Last Straw with Babysitting

Why would you email her something this important, when you see her every day & could've told her 2 weeks ago, face to face? This all could've been avoided if you would've done that.

She may take advantage, but in this situation I don't think she was wrong.

And this is why I closed my daycare. Some parents think I work for them at the expense of my family and would drop kids off late, pick them up late, drop them off sick, with no clothes or diapers etc...I would never be so rude and inconsiderate. Parents like that can kiss my behind.

well, you did give her notice. You have had probems in the past with her.
As with the last round, she is not open to being flexible when it comes to her choices.

But, you are providing a service & getting paid for it. If you cannot stick with your original commitment, then you are jeopardizing your future employment.

Delaying drop-off time, for many parents, means a loss of income & the risk of being written up at work. Your personal/family time can greatly affect her job. Just saying.....it's not all about you & your family, especially when you are a babysitter/daycare provider. As providers, we miss out on a lot if we want our pay. :)

Yup. One week wasn't enough notice from you. You're concerned about attending a fundraiser for a school. She's concerned about keeping her job and putting food on the table. You should have talked with (i.e., called) her about her options and given her time to figure out alternative care.

To you it's just FAMILY TIME (why the all caps?). To her it might be keeping a roof over her kids head and food on the table.

ETA:
Your SWH included some valuable information that would have been helpful in the original post. If she didn't have to be at work until 8pm, then you have a good point.

i'm sure there's a great deal of history leading up to this... but, based on THIS incident alone, i think you may be being unreasonable... this woman DEPENDS on you to watch her child so that she can provide an income to her family. giving her notice "about a week ago" that you can't watch her son as defined in your normal arrangement may not allow her enough time to make other arrangements. it's a chuck e cheese event, i'm SURE one person isn't going to make a big difference, bring him in as not part of the event, i doubt they're closing down for a private event. you certainly have the right to plan a day off, etc. - but i think a week's notice just isn't enough. again, it's clear from your frustration that there MUST be some other issues, so if it isn't working out, quitting is probably the best thing.

Well, she counts on you for babysitting. Do you consider this a job or a personal favor? I mean, would you tell your employer, I can't work today, I'm going to my daughter's school fundraiser? No, you would ask permission for the time off.
I guess this a lesson for the future. Next time have a contract in writing so that your expectations are very clear. But I must say I don't think I'd hire a sitter knowing that she could decide to be unavailable anytime she wanted to be somewhere else. Not very professional :(

What I think you did wrong was to tell the mom what you were doing. In the future just say - I am unavailable on xyz day at xyz time. End of story.

However..... a week is not enough notice for me to then give notice to my job that I have to be off that afternoon. So, that would put me in the position of having to lie and call in sick.

This is one of the main reasons I always used a center, to avoid individual caregiver committments, illnesses etc.

I agree with other mom's that perhaps you should give her 2 weeks notice.

Sounds like a case of bad communication and unclear arrangements. When I was in college I took a babysitting job and I can tell you that telling them i just couldn't come in was not our arrangement. They depended on me so they could go to work. Looks like a lack of clarity on your arrangement killed this job.

my response would be. your right. he can go to chuck e cheese. i am not the gate keeper of chuck e cheese BUT I won't be taking him=)

Sorry, a week is NOT enough time to expect her to find alternate child care. I think your job (watching this child) trumps a Chuck E Cheese fundraiser. This is why I have always used a daycare center. They don't close on a whim. My career is too important to me (and to my son who depends upon me for food and shelter) to take a chance that a Chuck E Cheese event might arise.

Unfortunately there are just a lot of people in the world like this: My way, right away, right now.... And screw anyone else.

I had one family just drop off their son and leave when *I'd* arranged childcare for my older son (read theirs was a toddler), when I was high as a kite on painkillers following surgery, and another when I had food poisoning.

Their attitude was the same... It "should" be okay, because they say so.

I call it Queen of Hearts Syndrome ( or QoH Delusion).

I've learned painfully that there is just no getting through to these people, as they don't live in reality, and other people, simply put, are just not 'real' to them.

It's a close cousin to 'Since you're not doing anything' people who assume being a SAHP means you "should" be able to watch their children for them (free or paid) when ever they durn well please. <rolls eyes> Right.

ROFL... Actually, in the beginning of that learning process several years ago I posted on that (SAHP does NOT = Babysitter), and got an overwhelming response.

This woman is and has been using you (from your prior posts). MOST single parents I know are on the ball as far as childcare (aka backups or arrangements with work), the same way that most working parents don't assume that SAHPs are not 'doing nothing'.

But there are a LOT of Queen of Hearts out there.

No wonder her son has issues. Treating childcare providers as of she's doing them a favor, and demanding they change their business model to suit her wants ... Probably means he's had a LOT of them over the years, in addition to learning by watching how to be disrespectful and dismissive.

