Kids Spending Spring Break with Grandparents, I Am a Nervous Wreck
March 30, 2010
I was hoping that writing this down and sending it out into cyber space and all you wonderful moms would help me relax a bit...and hopefully relieve some fears. All 5 of my kids are spending the spring break with my in-laws. This is the first time that a) all of them have gone at one time b) have gone for this length of time and c)first time for my baby to be away from us this long.
I am a nervous wreck and although I know that it is good for them to have some time with the grandparents (my mom lives 2 states away and we only see her once a year and my dad passed away before I had kids, so these are their main grandparents), I am still worried about everything you could possibly be worried about...from them missing us and asking for us? to them being injured somehow...to the drive home, which takes 3 hours and I HATE it when my whole family is in one car, makes me crazy...arrgh, my stomach is a mess and I am having a hard time enjoying my "alone time", which I know I need and should be good for me and my DH....but sheesh, this is hard!
The kids are 18,15,6,4 and 2....big brothers are excellent with helping with lil' brothers and sis, and I know they will all be having a great time...we stayed the weekend and made sure they all got settled in and figured out the sleeping arrangements and all that stuff. I am not as worried about any of the boys missing us (only getting injured somehow) but with my baby girl I worry about her missing us and asking for us...is 5 nights away from mom and dad too much for a 2 yr. old? I kinda thought so, but my DH and in-laws didn't want to "leave out" sis...so I caved and let them take her too. Now I am regretting my inability to speak up and speak my mind...
Enjoy your week off mama! As a mom, grandma and mom-n-law I promise you that your babies will love thier time with the grandz. They will miss you at times, but this experience is really a gift to them, and the grandparents. It will deepen the bond between the kids (this may be the last "kid only" trip they have for many years to come) and your baby will benefit.
So, sip tea, call a girl friend, take a bubble bath and spend some alone time with hubby.
Friday is knocking at the door....
I am sitting here smiling while reading this...not at the fact that you are a nervous wreck, but at how lucky you are to have such a great family and five entire days to yourself with your husband!!
Of course you are nervous (I think if your 2 year old were older then you wouldn't be as worried) as I would feel the same way. However, like you said the older kids help out and it's not like the five kids are being left alone! I think it's good that you 'got it all out' but now, I think you should not worry and realize they are in good hands. I wasn't sure by reading - is it your husband's parents? They raised your husband and he turned out fine (I assume...hehe). Take this week to reflect.
Think about how lucky you are to have a large family...how lucky you are that they have grandparents that live close enough that they can spend a week with them. Surely this will be a trip they (maybe minus the smallest) will never forget. Be thankful for alone time with hubby. Do something special or different every night - go out to eat, go to the movies, stay home and do WHATEVER you want WHEREEVER you want. Order take out and wear something sexy for your hubby and watch tv together. If you work outside the house, take one of the days off so you can sleep in, get your nails done, or maybe just clean all day.
You deserve a break as much as they do!! So stop worrying (although I understand why), give your kids a call to see how they are, tell them you love them and get back out and celebrate you and your husband's relationship!
Awe poor you being so nervous!!! calm down its gonna be fine and they will be great! Im sure before it happens you will sit them down and chat about all your feelings. I hope you can enjoy your free time without worrying :)
no advice. just letting you know that you are not alone. I just started WW3 this week, because my inlaws want to take my nephew to Disney World, so they want my 9y old to come too. It'll be fun. I said no, because I don't want him 1 going without me, and 2 for a week in FL with out me. I'd be a nervous wreck! My nephew is high maintanance and I don't want my son to be left out of things because of it. I was told that 'each kid should have grandparent adventures while the grandparents are young enough to have the adventure!'.
That being said, the best you can do now is to check in with them daily and try and relax. When they do get home on Friday, they'll have all of these great stories, and your story will be that you stayed home fretting. So while you will still have worry, try and do something fun for you and hubby.
My kids, now age 4 and 6 and my brother's kids, now age 5 and 7, starting going to "Gram/Gramp camp" last summer. It is a real gift to the kids and the grandparents. My husband and I actually went on a nice date and even to a movie! while they were gone. We talked with the kids each day which was good for our kids but my niece (6 at the time) got all weepy every time she talked with her mom (this was a bit frustrating for my parents)- otherwise she was great and enjoyed it very much. It was hard for me not knowing what they were doing. I told my parents that next time - I did not necessarily have to talk with the kids but I would like to hear from them each night about how the day went. It's hard to give up that control.
I'm so sorry you aren't able to enjoy this alone time you have. It was really revitalizing for my husband and I. We knew our kids were safe and happy. They were with people who love them more than anything.
I am not discounting your feelings, I wish you peace and joy with your choices. At least, please go see a movie and enjoy it!
All I have to say is LUCKY lady. My mom would never do that. The one time she wanted to take my son for a wknd she asked me at the last minute to come along so I can enjoy the sea air and she'd watch my son. Ummmm, I watched my son the whole time and never got to sit out on the veranda and enjoy the sea air, my mom got a sun tan. The plus part for you is the older kids. Everyone will be fine. You better enjoy some of this time alone becasue when will it happen again? Sounds to me DH has some plans for you (lol).
