Kindergartner with Major Mood Swings

Hmm. First off, I think all kids, especially boys go through a phase like this at some point.
For the mood swings, two things come to mind.
1. He could be acting out because of what he sees other boys in class doing. If he isn't the lead boy in school, then he may be acting like them at home to prove that he can. Its important to be consistant in correcting him about what is and is not acceptable.

2. His diet. I know that at my kid's school they have a rigid routine of having a snack around 10:30a, lunch at 11:30-12, and then and afternoon snack around 2p. When we are home on weekends and such we don't have such a routine. Could it be that his bloodsugar is a bit low when he's home? This was the case for my son. When he would flip the switch like that I would correct him and tell him that we are taking a break for a drink. That I needed a snack did he want something too. Usually that did the trick, got his mind on something else, and then we could go back to what we were doing before, all with clearer heads.

M.

Now that I have a 5 y/o son I know a lot of Moms of Kindergartners and I cannot tell you how many of them have had the same issues with their child. One thing that most can agree on is that at school your son HAS to be well behaved and when he gets home he craves some control but isn’t quite mature enough to express it correctly. Secondly, they are tired and hungry when they get home some cuddling, and a snack go a long way.

The first thing I want to ask is - knowing that your son is terrified of movies why did you take him? That wasn’t really his fault at all and if someone took me to do something they KNEW I didn’t like, I may be upset too =-)

My son has been defiant lately, throwing tantrums (I posted questions about it too) and the one thing that has made such a huge difference for him was just to talk to him. Your son is 6. Talk to him. My Son and I have some of the best talks as we’re in the car. I talk to him not like a kid, but almost like an adult. I get his side, listen intently to his requests, talk about suggestions and compromise with him. When I let him know that his feelings are valid, he feels better. Talk to him when he is in a good mood and not while having a tantrum or when he is angry. Ask him how YOU can help him.

When my son was throwing tantrums when it was time to end a play date or something, I asked him why one day as we were in the car. He said very clearly “Because you only gave me 10 minutes more and I wasn’t done with the game” I asked him what he would like me to do so that he does not get angry next time and he said “I want 30 more minutes”. So I repeated back so I was sure I understood, that he didn’t like me giving 10 minute warnings anymore that he wanted me to start counting down from 30, then 20 and so on. He was older and 10 minutes just wasn’t working for him anymore. Then he said “YES! That is why I got so mad!” Next time I started warnings 30 minutes before we had to leave and VOILA, changed kid ever since.

Ask him what makes him the most angry and what you can do to help. He may surprise you with his answers.

Since he's had a major asthma attack, I wonder if he simply doesn't feel well most of the time from the asthma. If he's feeling like he can't breath well, that's a scary situation and may be causing him to react the way he does.
As far as how to handle it, I think taking him aside and simply talking with him about his behavior and staying firm in not allowing him such behavior is the best answer. It isn't going to be easy and will take up a lot of your time, but in the long run will be worth it. Sometimes when a child picks on another child, simply not allowing him to be with her will do the trick. As I've worked with children over the years, I've found that sometimes putting myself in the position of the 'bad guy' works. Your daughter may be also, either inadvertantly or on purpose, goading him into his behavior swings. When a disagreement comes up, try sending each of the children to a 'neutral corner' where they cannot see or hear each other, and demand that they are not to play together for a certain amount of time... or until they meet a specific requirement, such as a hug and apology to each other. What may happen is that each child will be angry with you for separating them and will be ready to get along with the other sibling. You, as an adult, can shoulder them being mad at you for a time in order to help them get along better with each other. Just remember, their anger at you will subside as soon as they need something only you can provide for them!

I would talk to the pediatrician. I can reassure you if you have an concerns about ADHD that it's not something that comes on suddenly and it must be consistent at home and at school. So, you can safely rule that condition out. However, a pediatrician can give you insights about what might be going on and refer you to any specialists who might also help. Best to get some input from the experts since this is greatly affecting daily life.

Good luck!

