Kids and Cell Phones - Verona,NJ

When they need it. There is no hard and fast rule. It depends on the situation and the child.

3 moms found this helpful

Even though many of my son's friends, had them, we didnt't get him one until the summer before 6th grade. He would be having after-school practices and I felt better, knowing he had a way to get ahold of me. There's a different attitude in middle school- less parent communication -more focus on the students being responsible for themselves(at least in our's). Besides, I had girls texting MY phone constantly, asking if I would let my son text them back. Oy.

Also, there have been many times I have been glad he had his. One example, is when he was at a friend's house- there was some stuff "going down" that he was very uncomfortable with. If he had to go to the mom to ask if he could call home, it would have made things worse. He was able to call me to come pick him up.

I think there has to be boundaries. Ours are, no cell phones at the table, no texting until homework is done,etc. I thought we might have created a monster with it all, but my son has been super responsible with it. I have very rarely (if ever, actually) had to tell him to stop texting. I know how easy it is to drop your phone, or lose track of it - I've done both. But, it IS their responsibilty and a good way to teach it. FYI- most cell phone carriers have refurbished phones that are cheaper than buying new. Ya know, in case you need to replace a phone ;)

You could also buy one of the trac phones with prepaid minutes. You can get them at Walmart, Target, etc. for around $50. It would be a good way to start off, without having to add them to your cell phone plan. That is what we were going to do- but when I got a new phone, it was a good deal to just get my son, his.

Ultimately, it's about your child, and how responsible and mature they are.

3 moms found this helpful

I think it depends on each family needs and believes. My kid has hers when she was 10, it has be very helpful for us, I have being late and just call her and tell her I was running late. She has stayed with my MIL and has call us if anything has happened like grandma getting sick.
My husband also loves that she has her phone because sometimes I don't answer mine so he calls her.
I have lost my phone and use hers.
She has gone to Summer camps and use it to keep in contact.
She has text her friends and help each other with school work.
Yesterday it was the first time she had to take the bus because my husband was stuck in traffic and nobody was there to drove her back (we only have one car) the bus stop at the front of her school and stops a street away from us, I stood on the phone with her the whole time....it was horrible fo rme but she was so proud,I don't think we will do it again in long but I was glade she had her phone.

2 moms found this helpful

My personal rule is whenever they started activities that required me meeting a bus at odd times. However, can I PLEASE reiterate that a rule set beforehand should be that at 9:00 p.m. (or your personal preference) - the phone is turned off and in the parents bedroom? PLEASE do this - your child may be innocent and obey all the rules, but other kids are not.

2 moms found this helpful

My answer is when they are old enough to need it. My oldest got one at 10, in fifth grade. She moved up to middle school and I was working a job where I got home a half hour after her. We did not have caller ID and did not want her answering the house phone if she didn't know who it was, so we got her the phone so that Dh or I could call her. It also came in handy for events that she went to where we were not present. Not every 10 year old needs a phone. At that time (she is turning 16 now), her friends didn't have phones, most of them got theirs at 12 - and theirs were definitely "toys" used for calling and texting friends, fancier phones than hers. At that age, hers was not for fun with friends, it was to keep in touch with husband and me. My second kid got his a year older than she did, when events where it would make us feel better about giving him some independence if he had the phone came up.

1 mom found this helpful

I know some kids need them to stay in contact with their parents and that's fine. It's the kids that are on them the whole time they're with their other friends and texting all day and night. I don't like being dependent on a cell phone. Before I had mine I was able to leave for the day and run errands. Now I'm forced to answer when I'm out or else people worry about me. I don't like all the connections the kids have on Facebook. The friend requests from their friends friends? Come on really? Your picture gets passed around to all of your friends friends and so forth asking them to add you. The same happens with your kids pics. I have a nephew in a different town that was added to a lot of my daughters friends lists and they don't even know each other yet all these girls are adding him and my daughter doesn't even have a facebook account that shows who he is. They heard she had a boy cousin and one added him then they all kept adding him. Too much contact. with the phones they have the ability to calll whoever they want whenever they want unless you're monitoring the phone but they usually delete their messages and call list right away. When the friends start calling the cell phone all the time you lose track of their friends and don't always know who they're new ones are. I say high school but sooner if you need to have that contact with them.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with the other poster who said to get a phone when the child needs it. My daughter will be 8 in a few days and I can't imagine she would ever need a phone right now. We drop her at school and pick her up. She doesn't go anywhere herself or where there wouldn't be an adult to be able to call us. Most likely, if I gave her a phone, she'd lose it in about 10 minutes. She wanted an ipod (a nano) and I figure it's flushing $150-$200 down the toilet b/c it will be lost so quickly.

1 mom found this helpful

I got one once I was able to drive. They are there to make sure you can get in contact with your child right? I probably will get my child one once he is driving, so 15. I really don't see the point of 12 year olds having cells, unless they play sports and have a chance of being far away from you and you want to be able to call them.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it depends on the kid and the situation.
My son was about 10 when I got him a prepaid phone. It was cheap, in case he lost it, and he couldn't go over the time limit and suprise me with bills. He always had minutes left over and never lost his phone.
He's 15 and has a pretty nice phone that his older sister gave him when she upgraded. It's mostly for his dad and I to keep in touch with him if schedules change, etc. He has no texting or internet on his phone. It's not necessary, in our opinion. When he can pay for it himself, we will consider it.
He has been extremely responsible, but he definitely has friends who have either lost their phones or had them stolen. Or...run up such huge bills that the parents had to take them away.
As another mom mentioned, hard and fast rules about use ahead of time is the only way to go. And, turn the phone OFF when the child is home. Be diligent about who the number is given to. My son has forgotten to turn his phone off a couple of times and it's rang at 2 or 3 in the morning. His dad and I were NOT pleased! We're in bed and other kids are playing pranks.....not funny. He always remembers to turn it off at home because his dad threatened to pitch it out the window one night. Or, morning, I should say.
I think it's best to hold off if you can. Kids aren't allowed to have their phones on at school so they need to know how to be able to check messages without getting their phones taken away anyhow.

Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter got hers at 8. It was cheaper than each of our households having a land line. She is now 9 and uses it rarely, always to call either mom or dad. It stays in her school backpack.

1 mom found this helpful

I think that it depends on when they are going to be places without you. If they are socially active, or on a team, or in a show where they might need to reach you, then definitely they should have one. And if they are getting one, they HAVE to have rules! My son got one at 12. It is also a means of communicating with each other these days, and socially desireable. So, that is a judgement call too. You dont necessarily want your child to be able to communicate freely ALL the time, but on the other hand, you want them to be able to communicate. It is a tricky one.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it really depends on the child, the family, and the situation. Honestly I think later you can hold off then the better, but somewhere around their freshman year of HS was what our initial feelings on the subject were.

But that changed this year when my daughter started middle school (6th grade-11yo) that was not within walking distance. Secondly she carpools home with a neighbor family- brother and sister (the girls are friends thankfully). We ended up getting her a cell phone because of that. My daughter has been responsible to let me know when someone calls that she doesn't recognize the phone number of and doesn't answer it. Anyone that she knows is already programmed into her phone so if someone doesn't show up on her caller ID she doesn't answer. She abides to her school's rules of cell phones on campus (only once had it taken from her at school because she had an unidentified caller call her and she didn't have it turned off like normal and the ring "disturbed" the class). She keeps it clean, charged and obeys our other rules about not wasting the minutes on phone calls to friends that she can make from our landliine at home,ect.

All that said though... I know a friend's 15yo son who can't remember to keep his phone charged, doesn't remember where he's left it half the time (its been found at friend's houses, others' cars, in his locker at school, ect) so really there... what's the point in him having the phone since he's sooo irresponsible in keeping it? It really depends.

1 mom found this helpful

definitely depends on the family situation.
My step-daughter got one this past year at 12 years of age because she is very involved with field hockey in school and a league out of school - and she lives with her mother an hour away from us.
Plus her mother works 2nd shift so isn't home when the kids (4 girls, ages 6-14) get home from school or when they go to bed, and then is sleeping in the morning when they're getting up and ready. So my stepdaughter and her 14 year old sister needed phones just to be able to reach someone in an emergency when their mom isn't there. Plus it was virtually impossible for us to get ahold of my stepdaughter before the cell phone.
So for our situation it has been very helpful. If she has to stay after school she can call or text us about it the night before or if there is a change in the schedule of field hockey she can tell us all about it right away. I also love getting random texts from her saying she misses me or to wish me a good day at work & to be able to send her random texts too :) it was hard for us before, going 2 weeks at a time not hearing from her!

But for kids who are always with at least one parent (or family member or babysitter) except for at school where there is a phone in the office, i don't see any reason to get one.

*Also to add, they have a policy that she has to keep the phone in her locker at school.... and she has to turn off the phone and plug it in downstairs at bedtime. And it has to stay on the counter in the kitchen at mealtimes too.

1 mom found this helpful

When they can pay the bill.

My mother told us girls if were were somewhere without a phone, we didn't need to be there.

call me old fashion...but my thought is when they can afford it themselves whether they pay for it with their allowance or get a job....its a descresionary cost..if you are ok with footing the bill..more power to you.

I agree with another Mom on here - when they can pay the bill. I made the mistake of giving one to my 11 yr old - and it just sits in his room 'racking up charges' (meaning I have to pay for it monthly even when its not being used). I gave one to my 17 yr old - only to have him rack up text messaging charges - and he's had it taken away from him at school.

So I say - when they can pay the bill they can have their own phone.

My older daughter got a prepaid phone just before her 7th birthday, for the simple reason that I was 9 month pregnant with #2, hubby was deployed in Iraq and if I had to go to the hospital or doctors, or couldnt get a parking spot close to the school I could send her a text message or she could call me, so we could meet or for me to let her know who she was allowed to go with or where I was parked. she will be 9 this month, still has the same phone (its a kids phone, she can only call preprogrammed numbers and only those numbers can call her) she can text and even if she is out of money on it, if she tries to call it will send me a text message free of charge to call her back, which doesn't cost her any (we are in Germany)
otherwise I would not have given her a phone before she got into 5th grade.

We always said 10 - 12, but we've modified our position a little. Both kids (7 & 9) play academy soccer, so we have multiple practices a week, some overlapping. We bought an emergency cell phone for the kids. If I have to leave one at a practice while I take the other to practice they get the cell phone. They also take it on sleepovers. As my 9 yo begins to venture farther from our street with friends (1 - 2 blocks) he'll take it with him. I have no plans to get them a personal cell for a while yet but will probably add another emergency cell so they can each have one for sleepovers, visits to friend's houses, practices, etc.