Kindergarten Age

My daughter will miss it by 24 days - same boat! The decision was easier for me because I was a "young" kid - always the youngest in my class as I'd made the cut off by less than 20 days. I did great academically! Socially, it was harder and it really showed in HS when I just wasn't ready to deal with relationship issues - friends and boys that young - as a 13/14 yr old freshman. There are MANY ways to challenge your daughter intellectually, but none to speed up the natural development of her social and emotional growth. Having said that, each child is different and it's your call in the end.

1 mom found this helpful

More and more parents are choosing to hold their kids back and start them at age 6. So much more is expected of them than when we were in Kindergarten. She definitely won't be the oldest and will probably fall right in the middle for age in her class. My son is in kindergarten this year and I have volunteered in his class. Their are definitely some kids struggling to keep up and even more obvious is that some kids just can't sit still and have problems with self control. I don't know for sure if these kids are younger, but that would make sense. Self control usually gets better as they get older. My son missed our state's cutoff by 17 days, and while academically he was more than ready for kindergarten, socially he definitely benefited from another year of preschool. A have talked to a lot of parents about this issue, and none of them have ever regretted holding their child back, but many have regretted not holding them back. Also, think ahead to high school and the social pressures. An older, more mature child is generally able to make better decisions when it comes to all the trouble that teenagers get into. I also didn't want my child to be able to drive before all his peers. Ultimately, you know your daughter best and I'm sure you will make the right decision.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't think that you need to test her. how does she do in her preschool class? Do you think that she is ready for Kindergarten? Do you have an all day kindergarten class or 1/2 day? My son is an august birthday and I did not hold him back and he is doing great. He fits in with his peers, he does well on his sports teams (many of them are based on birthdate). He is shy so holding him back wouldn't have made a difference socially. One more thing to think about is this. My daughter, now 15, is one of the oldest in her group and will have her driver's license as a sophmore in high school instead of a junior or senior. I am still unsure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I know it is the age but mentally (in my mind), sophmores shouldn't have driver's licenses (: Whatever you decide, make sure that it is a decision that you can be comfortable with. Whether you wait or not, kids fit in and do find their group of friends. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

In Oklahoma children must be 5 years old to start Kindergarten. Their birthday must be before the first day of school.

Depending on your school system's regulations it isn't a choice. If they say she has to be 6 then she has to be 6, if 5 then 5. It's not early or late. The way it works for kids to start school at 5 and turn 6 is that it works out where they start their senior year at 17 and turn 18, then they start college at 18.

If she's old enough and you think she ready then send her. If you think it will benefit her to wait then wait.

One of the school systems in my area has very strict rules about kids having to be in school at the right age. If a parent holds their child back from starting Kindergarten they can be in legal trouble, they must show they are home schooling their children or they are considered to be truant, this school system is very small and struggles to keep their numbers up to stay open. So, you may have to get permission from the school to not send her at 5.

I do believe children of the same age should be in the same class. My grandson was held back in first grade and he is a head taller than his classmates, he likes different things,for example; his classmates are still playing with toy cars and trucks where he is more into sports and hanging out talking with his friends.

Kids have to be certain ages to play sports, for soccer they have to be 4 before they can sign up to play. For T-Ball they have to be 3 1/2. My point is that if she's a year older than her classmates she'll be eligible to play while they won't, and vice versa, if she's in with older kids they'll be playing and she won't be allowed. It just makes it hard to fit in when everyone else is a different age.

Hi S.! Well, it's one thing to send your child when she is actually eligible but still on the young side, but a completely different story when you're thinking about testing your child in so she can go early. I have one daughter who made the cut-off by one month, and another who missed it by one month. My older one is the absolute youngest in her class, sometimes by over a year. She is doing fine (in 3rd grade) but if I had it to do all over again I would hold her. My youngest is in kindergarten, and turned 6 at the beginning of November. She is very obviously a leader in her class. I have complete confidence that she will do fine. If you send your child to school at age 4, she will very likely be with several kids who turned 6 over the summer but whose parents chose to hold them. I personally would not want my 4, almost 5 year old, in class with a bunch of 6 year old boys. Of course, the decision is ultimately up to you (only YOU know your daughter) It's a tough decision, but in my opinion, you won't regret sending her when she is actually eligible. Good luck :)

As a teacher in my pre-kids life, I would recommend holding your daughter back. Even in first grade, even for the kids who were socially well-adjusted, I could point out to you within the first week of school who had birthdays in late spring or summer. They just have a little more difficulty catching on, feeling comfortable away from parents, etc.

Good luck making your decision!

