"Kids Staying Home Alone After School"

Updated on January 02, 2014
A.B. asks from Tulsa, OK
21 answers

At what age is it appropriate for a child to stay home alone after school? My daughter is nine and the longest she would be at home alone would be two hours (between when she gets home from school and when we get home from work). Is she old enough for this?

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

Even if so, how boring! She might watch tv and be lazy.
I'd do after-care where she can have fun and be active.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

in Michigan kids have to be 12. and then it would depend on the child some kids could not stay alone at 14!

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

It really depends upon the maturity of your child and how much work you've put into ensuring that she knows how to behave in the house while alone. Also, take your neighborhood into account. Do you trust your neighbors?

When my boys were 7 and 8, I started leaving them at the house for 15 minutes at a time. Their instructions: No cooking, don't go outside, don't answer the door. They knew how to call me and 9-1-1.

Then I started adding more time as they showed they could handle being on their own. When they were 8 and 9, I would go out to dinner with friends and call them every hour or so to check on them. I always ensured that they had something to do, and at that point they could use the microwave on their own.

At that same age, I allowed them to start coming home on their own after school. Same rules.

At 10 and 11, I started allowing them to play in our yard after they called me to let me know they'd arrived home and got instructions for any chores that needed doing. It was also nice to be able to have them pull food out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. :-)

Now they're 11 and 12...and they can spend a whole day at home with no problem. They are able to make eggs and grilled cheese and whatnot on the stove. They go play outside.

In a few more years, I'll be able to leave overnight if needed without getting a sitter.

So, you can see, you have to build up from the most basic responsibility of being alone for a short time, to being alone longer. You can't just thrust them into being alone for a couple of hours and expect no issues. Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Houston on

I was and am a rule follower. However, as a bored latch key kid, I did get into things and make choices which were inappropriate at best. I got into the liquor cabinet as one example. I was bored and curious and had no one around to watch me. Two sips and I can't tell you a thing about that night. This is really the worst thing I ever did but it is still bad enough I am going to really think long and hard about leaving my own alone. Personally I would consider an appropriate afterschool program which can monitor and enrich your daughter. Good luck in whatever you decide.

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

to me it isnt' the maturity thing, there are very mature 9 yos. that could be left alone occasionally and be fine.

To me it is so sad, because I was a latch key kid and even at 12 I was so lonely and felt unloved, I knew mom needed to work so we could eat but I was all alone and that was a horrible horrible feeling. you want to do this for 2 hrs everyday? please think again.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

She is in 4th grade and it will be second semester? If she is a child that follows directions, I think she could handle it. Talk about the rules and then write them down and post them.

Have her call you when she gets home. Th

is is the time to say "I know you locked the door, but go and check it." Make sure there is a neighbor that is close by that your daughter can go to in case of an emergency or in case she losses the key. (I suggest you hide an extra key and and then hide a second one but not tell her about it unless she calls to say, I have lost the key and can not find the hidden key. .

I used to stay home starting in 3rd grade. Never had a problem. Never got locked out. But I was a child that followed the rules. I would call my mom when I got home. Made a snack and started my homework. If I could not finish it, I was to leave it on the table and my mom would help me. Then I would watch TV..

Once I was in 5th grade, I actually would start dinner.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I think a mature 9 year old would be okay every now and then, but not every day. She'll get bored and lonely and I just don't think it would be very nice for her. I'd try to find an after school program, or see if there's a mom willing to take her in for a little extra $.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

12 or 13 if trained in Red Cross.

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Check your state laws to see what the minimum age is, and then determine if your child has the ability to handle emergency situations, strangers at the door, etc.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

If you think she is mature enough, then go for it. I think 9 plenty old to be alone for a few hours. Why not find some activity for a few afternoons, and try her out on 2 days a week?

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S.L.

answers from New York on

My oldest started coming home to an empty house in 6th gr. It was usually an hour or less before my husband or I got home.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Every child's maturity level is different. Personally, I think 9 is too young. I don't think they know how to handle situations, although they will tell you they can.

