E.B. asks from New Albany, IN on June 29, 2009
Kindergarten at 5 or Wait Until 6? - New Albany,IN
My daughter turned 5 in June and up until now I had been 100% sure we would put her in Kindergarten this year. I have worked full time up until this past October and she has been in full day preschool. She is more than ready intellectually, a great listener, and gets along well with others. Her most recent preschool teacher agreed that she would be just fine in Kindergarten this fall. However, a lot of people recently have encouraged me to wait and now I would just like some opionions from others. She DOES still take a nap/rest for about an hour to an hour and a half each afternoon. This will go away when she gets to kindergarten. I have tried cutting it out at home, which results in her being a holy terror from about 4:00 p.m. until bed time. I know she would eventually make the transition, but I dread the only part of the day I get to see her will be a bunch of punishments and time outs because she didn't get a nap. Additionally, I have worked for the past 3 years and would love another year at home with her. Any advice is appreciated.
***Thanks already for the great responses. I wanted to add a few things. First, there will NOT be a nap or rest period at school. I spoke to the teachers at early enrollment in June and they said no naps or downtime. They said some of the children even end up falling asleep at their desks. Second, if any of you have made the decision to go ahead and send your child OR if any of you have made the decision to wait, could I hear from you???? I appreciate other's opinions, but would love some first hand knowledge. Thanks!!
So What Happened?™
Ahhhhhhhh! Wow were there strong opinions about this question!! LOL. I sincerely thank you all for weighing in. At this time we still haven't made a decision, but have a lot to think about. I do certainly, and 100% agree that putting her to bed earlier would eliminate the need for a nap. My one and only problem with this schedule change right now is that my husband generally does not get home from work until 7:00 or 7:30 which means that my daughter would not see her dad at all during the week. We just moved here in March, and prior to that the kids and I lived apart from my husband for 8 months while we sold the house since he had to go ahead and start his job. They both still cry almost every day when he leaves for work and ask me when he's coming back. :) So...for that reason we are both leaning towards keeping her home for this year just to give us all more family time and time to get used to being a family again. :) She would be perfectly happy this year in K, but she'll be perfectly happy next year too, and once she starts school we won't have the opportunity to be together as much as a family, and that is as important to us as anything else. Thanks again for all of your opinions. They DID help so much!!
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L.M. answers from Nashville on June 29, 2009
I would send her, she will adjust. My daughter's birthday is in June too and I sent her to Kindergarden at 5. A few days a week she would have a small rest period after school, but she was not the terror I was expected. The routine ended up being: right after school she ate (they had lunch at 10:30/11 so she was starved by the time she got home), we reviewed classwork/homework then played,had dinner, baths, bedtime routine, etc. She was in bed by 7:30/8:00. I think it will be a terrific transition for the two of you.
Good luck
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J.A. answers from Goldsboro on June 30, 2009
Hey E., where I live it depends on when their birthday is. My youngest daughter will be 4 this Sept. She won't be able to start school until she is 6, that's preschool now. She will be 7 going into Kindergarten because her birthday is Sept.27. If she was born before Aug. 25, she would start when she was 5 and not 6. I hope this helps some. When I was in school the cut off date to start school was Oct. 16. Now that school starts earlier, the cut off date is Aug. 25. School's have changed so much since I was in school.
L.B. answers from Knoxville on June 30, 2009
Keep her home. As a former teacher I have never seen that not be in favor of the child especially if she gets another year of irreplaceable time with you. My daughter is a late september birthday and I waited to send her. That extra year has greatly benefitted her. Also, I don't likr the idea of college at 17 either.
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M.W. answers from Raleigh on June 30, 2009
Oh Gosh, I was in your shoes not long ago.
This is VERY personal, so whichever decision you make, know that you did it with love and only love.
I have three children. All very different.
My oldest is a Sept child and I opted to wait. He would have been 41/2+ when beginning school (year round begins in summer). So I held him and started him when he was 51/2+ turning 6 in September!
