Labor and Delivery

Updated on July 26, 2010
C.S. asks from Deer Park, TX
18 answers

I just had our hospital tour for my son that is due in August. This hospital claims to be baby friendly, yet they take the baby away from you quite a bit. They leave him w/you for the first hour after birth, then take him to a transitional nursery for FOUR hours, then again take him out of your room for all labs... This is VERY different from where I had my first child and he stayed with me in my room the ENTIRE time. I'm concerned about nursing mainly. They say they give pacifiers and formula to 'calm the babies if they need it while they're away from mom" rather than bringing them back to us to nurse.... How do I let the nurses know my wishes? AND them not get defensive or flat out say no???

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Denver on

Change hospitals. That sounds like absolute garbage and goes against modern mother-infant bonding studies and all the studies covering the importance of post-birth feeding/bonding.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Is there another hospital where you can have your baby? I would run as fast as possible away from this one! These issues can cause great problems with nursing. They do not need to take your baby out. I would flat out refuse. Tell them that if they need to do something with your child, they can do it right there with you watching. If not, then go with the baby, and take him right back to your room. They are being lazy and do not at all care about your bonding and nursing relationship.
<boy, I got all hot over this!>
But seriously, if you have a choice (which you do), RUN!
And, read, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Your hospital stay will be so short---try to take advantage of the sleep! I felt good having the baby in the nursery often (not all the time) so that the nurses could monitor them and know if something wasn't right.

When I wanted the babies with me, it was easy...I got up and walked to the nursery and asked for them. The nurse would usually push the basinet back to the room, while I walked back. I did not use the button to call very often...I found getting up and going to nursery much more friendly and well received.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.L.

answers from Denver on

Wow, I think I would try to find a different hospital if at all possible. Tell the nurses your choices from the start. They really can't tell you no, remember, you are the customer (patient) and the baby is all YOURS! You have every right to call all the shots!!! This seems odd for a hospital these days...when I had my son he stayed in the room the entire time. They rolled in a cart, scales, everything...they cleaned him up, did all the tests, vision, everything right there in my room. He left the room once for about 30 minutes for the circumcision. Or they would take him if I wanted a shower and no family member was present to stay in the room with him, hospital policy the infant never be left unattended, otherwise they never removed him from my room.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Austin on

jeez! my hospital was the complete opposite... they came to me for most of the stuff! I think my baby was out of my room for a total of 3 hours the entire time I was there! (i was there for a week because of some complications I had.) Even when she was jaundiced they brought the biliruben lights to me, and even gave me a "portable" one to wrap her in so I could nurse her without taking her out of the light! I would definitely make your wishes known ahead of time, and if they can't comply with what you want, switch hospitals! it is YOUR baby, and YOUR right to have him/her in the room with you. the first days are sooo precious and they don't have the right to take that from you. Just ask the nurses what the rooming-in policy is, and tell them you ABSOLUTELY don't want them bottle feeding your baby... it is THEIR JOB to keep the infant and mother happy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

First talk to the hospital consumer advocate and find out if this is actually the rules of the hospital.

Then I think you have three options:

1. If these are actually the rules of the hospital , you can spend the next couple of weeks fighting the system, to try to set up something "special" for yourself, and hope that the nurses you actually end up with will honor the special arrangements. Also be prepared to fight with them about it right after delivery, and the entire time you are there.

2. If these aren't the rules of the hospital find out what they are, and get a copy of them. Then you will be armed to fight with the nurses. It will be a fight, even if what they told you isn't the actually rules. They tend to tell you what they actually do in these classes. There could be a gap between the rules and what the nurses actually do. -- OR

3. Find a different hospital.

Since this isn't your first time, I would consider a different hospital. Can you go back to the one in which you gave birth before?

Best of Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.P.

answers from Houston on

Why are you trying to control their responses to you? All you can do is handle your end of the dialogue. There might be a very specific reason that they do this, so just talk to them about it. The best thing is that you are not in the moment, so you have a little time to express yourself and get some information.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Redding on

I'm not sure this is what they are telling you they will specifically do in your case or they are just saying that this is what "may" happen.
Neither hospital with either of my kids gave a pacifier or formula because I clearly stated that I would nurse.
My babies were with me almost constantly. One with complications and one without. But yes, there were times when they went to the nursery for labs and other things, weighing, the pediatrician evaluation, etc. But, they always brought them back. My first baby had a very messy bowel movement a couple hours after she was born and they asked me if I wanted to change her so they could teach me how to do it. I'd already changed a thousand diapers in my life, so I let them do it. Not that I didn't want to, but I didn't need to learn how and I knew I'd have a zillion diapers after I got home.
Unless you say you do not want to nurse, there is no reason to introduce formula and the nurses are so good about making sure the baby will latch on and you're comfortable with everything.

I think you just need to talk to the hospital and clarify some things.
First of all, no one has a crystal ball and knows exactly how ANY birth will go.
Talk to your OB about a birthing plan.
With my first baby, I was only in the hospital 24 hours after giving birth.
My second baby was a different story and yes, they took him because I had complications, but he was with me in my bed as much as humanly possible. He cried if I layed him down to try to go to the bathroom so they took him out of my room so I could try to relax a little bit.
I was happy for the help, to be honest.
Anyway, just let your wishes be known and be prepared if things don't go exactly the way you plan them. Hopefully, you will have a short stay, your baby will be healthy and you can go home quickly and then have 24/7 from then on.

