Kids Home Alone - Downers Grove,IL

I just wanted to mention not only is it the maturity of the children but the situation and the nature of your community.

we live where neighbors are close and know my kids and my kids would be comfortable ringing their bell for help. My son is very responsible at 11 and does well while I am gone for 20 minute errands. I'm not happy but he has also had to come home from school to an empty house on occasion..usually only for 15 minutes. Hubs thinks because he has handled that occasionally that he could do it all the tume...but that doesn't feel right to me. Yet.

Home alone for short periods of 1/2 hour or less at 9, for an hour or two at 10, and babysitting at 12. I make them take the home alone class, the safe walk class, the babysitting course and first aid. They are both quite mature and responsible, we live in a good neighbourhood and know our neighbours well.

First, it's important to know your state's laws regarding supervision.

Secondly, there is no right age. The right age is when they are mature and responsible enough to be unsupervised.

We started small. Leaving them for 15-20 minutes while we walked around the block. The rules: No cooking, stay inside, don't open the door or talk through the door for anyone. They knew how to call 9-1-1, and how to call us. We practiced.

Over time, as they proved themselves responsible, we left them for longer and longer. 30 minutes to run and put gas in the car and pick up fast food. An hour to go to the grocery.

They're now 12 and 13. We can go out on a date, or be gone all afternoon running errands, no problem. If I have to work on a Saturday, I know that when I come home, their chores will be done, the house will be clean, and they'll be playing outside with their friends. :-) It's great....but it took TIME to get there.

Hi. After my DS turned 13 in August, we started out with just a few hours and very clearly defined rules and boundaries. He's proven himself to be very responsible, we have our little ways of checking behind him that don't involve a nannycam. And now?? He's home on his own today because school is closed due to the blizzard we had on Sunday and my DH and I had to drive in for meetings today. I agree it depends on the kid(s). I will add one more thing...follow that mom compass and you'll be just fine. :-) S.

I think it depends to a certain degree on the kid - the level of trustworthiness, the level of responsibility, and the level of common sense that has been shown. I feel comfortable leaving my son by himself for up to an hour at age 10. He is a very mature child for his age. At the same age, I'd have been afraid his sister would accidentally burn the house down - at 10 she was not reliable enough to fly solo. My daughter is now 13, and I finally feel okay about leaving her home alone for a few hours. Neither child has done any solo babysitting yet, but my daughter has done it with me present as back-up but uninvolved.

My boys are 6.5 years apart and are similar in many ways, but my oldest has always been more comfortable staying home alone. Both boys have always been exceptionally calm, never ones to rough-house. I only mention that because if they were rowdier I may have been more concerned about leaving them alone. Also, we live on a small farm and the entire property is gated. No one can get to the house, so we don't have to worry about strangers coming to the door. The down side is that the boys could never go to a neighbor for help. We don't have neighbors nearby. They would have to call for help. There are neighbors down the street they could call that could arrive quickly.

We began leaving our oldest alone for short amounts of time when he was 8. That was just when we were running to the local store to pick something up quickly. At 10 he was babysitting his brother who was 4 for short periods. By 12 he was a pro. Now he's 17 and is incredibly responsible.

His younger brother is almost 11 and is extremely mature for his age, but doesn't like being alone. He gets lonely. We've left him alone for short periods since he was 9. Now we can leave him for longer periods of time, but he usually prefers to tag along with us whenever possible.

I really think the personality of the child is much more important than age.

I remember being left home alone for an hour or two at a time when I was 10. I would stay home if my parents went to run errands or something like that.

By 12 I would stay for a whole night by myself. I was also watching other neighborhood kids at that age.

While kids' maturity and the community's nature are key, you also should be aware that there are some states with laws governing the ages at which kids can be left alone, and the ages at which a child can be left in charge of another child. I found this on a very recently updated web site (masslive.com):

"Only three states have laws regarding a minimum age for leaving a child home alone. These include Illinois which requires children to be 14 years old; in Maryland, the minimum age is 8, and Oregon requires that a child must be 10 before being left home alone. In Maryland, a child must also be 13 to baby-sit another child. Under the federal government, a youth of "any age" may baby-sit in a private home, but a state law with a higher minimum age takes precedence."

I notice that one of the states named as having a minimum "home alone" age is yours -- Illinois.

