Kids Dont Appreciate or Understand Value

I believe they are old enough to understand the value of money, and working for it. I wouldn't buy them anything expensive (game systems, bikes, TVs, etc.) until they have learned to take care of them.

Do the boys have chores that they are responsible for? Whether they already have some or not, maybe some chores could be "extra" on their list. If they do these extra chores, they earn a quarter or 50 cents, etc. per chore. Let them keep the money in their own piggy bank or something. When they want something from the store, tell them they have to buy it themselves with their money. They will realize that you have to work to earn the money, so whatever you buy with it has to be what you really want, and you have to take care of it or you will lose it!

HI K., I have 2 boys ages 12 and almost 15. They both have a playstation 2 in their room, my older has a computer in his, and of course they have their bikes. I cannot tell you the times that they lost at playing a game and threw their controller, when that happens they are not allowed to play it for a particular amount of time. If they (my youngest mostly) leave their bike anywhere besides the shed he loses it for a week. I have made them replace items that they have broken, but for the most part unplugging a tv, modem or video game for a while usually works. Also my oldest has the computer he has only gotten it took away once, he had a friend over one night and I think they were surfing inappropiate sites. After we finally gave it back it now has a parental lock on it. Kids really don't appreciate things like we did growing up, it is a different era, technology is great, but that is one thing that wrong with children now days. Tell your sister good luck and be firm.

Hey K., I have to agree with the other lady...start making the kids earn what they have! all the stuff they have already.. when she does take it away, well when does she give it back to them? I mean you have to set down rules and make them follow them or they pay the consequences! Give them real chores, cleaning the bathrooms, cutting grass, garbage, cleaning their rooms of course, dusting, vaccuuming...ect... I'm sure you understand what I am trying to say! Your sister has to put her foot down, and start making her boys earn each and everything that they get!! Toys that is...I would take all the stuff out of the room and make them earn all of them back one at a time! do they share the same room? It will work better if they are in different rooms but it can be done with them in the same room! also restrict them from going anywhere and from having company over until they start to prove that they deserve it!! I hope some or all of my suggestions help and I would love to keep in touch to see how things are going with her! She can do it as long as she sticks to her guns and DO NOT GIVE IN TO THEM NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY!!! I am sure they will make her all kinds of promises about how good they will be only if she give this or that back but don't do it make them earn each one back!! Good luck to her and you! D.

My friend had a very similar problem, her kids were not cleaning their rooms, were breaking things, and had a bike stolen because they left it in the yard instead of putting it in the garage. She was telling me how she solved it. She too is a single mother on a smaller income and what she did was take everything that her daughter age 9 and son age 12 valued the most but were not taking care of, favorite clothes that were in the floor, the tv, playstation, etc. She put it in a locked closet. She wrote out a chore chart and "Payments" for completing each task. They do the chores, they get their allowance and can buy back their items for prices (cheaper than the original prices. They can buy a favorite shirt back for $5, a tv for $30, etc. I think their allowance depends on how many chores they complete and they get it every week. The max they can get per week is $10.00 ($5 each). She has been doing this for about 4 months and says it is working beautifully. My kids are younger, so I have not tried this, but i am keeping it on the back burner for when I have preteens.

Please let me know if anyone gives any good tips. I have 3 children, 4, 9, and 11. They don't take care of anything! I have tried taking everything out of their rooms too. It doesn't work. I have even given away the majority of their things away and leaving with just a few things. That way they would have to take care of it. Nope. Good Luck.

They don't seem to be connecting work = stuff. www.daveramsey.com has this wonderful system for kids, it's similar to what the other moms here described. Work equals money and money equals stuff.

Otherwise they won't have a clue about the value of stuff. And in my estimation we don't have a right to expect them to unless we teach them.

I too agree with everyone's post. I have a now 6 year old and a very soon to be 3 year old. We have started chores for my 6 year old. Something simple to get her to begin to help out. It has worked beautifully. Both my kids seem to do the same thing as your nephews. They always think you will replace their stuff if they break it or loose it. We've even left the broken items around so that it would be a reminder that they broke it and can't use it anymore. That seems to work well so far. I definitely would not keep replacing things for them. And finding chores for them to do to "earn" back the items is a great idea. Especially if it takes longer than one time to earn enough for that item. (If it's too easy, where's the lesson).

It's awesome that you are helping your sister out. Good luck!

I don't know if this will work for them, but it sure did mine.
START boxing or bagging there favorite items make sure they see you doing this. Do it slowly if you have to until they start asking what your doing. Then calmly say I'm bagging these things up for children that don't have any thing. SAY you have so many nice things and exciting toys I know a kid will sure love this x-box etc... keep looking for items. even ask them to help you Say things like whats your favorite toy and say but it In here. Then sit down and explain that they don't appreciate them and until they do maybe they shouldn't have anything to play with. That will get them!!

hi K.. my sister had the same problem. buying the kids everything and them not appreciate it. now they are 11 and 13 and is doing good and has earned everything back, but what she did was explained to them, got a few movies about the kids thats not as lucky as them with the things we have here.Trac,took everthing out of their room,excepts beds,clothes. took tv dvds play systems computer,phone evrything away from them. once they we without it for a while they knew that you dont get everything handed to you in life you earn them, and that money doesnt come easy. so now thay have 2 big erase boards,with chores and things to do, at the end of they day she check to see if its done, if so they can gradually get the things back.and that has helped my sis a whole lot.....

I would have him earn money to buy a new bike. My son was playing on our play station and he got mad and through it he was 4 1/2 at the time and we made a quarter chart and he had to do jobs to earn the money and then we went and bought new ones. That was 2 years ago this summer and he still remebers earning the money back for that handle.
M. S.