Labor AGAIN??

there is lots of great advice here, and they are correct in the no two pregnancies are alike. My friend had preclampica with her first and is having a smooth pregnancy this time around. My first labor lasted 21 hrs and the next 2 I had to be induced, and one went quickly with it, the other took 2 days. My 2nd pregnancy, the epidural never took hold and I was crying all thru the contracts too. My 3rd, I decided no epidural and got a different kind of medicine instead, which helped somewhat, yet I felt it all. My best advice is to talk to your doctor now about your fears and discuss different ideas as it comes times. I think the best thing for you would be a C-section, then you wont have to worry about labor at all, though I have to admit that I am scared to death of the thought of surgery, they wanted to do that with #3, but I chickened out. (see we all have fears when it comes to bring the baby into the world) I know lots of people who have had multiple C-sections and say they are great. Maybe an epidural wont be the way to go for you, maybe you will want another form of medication. Webmd.com has great stuff on it, which you should be able to educate yourself when you talk to your doctor too. Good Luck! and Congratulations!

I understand. I have six children and the first few were no sweat and didn't worry then, my last kids came closer and closer together and would worry. Number 5 was born at home delivered by dad and police officer. So, then with number 6 that is all I worried about and I think it caused me not to enjoy things as one should. When my daughter was finally here I was overjoyed. So, I guess I could say maybe write down and tuck it away...then try to focus on the joys. I commend you for having the epidural I have never had one due to my hate of needles then with my last child I had to have potossion(the stuff that helps labor move along) now that stuff really sucks!! Don't forget your focus.

I wish you the best of luck. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful but, I did want you to know that you are not alone in the being scared of the child birth part.

Take care,
A.

I don't really have any fluffy happy stories about labor. But hopefully you can put your experience into perspective, cause it could have been worse. I have big kids. My first son was induced (I would avoid this if you can). I asked for an epidural and the on-call anathesiologist (spelling??) decided he wasn't getting out of bed unless I had a C-section (If your in a small hospital, PLAN for one if you want one). My son was 10 1/2 lbs and 23 inches (no diabetes, I was bigger, as was my mom and grandma,it just runs in the fam), and I felt every bit of it. My second one was 8lbs 8oz, 21 inches, due to my hyperemisis (malnutrition, he was supposed to be bigger than my first). He was born C-section due to some of the other things that happend with my first son being so big (I won't go that far, I really am not trying to freak you out). C-sections are NOT easier. When you have the baby vaginally, the pain is DONE when the baby is out (even a 10 1/2 pounder). C-sections are a long, hard recovery.

My point to all this is, yeah, labor isn't fun. It is labor (hard work). Just make sure to walk, do an eliptical, stay in shape. You train like you would for a marathon (differently of course, but you still train).

Also! Your having your second only 2 1/2 years or so later! They say the first baby leaves a map inside showing the second how to get out ;) It won't be as hard as the first time. And chances are your first wasn't a huge one, or you'd have probably mentioned it. Therfore your second won't be, be thankful!

That's fair to be scared! I would be too after an experience like yours. I work in Labor and Delivery and have seen some wonderfully peaceful births and some very scary, drawn-out, painful ones. The second time is almost always easier than the first! I would encourage you to pray about it for the next 6 months and be spiritually ready. Also, let your nurse know from the get-go how very hard the first one was for you and how scared you are. Most nurses are simply fantastic about helping in this area. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard is from a midwife from Tennesse. She suggests chanting "Let the monkey do it" whenever labor feels overwhelming or scary. What she means is allowing your body to take over and have this baby. Our bodies were made to have babies, and sometimes we overcomplicate the whole thing. May sound like a whole bunch of tree-hugging stuff, but I've found it's really true. Enjoy your pregnancy and your baby!

N., I feel exactly what you are going through. When I had my first daughter, it was rough in every sense of the word. I had back labor-she was turned kinda funny, and I ended up pushing for 3 hours. After that experience, I knoew it would be a long time before I had another child. Well what do you know my husband and I got pregnant when our daughter was 13 months. I was absolutely terrified of going through labor again. As crazy as this sounds, at the time I told my self that I would rather be pregnant for the rest of my life than to actually have the baby. Get to the point already is what you are thinking . . .OK I did not have any meds for bot of my labors and since my first one was about 9 hours, I decided to stay at home as long as I could stand it, until my contractions were 4 min. apart. I was labored at home for a couple of hours and believe it or not I was only at the hospital a total of 1 hour and 4 min. including check in!!!!! Trust me it does get better. Instead of pushing for 3 hours, I pushed maybe 3 times. After it was all over, I was kind of like, was that all?? It is over already. I think it was also easier because I knew what to expect. Also the best advice I can give you if you are worried about labor is to not find out the sex of the babe. It makes it soooo much more exciting and you have a suprise to look forward to. Also, yes, I am rambeling, but take a picture of your older child to the hosp with you, so you can look at it during labor. When you are going through all that pain, you will realize just how worth it it is. Good Luck!!!!

