49 answers

Kindergarten Teacher Pushing, Talks Rude to My Child Crying, Throwing up in Fear

Hello everyone =) I'm in need of some advice on how I should handle a situation that my five year old is having at school.. My son is very laid back, does his own thing, very friendly however in school he doesn't like to follow rules and says he hates his teacher. He is my only child, and he never actually went to pre-k or daycare so being in kindergarten (even though its two and a half hours) is very different for him.

So it all happened about a week ago when I received a phone call that my son was acting up in the bus line and was sitting on the ground, rolling around and wouldn't be quiet. So all weekend my husband and myself went over the bus line rules with him, everyday before school we did the same thing. So no phone calls we thought everything was okay. I get a phone call at 3:00 saying that my son just threw up and they didn't want to have to put him on the bus. So I ran down there, I got to the nurses office and my son was shaking and crying (I thought he was picked on or something in that nature) so the nurse says the teacher wants to talk to me.. She comes in and sits next to my son, I am across from them she starts to tell me that he had pushed a girl in the bus line the day before because she wasn't getting on the bus.. She then said that he dumped his juice box on the floor as well that day and when she yelled at him he started to throw up. My son later told me when he threw up she yelled at him again saying "Bad Ayden, Your a bad boy you don't throw up on the floor!" (as if he could help it when he's getting screamed at) So then she is explaining to him how he shouldn't push people and asked if he would like to get pushed (he was sitting on the nurse bed with the back part lifted up) and she pushed him so he feel over onto the side of the chair!!!! My mouth dropped I didn't even know what to say! Then she asked if he would like it if she pushed me and he started to get mad. So he was crying hysterical (when she pushed him) and he "flicked" a tear from under his glasses and she get's in his face and says "we don't flick our tears!" in a stern voice.. By the time I got my kid home both of us were so worked up. I sat him on the couch and was trying to explain to my husband what happened I grabbed my son to help him on the couch and he started to freak out crying and started to throw up everywhere.. This continued all night! Kindergarten is the foundation of our children's future and she's really putting a damper on his.. We kept him out of school on friday since he was still very upset. Now we are waiting for his teacher and the principle to call back for a meeting.. There is no other kindergarten teachers in that school and honestly I don't want him to be in her class it hasn't even been a month and she's tramatizing him! If any of you were in my situation what would you do? How would you go about handling this? Would you try to transfer schools?

Thank you for any reply in advance!!!

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I'm so sorry he is having such an awful first experience at school. It sounds like that teacher shouldn't be teaching at all, anywhere, that is absolutely abusive behavior. If the principal doesn't help, get him out of there. If you can't transfer schools, maybe just take him out and send him to a gentle pre-k somewhere else for this year so he can see that school can be a good place. I think in most stated kindergarten isn't mandatory, so if things went well at a preschool for the year he could just go into 1st grade next year. I hope the meeting goes well, let us know what happens.

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Wow... that teacher should be fired. I would pull my son out of that school today! The way she was talking to him and treating him is abusive!

You are a bigger person than me cause I would have pushed that teacher right off her butt after she pushed my child like that!!!

Have the meeting with the school and if they don't change, pull him out and place him some place else. You might not be the only parent that has had a problem with this teacher's behavior and this could be her last chance and she will no longer have a job! If you don't get any satisfaction from the talk with the principle and teacher, go file a complaint with the school board.

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I didn't read allthe posts, so I'm sorry if this is a repeat. I think some good advice is this: the school promises to believe half of the stuff they hear about home, if you promise to believe half of the stuff you hear about school. I have no doubt that your son was honestly very upset by the events at school the other day; I do have a hard time believing the situation was exactly as he described it.

I think you should take some time to figure out how you can talk to the teacher and principle rationally to come up with a plan to get your son comfortable at school. You're talking about a huge transition fro
being home all the time to being in a quasi-academic environment. I would not pull him out of school or ask to change classes at this point; instead try to figure out how you can be a team with the teacher, rather than an adversary.

