Language Acquisition

She will be talking non stop in no time. She sounds like a very intellengent and happy child who has learned an amazing amount in less then 2 years.. I know I didn't learn as much in the past two years, so please don't pressure her. With my first child I did as you, taught everything as fast as I could and he is very smart with a photographic memory. I pushed him so he knew all his colors, how to spell his name and could match stuff all before he was 18 months... but when it came to school, he was bored with the regular work and even though he was in gifted programs, he never enjoyed it. Now he is 28 and I shake my head when he doesn't do anything without being pushed a bit. I always wonder if I pushed him to hard when he was little and that is why he doesn't have the drive on his own.

As a grandma, I can tell you that we push our babies to grow up so fast we forget to stop and just enjoy the times with them. I enjoy just watching my granddaughter with her imagination and let her choose what she wants to do. She didn't talk alot until she was 2 but now that she is 3 she is very vocal and gives us a good laugh all the time. My kids are all grown and I miss those young ages, the baby ages.. especially the ages where mom still knows somethings! Don't push, just enjoy.

2 moms found this helpful

I follow children's development very close and think your daughter is actually doing very well and above most. I think when you have worked proffessionally in an area it is very common to read more into something than is there. Trust me, I over diagnose my children all of the time. I want you to just relax, take a breath and know this is just her persoanlity and that she is actually not only on target, but above the curve. Enjoy these moments now; when we spend so much time tracking the development, we do not take the enjoyment in enjoying the milestones. The time goes by way to fast. From your description, she sounds above average and is doing well. Congrats and enjoy her. Singing is always positive though.

1 mom found this helpful

I feel your pain, as a former early childhood educator, I have way too much information for my own good. It makes me neurotic.

A great thing to do to increase language skills is to find other people who can talk to your child. She gets used to hearing your voice and speech rhythms and vocabulary. It becomes less interesting to her. When other people (relatives, moms from a playgroup, etc) talk to her, it will be new and exciting and spark interest. So offer to swap kids with a friend at a play date spend time reading and playing with eachother's children.

Music is another great way to expand language skills. Try getting her enrolled in a music class for toddlers, or check out the library for lapsit/story times. Or just start singing to her. Sing the same songs over and over throughout the day.

That being said, I have understood that children mostly focus on learning one set of skills at a time. Their brain is focused on either large motor skills, or fine motor skills, or language skills, etc. for a period of time and then switches. These learning periods can last a few days to several weeks. You need to capitalize on what you daughter is focused on for that time period. Maybe she is focused on large motor skills right now and needs you to give her more opportunities to master those skills. My son, also 19 months didn't start walking until he was 16 months old, he still does not run or jump - but he has about 200 words in his vocab. Each kid develops differently and can be focused on a different skill set at different times. What your daughter needs from you is encouragement to master the skill set she is working on right now, and be patient with the language skills until her brain shifts into that mode. Let her direct activities and be just as enthusiastic about jumping on pillows as you are reading a book. Both are equally valuable learning experiences for your daughter.

1 mom found this helpful

I am absolutely certain she is just fine. Jeremiah likes to talk a lot, but there are things that he won't do except in the privacy of his own room until he is confident that he is doing them correctly. I overhear him saying his ABCs and counting, but if I ask him to do it for me he just smiles and acts bashful.

Maybe our kidlets can get together to practice with each other. :-)

Ditto on singing - it was my first thought and I see someone else suggested it. There are a lot of tapes you can buy to sing along to, or videos, or just make up your own silly songs, or sing the classics.

I understand that your education may make you more hyper-aware of language development, but FWIW, I wanted to write that I've noticed many mothers with adult children grossly over-estimate exactly when their children were able to speak, spell, read, etc. It must be nice to believe that your 30 y/o daughter spoke in full sentences, recited the Constitution, and baked her own bread by the time she was 19 months....KWIM? :) I've heard from one mother that all of her children were reading by 3, talking by 10mos, etc etc. But you know what? You could never tell by looking at them now.

