Kindergarten Behavior - Huntington Beach,CA

You should go for the entire class time and observe. Do not interfere, just observe. Also, he should be taught not to retaliate when someone does something wrong to him. This is not ok tolerated at school. He should use the right words to tell them to stop. If they don't, he goes to the teacher. I would also observe more than once.

I am a Kindergarten teacher. The skills that your child needs to learn are very different and much more difficult then when you went to Kindergarten. Before leaving this grade they must know 100 sight words, read, count to 100, skip count, addition/subtraction, know terminology like syllables, vertices, and rhyming, they must complete a technology project, and the list goes on. Inappropriate behavior can not be tolerated at school. Many parents (and people who posted here) believe that boys are boys and it's okay to wrestle, hit, push, etc., but they cannot do that at school. They need to be taught where that behavior is okay. Children are capable of following directions. Most classrooms will have one or two (hopefully not more) children who haven't been given boundaries or discipline at home (or they could have some type of medical problem). I read one parent's comment that as a bystander, she thought the teacher could have treated things differently. EVERYONE thinks they can do a better job, but you don't have the whole picture. Maybe another parent, principal, teacher, etc. has already complained about that particular child, the child could have medical issues, or the child's parent may not support the teacher. Please do not judge the teacher on how they deal with another child. I am a strict teacher and my expectations are high. I am working hard at extinction (stopping bad, inappropriate behavior). My primary goal is to educate your child, not babysit. I use grade level appropriate skills and we move a lot. I am constantly adjusting my curriculum as I see it's needed. This time of the year is critical in setting the foundation for your classroom. Our classroom rules are set. If you break them then you receive consequences. Most children will break them at some point. All I expect from my parents is to support me. An occasional bad day does not warrant privileges taken away or a punitive reaction from home, but I do expect my parents to talk to their child, find out what happened and remind them of appropriate behavior. This usually does the trick and I know the households that follow through. I'm also working real hard at making sure they know why they are in trouble. I don't want them to say, "...because I was bad." I want them to tell their parents the specific behavior, "...because I threw the connecting cubes." You mentioned that he is sassy and has a smart mouth. Well this teacher doesn't appreciate that behavior and sounds like she won't tolerate it. It takes a lot to stand up to a parent and it isn't something we enjoy. If your 5 yr. old child has been to the principal 2X in 1 month, then your child's teacher has already tried numerous strategies in the classroom, plus you should have been notified all along. I would suggest to stop the denial and expect more from your child. Kindergarten is the foundation for his learning and he needs to have a positive experience. It is a hard grade to teach (with different maturity levels), so support his teacher...this is a difficult job ...without behavior problems.

I am getting on my soap box. the traditional school setting is not created for boys - period. They are active, touching, rough and tumble (so are many girls at this age!).
that said, I have and do work to respect and follow the "rules of the road" but maybe, just maybe, this teacher is overreacting a bit to "typical" behavior.
If it was (and might I ad - when it was my child getting in trouble) I sat down with him, me and the teacher and reviewed everything. He saw that his dad, me and the teacher all knew the rules and that we know he knows the rules, too. After that - poof - the touching, jostling and overall "boyness" was shifted just to playgroud time and not in-class time.
In terms of child phsychologist - if it were my kiddo, i'd do it. it is a win-win from my perspective win #1 - the psychologist says, your child does not need to be here win #2 - Child psychologist says, your child does need to be here - so glad you caught whatever, early on and can still make progress in change of behavior!
Hang in there !!

Having a similar problem here. My daughter loves everyone but sometimes can't keep her hands to herself and sometimes doesn't want to participat in activities (gym). She takes time to warm up. She has had a note come home, the after school program director has spoken to me and the gym teacher has complained. So we started a reward program for her (one for school and one for home). She has also been to full day preschool for two years so the adjustment shouldn't be that bad.

I don't think that your son is ready for the school psychologist yet - however, can it hurt? Perhaps a few sessions with this educated professional might do the trick. Perhpas s/he can explain why not to hit others and what the approprite actions to take are. It's up to you. Keep us posted.

My daughter's kindergarten class has 6 girls and 13 boys, full day. The teacher even said this is one of the most energetic class she has ever had, she has been teaching for almost 20 years so that is saying a lot. She gives them 3 recesses/gym times, a lot of reminders on how to act and treat others (obviously if

My best advice is keep talking to your son, help him figure out a better way to deal with what is going on. You call him sassy and a smart mouth, well that can lead to agression if he is egged on and is not strong enough to ignore what the other kids are saying/doing. I am sassy and when I was a kid I got myself in A LOT of trouble because of it, of course I was a girl so usually the boys were sent to the principal while I got a stern 'don't do that' talk. Say someone calls him a name, he gets sassy about it but the other kid does not stop, your son is thinking how do I get even with this kid or make this kid stop, get pyhiscal. Make your son strong in telling him it ignore those kids, do not respond if the other kid does something or says something he does not like, walk away if possible, if your son gets hit or bad names thrown at him tell him to tell the teacher and do not take matters into his own hands.

Taking away things for this bad school behavior is not going to help, it will just make him angery and mad at the world. My guess is a lot of the times the other kids start it, your son is responding just teach him the correct way to respond (ignore the other kids, walk away if possible, if hurt tell teacher). If your son is starting it teach him how to behave at school (no touching others, no name calling, no bad words, listen to the teacher, obey the school rules). On the days he does not get in trouble be proud of him, tell him your are proud of him, give him a big hug and tell him how happy you are that he did not get in trouble that day.