I don't mean to sound harsh or uncaring, because I'm sure that I would be a mess if my kid came home as upset as yours. But as a teacher, I've been on the other end of outraged parent phone calls because the parent had only hear the kids version of events. Honestly, there's been a lit of embarrased apologizing to me because they come, guns blazing, accusing me of things that simply weren't 100 percent true. If they had called wondering what the heck is going on and how can we all make it work, the conversation is much more productive.

Best of luck.

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I think, after all that has happened, it would very hard to take your son back to that class and feel good about it. I would have the meeting (as a formal documentations of your complaints-it may happen again with another student) and transfer to a new school. The teacher sounds like she got the job by mistake and was really meant to be a bill collector or something.

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You did the right thing by requesting a meeting with the Principal and the teacher.

If this is a private school you decide if you want to pull your child out and be refunded your money for tuition. If so make a written request with the below information.. If they refuse, see an Attorney, but still move your child.

Is this a public school? If so this what I would do.
Before you go, write out every incident you have been told about and the dates you were contacted.. Then also write out what happened just like you listed here.. Make 4 copies and cc them to the Teacher, the Principal and the Superintendent of schools. Include your name, your address and your contact information..

Then go to the meeting with these pages and give a copy to the teacher the Principal and tell them the one for the Superintendent will be sent once you get home and have typed up the minutes from this meeting and then mail it or drop it off at the Superintendents office.

There is no reason for your son to have been treated this way and they really crossed the line with the teacher still bullying him in front of you.

I am so sorry this happened. Try to be strong for your son. You need to be his advocate. He needs to know you can handle this. If your son ends up in therapy, I would suggest you document and keep all receipts in case a legal case ends up happening..

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Definitely document everything so you can report it to the superintendent of the school. Have a meeting first thing with the teacher and the principal, then schedule a meeting with the superintendent. You have a right to ask what is going to be done about this.
I would transfer your son to a different school, but not before this entire incident is reported.
I wouldn't take your son out of school all together though. That's just me. It sounds like he might benefit from a pre-k for the rest of the year. That way he has a chance to learn the good things about school from someone who is more experienced with properly dealing with children who've never been in a school setting before.
My son's kindergarten teacher was very firm and very structured. She tolerated zero monkey business, BUT she was very loving. He's in high school now and he still says she's the best teacher he ever had.
I wonder if there's some way you can find out if she's had complaints filed against her before?

I certainly hope you get something worked out and you can find a way for your son to learn to like school. I think a different teaching environment is your best bet.

Let us know what happens.

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I have four children, the youngest is in middle school now, and we have lived in 9 different school districts throughout the USA...and we have seen some interesting stuff happening through the years - not usually our children involved though.

First of all, this teacher should not be left alone in a classroom with children. I would call the police and explain to them what you witnessed, and allow your child to also tell his story to them (they will bring in other officials if necessary).
Secondly, it might help if you decided (one of you parents) to be a classroom volunteer (there should be no limits on how much time you spend in the classroom - this is YOUR school, the teacher is a hired employee who can be fired). That way you can watch how she is treating ALL the students in the classroom and perhaps she is being a bully to only your child, but it could be that she treats all the kids that way. You need to get to know the parents of all the other students (invite them over and talk - but keep an open mind and don't get mad if they point out things your child is doing), and if they are also complaining about the teacher then demand to go to the school superintendent all together - and do NOT allow them to only visit with you one on one (because they will try to convince you that no one else is having this problem).
However, if your child is not denying that he is acting this way, it could have a good deal to do with your parenting. He obviously knows what to do to get attention, and when he doesn't like something he seems to feel free to act out (pushing someone else). Throwing up can come from being stressed out because you got caught in your bad behavior too. So, the whole picture needs to be looked at. You say your son is 'laid back', but is it because he always gets what he wants at home so has no need to act out? Also, when the teacher pushed him in front of you - what was your response? Mine would have been to call 911 immediately and take my child to a safe location. But, you allowed her to keep traumatizing him!

If you know behavior is not okay (with ANY adult) it is your duty as a parent to protect your child. If none of the above advise gets you anywhere then yes, I would transfer schools but I would also demand that your child's file be expunged of any negative stuff before it is sent to the new school - or you could have a problem at the new school too.

