Late Puberty!!

Updated on June 06, 2011
K.R. asks from Phoenix, AZ
22 answers

Hello,
So my daughter is 13 and turning 14 this year and she hasn't gotten her period yet, she's had discharge for 2 years and it hasn't come yet, she gets a lot of cramps mostly once every month, but I don't know when its coming! Help

Sincerely,
Kylie

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

What does the doctor say? Is she underweight?
I didn't start until I was close to 14 so it doesn't seem abnormal to me (I was average size and weight.)
My own daughter started at 13 and a half, again average size and weight.

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S.G.

answers from Phoenix on

I wouldn't worry. If it makes you feel better, I was 17 before I started my period. I thought something was totally wrong with me, but my younger sister was the same way. We are all different. I wouldn't worry, she should be counted as LUCKY! :)

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Don't worry. Late is better than too early.
Some girls are starting their periods at 9 and 10 these days. Way too early and unhealthy!
The early periods are often induced by high fat diets full of a lot of chemicals and hormones.
These girls will be at much higher risk for cancer later on in life.
Your daughter will follow your cues on this...if you are stressing, she will stress. If y'all relax and let nature happen, it will happen.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

count your blessings!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My stepdaughter didn't get her period until she was 15. There is a wide range of normal for this. If she's worried, she could see a doctor for a check-up.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My oldest didnt get hers until just after she turned 15. My 2nd daughter had hers by 13. They are all different. I dont think the pediatrician was going to worry until 16.

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Honestly, she isn't late. Sounds like she's right on time. It is rough though because so many girls are entering puberty EARLIER now it can feel like she's behind. The discharge and cramping are signs that she actually has started puberty, she just isn't menstruating yet. If she has started developing breasts, she has started puberty as well. Talk to her doctor if you're actually concerned.

In the mean time, make sure she knows what's coming. Have some panty liners and thin tampons on hand in the bathroom.

Otherwise, just enjoy it! Not having a period or needing a bra are not bad things ;-)
HTH
T.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Late bloomer - like me.

I was 14 when I started, but did not have parent who were concerned either way.

Is your daughter otherwise a normal and healthy weight? Is she super athletic and thin? Or perhaps you eat a balanced, nutritious and low-hormone laden diet?

She's still right in the bell curve so count your blessings.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I started when I was 16 (actually on my birthday, thanks, mother nature!) and I was fine. Everyone's different.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

14 is not late!! Just because some poor girls are entering puberty at 9, doesn't make that "normal" or healthy. I was almost 16 when I got mine.

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M.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I was exactly like your daughter. I had cramps for months before mine showed up at around 14. The bad news is that if her cramps are strong, she may have even stronger ones when it actually starts. Mine didn't go away till I had my son. Talk to her doctor if you are concerned but I wouldn't worry too much yet.

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C.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I also have a 13, almost 14 year old who hasn't started yet either. I started 2 weeks before my 14th birthday and my mother in law was 15 when she started. By comparison, my sister was 11. Everyone is different and "normal" is subjective.

One time, in a PMS fit, I calculated how many days of my life had been spent dealing with my period. At that time, it was somewhere around 1600 days. All the more reason to be glad she's a late bloomer.

Schedule an appointment with her Pediatrician to make sure everything is okay. It'll make you feel better.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I was 15...no one seemed worried about me. I really wouldn't sweat this yet!

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Also look at family history of when periods were started. If a good portion of your family started 12-15 or so .. then she's not late. Also puberty isn't just getting a period, has she started getting pubic hair, breasts (or breast buds), has her persperation changed, has the hair on her legs and underarms changed/started to grow? These are all indicators of puberty.

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

I was about 3 months shy of 14 when I had my first period.

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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

A healthy age is 12-15; the latter will be for those girls that are more athletic (I was 15 and very athletic).
You mention your daughter gets cramps every month; has that been for a long time? If so, you may want to have that checked.
I found this online, by Dr Judith Reichman: (ps, I learned something about the breast budding) :)

"I tell moms, and their daughters that they can roughly figure out when the first period will "arrive" based on when their breast buds develop (thelarche). A girl's first period usually occurs within two to three years after that early breast roundness appears. However, we know that the interval can be longer (three years or more) in girls who have early onset of breast budding (before the age of 8) compared to girls with a later onset of breast budding."

"You should not be concerned about your daughter's cycles unless:

She hasn't started her period within three years of developing breasts.

She hasn't started her period by the age of 13 and shows no signs of breast budding or pubic hair development (pubertal sexual changes).

She hasn't started her period by the age of 14 and also has signs of excess hair growth.

She hasn't started her period by the age of 14 and exercises excessively or has an eating disorder.

She hasn't started her period by the age of 14, but has monthly cramps.
This could be a sign of an imperforatehymen, which is preventing the visible flow of menstrual blood.

She hasn't started her period by the age of 15.

After the initial period her cycles are very irregular.

Her menstrual cycles have started but then don't occur for 90 days."

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C.S.

answers from Flagstaff on

My daughter is 13.5, she has had exactly 2 periods in 2 years, both while visiting her dad in California. I talked to the doctor about this and he said it could have been stress induced. He also said not to worry unless she doesn't start a regular cycle by 16. My daughter is NOT atheletic, but we only feed her home grown protein (we raise our own chickens-meat and eggs, steers and pigs) which have no hormones. She has had small breats for over 3 years, but lately seem to be getting bigger. I think the most important thing is that she is aware of what lies ahead. I, too, like most mothers of daughter can get anxious for this phase of growing up. Now that it is obviously getting closer I wish it could slow down. ;-)

Good Luck!

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You might want to take her to an oby/gyn now just for a check up.
It's rare, but I've heard of a few girls who have no opening in their hymen and the blood pools up behind it, but it's easy to fix.

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T.N.

answers from Phoenix on

I started my period when I was almost 16 -- I was just a late bloomer. I was super skinny and didn't hardly have a chest until around age 17, and even then I was pretty flat still. I have had two kids, so starting a period late doesn't necessarily mean you can't have kids or something in the future. Everything works fine for me now, I just hit puberty late. I wasn't regular until after I had children. My younger sister was 12 when she started, so she already had her period a couple of years before I did.

I got embarrassed at slumber parties when girls would talk about their periods. I'd usually go to the bathroom right around that time in the girly conversations so I could miss the "when did you start?" questions since I hadn't even started yet, ha ha. But I was actually relieved that I didn't have to deal with all the cramps and blood any earlier than necessary. I got 4 years less of dealing with a period than most girls, so I felt lucky!

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Kylie:

If your daughter is active in sports - it could delay it.
If your daughter is overweight (significantly - not just the pre-puberty "pudge" that girls need) that can also affect it.

If she doesn't get her menses by the time she is 14 - take her to the GYN and have her checked out....blood tests - does she have too much testosterone in her system, etc.

Take a deep breath in the time being and just let it be.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't consider 14 that late. I'd consider 17/18 late. My SD was in that timeframe when she got her cycle (about 14). I'd just keep her informed about what's coming and have supplies on hand and not worry about it. Might be nice for one more summer (or as much of one) where she doesn't need to worry about tampons, etc.

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