Hi N.. I read your post, and just had to respond. Did you know that the reason your last labor was so horrible/painful for you was because of the epidural in the first place? When you have synthetic pain meds in your body, they take away your body's ability to produce natural endorphins...so if the meds wear off you are left with nothing! I had a completely drug-free labor and it was intense, but I would not describe it as painful at all. The only reason we believe labor is painful is because we are brought up hearing that. It is 90% psychological- your mindset determines how you will feel. Being scared is a garantee that you will have a lot of pain. I hope you can find a mothod to cope that works for you.

I totally know how you feel. My labor with my son was terrible. It was long (19 hours) and my epidural also wore off. I had to push for two and half hours and the baby was 10 lbs 5 oz! And I'm not a big person! So two years later, silly me wanted to get pregnant again. Both pregnancies were a breeze, no complications, no problems, I just got really big and uncomfortable. Also with my second pregnancy I started having the braxton-hicks contractions at around 20 weeks....kinda scary at first, then I got used to it. But my labor with my daughter was, dare I say, easy. I was only in labor for 5 hours and only had to push for 12 minutes. I had heard the second one is easier, but that was way easy. I don't think you have to worry too much. Don't panic about the end, you will survive it no matter what. I am sure it will go better because your body will remember what to do. Just enjoy being pregnant and think about the new baby you will have to hold instead of the process it takes to get the baby there. Good luck and relax!

I have three boys. My first I went without medication. For some reason with my third I was totally scared! Like it was the first time! I didn't have problems with my pregnancies either. With my third I had high BP and all that. I had an epidural and it went very smooth. As they say each pregnancy is different and each birth is too. No worries! You need to go into it knowing that you are in a hospital surrounded by people, machine, and medication that can do just about everything!

I'm a mother of 3 and each of my labors was different just like each pregnancy was different. With my first, I had a C-sections, with the 2nd a VBAC with an epidural @ 8cm, and my last was with no pain meds-labor was VERY fast! What I learned from the previous ones was what to do and that I could control what I got or didn't get for pain. I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience, but now you know exactly what you don't want and can make sure things go much easier for you this time! Congratulations on baby!

Talk to your doctor and let them know your concerns. Maybe they can do something where you won't have the same problems.

It doesn't have to be that bad!!! I was induced 3 days after my due date. I felt contractions for about 1/2 and hour, had the epidural and felt much relief. I pushed for 45 minutes and had a beautiful baby girl. My advice: don't listen to all the horror stories people try to tell you. Just stay calm and try to take things in stride. I am sure you will do great!!!

PS Where do you do hair?

Hi N.!

I hear you. I am hoping to get preggers again too, but am afraid of childbirth again. I didn't think I would be. My labor went OK - was in the hospital for 36 hours but I was induced and the cervidel and pitocen weren't working. I'm afraid that because I had didn't really have many problems last time that I'll be lamblasted with them this time...but that's just how I operate.

The good thing is that we're not in the 19th century anymore or the early 20th century. It's rare for a mom to pass away in childbirth nowadays. So don't even let that enter your mind. As far as your epi, well now you know about that clicker! And your BP might not drop this time - perhaps it was from the epi or perhaps it was from the stress of not having an epi who knows but it doesn't guarantee that it'll happen again. So I wouldn't worry about it. I would go into your next labor with a positive outlook that you are more experienced, know that you will recognize if something is wrong, and you're in a hospital where you can get help and or drugs if needed ;) You'll do great :)

I completely understand where you are coming from! With my daughter, my water broke at home and I was at a 2, finally 19 hours later I was at a 4 (with the help of pitocin) and got the epidural. I went into shock from the epidural and had to have 4 doses of epinepherine to dring my BP back up. Then, because I was still getting pitocin, my contrations were putting her into distress. Finally, after 28 hours of being in labor I tried to puch but she was coming our wrong and had to have an emergency C-section. 29 hours after labor bagan, she was born. I was terrified with having my second.