Wait until she is six. Enjoy her five year old curiosity and playfulness. With a little more maturity, she will be at the head of her class instead of struggling to keep up. Developmental phychologists would recommend later starting age for school. Kids need more time for creative play. AF

My son turned 5 September 2 and started K the following week. Our cut-off is Sept 30. He was very advanced academically in pre-K and had no trouble concentrating and paying attention, but I wondered about his emotions, short stature, etc. According to his teacher, he is doing incredibly well academically, socially and emotionally. My intuition told me he was ready and I have no regrets. Had I waited another year, he would have been bored to tears in K and beyond, so sending him early keeps him a little challenged. There are wide-ranging opinions, but this is about the individual kid. One option is to find a daycare with a junior K and allow her to test into first grade next year.

I think it depends on your child. my daughter missed the deadline by a month, so she was almost 6 at the time she started kindergarten. I was really mad when the age deadlines changed, but I think it was a blessing. she was academically there, but not really confident when she was turning 5 and was much more confident turning 6. We had her do full day pre-K and the program was very structured and very much like the kindergarten program she is in now, just with a few more rest breaks. My son will be the youngest in the class if we send him on time, and I can already see the effects in preschool. I was pushed a head when I was a kid and was always the youngest. I remember being tutored after school through third grade to catch up and I was always behind socially. That being said, I know some kids that are ready and do just fine. My girlfriends daughter is one of those kids. Good luck in your decision.

My son has an October b-day and too missed the cutoff. He also have friends who missed the cutoff by less than 2 weeks. We live in Howard County in Columbia actually and out of his class of 23 kids, 19 have b-days November or before who all missed the cutoff too. She will probably not be the oldest in her class and will have lots of kids her age. Also, they expect a lot more out of kids in kindergarten now and from friends of parents of kids with May and June b-days a lot of those kids feel they are much behind the other kids and do feel like they are playing catch up. Also, 12 months at this age will show a difference maturity wise as she will be on a whole different level from her peers if you start her now. From what I've heard from teachers, Howard County has over 200 applicants who apply for early admission and less than 10 make it so she will totally be probably the youngest in her class if she does get in. Also, they test for social, maturity, and academic skills for early placement. And though it may not seem like a lot now, picture high school. All her friends will have their licenses a year before her making her dependent on them for transportation and they will be a year older than her though in the same grade and having older kid minds to do what older kids do and she will probably want to follow. I personally would rather have my son be the oldest kid (the leader since most kids do look up to the older kids) rather than the youngest and more likely to be a follower. By the way, there are 4 kids with b-day's before Sept 27 in his class alone. Also, you get to enjoy her one more year before she starts thinking her friends are so important and they are more fun than you:-) Good luck with your decision.

It seemed like and easy decision with my daughter. Even though she didn't turn 5 until November, I put her in kindergarten. She was so tall and smart and outgoing. No problem!
But you are not raising a kindergartener. In middle school her friends were hitting puberty, dating boys, feeling confident. My daughter ended up struggling academically, too, because she just wasn't as studious and focused as the older kids. She is now in high school and, although still tall and smart and outgoing, she is in a tad over her head. I wish I had given her the chance to be an exceptional leader instead.
It may seem like a simple decision in kindergarten, but in a few years it will be very different...

New research shows that kids IQ correlates to their class...so if she starts Kindergarten now she'll have a "higher IQ" to match those ahead of her vs. a "lower IQ" to those below her next year. She will have to work harder, and it may be good for her. I used to think what's the rush, don't push them out of the nest too soon, etc. But I went to college at 17 and handled myself better than most 18 year olds and this new research is compelling. Good luck making your choice!

I started school when I was just 4, so I was always the youngest in class. I was also sheltered as a child, so I was never on the same level emotionally or with real world know how as my class mates. I'd suggest waiting, and let her start at 6. She may actually have the advantage, being a little older and more mature than her peers.

research, and studies that give results about this or that age group, are necessary and useful for making large-scale decisions by the schools. the problem with them is that individual children refuse to conform to the curve. most kids seem to do well when not over-faced, but as one poster pointed out, recent research shows the opposite. you can't make decisions that are overly influenced by studies. YOU know your kid. wise educators are aware that yes, parents tend to be biased toward their own offspring but that in the main parents know their kids better than they do and listen to your input. your honest appraisal of where your daughter stands socially and academically and your thoughtful opinion should be sought. please remember that a non-structured setting doesn't necessarily mean she's 'sitting out' a year of academics. look at the success of montessori. but you are the expert.
khairete
S.