This proved to be THE BEST year EVER!. He was so prepared. He yearned to learn more! He was confident and social, more than he was at 41/2.
He just completed his Kindergarten year at 61/2 and is excited to begin first grade in a short bit. I do believe that given all that you say your school will offer, it would be a GIFT for your daughter to have one extra year to GROW socially & emotionally. Of course our children are bright and the material offered can be made more challenging. Our decision wasn't so much based on the "now" but more when he is in Jr and Sr High School and can make good choices because he can reason what's good and what's not, with his maturity level. (currently; he's also not a big kid, he hasn't lost a tooth, you get the picture?)
On the other-hand, I have my third child just turning 4 on Friday, who I believe will be one that will begin as soon as he's five, because he's already in preschool 5 mornings and very "on his game" having two older sibs to learn from.
There is just a huge difference in personalities and preparation for school.
On any decision, I would like to err on the side of caution. I have yet to hear anyone regret holding their child back and too many that only wished that they had done so.
Whatever your choice, she'll adapt and flourish because she has you as an involved, loving, and insightful mom.
=D Best Wishes!!!!
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C.C. answers from Knoxville on June 30, 2009
In my humble opinion, it would be wonderful to keep your daughter at home one more year. Delaying her formal schooling will only put her at an advantage, and being at home with you for another year will be great for your relationship and for her developement. As I said, just my opinion. I just believe that our kids grow so fast, we should savour the time we have with them while we can.
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A.H. answers from Nashville on June 30, 2009
Hi E.! I am sure you are getting plenty of responses, but just wanted to throw my advice in there! I am a former 1st grade teacher, and also have a child with a summer birthday. My advice would be to WAIT! I hear parents all the time saying that they sent their child to school too early, and that they should have waited...you NEVER hear anyone say that they wish they had sent them earlier. Also, the way I look at it - I would rather have my child be the OLDEST in her class than the youngest. Think about later in her life, not now - if you send her now, she would be the last in her class to drive, the youngest when she went off to college, etc. I would much rather my child be the oldest. These are important factors, especially with your child being a girl.(Also, I am a June birthday, so I speak from experience!) And if you are just now not working 5 days a week, that would be precious one on one time with her. Enjoy your last year with her - you will never get that time back! Good luck!
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A.C. answers from Charlotte on June 29, 2009
My opinion is that she needs to go to Kindergarten. In my school district they give kindergarteners about a 30 minute nap everyday for the first 3 quarters. The last quarter they cut it out. She will have to get used to getting up early and going to be earlier as a result of not having that nap. I think everyone would agree that this "naptime" is not a reason to hold her back another year. Is she excited about going to Kindergarten? What does your husband say about it? If you are doing this for your own selfish reasons then that's not going to benefit her. Seems to me if she is mature enough and intellectual enough to go then she should go. I think this is anxiety on your part more than this is about her not getting a nap. Take it from experience, the first day she starts school and you walk her into her class you will cry, you may bawl, you will be proud but sad all at the same time, you will want to stay, you will be nervous and worried all day, the day will drag by, and when you pick her up she will be happy. All of those anxieties because your little girl is growing up. What an emotional milestone in life. My advice is to start a bedtime routine where she goes to bed around 7:30 - 8:00 at night then get her up early around 7-7:30 in the morning. Keep her busy. Only let her take a 30 minute nap and wake her up. You have 2 months to work this schedule out. Don't look at this from an already defeated and won't work standpoint and that she's not old enough. There will be children there that aren't even 5 years old doing what you want her to wait til she's 6 years old to do. Now that's my advice but this is a personal preference situation. Everyone will have their opinion. You have to do what's best for her.
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L.M. answers from Nashville on June 29, 2009
I would send her, she will adjust. My daughter's birthday is in June too and I sent her to Kindergarden at 5. A few days a week she would have a small rest period after school, but she was not the terror I was expected. The routine ended up being: right after school she ate (they had lunch at 10:30/11 so she was starved by the time she got home), we reviewed classwork/homework then played,had dinner, baths, bedtime routine, etc. She was in bed by 7:30/8:00. I think it will be a terrific transition for the two of you.