Our son was born this past April. I was in full labor for active 4 hours. That's right, 4 hours. He came so fast that iwasn't able to receive an epidural. I pushed for a 1/2 hour with him. It was the most amazing experience. Talk to your doctor or midwife about your fears. You are not being irrational and normal. With a second child, labor and birth progresses much quicker (29hrs vs. 4hrs). In fact, I would be willing to do the experience over again because the second time was so much smoother than the first. I highly recommend the use of a Yoga ball during the labor phase. It helps ease the contractions (as is they can be eased any) and allows gravity to help the labor progress. The rocking and bouncing helped me focus on my breathing during the hard contractions. Also, exercise is a huge help. I went to Curves 2-3 times a week through my whole 2nd pregnancy. Exercising during a pregnancy helps ease the labor and delivery. I was also lucky to have a phenomenal midwife that is very soothing and experienced. I wish you the best of luck. You'll do great.

i totally agree with the others.. no two labors or pregnancies are alike. try to enjoy your time now with your son now. once that second one comes it's harder to get one on one time. you really have to work at it more than before.
my first labor was a piece of cake. 8 hours of labor, only glitch was my bp went to 160/100 something and i had to stay in the bed once labor started. epi went great, etc. my second, my daughter- water broke at 26 weeks, she came at 28 weeks. 77 days in the nicu. she is awesome , no problems. but since she came 3 months early, the two are 9 1/2 months apart instead of the year they should have been. so when i say enjoy your son now..lol lol i know where i speak..lol lol
stressing isn't gonna help your pregnancy or baby any during this time before labor.
good luck

I think that fear won't totally go away. But now you know what to expect you have been throught it once and you have a beautiful baby boy!!! I am due with beby #3 in Aug and I am a little nervous, but again I have done it before and I know what works for me and what doesn't. When you go in make sure that you get your questions answered in the beginning so you know what is happening. Like questions about your pain meds. That is one that I always ask...How does this work is this something that I need to be doing or is it just giving me the meds? If you would have known that you were responsible to give yourself the meds you know that you would have and your labor would have been totaly different!!
Good Luck and Congrats!!

Read, read and read some more about it. It may help you to relax. The second birth is ususually not as bad or as long. It you worry about being in a lot of pain then you might be. Our minds play tricks and we can do the same. Tell yourself over and over that it won't be as bad. It's not good to worry so much now.

Talk to your ob and see what he or she says about it. Make sure you tell him/her exactly what you're afraid of and they may be able to help. I was very scared my second pregnancy. My first didn't go so well. I pushed hard for over 3 and 1/2 hours and they had to use a suction cup to get the baby out.
My second labor was induced and it went fast with very little pushing. Good luck and try not to worry!!!!

Don't fret about your labor... every single child birth is different. No two are alike. I've been around many pregnant women in my life (don't believe a single one had the same exact symptoms while being pregnant or during there delivery).
Just sit back and enjoy your next 7 months, because if you remeber right, your going to need your strength for your next little one.
P.S. My daughter has a 1yr old baby girl and a 3 yr. old baby girl, and she has her hands completely full.

You need this time to relax as much as possible so you'll be up to anything that comes along... also remember you know it's a bolus now, and how to use it.
Congradualatioons on your next baby!

There right no two are alike , I have miserable preg's and can honestly say I look forward to labor because I know no sooner will the kid pop out and the constant morning sickness I have will be gone. My labors are fast my first took 18 hours and was induced, the next made it as far as the couch. once I hit 4 the baby will be there within 20 minutes and I don't feel the labor pains up to that point, I live so far from the nearest hospitol my Dr's induce a week early to avoid them being born on the highway. I have 7 children but given birth only 5 times and in the end when your new beautiful baby is in your arms a few hours of misery is well worth it, enjoy the preg if you can and let nature do the rest. Good luck to your family and new baby!

I would say: GET A DOULA!!! They are great & can really help to ease your fears. They usually visit with 1-2 prenatally & then a few times after the birth too, plus lots of phone time too. Talk to ohter moms who have had good births & DO NOT listen to bad stories. You will do great!

I have a thought that might add something different to the other thoughts shared. Figure out how to have a baby without an epidural so you won't be caught by surprise again. My second baby came so fast, I had no time for an epidural-- and it was terrifying! I just yelled over and over, "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!"

I was determined to not repeat that experience! I figured if my body was going to labor that fast, I better figure out how to deal with it. I read Husband-Coached Childbirth and took 12 weeks of classes to learn how to give birth naturally. The tools I learned made it possible to have three more natural births while being in control and confident (and one of those was induced.) You never know what unexpected difficulties might arise in labor, but the more prepared you are, the less fear you will have. I would look at taking a childbirth class geared toward birth without an epidural, so you learn the skills that you may need to get you through. It really can be empowering to experience labor the way women have for centuries . . . good luck!