Take a deep breath. Repeat. Repeat again. Ok, your daughter is with her brothers so her first big time away will be easier with lots of familiar people. They end up having so much fun that you end up missing them more than they miss you. Sucks, but that's the reality of it. Take another deep breath. And again. Try to focus on yourself (hard for any mom to do). The first day of quiet is the worst. On Friday you'll wonder where all the time has gone and be wishing for just one more day. Then they'll show up and the chaos of life begins again. Now, go do something you keep wishing you had time to do, even if it's just taking a nap. Hugs to you.
Seriously, they will be fine. There is email and text messaging, and picture messages and cell phones and land lines. "Two states away" these days in like being down the block!
Your older boys will surely be a comfort to the littler ones. It's great that they are all going together!
I know it's hard but look at this time as a BONUS! Do something FUN with your hubby!
God love your in-laws for taking all your kids! I would worry, too, but I would welcome the break at the moment. Your two-year-old will be fine - she has her big brothers to comfort her! You can always call and ease your mind or perhaps you can Skype with them if they have a computer and webcam? Skype is free and that way you could see them and they could see you. It's hard to be away from your kids, especially the little one for the first time, but you'll get over it and she'll be fine. Take a bath, go to a movie, do whatever and keep telling yourself that they'll all be fine without you for a week. I also think lil' sis would have missed all her siblings too much if she had stayed home!
Whew! Take a big, deep breath! Your children will all be fine; your 2 year old included! While my parents and in-laws did not take on 5 children, they both took my, then, 2 year old son for a week each this summer. It was hard letting go...we live 7 hours away from all of them, so I knew if something really bad happened, it would take quite a while for me to get there, but I knew that he needed to have that time with them, and they needed that time with him. He did wonderful (didn't ask for us once...don't know if that's good or bad, but I say it means that we are raising a well-rounded, independent child), and he is SO excited to back again this summer! I plan on taking those two weeks (one in June, one in August) and painting my house...God forbid I sit still! Enjoy your time and know that soon enough your house will be filled with chaos again! :)
I also have a 2 yr old daughter and I think you will be surprized at how well your daughter does. She is there with her siblings, and grandparents who I assume she has seen enough to be familiar with. If you trust your other kids and the grandparents to take care of her, then I would take some deep breaths and try to relax. I am almost certain that you are MUCH more stressed over this than your daughter is. 2 year olds are pretty flexible, especially ones with older siblings. My 2 yr old spends one weekend a month (Friday morning-Sunday night) at my best friends house or at Nana's house and she LOVES it. I would have no reservations at all letting her stay with either of them for a week or more. She may do exactly that next summer when my husband and I take a much needed vacation.
If you are really uncomfortable and missing your 2 yo follow your heart and go get her! Dont let others tell you whats best for her. Whatever you know is best for her, is what you should do. I would defintley call and see how she is doing. I tend to be overprotective but its not much of a break for you if you are just missing her and upset and worried. Follow your heart mama and dont let others tell you whats best for your babies.
Wow! I totally understand how you're feeling! Two years old seems a little young to me, but i tend to be pretty overprotective. And she's with all her big siblings, so she has them for comfort too. Maybe you could call and chat with your oldest to get the real scoop on how your little one is doing. It could be she hasn't even asked for you! (I know, a blessing and a tragedy all in one!) I hope you can enjoy your alone time, but remember, youre the mom, and if you feel you should go get them earlier than planned, that's OK too! As far as injuries go, it's important to give your in-laws a piece of paper giving them permission to consent to treatment for your kids. Then, legally, they can make decisions in the case of an injury so your children can be treated without waiting for you or your husband to arrive. Just some thoughts. Good luck!
I'm just a little surprised that you are so many kids and so much experience, that you are in this crises mode. Just for that alone, I'd wonder if you've always been that way (high anxiety levels?) or if you have different concerns regarding THIS 2 year old.
My experience with my kids and my grandkids is that if the grandparents are lovely, have a similar parenting style, and will go along with most of your parenting policies, then that is not a concern. Unless your 2 year old is very very different in fears and personality, then he will probably do so well that you will be hurt that they didn't cry for you as much as you thought they should. Little ones will/may cry when you leave at that moment, then when grandma directs their attention to a fun activity, gift, new experience, that will go away and usually stay away. Tell the grandmother your routines for bedtime so that she doesn't leave out story time or ___ ounces from the bottle. We have found that it doesn't have to be the exact same routine as the child identifies that that is Grandma's style, Aunt Sharon's style, etc and doesn't mind little changes. Your two year old will probably be pretty outspoken in needs and wants and your grnadparents will pick up on their trends. Go have a good time and don't be too disappointed when you hear that they cried only once and seem to be having a grand time. I am curious to see how the other mom's and grandmom's feel about this.