Starting Kindergarten at age 6 seems so late but only compared to when we were kids or when our older kids were kids. Now-a-days, all kids are starting at the same age so if you get her tested in, she will always be the youngest in the class and think of it this way,,,,,she will be in class with kids a full year older than her.

I think all us parents (I have 7 y/o twins born halloween) are kind of weirded out with starting the kids at what seems such a later time, but in the end, it all works out. You have to choose for you and your daughter but she certainly won't be behind, and if anything, she'll be a bit more mature and able to handle school and the social aspects better next year than this.

Good luck

My son, now 13, entered Kindergarten at age 5. He is one of the youngest in his grade. By the time he entered Middle School, we wished we held him back a year. He is less mature than his peers. We had to work hard with him to maintain good grades. Although he is still immature compared to his peers, he maintains good grades on his own. It is true that they play catch up unless they are very mature and advanced for their age. The good news is that they will catch up. On the otherhand, my daughter, now 11, was kept back a year because of the cutoff birth date for entering Kindergarten (by 23 days). She is one of the oldest in her grade. We were disappointed at the time, but it turned out to be the best thing for her. She attends a private school and is a straight A student. She is seen as a leader by her peers and teachers, and is very mature compared to her peers. We never have to help her with her studies. She is totally independent. While some of these differences are due to my children's personalities, being one of the oldest in the grade definitely has its advantages. It sure makes parenting easier. Hope this helps.

i would so wait for her to be 6. I started at 5, and struggled the whole way through.....

My daughters were both toward the younger end of their graduating class. They would have been BETTER OFF if I'd held them to the next year. I could have done it with the July birthday...but not the March.

I see a lot of "babies" in the classroom that would do better if they were in the next class. Let her mature and be one of the leaders. It's wonderful for her self-esteem to be the front runner. AND, she'll be the FIRST one with a drivers' license... you won't have to worry about her riding with OTHER people's teens... ;-)

my sister was always the youngest is her class because of moving from one state to another. she is very smart and studious (she is currently in grad school) and we were discussing this once.

she said she had to work harder on some of the social lessons. as another poster noted it was not as a kindergartner but as she grew older that the age difference was more apparent. one thing that i hadn't thought of because she was such a voracious reader was that she said she didn't understand many of the themes in some of the books she was asked to read because she lacked maturity.

27 days is almost a month. i think i'd wait.

Hi there. I would appreciate any feedback you get from this question as I am battling with the same choices for my daughters. My 3yo will miss the cutoff by 12 days and her lil sister (when the time comes) will miss it by 8 days. I have been told that my option is to enroll her in a private school for kindergarten and then if i choose to place her in a public school for the following year, she would have to enroll in kindergarten again but they consider moving up to 1st grade half way through the year. The biggest downfall for that was she would miss half of her 1st grade year. I asked them what if I placed her in a private school for both kindergarten and 1st grade but they were unable to give me answer for that question. I'm very frustrated as noone has addressed the actual issue of whether academically and psychologically she will be prepared vs. birthday requirement.

wait. she'll benefit from being an older child versus a younger child. she may do great in both cases, but she may not.
she can go to pre-k a few days a week but the most work is usually done at home, even in kidnergarten. i didn't send my kids to pre-k lst year when they were 4. i taught them stuff at home. they're doing great now in kindergarten.

I agree with the educators. Even if she can keep up academically, she will most likely feel out of place socially, and emotionally. Both my children were born in December, so far only my oldest has started school. He is a very bright second grader in an advanced math program who is reading on a fifth grade level, but when it comes to being quiet, and sitting still, he is still learning. He is excelling in second, but I think in third, where they have to work independently a lot, if he were in that grade THIS year, he would be struggling. Not because of the coursework, but because of the other things that a higher grade involves. We try to have our children grow up too quickly now a days as it is, don't rush her into school.

I have not read any responses, but here's what happened in my house. I ddi get my daughter tested for early admission, her b-day is in December, so she missed by months. The testing, in my opinion, tests what they should know when they get out of kindergarten. So I put her in the pre-k program, she made friends easliy and shows no signs of problems. It may be that we as parents are putting too much emphasis on the age thing, my daughter doesn't seem to notice, or care, that she is the oldest in her class. By June, several of her friends are her age again.

My daughter missed the cut off by 26 days. She started kindergarten this past fall just before she turned 6. She is doing great! It is nice that she is one of the "older" kids. I would rather it be that way then having her be one of the youngest.

If you are concerned abut what she will be learning in another year of preschool. Look for a preschool that has a somewhat structured setting. Learning their ABC's, pre-reading skills, numbers etc.