In places without a minimum, it does depend on the child, but there are a lot of variables, such as how cool the kid would stay in a bad situation. For instance: If something catches fire, would the kid try to be a "good kid" and put it out at first, rather than get outside immediately as he should? Does he know that the carbon monoxide detector going off needs to be taken seriously even though he can smell nothing and see nothing so all appears well? Does she know where and how to turn off the water to a toilet that's overflowing, or how to turn off the main water to the house if needed? And so forth. Those seem like "It'll never happen" scenarios but that's just when things WILL happen -- when they're least expected. Even a mature, smart kid can get flustered and forget what to do when the toilet's suddenly gushing, or some alarm's going off, or a sibling's bleeding and it's not just a little cut. Something to consider, and something that requires training by the parents beyond just "Don't answer the phone and don't open the door."

Also, it's just worth noting that official babysitting classes run by organizations such as the Red Cross won't take anyone under age 12. Same with babysitting classes offered at our local recreation center, and babysitters' first aid classes I've seen advertised. That indicates to me that folks who do that kind of training believe that kids need to be at least 12 to grasp the content and be able to recall and apply it in an emergency. Sounds like a good yardstick to me, both for babysitting age and for home-alone readiness too.

We started leaving our daughter alone for short periods when she was maybe 11-plus, for half an hour or 45 minutes tops and us no more than a block or so away at the drugstore. She is 14 now and I would be fine leaving her for a couple of hours at a time (and she loves it!).

Depends on the kids. I started leaving my oldest home for an hour here and there when he was 10, but not with my younger ones there. Same thing now - my middle son is almost 11 and I started leaving him for an hour here and there a couple of months ago, during the day, but not with his younger brother (just turned 9) with him.

The kids were probably 12, 6 & 4 when I started leaving them home together to do things like grocery shop, etc. When the oldest two were in 8th grade 13/14 (they're the same age), youngers ages 5/6 or 7/8 they were baby-sitting for us regularly during the evening and after school. I still hire sitters for the younger kids when I'm working during the summer because being at home with the teenagers all day is just too long and they get on each others' nerves, but they're good alone for a few hours at a time.

I have 2 boys. A very responsible 14 year old that started staying a few hours alone at 12 and a 13 year old wild man that I still don't trust by himself. Never have one watch the other because in OUR situation, it would just be a big fight.

i could leave mine alone for an hour or two from 8 on. they were (and are) pretty steady fellows. i started homeschooling them at ages 14 and 9, and they did 2-4 afternoons per week at home alone (together) working on their schoolwork for a few hours.
khairete
S.

I think it depends on the child, some are competent to be on their own and some are not.

I homeschool my 8 year old and I know she will be fine if left alone for about an hour or so, but I worry more if something happened to me while I was out (car accident, etc.). If we didn't live in such a rural place and had trustworthy neighbors I would feel differently, but if something happened it would takes the cops over 45 minutes to get out here.

The age of legally babysitting others varies from state-to-state. In MD it's 13. My older two stay home alone for period of time, they are 11 and 9. The 7 year old isn't legally allowed to yet, and he is sometimes too bossy for me to be comfortable leaving him home with the other two. He will be 8 in a month though and then it will be legal for him to be home for a few hours alone as well.

We have a lot of neighbors who stay home, so if there was an emergency they could get to them. I also work 10 minutes away from home, so it's not bad.

We started with baby steps. The very first time I left my two eldest alone, I just walked down the road to the mailbox. And I gave strict instructions to behave, etc. I got home and they were trying to light a bonfire. Never in their lives had they played with fire, or tried to light anything .. I couldn't believe it. Needless to say, that made me think twice. They were 10 and 11. Typically, they are very responsible, but all it takes is one to have a bright idea...

I waited a couple of years until I would leave them just long enough for us to take a younger one to an activity nearby. Quick trips, and back. When that went ok, then we had them take a babysitting course. Now I will leave them alone (middle school) with the kids - but still not for long, and more importantly, we're nearby. We typically go get groceries or do local errands.

My boys are not the most mature kids on the planet. They are very responsible with their younger siblings, it's more what would you do in an emergency situation that would concern me - so we have gone over all that. And the babysitting course was super thorough. It was an all day affair.