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This woman teaches KINDERGARTEN? Wow. It sounds like she's an awful person, and it's especially horrible that she is teaching the youngest children. Your post brought back some vivid memories of my first grade teacher. She was a horrible woman who hated children. I remember being terrified of her. When she passed away (when I was in 8th grade), I remember being relieved - isn't that awful? But that's how horrible she was. To this day, 30 years later, I still remember being yelled at by that awful woman, and I remember watching her grab my friend by the ear, yanking her out of the chair and ripping her earring out of her ear in the process. To this day, it feels like I saw it yesterday. My mom feels so badly because she never knew how awful this teacher was - she said she'd have taken me out of the class immediately if she had known. I can't believe I never said anything to my parents!

So anyhow, the point is, you DO know how awful this woman is. She's the wrong teacher for any child, but more importantly she's the wrong teacher for your son. Go have a meeting with the principal and file a formal complaint, and then ask for a transfer to another school. Your son should have happy memories of Kindergarten, not be set up for failure in his first school experience. He shouldn't be so stressed out that he's throwing up all night. That just breaks my heart. You have to get him out of there. Don't make him spend one more day in this teacher's classroom!

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When I first started reading your question my thoughts were "oh dear, she is misinterpretting what happened because her son is not able to keep his feelings about the situation seperated from the facts of the situation" BUT then I read what the teacher did in your presence and my entire attitude changed!!!
You have taken the right first steps...removing your child from the situation and setting up a meeting with the principal and the teacher. Since this is the only "choice" you have as far as a teacher in that school, I would seriously consider changing your son to another school...or as one of the other Mom's suggested ....consider a pre-K program to help your child get better acclimated to the school atmosphere after this bad start that is not in any way his fault.
At the meeting, you and your husband need to work as a team...one of you do the majority of the talking and the other one take detailed notes of what is being discussed. I would then write a letter to the Superintendant, detailing what your child told you happened before you arrived at school, what happened in your presence in the nurses office and then the details of the meeting that you have. There is no reason for this type of behavior to be allowed to continue...kindergarten lays the groundwork for the rest of the childs school experience and it sounds to me like this teacher does NOT need to be the one laying that foundation!!!
Good luck to you and to your little one

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I think Laurie has given you some excellent advice. The key is to document everything - dates, words, actions and witnesses (e.g. the nurse). Make your reporting as EMOTIONLESS as you can. Just the facts! For example, do not say "I don't approve of how she treated my son." Say "Mrs. X put her right hand on Joey and pushed him sideways into the back of the bench. Nurse Y witnessed this incident." Then factually say that "Joey wiped a tear from beneath his eye and Mrs. X moved to within 8 inches of his face and said...." Have your husband read it over, and also a trusted friend - make sure it is solidly proofread for errors in grammar or spelling as this will help your case. Sign it first, then make copies. This information goes to the principal as well as the superintendent of schools. Whether you give it to the teacher or not is your choice - the principal will certainly share it with her. You want to make sure that the principal and superintendent receive it FIRST.

Document what your child said about being told not to throw up.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal for teachers to forcibly touch a child that way. Guiding a child into line or onto a bus is one thing. Touching a child or restraining him to prevent physical danger is acceptable - for example, a kid taking a swing at another on the playground. But in a controlled situation like the nurse's office? Uh uh.

The only thing your child is lacking is experience in a school setting. The other children who have attended preschool already know some skills about lining up, sitting in a circle, listening to the teacher, etc. If your child is the only one with no experience and he's in a room of 18 or 20, it can be overwhelming. The other kids are doing things instinctively at this point but it's completely foreign to your child.

You also should be extremely open to the fact that 5 year olds don't always tell things exactly as they happened. They embellish, they misinterpret, their fear colors their explanations. You MUST allow for the possibility that a) your son was not in control at the school to start with, and 2) he might not have told you the story exactly right. This might not be an intentional lie - it might just be his perception in the middle of being extremely upset. However, all this throwing up is clearly indicative of a stressful situation - once a kid is throwing up, NO ONE should be telling him not do or saying "We don't throw up on the floor." But make sure that's exactly what was said - and it's not just his perception that throwing up is a bad thing and therefore the teacher must have been angry about it.