My point is, some of your worries might be stemming from external pressures- from age markers that people have mentioned re: their own 'gifted' children. So take heart! Your DD sounds completely normal to me :)

She needs to be around other children. I have over 30 years invested in the field of early childhood. You are doing all the right stuff, Mom! It's hard staying home and taking on this responsibility. It would be easier to push this off on someone else (caring for your daughter). I admire you for being home! But she needs a play group of other kids if you want to increase her language skills. Some church groups offer a mom's day out where you volunteer your time once a month to sit with all the other kids and the moms get a morning to do what ever they want. Free time without children! I think that's good for both of you. If you can't find that, perhaps you could organize something similar in your area with play dates, trading mornings caring for each other's kids. Good luck!

I think she sounds perfectly normal & you should just relax & enjoy her at this stage.

I have 4 children and one on the way. My first child was VERY verbal and spoke way to early. As a result he didn't ennuciate his words well. Everyone told me he was super smart because he had such a big vocabulary...etc... Then #2 came along and he was quiet, almost mute compared to my first. He did all the normal things that toddlers do, but just didn't speak much. Then when he was close to the age of 2 he decided to start talking. He spoke so clearly and so well. He's a very bright child and has been put in the gifted program at school.

Unknown to you, your daughter has a lot of words up in her mind that will eventually come out. Trust me, if she's developing normally and she can sign and seems not to be frustrated, then she is fine and you will someday look back and realize that you had nothing to worry about!

Take a deep breath and just give her more time. Enjoy every moment!

I would encourage you not use sign and force her to start vocalizing her wants and needs. If she wants water or a drink she needs to say it and not sign for it. Signing is okay for a little while but you have given her an out not to vocalize by signing for want she wants. There maybe temper tantrums etc but it will soon pass once she understands that she needs to tell you want she wants. You might start by if she signs for a drink of water.. then you walk to the kitchen and say you must tell me what you want and then repeat her options once she chooses you tell her that she has to say the word in order to get what she wants. I know that it may sound cruel but in order to help her start vocalizing more you have to firm. You have given her a crutch and now she doesn't need it anymore. Also reading to her and say the book has a red dress.. you can say.. can you say "red dress"? This worked with my oldest son when I did the same thing. After awhile it will be second nature. Hang in there.

As I understand it if a child has about 20 spoken words at 20 months they are on target - of course some kids have more words some less= I would sugest you try talking to her and involving her in conversations - As you go around the grocery store "Wow! look at all the bananas. Would you like to pick some out? (pause waiting for an answer) How many should we get? Do you think we should get the yellow ones? Should we get a few that are still green?"
continue like that through the cereal isle, ect. Talk to her as you drive the car. "What kind of dog is that?" "tell me as soon as the light turns green" "what would you like for lunch?" Talk to her like you would an older child. And you are on the right track reading to her. I would lay about 30 or 40 little books out on our big table in the morning and my daugter would pick out which ones she wanted to have me read first - I would have read them all by the end of the day -some over and over again.

i can't tell you what works, but i care for a 19 month old girl that doesn't talk at all, she also very smart follows directions listen very well and so on. she says "mom" and that is about it she doesn't really babble either. i think kids are just different, this little girls DR said she is perfectly fine and he wont be concerned about the lack of speech until she is much older. my son says lots of words (also 19 months) and i thought she would pick it up from him but she didn't (been with me 6 months). i talk to them constantly and repeat words every time she points at things. i guess it is just a waiting game but i wanted you to know that your little one is not the only one that is language delayed. She is doing well in other areas so i am sure she will work it all out soon :)

Hi G.,

I have twins that I ended up taking to speech class because of the same reasons you describe with your daughter. At first Luthern Social Services actually came out to our house to work with them, and once they turned 3, they went to our local elementary school.
Some of the things we were told to do was to ask the kids a question and then hold choices up to our face and wait for them to answer. Do you want milk or juice? (Pointing was not considered an answer.) We also took their everyday toys and used them to talk into them - buckets make an echo-type sound, hollowed-out tubes were used, etc. Once in school they made flashcards and the kids practiced them at home on a daily basis...
It worked! The very first day back to school this year the teacher told me that they would be "graduating" next class!
Good luck to you - and keep in mind - your child will start talking when she is ready, and then watch out! Sometimes we have to fight in order to be able to say anything around our 3 year olds since they are talking so much! =)
J. L.