Good luck
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B.M. answers from Charlotte on June 29, 2009
Hello, E.,
Let me start by saying that this is of course just my opinion ok?
If I were given the chance to do it all again, I would opt for letting my son wait. Yes she appears ready for kindergarten academically but emotionally? She clearly still needs her naps. She has been fostered by her mom and dad up until this point (as she should have been)and while she may fare perfectly well in Kindergarten, the emotional gap will start to show at about the 3rd grade. That being said, I see no harm in opting for the chance to add one more year of emotional security into your daughter, she will be better able to handle the stresses and expectations of her while in the school system down the line a bit.
For me, hindsight is 20/20. I hope it's different for you and yours.
Good Luck!
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J.T. answers from Louisville on June 29, 2009
Oh, E., I do understand wanting to wait and enjoy her for another year. My son has been home with me for the past 6 months and it's been my first time working from home and enjoying any of my children...however, you need to think about her and her future. If you delay a year, children in the future will be mean because she is a year older and not in an earlier class. You should really consider that. Also, don't they still take naps in Kindergarten??? All of my girls did and my son will this year when he begins. I think 1st grade is when they phase that out. Please consider the benefits it will give to her. As parents we have to let them go sometime...I say that as I sit crying at the thought my oldest is going into 8th, the next into 5th and my baby into Kindergarten! Break out the wine to either celebrate or grieve!!!! Good luck!
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W.M. answers from Nashville on June 30, 2009
Hi there! I too have a child with a June bday. Our son went on to kindergarten b/c his preschool teacher's also told us that he was ready. He is very smart and very social. We sent him on and he did fine. He was not top of the class but was not the bottom either. We were on a waiting list for another school that will not allow children to start K until they are 6. We got the call that he is in so after much thought we have decided to repeat him. Our reasoning is not just the school change. We have spoken to many, many teachers, princ, directors, etc who have said that it is amazing the difference between children who start school at 5 and the children who start school at 6. Our son's Kindergarten teacher even actually said that she started her son at 5 and he did well. She said he did well all the way until high school when his immaturity really started to show. By college, she felt he needed another year of growing and maturing before he attended college but she could not hold him out of college or he may not go. I started K when I was 5 and once I got to middle school and high school I found that I always got along better with the grade below me. I also was frustrated that my grade friends started everything before me...shaving legs, monthly cycle, kissing, driver's license, etc My parents went by my age, not my grade, when allowing me to do certain things...like shave my legs. So I was again behind everyone. I think that my son is ready to go onto 1st grade BUT I think he would be an average student if we did that. I think that an extra year of school can only help with maturity and focusing skills. He will be more attentive, he will be more apt to pay attn, he will get an extra year of learning how to read, write, etc He will also start college at 19 instead of 18. he will have a better self esteem b/c he is top of the class and top of the age with others. He will get his license the same time as everyone else, etc This school does not allow the children until 6 b/c they feel they are more mature and more ready for school. It is over 100 yrs old and has been a very important educator in our town. I think they might have something! :o)
As far as you spending a year home with her.....absolutely!!! I am a stay at home mom and I kept my son home from preschool until 3 just so I could be alone with him. Now, our daughter is 2 1/2 yrs younger than him so I get time alone with her while he is in school. I completely do not think you will regret holding her back. June is a summer bday and the teachers even have a name for those kids...when they see them they call them "summer bdays"...nothing bad, they just say that you can tell a difference in the 6 mos that they have a chance to catch up.
Whatever choice you make will be fine but what couldn't be good about waiting a year to start school?? Once you start, that is it....then work! I hated for my son to start K b/c I knew from then on, 5 days a week he would be gone 7 hours a day. No more sleeping in, no more days with mommy. Just a thought.
W.
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