My kids also went through swimming lessons and took CPR and what not, and even though I am not sure if they could handle a health emergency, they sort of get you stay calm etc.

It also depends on how your kids deal with being home alone. My quiet one wouldn't want to be home alone by himself. It would freak him out.

The age the kids here generally take the babysitting course is around 11-13.

In NJ children under 12 must be supervised. At age 12 they can be left home alone. You definitely want to be aware of the guidelines of your state and lean towards that because if God forbid something were to happen to the kids left alone outside of the state governed guidelines you as the parent/guardian will be held legally responsible for them.

As for letting siblings watch siblings, I throw my NO vote in there. I was the oldest child and often had to watch my sister and cousin. It was a nightmare for me. My sister wouldn't listen to me and my cousin was a complete pain in my @ss. I hated watching them and they hated me watching them too. I was bossy but they were almost always doing something they shouldn't be or into something they shouldn't be or going out when we were told to stay in and other matters like that. Then we all would be in trouble even though I tried to get them to comply. Again a nightmare. Perhaps if the dynamics were different between us it could have been better but I just believe our parents would have been better served hiring a teen to watch my cousin and sister and leaving me to my own vices which were watching tv and reading with a preference towards reading.

Kids that are age 12 can legally babysit another living human being, the Red Cross has a babysitters class for kids age 12.

My thoughts are that if they can legally babysit another person at age 12 they should surely be competent at watching themselves.

Your 8-9 year old boy should be working to having time alone at home. IF you live in a scary area that you won't feel safe then disregard this completely.

You can take the other kids for a walk in the neighborhood and leave the older boy home alone. He has rules of no cooking, no online without supervision including cell phone stuff unless it's where he's locked out of internet and unsafe places without a password, not to answer the door if anyone is knocking even if it's his best friend or the next door neighbor, and he is to do something specific like work on homework, sit at the dining room table coloring, or sitting in a big recliner reading a book.

He should have a list of things he can do so he can have an easy time staying busy. We have trained our girl to make popcorn in the microwave on mini bags and normal bags so she can have a snack plus she can have a pop or juice or water to drink.

You son would be home alone for maybe half an hour. That's a long time for a kiddo that hears strange noises for the first time, the house creaking, the neighbors talking or TV noises if you live in an apartment, it can really play on their emotions if they've never really noticed them before.

He can build up to where you are able to take the 2 younger kids and run to the store, actually driving away from home. Not a few seconds away outside. This is a big step for some kids.

You always have to consider that you might never come back home so you have to teach your child what to do if you don't show up on time or don't call them to check in, you know what I mean. An accident can happen or a sudden illness, anything can happen so kiddo needs to know who's watching out for them if you don't come home when you're supposed to.

I have 4 extremely trustworthy adults that are always on our pick up list. If they go to the kids schools to pick them up there's a darn good reason.

If you don't come home when it's time and it's getting later your son needs a list of several people he can contact and say "Hey, my mom left me home alone and ran to the store. She's not answering her cell and neither is dad, and it's late. Can you come over and get me please?". Then if you come home and he's not there your friend needs to have left a note or something on the fridge letting you know where he is.

This way you know your son is safe and will be looked out for regardless of anything happening to you while you're gone.

He can work up to more and more time but at age 8-9 I'd say an hour is maximum. If he's perfect at it then by summer I'd have worked up to allowing him a couple of hours and maybe more but never with the other kids. He's not old enough to babysit and he's not an authority figure to them yet. They can all still go to child care at this age so they aren't old enough to all stay home every day for weeks on end.

My state has "guidelines" from CPS that state a child under 8 can never be left alone and 9-11 left for short periods. I follow those. I started leaving my oldest home when he was 8 for short trips (drop a sibling off for a play date, run up to the school). At 9 I leave him home for an hour to take another child to swim team so that he can finish his homework in peace.

I was a latch key kid starting at age 8.

Hi,

You live in IL and the law here is children under 14 cannot be left home alone. The wording in the law is somewhat vague, and open to debate, but I'm not going to risk having to debate that with a judge!
My neighbor contacted our local police station to clarify and an officer told her that yes, she could be arrested if her child were to call 911 while home alone and she was found to be under 14.
So to answer your question, I have not left mine home alone because my oldest is 12. I will wait until she's 14 according to state law.