20 answers

Kids Bathing Together

My kids are - 2 1/2 year old son and almost 5 year old daughter. Right now they still bathe together. However, I have found them doing somethings that in the future will not be acceptable. Like my son laying on my daughter, in the tub, to give her a rasberry. It is purely harmless now but..... I was wondering at what age I should seperate there baths. Also, another thing to consider, my husband is deploying in mid Dec for 1 year. I want my nighttime schedule to be easy so I can have some "me time." My kids love to play together in the bath so I hate to make them take seperate baths. Any suggestion on what you have done or think I should do would be great!

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Thanks everyone for your replys! I think, for my sanity, I will still allow them to bathe together and again explain that certain body parts are not to be touched by others!

Featured Answers

Now would be a good time to seperate them. It will become such a habit, they will be following one another to the bathroom.

These issues hit close to home for me. So if there was something along this line that I was questioning or doubting or wondering about, I would play it safe. I would rather be safe then sorry in this situation. Just my opinion.


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My children also bathe together, it is much easier to get it done in one bath, not to mention saving time and water. My son is 5 and my daughter is 2 1/2, so we have the same situation but opposite sexes. My children also lay on each other now and tickle and play. I am going to let them bathe together until they begin to notice each other in a different way. A friend told me that once her son started to ask about his sister's "parts" and started to ask to look at them more closely, she separated them. My 5 yr old son will make note of himself, playfully, not sexually, but he has never even made notice of my daughter's parts. If you make it an issue, it will be, so make sure not to make mention of them laying on each other unless it is face to face while naked and you notice that it may make them begin asking questions. My son also likes showers now more than baths so there are times when he just quickly takes a shower while my daughter plays in the tub. We have a shower head that is the massager that you can remove from the top so I have him stand in the tub, I wash him, and then take the shower head and rinse him. He is done in under 5 mins. while my daughter is sitting in the tub playing.

Use your best judgement, I think you will know when it is time but in the meantime, I think it is perfectly normal.


1 mom found this helpful

You are completely correct what they are doing right now is harmless. I am a Child Protective Service Worker. I also am a mother of two ( 6years and 3 years) and they bathe together except they are both boys. My friend has two children that bathe together one is 6 and a girl the other is 3 and a boy. I think once she starts asking questions or the other starts looking and trying to touch private place, which is totally normal childhood development is when it would to stop. I understand needing time by yourself you are a military wife. My husband was also in the military and I have lived in this military town my whole life. I made him get out after 4 years because I did not want to move and leave my family. If you are anywhere near the Camp Lejeune Area and need some local family, give an email. I think you rock as it is very hard to have to worry about all the household stuff, the kids, your husband, etc. You are great. I am very Patriotic and think our boys are doing great jobs, but wish they would come home. I have relatives over there. Basically do what you have to do, and just talk to them and tell them what is appropriate and what they should do in private versus together. Hope this was helpful, A..

1 mom found this helpful

My mom (now in heaven) had a real problem with me bathing our different-gender kids together. I just started putting underwear on them while they bathed. If you're right there with them and they aren't intrigued with each other's private parts, it's OK.

1 mom found this helpful

I believe it is time to seperate your children. I have a 3 yr old boy and a 6yr old girl. I give her a bath first and then it is his turn. At a certain age there curiousity is very strong even thogh it is inocent it is a sign to stop bathing them.

Good Luck


1 mom found this helpful

Your daughter will become uncomfortable. I bathed with my brother 21/2 yrs younger than I , for awhile. Seems like by 6, I wasn't anymore. We had lots of good times, and it made no difference. I am 63 now.

1 mom found this helpful

Simply explain to them that touching other peoples private parts is not ok. Please keep your hands to your self. Be very matter-of -fact about it.

It is natural, (tho creepy-remember we have way more attached to that then they do), so, simply outline the rules for them & keep them enforced. My method of enforcement is to simply remove the kids from the tub. No anger, no yelling. Just "I'm sorry, next time please follow the rules"

I'd avoid changing the routine if Hubby is about to leave. That will be hard enough for them.

Mine are 3 & 5, youngest is a girl. I couldn't imagine splitting their bathtime up unless one of them wanted to.

most doctors and experts say by age 3 so i would go ahead a separate them now

They are too young to think that bathing together is wrong. Simply tell them that those parts are for themselves only. That no one is too touch them. I told my kids (B-7, G-4) that God gave them those special parts to go to the bathroom only and that if someone ever touches them that they need to tell us. Let them be kids and DO NOT change the routine. We stop sharing bath time when our son turned six.

