P.B. asks from San Jose, CA on August 31, 2008
Labial Tear, Scary!
I just had my 8lb 1oz. daughter 3 weeks ago, and thankfully, I was able to have her naturally although it was a very long and intense experience. (I pushed for a good 2 hours). The good thing is that I didn't tear south (perineum), but the bad part was tearing in the other 3 directions!
As I was getting stitched up, I was told that it wasn't a lot of stitches. I am too scared to look, but everything feels ok and back to normal. MY QUESTION is... about how long before I can enjoy my husband? I read some posts and I am now very nervous! My postpartum appt is this week and I am also dreading being examined for fear of pain.
The other issue I have is still feeling sore "down there" even though I do tons of Kegels. I think it is a result of pushing for soooo long. i feel it everytime i get up from the bed, couch, etc. How long does that last, anyone know???
So What Happened?™
Thank you to everyone for your great responses/information! I went to my postpartum visit and she was very gentle with my examination. Absolutely no pain or discomfort during my exam! She said I was healing just fine and I would be ok in the next few weeks. The soreness has subsided significantly and I am feeling much better = )
A.G. answers from Bakersfield on September 02, 2008
Hello, I am a mother of 2 baby girls. Ages 3 and 1. With my first daughter I tore, but only got 3 stitches. My labor was not long...after I got home the pain from the stitches were not bad. After 5 weeks I was able to "enjoy my husband". It was very scary for me. I thought I was gunna rip open... It was uncomfortable and we stopped but about a week later we were good to go. Just be patient!!!
T.O. answers from San Francisco on September 01, 2008
AHHHHHHH It's all coming back to me as I read your story. For me it was well over 2mo. and lots of lube. the 2nd time is ok the 3rd better and the 4th time your back on track.
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J.S. answers from San Francisco on September 01, 2008
I tore in the same direction you did. It took me a full 2 months plus a lot of artificial lubrication to be ready. Be patient with yourself. It actually takes our bodies about 4 months to be completely healed, but doctors allow us to resume sex at only 6 weeks. Seems crazy... then again the hormones are usually starting to creep up again around that time.
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K.T. answers from Fresno on September 02, 2008
I didn't having any tearing, but I did push for 3.5 hours!! I was sore for a good month, and my husband and I didn't even try and have sex for a good 3 months. It honestly took a full year for me not to have any pain during sex. I did tons of Kegels, but that really didn't seem to help. Even now, when I get my period I have this throbing sensation (which hurts) and the doctor just says to do more Kegels. Hopefully this won't be the case for you.
N.N. answers from Fresno on September 02, 2008
Everyone's healing is different, but I can tell you from experience to keep the communication open with your husband because you may think you are ready to find that you are not. Internal healing is hard to gauge. Intention here is to help not be vulgar, but lubrication is the key. It takes awhile to get that back to normal, so you might want to have some handy before the "big day". One other piece of personal advice is to be prepared that it might not be the same at first, but it will get better. Good luck and have fun!
C.H. answers from Modesto on September 07, 2008
I would wait until you go to your postpartum check up. Your Dr. will be the best judge of when and if you can "enjoy" your husband. I tore south perineum and delivered about 2.5 lbs of placenta that was missed a week after birthing and was still able to take part in the bedroom festivities after my 6 weeks was up. Be forewarned though.... it is going to hurt. But it gets better w/ time and for most people the pain goes away completely.
When I went to the postpartum check up. It was only slightly uncomfortable. I only have like 4 stitches and have a pretty low tolerance for pain though. Good luck!
E.E. answers from San Francisco on September 02, 2008
I had a little bit of tearing and I felt sore for at least 8 weeks. I had my follow-up at 6 weeks not 4 and I didn't want anyone touching me at that point. It depends on how quickly you heal. When you do start enjoying your husband again just take it slow. Use lubrication and you may want to consider being on top so you can control the amount of pressure and penetration (sorry so detailed).
T.R. answers from Stockton on September 02, 2008
You should have been told at least 6 six weeks before engaging in any sexual intercourse and maybe longer depending on how "YOU". The first time will be awkward although it should not be painful. You need time to heal and that can take time. So don't rush it and do any more damage to that already sensitive area. Take the "sore" down there when you get up from the couch, bed etc. as a sign from your body that it is not ready for anymore.
S.B. answers from Redding on September 02, 2008
Congratulations on your new baby!
Since you are going to your appointment this week, you can ask about all these things then. And I know you are afraid to be examined, but you need to let the doctor make sure you are healing well. Even with no tearing or stitches with my daughter, the doctor said to wait six weeks for whoopie. Your case may be a little different depending on how well everything is going back to normal. It's far better to wait it out than risk infection or making things worse.
Best of wishes!