I would absolutely pursue this situation with the school administration. If you are not completely satisfied with the superintendent's response to you and whatever action steps she plans to take, you need to give your documentation to the police. They may not have enough to go on, but they will have it on file. Do not threaten to press charges against the teacher to her face, and do not threaten it as a way to get the administration to do something. Also, personnel matters are confidential so do not expect the superintendent to tell you if there have been previous complaints, or to tell you what has been said to the teacher. You CAN ask what the policies and procedures are in cases like this. Don't be intimidated if they say this has never happened before. They have to have procedures in place long before there is an incident.

I would also look at some short term therapy for your child so that he can process this incident and realize that not all teachers and not all school situations are the same. Otherwise, what happens the next time?? Start with your pediatrician and then see about a referral. Your pedi should be advised of this excessive vomiting anyway - maybe start with a phone call and see if the pedi wants you to come in.

You could consider putting him in a pre-k class that is smaller and in a different location entirely. He might do better in a class of, say, 12 kids than in a class of 22 (or whatever the size is of his current class). Going there by car with you and not dealing with a bus, but still starting in a classroom experience, might be beneficial. Home-schooling has been suggested, but frankly, this issue is not about academics - it's about socialization, being in a group, dealing with structure and authority, etc.

Good luck.

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Now that you have had a chance to get your nerves abotu you, You need to make a police report. Was the nurse in the room with you? Document everything, print this page if you have to and take this to the principal, tell them the police have been contacted, if she did it to your son she surely has done it to other children as well.
Also it wont' hurt to miss a couple days of kinder until this is resolved. She should be immediately put on administrative leave, then fired after the investigation.

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I personally would have demanded the principle come to the nurses office immediately and would have contacted the police. She not only broke school rules but also the law. She should not be responsible for young children (college maybe) but she is a bully (among other things). I would not send my child back there until this teacher is removed from the classroom. If she has done this in front of you, what does she do without a parent or other witness?????

Since the moment has passed, it is now time to notify the police, superintendent, and principle. I would notify the principle what transpired and find out how quickly she will be out of the classroom! This is completely inappropriate, unacceptable, and truly a crying shame. Kids this age typically want to learn and it sets the stage for all future learning.

Aside from this, your son may be a little socially unprepared for the demands of kindergarten. If he is one of the younger kids, you may want to consider waiting another year. If the problem is just the teacher, hopefully getting her out of his classroom may solve the problem. Otherwise, you may want to school choice to another district or consider a private kindergarten program.

Best of luck.

EDIT: I later read someone else's response about needing to know both sides. That is true for the stuff that you did not witness but YOU witnessed the events in the nurse's office and the effect it had on your son. I don't care what his behavior was before or after this, she was out of line in a major way!

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Change schools, report the teacher, and press charges. That's what I think.

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I am so sorry for what you and your precious little one are going through!!

If it were me I would NOT put up with that from ANYONE in charge of my baby! I would have her fired. At the very least I would insist she get counseling, more training in child development, maybe even anger management. She needs unpaid leave until she can get a handle on her emotions. She may need to be on meds. You are right that this could damage his lifetime relationship with the school system. Whatever happens, she would NEVER be allowed around my son without another adult to supervise, whether is it me, another teacher, the principal or vice-principal, a school counselor - someone.

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Can you please give us an update on what has transpired since this incident?

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I am a teacher and am completely appalled by what I just read. Seriously, this is grounds for dismissal. It needs to be reported to the principal and quite honestly, if they don't file a report with the state department of education, you should. They will place her on leave and begin an investigation. I am SO sorry your son has been treated like this.

In the interim, take your child to your pediatrician and therapist. If they won't change teachers, or you are uncomfortable, call the local districts nearby and ask if they have open enrollment. This means the public $ (if this is public education) will be transferred with your child from your district to the one he is attending. Best of luck to you.