My .02.... You informed her you would not be able to watch hr son until x time today well in advance. OF COURSE she's going to show up and try to drop him off. Giving notice PLUS not letting her manipulate you ($20 says she'd just drop and drive leaving you the option of watching him or taking him to the police station) by not physically being there is a good plan.

I don't really get it. You said the child had to be dropped off later because of the fundraiser and then you say that you're going to sit at the park so she can't drop him/her off.

So I take it the fundraiser is this evening, not this afternoon. How much later did you need the kid dropped off? If you are being paid to babysit, then I think you should have planned to bring your charge with you or not go. It's the thing of working "other" things around your job; not working your job around "other" things.

It seems to me that you're the one who wants to do whatever you want; she is just trying to have you do your regular babysitting.

Good for you! Feels good to stand up for yourself, doesn't it!

Way to go! :)

Don't let others tell you that you are providing a service so too bad. You gave ample notice. She should have made other arrangements. Otherwise she should put her child in a daycare center, then she wouldn't have to worry about it. When my kids were in in-home day care, I fully expected the provider to take a day or two off if needed. That was the trade off b/c I did not want my kids in a regular daycare.

J., as a daycare provider, I feel your pain...I always try to give plenty of notice, but this time of year, school events seem to pop up every day! And since my son will be done w/ grade school in 10 days...then it's on to middle school...so yes, I did give less than 2 weeks notice a few weeks ago to attend his last field trip. I only had one mom get pissy, and it was because she hadn't told me she was even bringing her child that day (she normally doesn't) and she had already made plans. So, we worked it out and all was well.

While a week isn't a ton of time, you still gave her notice and she had a week to make other arrangements or at least let you know she couldn't and ASK if there was anything you could do...I don't know about you, but how I'm approached about things makes a world of difference.

FAMILY TIME IS important and when I am doing things for MY kids, that's what it is about...MY kids, not everyone elses. And as a good mom and daycare provider, my parents appreciate how involved in my own kids I am...they also know how much I love theirs! :)

Hang in there...some parents do not get it...I put out a newsletter every month and some of my requests get continually ignored...it is what it is...you either decide to put up w/ it and move on, or take care of it, like you ARE! Best of luck...let us know what happens!

Be the higher person. Pick up her daughter after the event and give two weeks notice. Just because she's unreasonable and demanding does not give you the right to be unreasonable and demanding. Protect your reputation by being the reasonable one.

I sympathize with you. You certainly do not have to continue to put up with this. But do the right thing when quitting.

Sounds like your client didn't communicate right away that she couldn't drop her son off late and you didn't check to make sure everything was okay.

I work with parents/kids and no matter what I do with sending home notes, emails and text messages, there are parents who just DON'T REMEMBER until right before something happens (or after it happens) and then they want special treatment like an extended deadline or something. I'm sure some of them are just really busy, some are disorganized, some make an occasional mistake and some are just plain irresponsible.

I usually feel that if I've done everything I can do (e.g. sent home a note plus an email reminder) then if they don't remember it's not my responsibility to make exceptions. I use the phrase "Your failure to plan does not necessitate an emergency on my part."

However, if I feel that there is something else I could have done--given more notice, sent out an email, etc. then I will do my best to accomodate my client. "The customer is always right."

Repeat offenders lose my sympathy. The responsible parent that makes an occasional mistake I try to help. They deserve it.

Good luck!

Sounds like a good plan. If you have told your client you will not be available it doesn't matter in the slightest WHY. You have a right to a private life. Some clients respect their caregivers and some do not. Do what you need to do to be with your kiddo at what I'm sure is important to her!!

M

Based on prior history, I don't blame you a bit. The plan to be out of the house is genious!

I think a lot of people have beenn telling you for a long time now, dump this woman! You MUST tell her that you QUIT! Not one more second will you watch this child. You do not have to avoid your own home from this woman. YOU MUST CALL HER OR TELL HER FACE TO FACE THAT YOU QUIT, PERIOD! No more! She has a problem and you do not have to deal with her anymore, period. Repeat after me, "I QUIT, NOW!" You are just dragging this out and torturing your family and now you have to avoid your own home? Don't be surprised if you get home and find an 8 year old boy sitting on your doorstep. Then what? I'd call the authorities for abandonment. No wonder the boy was acting up at your home. Look at his mother. *ugh* Dump the entire situation.... NOW!!!!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I think that a verbal communication about a work related issue is always a better way to be professional. She knew this was coming up and she could have had anyone watch him for a couple of hours so you could do ONE thing with your child without her child.

If I gave notice that I was going to be unavailable for any thing I wanted I would feel I have a right to take an evening off. It is something most employees are able to do with notice.

I assume 3rd shift is the 11pm to 7am shift so she would not even really need a babysitter until much later in the evening correct?

She just wanted her kid to go somewhere and have fun so she could have the evening off before she went to work.