Labor Process

Hi M.,

I just had my second baby 12 weeks ago and I went totally natural. I wouldn't have it any other way. It is painful no matter what you do or don't do, but we were made to have babies. Do what you feel comfortable with and don't let anyone, including the medical staff force/talk you into anything you don't want. During labor do what is best for you. I labored standing or on my knees and delivered on my knees. That is what worked for me, find what works for you, even if it changed every 2 minutes. I wish you all the best and enjoy that little one.

A woman's body was made to have babies. It will be hard, but you will be okay. I had epidurals with all my deliveries, but my best friend had home births and did wonderful. The worst thing you can do is be afraid or let yourself be tense. Relax and let your body do what it is supposed to.

I have three children, and had 3 very different labors. My best advice to you is to have a Burger King birth..."Have it your way". I really submitted to the control of the hospital staff with my first 2 and did not labor the way my body was telling me to. I asked to get up and squat and was told "no". I did not feel in control at all. I had a very challenging time pushing on my back and one of my kids had to be vacuumed out.
I had an amazing labor the 3rd time. I was told that I was the queen and that I was in charge. I labored on my hands and knees and when it was time to push, I finally got to squat. My son started coming out so quickly that the nurse had to hold him in while the doctor put on gloves. Don't get me wrong, it still hurt like hell, but it was a really empowering to do it the way I felt I should. I also learned the third time around how to truly surrender and let my body do what it knew to do. I tried too hard the first 2 times to be on top of the contractions and the pain. I just tried too hard. Your body knows what to do. Listen to it. It's your baby, your body. Have it your way, whatever that is. Good luck and God Bless!

Very interesting responses. My attitude is, if you want to lessen the pain during childbirth, use the methods available if you're comfortable with them. If you don't, then don't. Each woman has to decide what's best for them and their baby. I've never felt it's more noble or you are somehow less of a woman to deliver with out pain medication, but some people feel that way. Be prepared to hear lots of stories from friends and aquaintences who had a two-week labor, 18 hours of pushing (exaggerated ofcourse) and all that with NO medication.
I had an epidural as soon as I could, didn't even feel it going in compared to the pain of contractions and had no side effects.
Best of luck to you.
C.

The first time I was pregnant I thought birthing was going to be the most horrible pain I could imagine. I am sure that it was because of those thoughts after going through it all I thought it wasn't that bad. I decided to use as few drugs as possible, but the nurses and doctors knew to be prepared to give whatever I decided I needed. So far I have never needed an epidural, but everyone is different. I wouldn't worry about the birthing process or how much time it will take. When I was in labor I didn't even notice the time whether it was long or short. I just focused on the task at hand of birthing that child and figured the sooner I completed the task the better for me and the baby. Best wishes to you!

EPIDURAL!!! My labor was 2 hours, 45 minutes long for my first one. I actually had a blast during my labor! In between pushing I was joking around with my hubby and the nurse. I felt no pain, but somehow I still felt everything that was going on. It just felt like I had a warm blanket over my legs. I wouldn't do it any other way. I was able to be there, anticipating her, watching in the mirror, and I got to feel her hair before she was all the way out. I know a lot of people are afraid of the needle, but for me the worst part of the epidural was after the birth, they took the tape off.
Good luck!!! Just remember that whatever you decide to do will be beautiful and right for your family. Enjoy the experience!

Hello M.!

I absolutely remember being right where you are now; it was more the not knowing what to expect that scared me, I knew it was going to hurt, but what exactly does that mean!!! I know everyone's experience is different, but one thing I can share with you that nobody told me until I talked about it after and then they all said oh yeah....one of the really uncomfortable things is a really really intense pressure you feel on you butt, it feels like you have a 20 lb. BM and it needs to get out and then along with that imagine the worst poop cramps you have ever had ;-) and multiply it by about 10 (contractions)! I opted for natural childbirth without an epidural or other drugs but did have an acupuncturist come and that was amazingly helpful!! He put a few needles in my forehead and a few in my feet and ankles and the regular MD and nurses said they could not believe the change in how I was handling the pain after he got there. Also what helped a lot was getting into a bathtub, because when the contractions came and there was all that pressure on my butt, it really helped to be in the water and be able to lift/float through it. It has been 2.5 years since I had my amazing daughter and most of the details on how it felt are foggy now at best, but know that you will do fine. One more piece of advise is do not be afraid to tell anyone if you need something, if you don't feel comfortable with how they are treating you etc. It is not a time to be shy or complacent. Hope this helps a little...Congratulations and let us know how it goes when the big day comes!

