybody, and I'm sorry if I have, but my son is just so miserable when he gets this strange rash and I want it to go away."

Could be the wipes. If he gets a rash don't use any creams. Use only wipes that have been rinsed out with water so no parfume is on them and use corn starch baby powder and get him in a warm bath. The water helps keep it CLEAN!

Hi,
I'm wondering if the diapers are the same that you use. My folks used a different kind and that would irratated my son's bottom too. Or maybe suggest to your in-laws, powdering his bottom. Using the "Dr." is a smart way to go. Good luck!

Nineine,

I think the tone of your message sort of indicates you’re not too close with your mother and father-in-law and they may be your child’s caretakers? Are they paid for their services or are they doing your and your husband a favor?

There are some children who can be perfectly clear (no diaper rash at all) and the very next change their little bottoms are as red as a beet. This could be from a number of things, diet, fever, and allergic reaction to the cloths washing products you use, soap and yes aggressive wiping. But I must say, I rarely hear of or have seen people wiping a baby’s bottom aggressively. Have you observed your mother or father-in-law doing this?

There are a few ways you can address “this problem”:

· In a polite and non-accusatory way, ask them to use the baby wipes you use and only the ointment you bring.

· Change the laundry products your are using and bathing soap

· Ask your husband to talk with his parents.

· Find a new childcare provider that will follow your instructions

Blessings.....

It sounds like they may not be changing him often enough. I would tell them to be sure to check/change his diaper every hour and a half to give them a concrete idea of what you want. That should help? Also, give them a tube of diaper rash cream to have on hand so if they see any redness at all to put that on him. I hope that helps!

It's your son's health. I would say something. Ask them to change him in front of you so you can observe what they are doing. Say that something must be different because he tends to get a rash after they have changed him. Is it the changing and wiping harshly OR are they waiting too long to change him and he's sitting in a wet diaper too long between changes?? That would be my guess.

Are they using different products than you are? Are they using a wet wash cloth (old school, some still do) and you use wipes? Are you using desitin or other onitment and they aren't? Are they using a different brand of diapers? When in doubt, bring YOUR stocked diaper bag and say "His Dr says to only use this stuff until we find out if he has an allergy."

It could possibly be the wipes they are using. My granddaughter gets a rash if anyone uses any kind of wipe except the ones that come from Sms's Club,the store brand.

They live in a small town and the nearest Sam's club is 1.5 hours away. My daughter is adament about not using anything but Sam's Wipes. Check and see what brand of wipes they have at their house. My granddaughter is apparently allergic to something in all other wipes including the expensive name brands.
Good Luck,
J.

Could it be that he's reacting to a hand cream they use on their hands and don't realize he might be allergic to it? Do they use all they same supplies that you use when you change him? It might be they are scrubbing him too hard with a rough washcloth. Changing him yourself is most likely the best way to make sure your sons skin is not harmed. Just tell the in laws you are monitoring for a possible allergy and need to change him yourself. Could also be they are not all that comfortable with changing babies anymore after all these years and are looking for a way out of it. That means they will not be able to baby sit him until he's potty trained.