I'm sorry, I don't have ideas for you. I do want to share with you my experience, to help you worry less. My 9 year old son knew only about 4 words when he was your daughter's age. He didn't really start to talk until one month before he turned 2.

Now he is 9 and extremely articulate, with a huge vocabulary, excellent grammar, and a syntax that is occasionally very adult.

I think she's doing quite well...

How about singing? Does she like music? I catch my soon to be 3 year old boy mimicking me all the time when I sing.

She seems to be on the quiet side... or maybe she senses that you're stressing out about it?

Relax, kids never do what you want them to do. My 13mo.old knows how to give kisses but she won't give them out.

My older dd also did signlanguage and was good at it. Alot of ppl made the assumption she was deaf. She didn't talk and then just one day over night whne I WAS NOT pushing her she just started talking and to this very day she hasn't shut up since. She talks more than anyone I know.

One thing I have learned is you can't push kids, and have so many expectations on them. Let them be kids, they'll do whatever is they're suppose to do when they're ready. My younger daughter is 13mos.old and straight up REFUSES to walk and I just sit back and let her do her thing. I've never seen a kid go to kindergarten crawling or not talking unless something was medically wrong.

I've also heard some kid with signlanguage don't necessarily feel the need to talk because they are already communicating so wonderfully. This was not true with my daughter but I've heard it's common.

I can't get my older daughter 8 to read books to save her life but she's several grade levels ahead of everyone else in her grade go figure.

Relax. Stop trying to get her to do more. When you stop needing her to talk more, she will be able to open up more easily. Allow her to have her own pace. Our daughter only had 10 words at 18 months, and she started to read once she got to school with the other kids. By the summer after first grade she read a hundred pages per day, if we let her, and she now is fluent in three languages. I am so glad we didn't push her to read early, because it makes the brain too linear. Love her, play, have fun, enjoy!

G.,

20-30 words at 19 months is certainly not behind. There is only so much you can do to speed up a child's development. Some children come into this world with an aptitude for verbalization, some with gross or fine motor skills, some with comprehension skills, etc. Children have different learning curves and develop certain things faster or slower.

My first daughter was extremely verbal - putting together sentences before she could walk and knowing all her alphabet letters before she was 2. My second child, first son, was not verbal at all. At 18 months he could only say about 10 words. Then shortly before his second birthday, he grew to about 100 words all at once. When he was 4, he taught himself to read and kept stealing his sister's homework and doing it for fun even though he was 2 years younger than her. He is now 6, reads a chapter book on his own before he goes to bed and does multiplication in his head. He was just a bit of a late bloomer. My fourth child and second daughter didn’t walk until she was 16 months. She was the fastest crawler I had ever seen but was very cautious about falling. When she did finally walk, she could walk backwards and run within a matter of a couple of weeks.

It's totally normal for children to stop using words they knew. It usually means they are focusing on developing another skill. They will come back to it eventually.

S.

I suspect your daughter is fine. She probably communicates her needs to you in a manner in which they are met and therefore doesn't really need to speak a whole lot. My oldest talked full sentences by two, my next child hardly said anything. We were also worried, but then realized we were all talking for her and therefore she didn't really have to talk. She would point and her older sister would say, she wants more milk or we would guess until she agreed non-verbally. You may be speaking more for your daughter than you realize also.

If you still aren't sure, you could take her to another Dr. for a 2nd opinion.

G.

Sing . . . Sing . . . Sing . . .

i had the same problem with my daughter-i finally quit trying to make her talk...and just chatted to her all the time..about everything..well you know..anyways...all of a sudden she just started chatting back..guess once the constant pressure was off of her to talk-she got curious an started up in talking...good luck

Your daughter is doing very well!!! My daughter is 18 months and says only 5 words, she was evaluated and they told me she was in complete norm for her age. Children develop differently and she will talk more when she is ready, it doesn't matter how much more verbal activity you try to teach her. Also consider not to over stimulate her with the activities too, it could overwhelm her into not wanting to talk.