Have you thought about HypnoBirthing? About 30% of the mothers birth painlessly without the risks drugs introduce into labor.
I have had several women take class with me who birthed in complete comfort. My favorite was one of my first, my best friend, who birthed a 10 lb. 4 oz. boy over a broken tail bone with a one and a half hour labor from the time her water released to the time she was holding him in her arms. Her first words were "It's over? Already? It was so easy!" She never felt her tail bone through the whole labor. It was so different from her first labor!
The moms from my most recent classes arrived at the hospital between 6 and 9 cm. and birthed a couple of hours later or less. One women slept through much of her labor; one (the first time mom who arrived at the hospital at 9 cm) said she /thought/ HypnoBirthing worked for her, because it was manageable, but not painless; she stayed at home until she was 8-9 cm because she wasn't sure she was far enough along in labor for them to admit her. As a first time mom, I'm sure she doesn't have a clue what it might have been like without HypnoBirthing!
As for what to expect, everyone is different.The longest HypnoBirthing one of my clients has had was about 12 to 15 hours, with 90% of that at a '2' on the pain scale. My shortest was probably my friend's at an hour and a half. The average HypnoBirthing birth is 5 hours. There are fewer complications and interventions overall with HypnoBirthing.
I have a scrapbook with these testimonials, and I have parents come to class to tell their stories. I also give a handout on statistics in class, including how many end up being surgical births, how many women choose to combine drugs and HypnoBirthing methods, etc. I have read some of the responses to your questions, and while I know it is the experience of the vast majority of women that labor and birth be painful, it doesn't have to be that way. Here's an article I wrote about why: http://www.fearlessbirthing.com/Pain.pdf
By avoiding the things in labor that are nearly guaranteed to introduce pain or create risk, you CAN give birth in relative comfort, even if you aren't one of the 30% who birth painlessly. You CAN birth without fear, and while no one can tell you exactly what /your/ birth will be like for /this/ baby, by the end of this class, you will have the confidence to face whatever turn your birth may take.
I have a class starting tomorrow, Thursday, Aug. 2 that runs through August, every Thursday from 6:30-9pm. You and your partner could come to the first one to see if it's something you'd be interested in, no commitment.
Email me personally at ____@____.com or ____@____.com for directions if you'd like to come, or go to www.hypnobirthing.com or www.kimwildner.com for more information.
K. Wildner

I was in labor with my for something like 16 and half hours and the only pain meds I had was in the IV because I was induces with her. I'm deathly afraid of needles so I didn't get an epidual for any of the 3 I had and yes it did hurt. And like someone said everyone is diff. Good luck and I hope every thing works out for you for the best.

Hi, M.!

The choice is most definitely yours, but I highly recommend a drug-free birth. I was planning a natural delivery with my first. I was so overwhelmed by the pain that I asked for medication shortly after they had checked and I was 6 cm. Little did I know I had gone from 6 - 10 cm in 15 minutes. When I took the intrathecal narcotic, I was already at 10 cm. I wish now I had never taken it. For my second birth, I opted for a doula to assist with the delivery. If you are planning a natural birth, I highly recommend a doula. She was there and knew childbirth so well, she could tell me "You have 5 contractions left" or "the baby just dropped" etc. It was the most useful information I could ever ask for. My second birth was drugfree. My second child was much more alert and ready to breastfeed. We had a very difficult time getting my first to latch on and we can only attribute this to the differences in the labor. I felt fine after both, but a little better after the second. I loved being able to take a shower shortly after and feel wide awake and alert. My biggest advice is to not underestimate the pain. I went into my first birth thinking "Women did this forever with no pain medication - I can too". Then I was completely surprised by how badly it hurt. I freaked out and then my husband freaked out. That's why I recommend the doula. I don't want to scare you - it is absolutely beautiful - but so painful. But with that last push, the pain goes away completely and all you can focus on is your beautiful child.
Best of luck! No matter what you choose, you will get through it. And the most important thing is that you and the baby are safe in the end.