I think you should take him to a doctor, but to tell you the truth, I'm not sure what kind of doctor. I've heard that steroids can continue to affect people long after they quit taking them, but I'm not positive about that. Also, some of his symptoms sound like my granddaughter who has mental/emotional issues and is being treated by a mental health professional.

I would definitely see a therapist...Tangled shouldn't be the type of movie a kid is scared about. Also, I recall my doctor explaining to me that at age 5/6 boys hormones are surging and this can created aggression in the form of hitting, screaming, fighting. Makes sense if you think about nature and the hunter gatherer instinct that is naturally part of the male makeup. However, for your own sanity and the rest of your family, he needs help. I love the book "Have a New Kid by Friday" . Great advice in it for disciplining without screaming.

The reason for this behavior depends largely on how you have handled it. There is no doubt he's a sensitive difficult child. Assuming his home is healthy and loving and clam and his sleep and nutrition are on track; since about age 2, when he screams or behaves aggressively, has he always been calmly and consistently and firmly disciplined for it, but yet at age 5, it hasn't done any good? Or has there never been a problem until now? Or has he always been sort of skittish and discipline was never quite effective and now it's worse? What do you do when he screams at you at the top of his lungs? Does he ever get away with it?

I would see if there is anything at all you can improve in his daily environment regarding love, attention, nutrition, sleep, healthy physical activity, and then firm up his discipline a lot and assess things in 6 months. It seems like he's just testing you since he'a fine at school.

5 is a big developmental age where boys need to be treated more like little men. More responsibility, rough play, privileges, and no nonsense discipline. If he's already got everything perfectly in place along with firm discipline, you could look into assessing him for stuff. This site/book is really good.
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com

You have taught him that you Love and accept him unconditionally. This is to be applauded. He can really let go and vent to you. HOWEVER, bad behaviour needs to be punished. You can still be a loving nurturing parent and punish him for disrespecting you effectively. Find what works and be consistent with it.

He is saving all his outbursts for you because he knows you will not judge him. Redirct his energy. Burn him out just as soon as he gets home from school with some very physical excersize/sport/activity and then give him a protien rich snack. Nutrition is so important in our moods.

BTW, I have a 6 year old and 2 1/2 year old and the 6 year old just got asthma. I discovered he wasn't sleeping well. We all know what being tired can bring you to. :) I got a non-steroid inhaler and give him two puffs at bedtime to be sure he sleeps comfortably. I also just painted his room with paint that had a mildew resistant additive, in case there is some unseen mold or mildew in his room. I also notice he seems more tired on days I forget his muti-vitamins.

Hi Mom, I have 5 children and have raised several foster children as well as being a grandmothe of several children. I just wanted to tell you that your son is a normal little boy. He is going through body changes and is also most likely having growning pains that can cause untold pain as the muscels and ligaments stretch. Just as girls go thru emotional changes before starting thier periods boys go thru many simular items. I have asthma and am often hospitalized for it and have a son with it. If your child is on a low dose of steroids then they may really not be a problem. BUT the fear of not being able to breath and the pain of your heaving chest or the gaping of air is very scarey and should be talked about. I wonder if he is at a place in life that if he is in a state of panic and his emotions are on high alert and you need to be just very patient and spend more one on one time with him. Getting into a siblings face and getting on thier nerves is a part of life. I am happy to say that we have had some glorious emotions that should have won the prize of a golden statue for drama and that they are now all wonderful adults with family of tier own. If you really want to have him to see something that is fun have him watch Veggie Tales, or even Care Bears- they are a great way for children to understand emotions and learn valuable lessons as well as get words to express themselves and that you are safe with. For our son it wasn't going to the movies but the idea that it was darkm a strange place with other people and he wasn't free to make normal noise or just get up and move about.
Parenthood is much like a roller coaster ride with many twists and turns and a scream around every cornor but at the end there is also laughter and lets go again being yelled.

Talk to the ped and get a referral to someone else: a neurologist or a psychologist perhaps? Not totally sure who.
First easy thing I would do if I were you is get him a lot more sleep!

One of my boys was an absolute terror when he didn't get enough sleep! Early bedtime and see if that helps.