Kids and Utensils - When Do They Get "Good" at Them?

Updated on December 30, 2014
P.G. asks from San Antonio, TX
15 answers

We don't eat a lot of "MUST be cut with a knife" food - most can be cut with a fork. The knife stuff has been mostly "sliced when preparing" so my 7 year old's fork and knife using combo skills aren't very good. Fork, great. Spoon, fine. Knife and fork, not so much. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but I do want him to get the hang of it.

Any ideas on how to help him with his skills without making it a food-related battle?

When did your kids get good at using both?

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks, everyone, for the suggestions and reassurance. Dad was concerned, as for some reason they ALWAYS end up doing IHOP when they have special son/dad time and the knife/fork combo doesn't happen. We don't to pancakes much at home, and when we do, my son likes the minis and just pops them in his mouth or forks them. I don't make MEGA pancakes. And when we eat out, he usually gets pasta (fork/spoon) or chicken fingers, etc. stuff that's finger food or easily forkable.

We'll work on it :)

Featured Answers

F.W.

answers from Danville on

If you introduce CHOP STICKS a few nights in a row, 'they' seem suddenly able to master knife/fork/spoon!

Especially spoon.

Best luck!

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Don't know really, I just know I don't cut their food anymore. The older they get the more independent they are. Faced with asking a friend to cut their meat I am pretty sure they work through it.

4 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

They get better at it the more they practice. It's either going to be at the table, or during food prep. Any time you can make a game of it, do so. Like "can you cut the meat without making a sound of the fork against the knife, or the knife against the plate? Let's all try it!"

You can try with a smaller knife and a dessert fork too - sometimes the smaller utensils are better for smaller hands. Try using a plastic knife and a dessert fork to cut grape tomatoes in half, or other prep tasks that take the pressure off the "I'm starving and I want to eat now!" moment!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest have him practice on soft foods first. That way he'll have success to spur him on.

We are still cutting my 10 yo grandson's meat. If we don't he'll just not eat it.
But then he has sensory issues and is a picky eater. I think he's coordinated enough to cut his food.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I'd offer things like pancakes and scrambled eggs to practice these skills on. You'll need to re-show him how to do it (which utensil works best in which hand, that sort of reminder) and just insist on it. (I say "insist" as opposed to letting him eat huge pieces of food with his hands or tear it up with fingers. Nope.) My own is seven and I decided that I'd stop cutting up so much of his stuff. Now, he might have a first strip of waffles cut up, but after that, "oh, you can do that, there's a knife there" and I let him do it as best he can. Obviously there is some learning curve to it-- he's going to get it eventually. Just offer appetizing things to cut. :) Oh, and we let Kiddo use a salad fork with a butter knife, too.

(To answer another poster's question: we have our children practice cutting their own food at home on a regular basis so they are able to do it without us politely when they are out and about and confronted with a pancake or other such delicacy. )

3 moms found this helpful

J.C.

answers from Columbus on

My eight year old is just starting to be pretty good at it. My 11 year old still needs little help sometimes with the tougher cuts of meat. My 12 and 17 year olds have it down pat.
I have put no emphasis on switching fork hands (an interesting Americanism) to eat, and none of us switch fork hands to eat the bite we have just cut.

2 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Just give him the food and the utensils and let him practice at each meal. Don't cut his food (unless he is really struggling and needs a hand), because he can't learn to do it if he doesn't have the opportunity to practice. My youngest is nine and he has been cutting his own food for a few years. It was never a battle. Most kids want to do things themselves.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

Well, my youngest is 17 and I'm still waiting. :/

Seriously, my husband and I have been thinking of looking for a class to work on this. Obviously we haven't done something right.

I applaud you for thinking about it at a younger age. If it were me I'd continue to gently demonstrate and push in the right direction (gently).

My parents were so over-the-top with table manners that I was scared to eat in front of them sometimes. I think I over-compensated and went too far the other direction with my sons.

Good luck.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

My adult daughter took forever! She was in high school and still scooping with her opposite hand. She finally got it.

My 9 year old can do it, although she has to be reminded.

They are both left handed and can use the fork in their left hand and cut with their right. Then, put down the knife and eat with their left. I am right handed and have to cut with my right and hold the fork in my left, then set them both down and eat with my right. I'm jealous.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Nervy girl said it. But I would also suggest you let them stRt off with utensils that are not too . Remember their hands are a lot smaller than ours.

Once they get the hang of that, then move them to standard sized utensils.

They need to build up those muscles. And they need to understand what sixes of bites they are going for so thT they have a goal.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

My 9 year old is just starting to figure out knife and fork stuff. She still is pretty rusty at it. Give it time. It will happen.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I don't understand the big deal. I guess if you entertain important people who sit at formal tables with proper etiquette expected, well, even in those days the children ate upstairs with the governess or nanny.

Kids eat like kids. If they're at home why does it matter if they don't use their knife?

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

We give DD a real butter knife and encourage her to use it whenever possible. We cut up things like steak, but she can do a lot for herself. She still struggles with salad and a fork. She is 6. I think that a lot of it is just practice. Maybe try with french toast and pancakes for easy practice. (Though my DD uses a pizza cutter for pancakes. Easier.) We still have to walk her through a better way to hold the knife and how to saw vs just try to squash it sometimes, but she'll get there. But NOT proficient yet.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

how funny!
this one should be easy to answer, but i honestly can't remember.
they're both grown now, and big ol' bruisers, so presumably they figured it out at some point.
obviously it wasn't a big deal in my overall laundry list of Parenting Problems.
:) khairete
S.

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

We gave the kids a butter knife at age 4. They learned to cut soft things by watching the adults. Sometimes we offered advice. As they grew, we gave them more challenging items to cut, and showed them how we did it. They're 12 and 13 now, cut their steak with a steak knife, use the knife to push food onto their fork instead of scooping with their fingers, and hold their forks and spoons properly while eating (like a pencil, not a shovel).

Eating at the table together helps to work on manners. It is my opinion that, even with the mini pancakes, he should be eating with a fork. Pancakes aren't finger food.

Good luck to you and thank you for working to teach your child good manners. Unlike Gamma, I absolutely believe that the simple discipline of table manners is important. I want my boys to eat like gentlemen, not embarrassing slobs.

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