Hi M.-

I feel like an expert on this topic. I have 4 boys and I had the first 3 naturally with no pain relief. It was a beautiful experience but, with my 4th boy I got an epidural and let me tell you what a differnece that was. I felt absolutly no pain at all. I got to watch and experience the whole birth. With the first 3 I missed a lot because I was so focused on the pain and breathing and pushing. I really enjoyed my last delivery and was able to watch my son being born and truly enjoy it and appreciate it for the miracle he was. (Instead of screaming at my husband - get him out!!! lol) So I definitly vote for the epidural!!
J.

My hat's off to anyone who can give birth without meds. I got an epidural but it wore out plus my daughter was stuck which made it all the more painful. She had to have a vaccume pump on her head to get her out. I went into labor around 5ish pm and had her around 11 the next day. I also pushed for 3 hours. She was also born on her due date which is very uncommon. My second thankfully was via c-section.
Take the class your hospital offers regarding labor. Breathing exercises helped me alot.

Hi M.,

Well, just know going into it that it WILL hurt. The epidural is your choice of course. Everyone has a different pain tolerance so if you want one, get it, if you don't then don't. No one can really tell you what to expect. Every labor is different. I work in labor & delivery, trust me. You go in expecting one thing & it could be totally different. My labor was 16hrs which isn't too long but guess what, I pushed for 4 long agonizing hours! With it being for first child, expect labor to be a little long. The average pushing for a first time mom is 2-3 hours. Like I said though, everyone is different. Maybe you'll be 1 1/2, you never know. There's a chance for a c-section as well. Just know that going in as well. Your baby is closely monitored while you are in labor. Once in a while, we need to do a c-section on someone. So just keep an open mind going into it & go with what M. wants ok.

Good luck! It's worth every second of it :)

P.

Hi M.,

I don't think I'm going to be much help here, but I'll respond anyways. No one can prepare you for what you labor is going to be like. Everyones experience seems to be so completely different. Just know that your experience is going to be unique to you and before long you'll have your own amazing story to tell. Good luck... and be prepared for a roller coaster of emotions.

Hi M.,
I am a first time mother, and when I was pregnant everybody always told me horror stories and I don't believe that helps anyone. I am the biggest worrier and I was want a c-section up until I went into labor. I actually contracted for a week because they try inducing me but it didn't happen. But they were hardly anything. I woke up at 4am because of my contractions, not bc they were painful, but uncomfortable. I was timing them and I went in about 6am. I walked the halls and sat on the ball....7 hours went by so fast. I started pushing at 1pm and my son was born at 1:58 pm. I haven't slept since! lol. I don't belive you forget the pain, i don't believe its unbearable, I just believe that its worth it....that makes it okay. Good Luck and just be calm and keep your mind off of it before you start pushing. Talk to as many people in the hospital as possible, play games and just remember. oh and start filling out the childs book! I did that, it made it more fun! one more thing, my friend told me this while I was pregnant and I will never forget. On your last push, pay attention to the swimming feeling, its wierd and cool at the same time, I will never forget that!

M.,
I will definite tell you to have an open mind toward every medications. Everyone has a different approach toward epidual.
My labor lasted for 4hrs and i didn't use an epidual.
Being that this is your first. I believe every labor is different and yours might last for 6-8hrs.