How does she feel about it. My 8 year old wouldn't dream of staying home alone. She stayed the night with her godmother and they went out and left the kids home alone with the 15 year old. She said she was a little scared of being alone.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think it is a little young but could work depending on the kid and neighborhood. The part I would not be ok at all with was them walking home from the bus stop and letting themselves into the house.

My almost 11 yo let her friend into our house today and she forgot to lock our front door even though I reminded her when she was answering the door.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Another latchkey kid here-- lots of people have chimed in with very good reasons that even good kids get into trouble home alone, bored. I know I certainly got into things I shouldn't have, some of them rather lurid and alarming. Plus, we got locked out accidentally one night, which had our neighbors calling CPS. Lovely, that.

Look for a good afterschool program or find an afterschool caregiver for your daughter to go with. Some stay at home moms would likely be willing to pick up your kid, feed her a snack, help her with homework for a reasonable fee. One of my nanny jobs was picking up the girls from two families after school, walk them home (to one of their houses), serve an afternoon tea and help the girls with homework or another activity. The parents picked up around 5:30 and all was well.

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L.A.

answers from St. Cloud on

My child is 8 and there is no way I'd let him walk home alone or have the run of the house. Way too young! 10 or 11 is more appropriate for what they know how to handle(my opinion of course).

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

check w/ your state authorities....In Massachusetts, it's 12.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

How mature is she? How safe is the neighborhood? Is there a neighbor that you can trust if there is any trouble? Has she had any trial runs (left her alone while you ran to the store or the like)?

Our kids didn't until the oldest was 12, but she was babysitting her 3 younger siblings. Is there an after school activity that she can do that would shorten her time alone?

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Yes, she's old enough physically for this. I have started home alone training with our girl who just turned 10. I go out of the house but not away from home yet.....like I might run over to the neighbors house for a few minutes but not drive off to the store to shop for groceries. I might walk around the block to exercise, go mow, etc...this is to help her be "in" the house without anyone else around.

Kids need to feel that. They need to realize no one is with them. It's likely the first time in their life they've ever been totally alone. Mom or dad were somewhere in the house. If there was a noise it was comforting, it was someone they knew and trusted. If they hear noises and are home alone it's scary.

Getting used to that feeling takes a bit. Once they're good with being alone then it's time to drive off somewhere and leave them alone. I would say 15-30 minutes at first.

You could have an accident or get mugged or kidnapped yourself so have a contingency plan set up. Let your most trusted neighbor know you are leaving your child home alone. They need to know where you are going, how long you expect to be gone at the most, and what to do if you don't show up in that time frame and you aren't answering your cell.

Having specific rules about what they can and cannot do is a good thing too.

Our rules are no cooking. Absolutely no fires to cook. Not going to happen. Microwaving is okay but nothing more than a couple of minutes, you know, like for popcorn, TV dinner, something quick and easy.

No answering the house phone. If it's dad or mom or grandma/grandpa then okay but if it's a friend or anyone else they better not answer.

No going outside or opening the door. They stay inside unless the smoke alarm goes off. Then they go to our designated meeting place to wait.

They have to learn to be hidden away and stay out of sight.

They should be able to work up to several hours within a few months. Then it's up to you as to how many hours you are comfortable with them being home without an adult.

Kids can legally babysit at age 12, the American Red Cross has babysitting classes for kids age 12 and above. So my thoughts are that if a kid is supposed to be old enough to take care of another human being at 12 by themselves they better be able to take care of themselves by themselves very well by that age.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I know for me this is too young. I might consider it starting around age 12, and then it would depend on the maturity of the child. At the age of 9 or 10 the most I might allow is 20 minutes while I run to the store.

Check and see if your school has before and after care (here it is run by campfire).

J.S.

answers from Richland on

My kids were ten and twelve when they first latch keyed and even then it was only the time it took for me to drive home from work. They are thirteen and fifteen now so they are alone a couple hours.

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

NO WAY! Two hours is way too long. I wouldn't even do it for 15 minutes.
My oldest is 11, and she has never been left home alone. Put her in an after school care program where she'll be safe.

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