These issues hit close to home for me. So if there was something along this line that I was questioning or doubting or wondering about, I would play it safe. I would rather be safe then sorry in this situation. Just my opinion.


If it makes you uncomfortable maybe you should transition your 5 year old to showers. My almost 5 year old is now taking showers and it makes her feel really grown up. As a matter of fact she is now doing all of the work herself. I just have to turn it on and off she goes.

Now would be a good time to seperate them. It will become such a habit, they will be following one another to the bathroom.

I feel your children have seen these action. An they are imitating.
If they must play in water put them in a swimming pool.
Children see so many things and try to do the same.

My son is 9 and my girls are 6. They occassionally will all get in the tub together. They are familiar with each others parts and what to touch/not touch. I stay in the bathroom while they are bathing and they just have lots of fun! I recommend correcting any inappropriate behavior but don't feel that they should learn to be embarassed or ashamed of their bodies.
Just my opinion...

my daughter is 5 and son 2 1/2 and they bathed together until recently. they are still very innocent in their actions, but I didn't want them to think those actions were ok with clothes on or off. they would do like your kids were doing and also giggle about different body parts, so I decided to bathe them separately. I do what one other post suggested, bathe on different nights.

good luck

I have two boys ages two and four, and we just explain to them that there are certain parts of their bodies that are private, meaning they are just for them. We tell them it's okay if they want to check themselves out (they're curious about the rest of their bodies too), but no one else should touch their privates, and if that happens they should tell us no matter what the other person says. Since you have a boy and girl, I think it's fine to point out their physical differences--this is probably the perfect age to do it since they see it but don't have any certain meanings attached to it yet. Just be matter of fact and as honest as their age requires. My eight year old niece still bathes with my boys from time to time although I assume she'll want to stop that soon, but the boys at their young ages think nothing of it. Good luck!

My son is 2 and my daughter is almost 4..........I often wonder where the "cutoff" is and have heard from many, it should be around 5. However my 8 yr old nephew takes a bath when them when he's here and they all have a blast! I do explain that our "privates" are not to be touch by others, except mommy and daddy when wiping or cleaning.....I think they should be taught boundries early and then we should just let them kids as long as they can! As long as they are playing well and safe, let them have fun! Just this mommy's opinion.....

L.---I have a 5 1/2 yr.old boy and a 3 1/2 yr. old girl who on occasion do still bathe together. I see nothing wrong with it and if they are having fun together then I would let it continue. Now I will say that my son has started to request his own bath time....he actually takes a shower and like another poster stated--he pretty much does all the work himself. What I found works for us is that I give DD a bath and while I'm drying her off and doing her hair her big brother jumps in and does his thing. Let me also say that your son giving your daughter a raspberry on her belly does not mean he has seen or experienced something that he shouldn't have. For some reason our society wants to tag many behaivors sexual that aren't. My two even share a room---because they choose to---they like having the company at night. When one or both is ready for more privacy then we will seperate them. I guess what the long and short of what I am trying to say is they will let you know when they are ready to have seperate baths. Let them have fun together now and it will help create a stronger bond when they start to go their seperate ways......
P.S. Tell your hubby THANK-YOU for serving our country and protecting our freedom!

Hi L.,

Not sure what other mothers will say, and I have 2 sons myself so not your same issue. However, my S-I-L has almost grown kids, a boy and a girl. Though I never discussed the issue with her, when I went to visit, her children did not bathe together at this age.

To give you more time when your hubbie leaves, could you consider each child having a bath every other night, especially in the winter when they aren't as sweaty? That way you only have one bathtime to deal with each night, and no more worries about when you should separate them.

Take care!


I would just relax. Things are going well now, and it works for your family. You will know when it is time to separate. We have a pretty open bathroom scene, and my girls and boy just closed doors, dressed in their rooms, covered with a towel, etc. when it was time for their privacy. And that was around puberty! You could have a lot of time yet...Now, they stopped bathing together before that, and I can't remember what precipitated that, but I am sure it was equally clear.

I will note that we are keenly aware that we are rather atypical and let our kids know that other families have other standards. They seem to adapt just fine. --H.

We're in the same situation except my son is the 5 year old and my daughter is the two and a half year old. I put them in their bathing suits (found a bikini one for my daughter) and let them play together. At the "private time" I help them with getting the other areas clean. I let them wash everything else as much as they can and they still get to play together.

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