Kindergarten Cut-Off Date-Appeal for Early Entry or Not

My youngest sons birthday is Sept 9th and the cutoff in Fl was Sept 1st. We are now in NC where the cutoff is Oct 16, but starting next school year it will be Sept 1st. So for right now there are several kids that are younger than my son, but there are several who are his age and a few who are older (mostly due to being held back). My son is a straight A student, in the AG class and loves learning! Had I fought it, I am not sure if he would have done as well. The next question for you is, is your son mature enough to deal with older children? Older children can be brutal towards younger kids in class because they are smaller or less "worldly". I hope this helps some.

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My nephew was in the same boat as your son. His birthday was Sept.1 with a cut off of Aug. 31. They fought to get him in only to have the teacher say he was not ready for kindergarten a week in to school. He was ready academically, but not emotionally or maturity. The took him out and put him back into preschool until the next year and now he is thriving. He was not ready to have to compete against kids that were a year older than him even though he had done it all his life with his 2 older brothers. He also had 2 younger sisters so it wasn't the youngest child syndrome. If you can, find a prekindergarten instead of a preschool for next year.

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I would strongly encourage you to let your son be the oldest child in the classroom instead of the youngest child in the classroom. My husband was the youngest child in the classroom and it made it tougher on him. He was always the last to do anything--the last to get his driver's license, the last to turn 18, etc. He did not turn 18 until he was in college. He felt it hurt him in sports. He went to college on sports scholarhips and he felt like if he had that extra year of growth he would have been bigger and stronger.

My son turned 5 on October 9, so he was always the oldest in the class. When he was three years old he was in a small pre-school and he was in a classroom of 3, 4, and 5 year olds. When he was 3 years old, his teacher thought he was 5 years old because he was tall for his age and he was smart. She prepared him for kindergarten at age 3 and he did not go to kindergarten for 2 more years. My husband insisted that we were not going to start him in kindergarten early. My son is 19 years old now and looking back I think it really helped him to be the oldest in the class. He graduated from high school with a 3.8 grade point average and he played 4 sports and went to state championships in football and track. He got his driver's license first, turned 18 first and developmentally just seemed to be older and more responsible than other kids in his class. His teachers and other parents would often comment to me on how responsible he was and what a good head he had on his shoulders.

Boys mature slower than girls. With boys I think it really helps them to be older than the other students in their grade instead of younger than them.

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I am the mother of a boy born Oct 2nd. I would strongly encourage you to keep him back. He may be academically ready, but emotionally, boys tend to need more time.

Then there is the issue of physical size. Unless he is heads and tails above the other kids now, I doubt you want him to be the little one in the class.

I struggled with the decision regarding my own son. I was an overachiever and hated the thought of him losing a year, but I think we made the right decision. Besides, life is too short to rush through it!

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My son is graduating this year. Out of all his friends he is the only one that is 17 all his friends are already 18. His birthday is in July they did not want him to start but we did any way he did not do very well on the evaluation. It only took him a few months to catch up with the other children. He is now a straight A student. If your son is a fast learner I do not see any reason not to start him.

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I have a friend who's son's b-day is on sept 2nd.He is very smart, (was talking in sentences at 16 months) .She chose to hold him back. She said even though he is advanced academically, she did not feel like he was mature socially.It's defferent with every child though. I know a girl who skipped 2 grades in high school(but they say that girls mature earlier)

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My son who is now 9 was targeted by his Kindergarden teacher as a "young" 5 year old. His K year was a real nightmare. She pigeon-holed him for the entire year and he stayed nervous and unsure of himself. His 1st grade teacher was super and really turned around the negative K year. Now that we are up in 4th grade, it's another tough year. Don't just think about what bringing him forward now would do, but also consider whether you'll be ready to send him off to college a year sooner? Being the oldest in the class is also better for being first in things like getting your license. I was a year ahead in school and it was tough being the last one to be eligible for activities that were age based when all your friends at school are able to do it.