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maybe i shouldn't respond right now. i feel very angry. Angry with how his teacher handled him, the disrespect, the insensitivity... It blows me away, and at the same time reminds me of an attitude i have seen before. When people need rules obeyed and never stop to think or feel what the special situation, the child, themselves need to stay calm and handle somethin with respect and grace. I am so sorry for you and your son. I think you should change the school and start over, find a teacher who knows about sensitivity and respects that as a good and promising trait in boys and girls. I do not believe that discipline should ever become a power battle like that teacher picked. I feel sorry that she feels so powerless and small hat she has to take this ot on your son. the poor child.

The reason i recommend changing schools is to start over and make school a fresh experience for your son. On teh other hand, it is a bit like leaving behind a teacher that also needs to learn and improve, so that other chldren won't be harmed.

good luck! Hope you, your husband and your son are supporting each other well through this! Sounds like it, anyway.

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I would be curious to see if this teacher has any other complaints filed against her. This is probably a little extreme but if nothing was done after contacting the principal I might be angry enough to call my local news.

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That's terrible...If it were me, I would put that teacher in her place. I would tell her that she keeps her hands to herself, she doesn't bully my kid, and she doesn't tell him he's a bad kid. The next time she touches my kid, her job will be on the line. Is there a different school he can go to? I would do everything to get him away from her. And, I would turn her in because she will likely do this to other kids. Could you maybe homeschool him until he is in the first grade? He doesn't HAVE to go to kindergarten. You could teach him his basics and have play dates with other kids so that he gets that interaction.

Good luck.

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I would let the school know what is going on and what she did to your son in your presence. Then I would pull him out of that school since there are no other kindergarten classrooms he could switch into. I don't see how he can have a good experience with her in the future. Give him a fresh start somewhere else.

Children do remember bad experiences with teachers. To this day I can remember bad experiences I had with my first grade teacher. She should not have been teaching. I never told my mom until I was older. She wishes she would have known so she could have done something.

Be grateful your son has told you what is happening to him and get him out of that classroom and into a school with a warm nurturing environment. This is what kindergarten should be like.

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Hi N.,
I am a teacher and I do agree with Jane's post. Before your child goes back to his Kinder class, you need to have a meeting with the principal and teacher. This should happen Monday so as not to prolong the situation. I would suggest your husband attends too, if possible. Be clear to the principal about what happened in your in the nurse's office. This is what you saw and what you know 100% happened. It was totally out of line and the principal needs to take action with the teacher.
That should only be part of the meeting. You need to discuss what is best for your child now. You need to gain some confidence in the school and your son needs to feel safe in his classroom.
Since your son did not attend preschool this is a huge adjustment for him. Preschool is about learning to follow rules and routines. You said yourself he does not like rules and there are a lot of rules in kindergarten. Is he on the young side? Would he benefit from a year at preschool? It may be hard to hear, but his behavior is probably an issue. Try and work with the school. If this not possible, you should ask about transferring school.
I hope it all works out. Kindergarten should be a wonderful year for your son. Good luck.

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I'm so sorry he is having such an awful first experience at school. It sounds like that teacher shouldn't be teaching at all, anywhere, that is absolutely abusive behavior. If the principal doesn't help, get him out of there. If you can't transfer schools, maybe just take him out and send him to a gentle pre-k somewhere else for this year so he can see that school can be a good place. I think in most stated kindergarten isn't mandatory, so if things went well at a preschool for the year he could just go into 1st grade next year. I hope the meeting goes well, let us know what happens.

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In my opinion it is never, EVER ok for an adult to push a child - whether her intentions were to teach empathy or whatever errant thought made it a feasable choice in her head. SHE is the adult, and as such should be able to control herself when upset - wouldn't THAT teach the students in her class how better to behave. Instead, she's taking the 'do as I say not as I do' approach which NEVER works.

I can't believe I've read posts actually DEFENDING this teacher's actions. If any adult put an aggressive hand on my child there would be hell to pay, let me assure you. No rational parent would just brush something like this off (and I'm not saying this is what you're doing). Go with your gut and keep your child away from this woman.

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Tons of great support and practical advice which I don't want to repeat. But maybe check your district's policy guidebook. Our district has an entire sub-policy booklet on bullying. If your district has one, I would quote it to them verbatim and ask if it only applies to the students or to the teachers as well.