My son has a late birthday (November) and started kindergarten at 6 and he's just fine. There are so many children who are born after the cut off date and they all are very happy. I think it's more of the parent's issue than the kids. They have enough to deal with in life than testing to get into kindergarten because of their age and a cut off.

Enjoy the time. Kindergarten is so different now. There are so many more expectations I do not think you would want to face at 4 years or a young 5. She will likely have such an edge as a 6 year old - of course then you may also have to insist they provide activities directed at her level too.

I am a firm believer in girls starting at 5 and boys starting at 6. I was even raised in a hippie commmun where "everyone is absolutly equal" well I grew up and they aren't! Girls predomintley are ready way before boys are. Unless your daughter is cognitviely or emotionally not ready test her. You know her best. You may have to fight a bit, but what better fight is there than for your child right?

My daughter's b-day is Sept. 9. She is 4.5 now. I considered testing for early admission to kindergarten, but I changed my mind. For one, better a big fish in a small pond than the other way around. Also, you have to think down the line. . . .she'll be the last to get her driver's license among her friends, she'll be younger than everyone else when she enters college. These things do make a difference. And, kindergarten is all day now. It's a lot to ask of even a 6-year-old, never mind a child who is just turning 5. Why push it? Give your daughter one more year to be a kid and have some fun. She's got plenty of years of school ahead of her.

Go ahead and have her tested, but go with whatever they recommend. They know based on years of experience and thousands of children what is best for your child. Here are 2 things to consider:

You can start her and she may do fine, but she could have been EXCEPTIONAL if you had waited a year.

You can always give her an ego boost if you find out she's more advanced and skip her later. But holding a child back is VERY detrimental.

You can put them her into private kindergarten. My kids all have spring birthday's, but I would have done that if it came to it. I know a lot of people who have done that. It typicall runs $400-$500 per month in Southern Maryland, and then they can go to first grade with everyone else.

I've had 2 children that went at 5 and 2 more that had to wait. Luckily, in my opinion, the two that went at 5 were more than ready and the two boys, who waited until they were 6 have benefited from the experience. I've met many parents of older kids who waited and not one would go back and change anything, but I have met many people who wish they had listened and waited. Giving a child an edge is never wrong but putting them in a situation with kids who are essentially a year older can be stressful now and later when peer pressure and puberty begin to rear their ugly heads. My advice would be to wait, he's only 5 and he's only little once, but ultimately you should go with your insticts and do what you feel is right for your child.

My vote is for age 5. My oldest started at age 5 and my youngest started at age 4. Both went to preshcool the year before. Both were completely ready both socially and intellectually. My oldest (started at age 5) was way above her class as she had begun reading in preschool. There has never been any "playing catch up".

However, you know your child best and can make the best decision for her.

Hey there!

My son is missing the cut off my 2 days!!!! I will not push for an exception though because he's a boy. It's better for boys to be the older/bigger ones in the class. I don't want to be completely sexist in my reply so I wont even get started on maturity levels in boys vs girls, lol.

But if you feel/know that your daughter will be bored by then and need the next step then go with your gut. Good luck!

My son will be three this fall and I am not putting him in preschool or he would be in preschool for three years before he can start kindergarten. He would be so bored by the time he got to Kindergarten. Besides once they start school they are in school for a long time and then they become adults and are no longer babies. *getting choked up*

Whatever you decide will be fine and what it should be.

L. V

I am in the same boat as you. My older daughter missed our old cutoff by 1 day. At that time I did not have the money to have her tested (it would have cost between $500 & $2000.). She is now in 3rd grade, loves being the oldest & does very well in school.

My younger daughter missed our new cutoff by 2 weeks. I considered having her tested, but decided against it. Especially since my older daughter is doing so well. She will start kindergarten as one of the oldest, but i think that will be good for her. I do have a friend that had her daughter tested (she is 3 weeks younger than my daughter), she passed & is going to kindergarten, but most of the kids are more mature than her. My friend thinks she might have been better off waiting, but its too late now.

I thought a lot about this as my son's birthday is in the window that most parents consider red-shirting their kids.

It came down to a few considerations for me:
- He was able to sit still and concentrate. This doesn't sound like something you are worried about, but it is a huge consideration with especially active kids.
- He had reasonable mastery of the exit criteria for kindergarten - in other words, he still had things to learn in kindergarten, but he was coming in with some instant wins and some clear areas where he'd be working on skills.
- What I didn't think about, and is probably the most important factor, is my child's social skills. When I've helped out in class, I've seen that most kids just fit in. But, it is pretty easy to pick out the few who are substantially younger than the others or who have other issues going on as they are especially wiggly, don't interact with the class, don't really get the rules of the class and seek attention through disruption instead of participation or just tune out, timidly.