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I think it really depends on what your child is ready for. I know that some response are talking about him being the last to do the things is friends get to do. I was always that kid in school and it didn't really bother me. Did I want my drivers license when my friends got them nearly a year before I did, yeah, but I still got to ride with them so it didn't really bother me. If your son is at the maturity leave and needs the challenge then give it too him. My stepson was not challenged and we ended up changing schools because he was so bored, the school was not able to challenge him, now he wasn't young for his grade, but it's important to tailor the education system as much as possible to meet your childs needs.

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I didn't read your other response(s), but speaking from experience (and lots of years of living and observing) I believe it's always better to start too late than too early (if those are the only choices). Firstborns are usually more ready for school than subsequent offspring, but also girls are usually more ready than boys, so if it was a girl I might recommend the 'testing' or whatever it takes to get her in 'early', but not a boy.

He's not starting Kindergarten at age 4, is he? Just Pre-K, right? Still, I don't think 'jumping ahead' of the schedule or pace that he's already started is a good thing in most cases. Just let it ride.

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This is our thought on this. I have 4 kids, one has skipped 2nd, a girl and she could have also skipped 7th but we didn't let her. She is already set to graduate right after she turns 17 and will probably finish high school a year early, making her graduation be a month after 16. She wants it. She has had no issues being the youngest in the high school taking AP classes as a freshmen.
My other daughter is an Oct baby and the cut off in CA at the time was Dec 1. I couldn't imagine her going in to Kindergarten at 4, even though she could read and add. She is bright but much more immature that my elder daughter.
My 8 year old (2nd grade) is also advanced academically and goes into the 5th grade class for math. I will not advance him until he hits highschool. At that point he can take the classes that suit him and if he too is the only freshman in a senior AP Stats class then so be it.
Just my opinion but I would keep him with his peers for now and if he shows a great difference in maturity than his peers then move him up. For example my daughter who skipped never played with dolls, she would rather read a book. She had no friends in kindergarten but hung out with 3rd graders.
Another thing, children can take Duke Tip tests at 4th grade. That might help him as he gets older and bored of school. THey can also take the SAT in 7th and that opens many doors for them.

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DON'T DO IT!

I too had an extremely bright preschooler. She learned her ABC's and their sounds before she was even 2 1/2. Her preschool teachers even told us not to hold her back because we would be wasting her time. We had her tested into a kindergarten, and she far surpassed even their expectations.

She is now in second grade, where I have watched her struggle a little more each year. The problem isn't so much accademicly as mentally and emotionally, she really is not up to par with the 8 year olds in her class. She is a little more immature, and some of this does transfer over accademically. We have been thinking about holding her back this year, rather than watch her struggle for the rest of her life.....

I was even speaking with a woman yesterday who has a young third grader, and she says for a few years now they have had the same problem and have also been tortured with the decision of holding her back...and it's the same thing as with my daughter...the school won't hold them back because accademically they are okay, but everything else is just not right..

You also have to think of high school. Putting your child in school early means that he is going to be faced with tough situations even earlier, and may even go off to college at 17 years old......What ever decision you make, good luck!!! I would honestly do it all over again, though.

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Why are they (your husband and mother-in-law) opposed to having him with children his own age? I am assuming that he's that far behind because they place the kids by school year and not by actual age.

I am due with a child on September 11th and I hate the fact that Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools have moved their cutoff to 8/31. I already plan to have him early tested to get him in. Another year of daycare for 11 days- it's ridiculous. Where do you live?

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I was going to put my child in kindergarten at 4 but after talking to my mom I didn't. My sister went in early and did really well but my mom said once she got to Junior High she ran into a lot of problems with my sister getting exposed to situations she felt she wasn't mentally not mature for. I took her advice and now I think my child has a leg up on the competition because she is smart and mature for kindergarten. Good luck.

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Hold him back!! I have four boys and can tell you that most people hold the boys back in school...even though he may be advanced it will be much more difficult for him socially(and especially athlectically)as hec gets older. I know MANY families who held their boys back and a few that didn't...the one's that didn't all regret it and I have seen their boys struggle to fit in!

Good Luck!!

N.

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Hi E.-

I just attended kindergarden orientation and they spent a full 20 minutes talking about "4 Year Old Boy" syndrome, which is when a boy enters K at 4-almost-5 and is academically entirely capable but emotionally and socially way behind the girls and 5-almost-6 boys, and ends up not being successful but then is promoted anyway because he has mastered the academic part of it. Then in 4th grade and 8th grade has real problems and the teachers say "Yeah, he was a 4 year old boy." They can't drive when their high school peers can drive, and then, do you want your son going off to college when he is 17, and think of the social implications for both of those scenarios. They strongly encouraged us to give younger boys "the gift of another year" and wait until they are 5-almost-6 to put them in K. They said obviously it is an individual choice for each family, but they seemed to feel very strongly that parents are not doing their boys any favors by puhing them into K earlier than later. And they said in their experience, the boys who are almost 6 when they enter K do not end up being a behavior problem because they are bored and not challenged, they end up being class leaders and very confident which goes with them the rest of their yeas in school. Hope that helps with your decision!

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It depends on the child, but overall I think it's better to let a child be the oldest rather than the youngest in a class. This seems to be especially true with boys. As they get older, they can be overwhelmed by maturity issues even when they are up to the task academically.

It is harder in your case because your son's birthday is so close to the cut-off date. One of my sons was born on Dec. 22, so he is one of the older kids in his class. Another was born on Sept. 2 and he was one of the youngest kids. He did very well academically, but did have some problems socially, especially in middle school. He's in college now, but he took a year off from high school in spite of my pushing, and I wonder if maybe he needed that year.

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let him be the oldest. My son was the youngest in his kindergarten class and struggled. He is now in first grade and is still a little behind. Boys for the most part are more immature than girls. Good luck.

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Two things came to mind as I was reading your post. First, even though your son is very bright and enjoys to learn, it is not necessarily a sign that he needs to be moved ahead of his classmates. There is a lot of social development that takes place during the early years, and while he may even be ahead of his classmates socially at present, he is very likely to be behind the older class. While there is nothing wrong with this, he may not get as much patience from teachers and classmates if he is put into an older class where expectations will be higher than if he were to remain in the younger class. Personally, I think it gives your child a great opportunity to be a leader in good classroom behavior. The second thing I noticed is that you are planning on moving to a place with an even later cut off. This means that as long as your son remains in his current class, when he is in the new school, he will be around more people closer to his age. This may be more comfortable for him, especially while adjusting to a new place.

Having said all this, in your shoes, I would carefully weigh your own impression of your sons abilities and readiness with the advice of the preschool director. I wouldn't so much worry about your mother-in-law, but definitely make sure you are on the same page as your husband. Listen to his concerns and make a decision together about this. You might also consider talking to your son and see how he feels about it. Either way you go, your son will do well wherever he is with the love and support of his parents.

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I held my daughter back w/August birthday. I talked to lots of moms about it. I NEVER talked to one mom who held their child back who regreted it. I did however talk to some that did not and they did have regrets. Eventually his classmates will catch up to him and if he is the youngest it could be a reversal of his being ahead later.

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I wouldn;t rush it. I started kindregarten at 4 myself and hated beingtheyoungest of the class. The cut off date back then was sept 1st and my bday is sept 6th. My daughter is in hte same boat oas your son, she had a cut off date of aug 1 and her bday was nov1. She has always been smart and bored at times. She is the oldest in her class, but it doesn' make much difference. Being older is much better than younger.

Then from a educator point of view, I have a masters in interdisciplinary early childhood educ. I would recommend to keep him with his age if possible. The daycare should already have him in a 3 yp room if he is 3, if needed keep him in it for 2 years...but most daycares have a 4 yr old room as well as most kindergartens don't go until they are 5.

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E. - I couldn't take time to read your responses - but as an educator since 1970 - don't move it forward early!!

If you need documentation - read anything from Dr. Raymond Moore: School Can Wait; Better Late Than Early... He has thousands of test to prove we push little boys too early.

He could very well struggle around age 11-13 if you do this now...

J. B.
www.joyboudreau.com

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Hi E.,
That's a tough one... I have two daughters, who both have September birthdays, only a few days into September. The cutoff date was 9/1 in Georgia. Frustrating, huh? My oldest daughter was, like your son, more advanced academically than a lot of the children, so I felt that she might not be getting enough stimulation when she was in the 3 year old preschool class, and she was 4 years old for most of the year. Luckily, she had amazing teachers at the preschool she attended, and they ensured that she was never bored. She is now 9 years old, and I am glad that I didn't push her ahead. Turns out that there are a lot more children closer to her age than I could have imagined. There are also a few children who are even older than she is in her grade (third grade), because of two reasons:

Although the child made the cutoff date, the parents didn't want them to be the youngest children in the class and possibly more emotionally immature than some of the other kids, had they been placed in the older grade - so they kept them with the younger students.

The other reason is because the parents did go ahead and put them in the older grade, and later on, realized that for whatever reason, the child, on some level, wasn't quite as mature as the others, be it emotionally or scholastically. So they had their child repeat a grade.

Now, I understand your situation, because your child is so bright, you feel that you don't have to worry about him ever feeling "behind" on any level. I understand exactly how you feel.

First, let me just tell you, that these days, schools DO NOT ever want to put a child in the grade ahead, if they don't quite make the cutoff date. I have never heard of it happening, but I'm sure it has. They seem to strongly discourage it.

I'm guessing that the reason is because things have a way of balancing out in the end. While your child will mostly likely always be extremely bright, these days school is more intense than it was when we went to elementary/junior/high school. You don't notice it so much in preschool, but by the time they get on up into the elementary grades, you realize that these kids are learning a lot more than we ever did at that age. Many public schools also "teach to the test" to ensure that their schools get good ratings.

Both of my daughters are doing well in the grade behind the grade I would have originally liked for them to be in when they were in preschool.

We moved a while back to a state where the cutoff date is September 30. So technically, they could both be in the higher grade at this point. I'm sure that if I got them tested, I could have them placed in the higher grade if I wanted to - I don't know because I have decided to homeschool them this past year. As a homeschooling family, we have a lot of freedom as to what their curriculum is, and again, I could easily bump up both of them into the next grade and they would do fine.

I choose not to, because, for one, I'm kind of selfish, and want to keep them with me one year longer :) But the real reason, I guess, is because I want to make sure that they are truly getting everything out of their grade that they need to. They both seem to be right in the middle of the age range of the children that attend co-op with them.

What you might want to do, if you still would prefer your son to be in a grade ahead, is wait until you move, then have him tested and admitted in the higher grade. Will he be in Kindergarten when you move? Or will you still be where you are now when you would want him to be entering Kindergarten?

If you could homeschool him for one year for Kindergarten, then he would enter first grade, instead of Kindergarten, when you move. If you are working, this might not be possible, but maybe you could do it during your non-working hours. A lot of work, I know, but I know several full-time working parents who also homeschool. Just a thought...

Good luck with everything. Your son is going to thrive no matter where he is, if he is so bright. The teachers are going to love him! :)

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I am in the same boat as well. The cut off is August 31 and my sons birthday is Sept 15. He is pretty smart as well and I think he could handle Kindergarten.

I spoke to one of my neighbors about this very topic and she gave me some insight to the future. She has a son who is the youngest in his class b/c they moved from a different state with a later cutoff date. Her son is now older and she kinda wishes she kept him out of school that extra year for several reasons. The boy is in high school now and from a physical standpoint he is always the smallest and is less physically mature then his teammates. This has taken a hit to his ego... You know how hard high school is to begin with, and then you add those crazy feelings.
She said that he has always struggled a little with keeping up with the homework. His ability to focus would have been probably been better if she had waited.

I know there were more reasons, but I can not remember them all. I just remember her making a really good argument for it and I was immediately convinced. I guess it was thinking about the future (far future) that I had never thought of and probably never would have without her help. Driving, getting a job, sports and ability levels, physical maturity, emotional maturity, etc. Food for thought...