Seeing the school psychologist does seem a bit extreme at this point. I think that sitting down with the teacher and creating a game plan first is a better way to handle the situation. What does the teacher see (you son starting it or you son just responding to something), ask her how she/he would like your son handle diffcult situations (usually it is come talk to teacher), let the teacher know you are also re-enforcing the school rules at home by implementing some into your home rotuine and reminding son what the school rules are and how he should handle the different situations. Also maybe ask if you can be a mom helper in the room if the teacher feels that the class is too much to handle (ever year the type of personalities change, some times everyone gets along while other times crazy conflicting personalities makes the class hard to handle).

The kids are try to figure out at this NEW age and NEW classroom how to co-exist with each other. It is a tough age and preschool and kindergarten teachers really are angels if they can handle of of the ever changing emotions. To me if there are more then 18 kids a helper is really needed at this age, so offer to help if you can.

There is a boy in my daughter's class that really is a high energy kid type. We had 'fun friday' day this morning, tons of messing painting, snacks, shaving cream and so on things for 2 hours (there was a teacher and 4 mom helpers). Well this one boy was not behaving (more like wanting to do his own thing, not waiting his turn and pushed another kid so he could go first) so the teacher had him sit/play by himself in an area in the classroom as to not create chaos for everyone else. After about 15 mins he felt bad he was missing everything but the teacher said the only thing he could do now is play with the playdoh (my table) and I could tell that you had to talk to him & get his attention differently. He was at my table for 1 hour while the other kids got to come and move on about every 15-20 mins. He missed every station but mine, he was sad about that, I asked him if he knew why and he explained what he did. From there I said you know what there will be another 'fun friday' day so you will get another chance to do things if you follow the instructions. He smiled and then I spent time with him on making a playdoh lizard, which turned into every kid wanting to do that so I was busy.... but because I took 15 mins to focus on just him and talk through the situation with him he realized how to handle himself better at least for that day. So with that I think teachers really need to focus on what a child needs to learn BUT I also think that the parent has to do a lot of work at home to re-enforce and help your child handle the situations better. A teacher can not always be dealing with just one kid all the time, there is a whole class to teach/look after, yes they should remind but after 2 times in a day I think the teacher has ever right to put that kid in a "time out" or send to the principles office.

My older son had a similar problem in 1st grade. There was a boy in class who would wait for the teacher to turn away, then he would do something to provoke my son. Then of course the teacher would turn around just when my son was reacting, so he was the one who always got into trouble. It was weeks before a third-party observer in the classroom noticed the pattern and pointed it out to the teacher.

There are so many reasons these issues can arise. I would do some observation in the class. Go during recess and see how the other children behave. While the school may have a no-tolerance policy, they may also not have enough people watching the kids on the playground. My son's K has 3 classes with a total of 78 children. They have TWO supervisors on the playground! TWO! I have seen kids bully kids and the supervisors totally miss it. Thankfully my son is the tallest kid in all of Kindergarten and no kids mess with him. He's kind, but I think they understand that bigger is not better.

If you know your son is not normally aggressive, something is probably provoking him. I don't think the school psychologist is the answer. I think observing and seeing what really is going on would help you figure out that there might be kids in the class who aren't so nice.

I would brainstorm with him about what he can do next time these things happen and then practice/role play with him. It's perfectly normal for him to push someone who kicks him - he is 5. A zero tolerance policy and school psychologist seem a bit much for something a kindergarten teacher ought to be able to handle with a quick 'we use our words' statement.

Taking things away from him hours later will just make him more miserable. And he probably has already figured out things are not going as well as they should. He needs your help, not your punishment.

Mine turned 5 in April and started kinder in August. Got phone calls home from teacher this week - seems mine is constantly touching other kids. Not inappropriately - just can't seem to keep his hands / feet to himself. He is warned constantly and has done a lot of time out. Mine also has been in preschool / daycare / aftercare. His aftercare is at his old preschool where his baby brother attends. I've taken away toys and TV - he is still getting in trouble. I'm not sure what else to take away at this point. Let me know where you head.

maybe talking with the school psychologist will give him some good tools for coping with the transition to kinder and making good choices when faced with conflicts.

try not to look at it as a punishment but an opportunity to make his school experience better!

I suggest you either see a schol psychologist so you can prove to the school you are trying everything or see if your insurance plan covers your own psychologist or even a Marriage Family Therapist. The reason why I am on the school side is my son who is 5 years old turned in June isn't doing so great in his classroom because of his defiance and zero respect. He has ADHD and we have been seeing a behavioral therapist for 6 months now, as a family we have modified allot of our own ways which has helped but I think it's also due to some of his ADHD, a new school and new setting, new routines, new friends, new teachers, new standards. All I can say is use postive disapline and also follow through and get some help, he might be overwhelmed with it all and he might be also going through depression, anxiety or low self esteem and trouble adjusting unlike his peers. I would take baby steps and not make everything so negative at home, focus on the postive and also get help with what's going on at school. Perhaps you can ask for an observation day so you can get a understanding of the routine and how the teacher teachers so you can explain to your son better how to adjust.