Hi

I was anxious with both my my labors. My first one I went in thinking that I'd wait and see if I wanted the epidural. When the contractions started they were 1 every minute, and I couldn't take it. I immediately asked for the epidural. Without it I felt completely out of control, maybe because I couldn't control the pain, I don't know, I just felt out of control. And I hate that. Once I had it I felt so much calmer, and the doctor could talk to me and I could focus on things other than the pain. With my second I already knew that I wanted it, so I asked them to place it in advance (it takes a while for the anestesiologist to come and place it, and then it takes almost 30 minutes for it to really kick in). It was placed incorrectly and the pain was again overpowering. I've read that when you get the epidural you won't know when to push, but the nurse will tell you anyway. Personally, I thought that the epidural helped me with anxiety almost as much as it did with pain. I just think that there isn't really a way to love childbirth, but with the epidural it was tolerable and pain free.
I don't know what to tell you as far as hours. My daughter was 4 hours of active pushing, and then they used forceps and she came right out. My son was 2 pushes and he came out on his own. I think it depends on their position in there. The doctor said my daughter was wedged in funny by the pelvic bone, and that is why it took so much longer. Good luck!

Hi M.,
I had my first child back in November. I chose to use an epidural and was very glad for it. My water broke before contractions started so the contractions got bad really fast. I was only 3 centimeters when I got the epidural. I would look into getting some kind of pain medication if I were you. Then when you are actually in labor you can always change you mind if the pain isn't too bad. You don't have the get the epidural right away when the contractions start but you do have to get it before you are too far dialated. Have you taken a birth class yet? I made my husband come to class. Some of the things the teach most people know but I learned a lot and felt more comfortable about labor and birth since I took a class. They teach you about meds in the classes. Hope that helps!
E.

Hi M., I know that thinking about the labor and delivery process is very scary the first time, but it IS going to happen and you WILL get through it! Try and enjoy what is left of your pregnancy...soon you will be catering to your new bundle of joy 24/7! To be truthful, labor and delivery is painful, but you already know that, so don't worry yourself anymore than needed! Once you see your baby you forget about the pain and it is all 100% worth it! I was in labor for about 26 hours....then ended up having to have a emergency c-section. I had a hard pregnancy, a tough labor, a very scary delivery and a painful recovery, but I would do it all in a heartbeat, because I love my son more than anything. Everything will be just fine, like I said, just enjoy yourself while you can, no use worrying. Go see some movies, eat out and go out with friends...while you still can! Good luck!

Hi M. -
If you have any anxiety about getting an epidural or would prefer to stay away from drugs for pain relief, I would highly recommend hiring a doula to assist you during your labor. There have been multiple studies showing that doulas are effective at decreasing the amount of pain a woman perceives during labor, shortens the length of labor significantly, and decreases the need for interventions during labor. If you want some information on doulas or to find a doula in your area, try going to http://www.birthingnaturally.net/directory/doula/wisconsi...
There is a directory of doulas in different areas of the state.
Good luck!!

You have tons of responses... and all say the samething... everyone is different as well as each labor is different.
All 3 of my labors were very unique!
Relax, you know your body best so hang in there. We are all different.

I feel the need to begin with "everyone's labor is unique"....what worked for me was not getting in the hospital bed until it was time to push. I walked the floors with my husband, sat on a yoga ball and played cards, looked through magazines and generally stayed upright until my water broke and I went from a 7 to a 10 in about five minutes time. Lying in bed does not help the baby descend and plus if you keep busy it takes your mind off the pain. I did not take the epidural....I did have one injection of Nubain because I progressed so quickly after my water broke that I started breathing too rapidly and hyperventilating....the Nubain does not do anything for the pain but it calms you down and relaxes you so you can focus where you need to. I had my first baby last summer and I was nervous too...but labor and delivery is not as scary as you might think. The process is nothing your body can't handle. Have a positive attitude and good luck!

A. Z.

P.S. I went to the hospital at 6 pm and had my baby by 2 am...so eight hours total. I had labored all day at home that day...timing contractions and waiting until I was sure it was real!