Best wishes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

If the baby needs to be in a separate space from you for tests, send your husband. There should be no reason that the baby would be away from you for 4 hours post birth. I've had 3 kids at 2 different hospitals and neither had that policy.

Whatever "transitional" room they are talking about should be YOUR room. Demand it, or find a different hospital.

Do not allow your baby to be fed formula if you are not planning to do it yourself. Again, demand it, or find a different hospital.

Good luck,
Jessica

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Austin on

It's your choice and not theirs. If you want your baby to "room in", nurse on demand, and not be given pacifiers, formula or any other kind of water/supplementation that choice should be respected and is backed up by many studies as being best for you and your child. Assuming you are having a normal pregnancy and birth not high risk, and your baby is born healthy, there is no reason who the baby should ever have to leave your sight or your room at all, they can do all testing/bathing etc. right there or you can even decline to have much of that done if you wish. Just tell them that this is what you want flat out, and if they refuse ask to see the hospital policy which says that it cannot be done your way. If there is not a way around their typical procedure don't be scared to find another hospital to deliver at.

Also, even if you don't talk to them about it any more and you do deliver your baby there (assuming that you haven't signed away your rights on any paperwork) they can't legally take your baby away from you or do/give anything to or for him for any period of time without your consent. Just say NO when that time comes and stick to it. This is YOUR birth and YOUR child.

-Edited to add that 4 hours is very long for a newborn baby (most nurse at least every 2 hours) and skin to skin contact with mother is so important for the first 24 hours especially. If they insist that they NEED to take baby to get testing done that you want, send the Daddy or another family member along and do not allow it to take 4 hours. If they really need that long (which they don't..) insist that they split that time up into a few seperate times away from mommy instead of all at once.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Seattle on

If you want your child with you and not taken away have it that way. You do NOT have to follow what the hospital says is the way they do things. The child in question is your child not theirs and you can have your child with you at all times unless their is a medical reason your child must go to another room. I had 2 children who were both in the NICU and other than having to stay in the NICU with my two they were never away from me for longer than an hour---which is when the main docs made their rounds and all infants in the NICU needed quiet time. However I was literally right outside the door for that hour so I knew at all times what was going on with my child.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I had four kids and i have never had them gone for four hours after birth. I think it was called "room in"... that is what i wanted with my babies. They were only allowed to take them for testing. If the that hospital is not willing to accomodate your wishes i would find another one. This is your precios newborn...not theirs :(

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Definitely file a birth plan that states:
1. No pacifiers
2. In room stay for baby (no nursery time)

That said, you will have to verbalize this plan while you are there (so will your husband should you be preoccupied). That said, hospitals feel increasing pressure to manage expectations and so often present "the worst case scenario" to parents with the assumption that "well we think baby will need to go to the nursery post-delivery for 1 hour...so let's prepare them for a 4 hour max so that they do not freak out when baby is delayed due to complications."

Besides, remind yourself if you deliver vaginally, you will only be there for 24 hours. You can nurse as soon as that beloved baby is clear of you and nurse for the next 20 hours straight. They cannot INSIST that the child spend time in the nursery beyond the post-birth test, bath, eye goo'ing, etc. In fact, I bet you can also request the the pediatric check-out (needed before they will release baby) can be performed in your room.

Congratualations! If I could swing it financially (and mentally = ) I would have another in a minute and no quasi-negative vibes from a hospital would matter to me.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

You are in control, you do not have to let them take your child to the nursery, and if they must take him for labs, you have every right to go as well. If you do not want passies or formula given, than say so, and stand your ground. They are telling you what they normally do, but you have complete control over what actually happens. My child was with me or my husband the entire time we stayed in the hospital. When they went to the transitional nursery to clean him up, my husband was right there, and as soon as I was ready (had some complications that needed attention), then he was in my room. The only time they took him out was for his circumcision.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would talk to your doctor and get their advice on how to handle... seems odd.

Y.C.

answers from New York on

I don't know what to say, I would be very piss.
I know many people incluiding my mom told me I should take advantage and rest, but I couldn't, all I wanted do is to be with my baby. I think I was so exited for the first 2 days I wasn't even that tired.
I don't think you can change the rules of your hospital so I will make sure if my wishes would be take in consideration, if not ask why not.
They did took my baby also for some labs but after that she stay with me the whole time.
Get informed of your rights and what is ok and what is not, get your doctor if possible involve, and ask him if he can help so your baby is not take away and not bottle feed. I know some nurses are, I don't know the word, I think they think they know better then the mom and will tell you is ok for them to give your baby formula or pacifier.
Don't be afraid to say no thanks, I am the mom.
Study all your rights mom.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Laredo on

My hospital is the same way. I was told on my tour that they will help you get started nursing right away, then the baby goes to the nursery for a few hours of tests and observation, then if you want the baby in the room with you, that's what happens. 4 hours sounds like a long time, but it will probably fly by. It's not anything I'm going to stress over. If I'm lucky, I'll get a short nap to recover from delivery.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions