Labor

G.,

I've had c-sections so I can't tell you the answer to your question but originally I was going to go completely naturally...no drugs. I looked into holistic childbirth and have seen AMAZING videos of women delivering without any intervention and they were very calm during it. I still worked with a holistic instructor for all three of my children and my doctors have all said they have never seen anyone heal from a c-section as well and as quickly as I have with minimal scar tissue. My children have all been very happy children despite the very stressful pregnancies I had.

I would check with your doctor's office. Both of mine were women I was referred to by my doctors' offices back home and where we are now.

Best of luck!

Hugs,
L.

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Hi G.,

I am the mother two girls, one 9 and one 4. I was just as terrified as you! My oldest was 5 1/2 when I had my second. I can tell you it hurts, BUT, with my second I didn't tear, and I was only in hard labor a few hours. I got to the hospital at 9:30 pm and she was born just nine minutes past midnight, a whopping 8 pounds 5 ounces, 13 3/4 inch head! The best advice that I was given was to relax through the contractions and let your body do the work. The nurse told me that if I did not relax, I would be in labor much longer. At 10:30 pm, her words were, "You could have this baby around 4 or 5, but if you relax, she'll be here in a couple hours." And it worked! And I felt GREAT the next day, bouncing around, sitting cross-legged on that hospital bed with only mild swelling and a little soreness. She was my angel that night! Don't be scared that it's been awhile, you were there once before, and YOU hold the power! We women are miraculous creatures! Good luck, and I'll say a prayer for you!:)

~K.

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Hi G.,
Are you currently in any labor-education classes? If not, I would really encourage you to start. Educating ourselves about what exactly happens during labor can empower us and take some fear away. I delivered naturally and prepared by taking Bradley Birth classes (you can find them online). My mantra is, "If we were going to run a marathon in 9 months, we'd be preparing our bodies, minds and souls right now, so why not take the same approach for birth?" Women are made to deliver babies, and with the right support and education it can be an empowering experience. Yes, there is pain but it is not unmanageable with the proper knowledge, a supportive birth partner and a skilled Midwife or doctor..(I really do suggest a Certified Nurse Midwife). You and your baby deserve support and real information, not a casual commentary on one part of birth. And by the way, my pain was NOT terrible and was made better by the knowledge that it was leading to my baby being born..I wasn't ill, I was giving birth! In short, don't focus on the pain---prepare yourself for the powerful woman you can be during birth. My best wishes to you for a wonderful birth and a healthy baby.
H.

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Mine was tough because I didn't have any break from contractions, they rolled back to back. But, it wasn't bad...and the good thing...it was over much faster than the first!!
You'll do fine. I've heard of women who say they hardly felt it. I don't think it will ever be like that but I found my second went smoother. Although very fast and everything was rushed with no epidural, I found it much better than my first.

It's like we have a built in mechanism to tolerate the pain and then minutes afterward forget it was so hard to get through and make us want to have more kids.

Good luck!! You'll do great!!
N.

And PS: The first time around the nurse was very rude in the childbirth classes talking about how women who are screaming are crazy and annoying etc, with my second the midwife was so calm and soothing and she told me to yell and scream if I needed too. Remember I had one contraction that lasted for over an hr, with no break. It actually gave me relief and I felt like I was expelling some of my pain. I wasn't a raving lunatic screaming at the top of my lungs but it helped me.

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hi G.! congratulations on your upcoming birth!

listen, here is my exp w second birth; i did natural delivery in a birthing pool w both my kids so i had very little pain anyway. the truth is that hospital births are much more painful, because of the aggressive drugs they give and because of the anxiety of the hospital setting; being in a hospital makes you scared and feel like you're sick, so you feel worse.

there are three great books i would really reccommend to you; FIRST and most important would be Erica Lyon's Big Book Of Birth, it's all about pain. you can get it on Amaazon; she is the director of the Realbirth education center in Manhattan; if there's any way you can take a seminar w her on getting ready i would really reccommend it.