I'll end with a positive - my niece who was 3 months from the cutoff was held back a year, starting kindergarten at 6. In that year, she continued to be precocious academically, but also picked up social and emotional maturity. So where, as the youngest in her preschool class, she was a follower; as the older child in kindergarten, she is now a confident leader. If you are worried about your daughter being bored in Kindergarten as a 6 year old, keep in mind, smart kids usually find productive ways to feed their curiosity, and teachers/parents can do a lot to challenge them outside of the standard curriculum.

And if you are still on the fence, read Outliers.

I say to wait & send her the following year. Our school system changed from a 12/31 cutoff (that my daughter would have made) to a 9/1 cutoff. I was initally disappointed, especially since she has two much older brothers who stimulated her academically very early on. We did not have her tested & I'm glad we didn't. The majority of her kindergarten class turned 6 before the end of the calender year. She's way ahead of where her brothers were coming out of kindergarten and she had a great year. When I pondered testing her, someone asked me if I really wanted her to move away to college at age 17-that really made me re-think my position! Plus, I enjoyed having my "baby" at home one more year. Good luck in your decision making.

If you were talking about a son rather than a daughter, I'd agree about waiting the year.

Were I you, I'd have your daughter tested. If she's had a year or more of preschool she's probably ready for kindergarten. Remember most of us moms started kindergarten at age 5, and we did fine! It's primarily out of consideration for boys that the cutoff date was moved from Dec 31st to Sept 1st.

my daughter misses the cut off by 6 days.......my husband and i dont agree on this situation he wants her to start at age 5, her bday is on the 1st day of school & i want her to start on her 6th bday......she is ready academically but not socially.......my son (in kindergarten) was in speech & i had a meeting, for his exit review, & met with his kindrgrtn teacher, school principal, school social worker, & speech therapist & my dghtr was there so i asked them what they thought about her being a young 5 yr old who is academically ready but not socially & they all encouraged me to wait til she was 6 & they named many reasons......but they also said that if she did go & I or the teacher didnt think she was doing well that she could repeat kindergarten, but i am not keen on her repeating a grade.

I have to deal with this with all my kids. My oldest missed by a few weeks, my 2nd misses by 1 day and my youngest misses by 10 days. My older 2 are girls and my youngest is a boy. That said, here is my experience and opinion…

We did a lot of research (including polling friends who had made the decision to test and place ahead and to hold back and go with the cut-off) and even had our daughter tested for placement. Without exception, those who decided to hold back were pleased with their decision and had not regrets while those who pushed ahead of the cut-off questioned if it was the right decision more that once.

Ultimately we decided to go with the cut-off age and not place ahead. She turned 6 on September 2nd and is the oldest kid in her Kindergarten class, but for us, it was a good decision. She is not struggling with her work, she is well-liked in her class and she LOVES school. One of the main factors in our decision was how this would affect her both academically and socially in the years to come (especially High School and College).

I feel that, as a society, we ask kids to grow up way too fast now-a-days and I want to just let my kids be kids. That said, I also think that pushing them ahead just because they are academically and socially ready now, does not mean that there will not be academic and social issues as they age. There is much more of a stigma attached to holding a child back to repeat a grade than there is to giving a child more challenging work or extra work to keep them challenged. Think about High School - AP courses or Remedial classes, which would you rather have your child taking? Speaking of High School – if you put your child in ahead of the cut-off and they are the youngest in their class, think about the social implications that has – the influences of the “older” kids – there is a big different between someone 15 going on 16 and someone about to turn 17. Issues I don’t even want to think about when they are 8, 6 & 2, but reality of the future anyway.

Whatever you decide, it is a personal decision for you and your family and what is in the best interest of your child.

Good-Luck with your decision!
~ B.

I know so many families that have faced this same situation!! My sons have lots of friends in their classes that were either started early or started a little later. I talk to their parents often. The ones who waited and had the kids start at 6 seldom have regrets. The ones who might make a different decision if it ever happened again were the ones who went with an early K start.
Not b/c it makes a difference then, b/c often the developmental difference shows up in middle school or high school. When school and social issues become so dominant in their lives.
The older kids feel more self confident and not as pressured in certain situations. The younger kids are more likely to want to please to be seen as an equal. Not always---of course.

You know your daughter best, but I would encourage getting an opinion from an educator/ counselor. There are "gift of Time" programs around. Check into them---they are specailly designed for the kids who aren't quite ready for K. A whole class of 5 year olds in a type of advanced pre-K!