We had a teacher that told us our son "was too caring of his friends" and we were *encouraged* to help him become "a man". She was a yeller and started every conversation with every parent with "You know, I have 19 other kids in the room...". I firmly believe she would've never said the things she said to me if I had a daughter instead of a son. I believe she traumatized my son emotionally. And I am still seething about it years later but feel like my hands are tied as I don't want her acting out against my son in the future or his little brother in some sort of revenge mode. So tho it is easy for all of us to say "go get her" I also know just how hard it is to be a good advocate. My thoughts are with you.

Wow! What a piece of work!!! There is no reason for a teacher to lay a hand on a child in anger!! I would request a meeting with the principal and guidance counselor and tell them exactly what you witnessed. If her behavior does not change I believe it is your right to transfer schools at the districts cost. Your child is obviously not being educated if he's afraid to go to school!

Get him out of that class now!! The "teacher" is being abusive. Obviously she has some very serious control and anger issues. When you can meet with the principle tell her exactly what happened, and how you felt about it at the time. Then mention that you may want the school to pay for some counseling sessions for your son to preempt any long term fears he may develop about school, authority figures, trust issues, etc. Hopefully that will get across how VERY serious the teacher's actions were. Honestly, if that teacher's actions had been taped and put up on Youtube this would become a National discussion.

Transfer and good luck to you and your son but I would still pursue disciplinary action on the teacher.


Transfer and good luck to you and your son but I would still pursue disciplinary action on the teacher.

I think I might've pushed her! That's awful and I can't imagine what your child is going through..or you for that matter. See what the principal suggests/does and no matter what..do not let your child go back to her class. She should not be a teacher!!! Best of luck.

My goodness - I've read most of the answers below and just wanted to lend my support to you. I can imagine it's really difficult for you guys right now and you're trying to find the best way to proceed. I would echo everyone's advice about the meeting essentially being a formal complaint, and you need to involve the superintendent as well. I would just like to add, that it will be very important to show to your son how you are handling this. You need to sit down with him and explain that it was NOT right for this woman to act this way at that you will do everything in your power to make sure she is punished. I would ALSO insist that this teacher APOLOGISE DIRECTLY to your son, so he can see that there were consequences for her and he can find a way to put this behind him.

I too remember so many of my early school years - in my case I'm glad and feel lucky to say they were resoundingly positive. It's clear you want that for your son, so make sure you help him to regain his confidence and find him the correct environment to learn in. He may have some "growing up to do" as he learns how to behave in a classroom setting, but honestly, NOTHING excuses that woman's behaviour. NOTHING.

Good luck!

This is such a tough way for your son to start soon - I really sympathize with you and your family. Others have posted great replies. My only suggestion is that you write it all down - what your son said happened, what you saw happen and what you would like to see happen next. Be as factual as possible using the words the teacher used as you remember them. It is good for you to start documenting any interactions that you have - just in case you need or want to take this further - school superintent, school board, etc. You can bring it with you during your meeting or drop it off before so the principal and the teacher will be able to address each of the items you list. If you present this documentation to the principal -have someone you respect and trust look it over and give you suggestions.
Good Luck!

Aside from dealing with the teacher, which needs to be done. You can consider your child going to kindergarten in a different district. The school would still be responsible for busing him to and from school & he could remain at the other school until middle school. Generally elementary schools are not that spread out. I would not only meet with the teacher and princliple, but also the superintendent. You can also look into having a child advocate go with you to the meeting. If they don't find a solution that your 100% comfortable with, I would just homeschool for kindergarten and try to find some social playgroups for your son. That way he won't miss out on anything. There's no reason for a child in kindergarten to not love school. Good luck.
One last thing, if you find a good solution for your child, I would go to the school at dismissal & help you son get onto the bus the first few times or have the school asign a bus buddie who can help your son out the first few times.