secondly if you have time, a more journalistic book about labor is called Pushed by Jennifer something, can't remember it right now, but you can put that in on amazon and it will come right up. and the last book, if you really want to freak yourself out about how dangerous and messed up the medicalized birth scene is in the US, read Born In The USA; Fixing A Broken Maternity System.

but Erica's book is really fantastic and will help you get ready. if there's any way you can consider a natural birth with and experienced midwife, i would urge you to do so. if you want information on my midwife that i went to, email me directly at ____@____.com or send me a message here. i had 6 hours of labor, pushed for 14 minutes both times, and had no tearing, no nothing; i nursed immediately and was running around ten minutes later. it is the best, safest, most painless way.

let's be real; there IS PAIN IN CHILDBIRTH. but our bodies were set up to do this and we have our own pain management mechanisms if we let our bodies do thier jobs. this doesn't mean you go into a medical birth with no pain meds and think it's no big deal; it entails preparation and training like running a marathon. if you want to talk more get in touch with me.

good luck!
J.

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Hi G.!
There's no way to know exactly what your second birth will be like, so one of the best gifts you can give yourself right now is to allow yourself to accept your birth as it will happen and not try to predit. You're not nuts at all, it's been a while since you've been through labor and like most women, I'm sure you only remember bits and pieces of it!
You've gotten a lot of good advice so far. I'll top it off with saying the more relaxed you are, the less painful your contractions will be. Your body has a lot of work to do to bring your baby out, and when you are scared or stressed out and tighten up, you are fighting the process and that is what makes the pain stronger. When you relax and allow your body to go through the process it needs to go through it will go much more smoothly and with a lot less pain.
Ask around where you are giving birth what your options are. The less interventions the better, meaning labor at home as long as you can, the least amount of internal exams, least amount of fetal heart monitering, the bettter- this is all of course assuming you are having a safe healthy labor and are not in NEED of emergency interventions. Once interventions start they often snowball and add a lot of stress and therefore complications to a labor.
Some easy things you can do to keep things going smoothly are: Stay very hydrated- dehydration can lead to a very choppy labor with irregular contractions and vomiting- no fun. Keep walking and moving, sitting on a birthing ball, and even better, sitting on the toilet. Sitting on the toilet in labor is perfect. It's great for opening your bone structure, working with gravity, and psychologically it allows you to relax "down there" and let go. Don't worry, you're not going to have your baby in the toilet- when you feel pressure and pushy feelings, get up! Or just visit the pot here and there throughout your labor.
I know someone mentioned getting a Doula, which I highly recommend. I am a Doula but I do not attend births anymore as the on-call life doesn't work for me. I do however provide labor prep counseling and postpartum care. Feel free to contact me if you every want to work together on that level.
Take care end enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

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I'm with you sister, you'll do fine trust me. My daughter was nine when my son was born, he's now two. I went throught 40 hours of back labor with my daughter. My son was only 16 hours labor. I think it's common for the labor time to shorten, so be aware of that possibility. I'm due with my next in July and we'll see what that brings. Anyway every labor and delivery is different, but if you handled it once, you can do it again. You know how wonderful the reward of you hard work will be. I used lamaze for my daughter, and the bradley method for my son, i like the lamaze better and found myself reverting to what I had learned 10 years ago. Everyone's pain tolerance is different so nobody can tell you wether it will be more or less painful, I took comfort in the fact I knew at some point it would end. I think I was much less anxious, knowing exactly what was coming. Trust your body, it knows what it's doing, your a woman, you were designed for this!!
I wish you the absolute best and a quick and easy delivery.
Enjoy your new little blessing, and just think about seeing that sweet little face.

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Your second child will be easier (usually)than the first one. You should get a Doula to help you with all the comfort measures we do:) You should also start preparing your mind for the event. Stop focusing on the pain and think about how strong you are:)Pain has a role in labor and birth and it is necessary for the process to unfold on it's own. Did you have a natural birth with your first? Where are you located? Do you have a Midwife or a Doctor? There is a great book called Birthing for Within by Pam Englan, you should check it out.
Hope it helps,
Venus

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