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I am in the same boat as you. My sons birthday is Sept 28th and the cut-off is Sept 1st. So he is going to be in a 2 yr old class instead of the 3 yr old class. As a parent I can see why you would want him moved up...as a teacher (taught 8 yrs) I would say leave him where he is. Boys seem to take a little longer to asjust when they start school, also, they tend to be about a yr behind in the first few years. This is not with every boy, but tends to be pretty consistent. The great thing about it is, let him start there. He won't get behind. If after a yr or so you think he should be moved up then there is a test they can give to see if he is ready to skip a grade and be with classmates his own age. BUT, I wouldn't let age determine where is goes. I have noticed that boys who were "forced" so to speak to be put in another grade due to age were usually a little behind the other kids...it starts out in the social department and then moves into the academic area of school. Let the school put him where they think he should be and then monitor him and ask the teachers questions through out the yr. At the end of the yr have a conferance with the teachers/principal/parents and see how he did and if he can skip the next yr or continue to move along the path he started. Remember, age does not determine placement...in the beginning. I had a 12 yr old 3rd grader...they skipped him to 5th grade the following yr b/c he was too "mature" in some areas to stay with the 10 yr olds. Hope this helps. Don't feel like you are failing him b/c he is going to be in a class with younger students. Just keep an eye on him and ask the teachers questions at the end of each term. Remember, they see him interacting everyday with other students, something you don't get to see. They might see something you don't.

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I am an elementary teacher and I am wondering about the school district and if they offer children to enter kindergarten early. You might want to check with the district to see if they have an assessment that they can administer to see if he is ready for kindergarten, even though he is just shy a few days. Some districts are know to accept early entry students.

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I have 2 kids and I have been where you are now. I would be happy to share my experiences with anyone, but it would take a book! Bottom line is this: you know your kid better than anyone else. Education is obviously important to you as well as making sure your child gets the education he needs and is not just "babysat". If they will not help you out, then you pull him out and place him in one that will. You are paying them to teach your child. They need to listen to you. You have rights to IEPs and 504 plans when your child gets to Kindergarten, but daycares and preschools don't usually do that.

If this school refuses to allow him to advance, pull him and put him in a different school, find him a private facility, or another SAHM who watches other kids and can work with your child if you are working and need child care. My sister watches kids at her home and is all about providing an educational setting, not just a babysitting setting. Montessori schools are also great. There is no rule that says kids have to attend preschool.

Furthermore, when dealing with preschool aged children, they need to teach on level and not worry about age teaching. If this program is not doing that, then that is also another reason to pull him out.

If I could encourage you, I would say this. You know your child better than anyone else. I questioned whether I should hold my son back or if I should let him start when he was age ready. He has ADD/ADHD. Had I held him back, it would have been worse. I think too many times teachers don't want to deal with younger kids so they play the maturity card. If your child is capable of understand and doing the work, he needs to go. Why hold him back? Just so he can make all A's? Why hinder his learning? It will only hurt him in the long run, not help him. Kids will learn as much as we ask them to learn. Set the bar high and they will reach it. Set it low and they will still reach it and not go over it.

So, from my experiences with 2 bright kids, I learned that if I held my son back the way other parents do "just because he is a boy and they mature at a different rate than girls", I would have had the issue of having him skip a grade later on. Push. Fight it. Don't settle for anything less than a high bar. Don't take NO for an answer.

The BEST and PROVEN method of educating kids is one that allows them to learn on their level and not be held back by "age level" teaching. This teaching for the mainstream is a bunch of junk. We have lost teaching the individual and this is why homeschooling has taken off. Homeschooled kids and kids who are taught on "academic readiness" instead of "age-level readiness" perform much better. They score higher on the standard tests, and do better in college.

Our goal as parents is to get them ready for that any way. It just happens in small steps. It is awesome that you see this and want help. I really hope you continue to fight for your son and not let this place push you into what they think is best. He is getting his foundation set now. Make sure it is a strong one. Do whatever it takes and don't take NO for an answer.

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I'm not sure why he would be in the two-year-old class when he is 3 1/2. If the daycare is that inflexible and obnoxious that you would have to make a big stink about it, unless there was a valid reason (such as that he wasn't toilet trained, or wasn't socially or academically ready), then I'd be looking for another daycare. You are paying them all kinds of money, I assume; why shouldn't they cater to what you think is best? Tell them that you intend to put him in a four-year old class, whether with them or somewhere else. They'll either make accomodations, or you'll find another situation. With the economy the way it is, and people losing jobs, daycares have spaces opening up right and left, so you have more options, and they should be working better to "serve the customer", so to speak, not just be hard nosed with their rules.