WHOA! N. - I didn't see this coming! First I was astonished when the teacher admitted "yelling" at him before the vomiting episode, but then you get to the pushing him and threatening to push his mother - and my jaw dropped. You need to have a meeting FIRST with just the principal. You let him know beforehand that your child was physically assaulted by the teacher in front of you and that he/she may wish to have the superintendent of schools present as you are seeking legal council on this matter. You don't go in there nervous or emotional - you go in there pissed, strong, with demands, and ready to take action if the school does not take immediate action!! You want the greatest penalty they can administer immediately applied to this woman. (such as - If not being fired, b/c of unions - suspension/investigation/an observer in her classroom)You want your son to be immediately provided his education under a different instructor. You want a formal apology from this teacher and the school to you and your son.

If they don't seem to want to immediately respond - stay calm and let them know that your lawyer will be in touch soon and the media will be notified within hours. Then do it. Start with the media, find a lawyer to work for you pro bono, call the police, social services, and the PTO.

You are your child's advocate, but this is a fight for all the children under this woman's care.
Simply unacceptable with no room for apologies alone.

Have your husband with you, or someone else for moral support.Write down all your concerns and read them. That way if you get emotional [and I would too] you can keep your thought process. that teacher should be fired and replaced. Good luck please keep us posted as to what happens. We are with you.

I would take my son out of that class. is it possible for your son to wait another year to enter k. maybe he could go to pre-k this year and they could work on his school behavior with him. the teacher should never had yelled at him for vomiting. she should always talk in a firm-calm tone. most of all, she should not have touched him. She is a bad teacher. Your son is only 5. Yes, 5 year olds push eachother sometimes. Maybe in pre-k they will have nicer teachers. I am sorry your son went through that.

Everyone else has given very good advice. I just wanted to post and give you my support. Your poor son! What that woman did was unprofessional and sick. Seriously sick. Had she done that in front of me, to my child, she would have very much regretted doing so. She needs to be fired. period. Do not send him back to her class.

Oh my goodness! You are right, Kindergarten IS the foundation of their learning experience. This is outrageous. I would definitely not allow my child to return. In addition I would be sure to report the incident to not only the principal but also to the superintendent.

You are a bigger person than me cause I would have pushed that teacher right off her butt after she pushed my child like that!!!

Have the meeting with the school and if they don't change, pull him out and place him some place else. You might not be the only parent that has had a problem with this teacher's behavior and this could be her last chance and she will no longer have a job! If you don't get any satisfaction from the talk with the principle and teacher, go file a complaint with the school board.

Im Sorry, but did I read this right, and you said this teacher pushed your son, and he fell???? Now, I do agree, he has some behavior issues that seriously need to be worked on. This is a huge adjustment for children, I too sent my daughter to kindergarten this year. Some say I am a bit dramatic, but if I read this right, and this woman put her hands on your son in a violent way, you bet your butt he would be out of that school in a jiffy! I would maybe even contant police. If this teacher cannot handle him without putting her hands on him, she doesnt need to be a teacher!

If that "Teacher?!?" will do what she did IN FRONT OF YOU what will she do when no one is watching???? Pull him from her class, even if it means homeschooling....talk to EVERYONE, Principle, people in charge of that district ( I forget what the term is ) also did the nurse witness this? If the school was not going to take action I would sue, and I am not a sue happy person...

She is a teacher and she pushed your child? I would contact Child Protective Services (or whatever they have in your state) and/or the police and the school board. That is unacceptable!

Wow, I'd have been shaking from anger! I probably would have said something when she pushed him in front of me, but that's not what matters. If there are no other teachers, I'd definitely transfer him after talking to the principal. I can't imagine the situation improving at all. I'm so sorry this had to happen to your little one. And if the principal isn't going to act, it may be time to get child services in there because I guarantee this isn't the only child this has happened to. Good luck!

OMG - I would have knocked the teacher out if she laid her hands on your already terrified self. You need to protect him and the other kids he goes to school with. If no action is taken - absolutely get him out of that situation since your job is to protect him. How horrible! Stay strong and let your momma bear instinct come out.

I would do what you are doing and have a meeting with the principal and the teacher. Saying you getting conflicted reports from the teacher and your son. If he is that upset it did happen the way he says it did. That teacher has no right to talk to them that way. I am with you I dunno if I would send him back. Find another school for him or get soemthing from the principal saying what you should do. That is bad feel bad for your son. Good luck

That's awful! What a horrible teacher, I can't believe she teaches kindergarten! If I faced a situation like that I would take my child out and try homeschooling (that's what we're doing in the future). But of course not everyone can or wants to. The school board should know about that teacher's behavior. She shouldn't be teaching.
Sad thing is, most schools will not allow you in class, and parents don't have the 'right' to be on school premises during school hours. This and more parental rights are about to disappear. Read more at parentalrights dot org.
We are homeschooling not just because of teachers like that, but because as you mentioned "Kindergarten is the foundation of our children's future", and frankly I think that foundation is the responsibility of the parents, not a stranger who will never love your child the same, no matter how nice they are.

You and your husband go to the school on Monday morning about 45 minutes early. Meet with the principle and the teacher,
make yourself crystal clear to both of them that you do not approve of her yelling and her putting her hands on your son and that if it ever happens again you will press charges against her.
Enough is enough and she will show your son the respect that he deserves.
Make it clear that you will have a talk with him and help him do the best that he can on his part.

If this doesnt go well then if I was you then I would think about taking him out of that school and put him in another school.

If you cant take him out of the school then I would make sure that I take this to a higher level than the school principle.

I wish you all the best.

This is one reason why I homeschool my children.

Wow... that teacher should be fired. I would pull my son out of that school today! The way she was talking to him and treating him is abusive!

I just wanted to tell you that your email almost made ME cry. The teacher sounds like she's too intense. I would find a better kindergarten teacher for your son. Good luck!

Yea I would like an update too... I want to say I would have knocked the woman out for doing that to my kid but I think the shock would have stopped me too.

Ditto with Mrs. L. Get him out of there yesterday! I had a teacher bully my ADHD son I pulled him out waited until he was 6 to send him back and moved mean while to another area for another school. he had a better experience. He is doing better and loves school he's in 4th grade now. File complaints i didn't and regret not doing so.

My preamble is: I can see both sides.

The teacher pushed the child (probably not near as hard as he may have pushed that other little girl) to simply give him the basic feeling of how it would feel to another child.

She then asked how he would feel if she pushed his Mother - which again is showing a COMPARISON of how another person would feel about seeing him push another child.

Both lessons are meant to show empathy and realistically how another person would feel if the roles were reversed. That is actually the ACCEPTED manner of discipline in schools - would you rather they did corporal punishment?

The 'don't throw up on the floor'... I'm sure if you were supervising other 5 year olds... you'd expect children of that age to have a bit more control about where they defecate and vomit... wouldn't you? As a parent of the other students, wouldn't you be upset that a child threw up on or directly around where your child was standing/sitting/playing - at the age of 5?

Flinging tears - - that is a body fluid. If he had pink eye and flicked tears, he could easily infect other children and staff.

OK - - now showing that side - -

I can completely understand why you may feel she was being extra hard on your child - - after all you never prepared him in how to act in a school setting or socialized him in a class like environment where behaviors and group actions are taught - - after having thrown him in with both feet in a new experience, environment and social climate.

I think you should try to see that Teacher's side and make a compromise to teach more socially accepted mannerisms, which include keeping hands to selves, washing hands, wiping face with tissue and listening to teacher - while asking the teacher to keep in mind this is his first time in such a structured setting where expectations are different than he is used to.

You are correct - kindergarten should not be a negative experience. The teacher had no right to push your son and she should be reprimanded (at the least) for her actions. Can you home school? A lot of kids have transition issues, but physical stuff like pushing and acting out will not (and should not) be tolerated in any school. However, that said, NO teacher worthy of her title would EVER push a child back. I would consider getting the superintendent involved and inform the principal of what you are considering doing. Your son may have some discipline issues, but no child can be treated this way! Try not to discuss things infront of your child. Let him know that you support him and will make things better for him. Maybe you can be in class a few times to help out and really see what's going on? Remember that as parents we walk a difficult path, but you can do anything for your kid. In the future, make sure the principal understands what type of a teacher that you are looking for for your child; that he responds better to kindness, not yelling. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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