Also, we got our son into kindergarten the year he turned five, even though his birthday was Sept 9, and he was premature. He was more than ready, and was the best behaved kid in the class, according to his teacher. It was a half day kindergarten. Now he is flourishing in first grade as well. We had plenty of naysayers (with their unsolicited opinions) who tried to say that "boys aren't ready" and "they should be closer to six when they start K". We knew that he was ready; he was bored stiff at home (I stay at home with our children); and sure enough, we were right. Every child is different, and some truly aren't ready as young as others; as the parent, you should be able to make that decision. Kindergarten readiness is more about his behavior, self control and self discipline than academics, by the way. K starts off catering to the lowest common denominator; they spent the first couple of weeks on shapes and colors, which was kind of shocking since he knew those since he was two. But by the end of the year they were right where they were supposed to be, and he was ready for first grade - even missed the first week of first grade at a new school, as we moved across the country. Even so, he is at the top of his class academically and behaviorally. Children are individuals, not just "boys" or whatever; I hate generalizations.

I'm curious why your husband would be against moving him up to the four-year-old class. Is he just trying to keep his mother happy? My mom is a retired elementary teacher, and nagged me about "boys" and all that and seemed to think I should wait to put him in school, but like I said, I knew he was ready, and she later admitted that I was right when he did so well in K. My husband and I were both August babies, and were both always at the top of our classes going through school, and also well behaved, so I expected as much from my son. I didn't care one bit about getting my license a few months later than my peers. Is that what matters in life? I would have been devastated if I had been a year behind in school; I often thought about that growing up (what if???) Of my circle of friends, of which I was the youngest, I was also the only one who left home to start college right out of high school. Two of my 'older, mature' friends are still living with their parents. But again, every child is different and you still have time to observe your son and make a decision at least about K. I would also be expecting more mature behavior at home, such as doing simple chores every day (making bed, putting laundry away, setting the table, putting his own dishes in the dishwasher, sweeping up his messes with a little whisk broom and dust pan, etc.) It's amazing what chores will do for responsibility, maturity, and self discipline. My 3 1/2 year old is able to do all those things (though he doesn't always want to), and it gives them a sense of belonging in the household to boot.

Trust your judgment!

First of all, I think every child is different and you and his teachers will ultimately need to be the judge as to what you decide, but I'll share my story since we just went through this too. My son started kindergarten this year. He's in a private school and their cutoff date is June 1. He turned 6 on April 1 and we still decided to have him repeat kindergarten next year. Academically, he has done well on his report cards and has kept up with all of the work. His teacher's main concern was his maturity, not just social, but more about his work habits. Which I totally agreed with. She had to move him to the front of the room facing her so he would pay attention for longer periods of time. He likes to learn and do all of the work, but he gets distracted and doesn't want to focus the whole time. I had the same problem helping him with his homework (which isn't much for kindergarten), but he would want to stop in the middle to tell me something or see what else was going on. Now that we're near the end of the year, he is much better at focusing and flies through his homework and reading. However, there is much more work in first grade that they are really graded on and homework every night. We felt it would be better in the long run to have our son keep the pace he's at right now so he gets more comfortable with it so that he's not overwhelmed in first grade. A few months ago, before he got the hang of doing all the work, he mentioned to us that he wished there wasn't so much work to do all day long. I asked how he'd feel about staying in kindergarten instead of moving up and he was all for it...didn't really believe that is was possible. We haven't told him yet that he is staying behind, but I don't think he'll have a problem with it all. Plus, there are several other boys in his grade that are turning 7 now and he's always had a problem being the youngest.

E., I think you made the right decision. For what it is worth, my mother was a kindergarten teacher for 24 years in a school district where the cut off date was Nov. 30th. She told me that the students who struggled the most and were the most immature were the boys born in Sept, Oct, & Nov. My son's birthday is Sept 20th so the same concerns that you have have crossed my mind but my mother told me to view it as the gift of an extra year and it can only help my son.

what is the directors reason for not moving him up? we all think our kids are bright. they may just be seeing something you dont.ive worked in child care and every parent thinks their child is the smartest best ect ect. well its not always true. if everyone but you says hold him back he may not be ready socially. just think about it. ps this wasnt meant to be mean