Kids Always Ask for New Toys,what Should I Do?

Updated on December 14, 2010
C.Y. asks from San Jose, CA
21 answers

Moms, have you ever met this situation that kids always asked for new toys, but when bought new toys for them, they just played a few while then never played them again. I meet this problem, he has too many toys, but my 5-year old son still asks for new toys; I know I shouldn’t buy new toys for him anymore, it’s a bad habit, but how to correct it?

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Repeat after me, "No, honey, you have plenty of toys at home."
Go to his room and have him fill a box with toys in good condition to give away to needy children, also have him throw any broken toys away. That way you'll be ready for Christmas and he'll get to see all the wonderful toys he does have.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I would take some of the toys (that he has forgotten about) away and reintroduce them at a later date. I had this problem not so much because I got too many toys for my son but because other people did. It is also good to remind children that they will not always get what they want all the time.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Limit the number of new toys that you buy. It's "normal" to lose interest in new things. I suggest that you put away many of their toys and bring them out again later. Rotate their toys in and out of the "toy box." That way some will appear "new" and They'll once more be interested in them.

It is not a parent's job to provide everything a child wants. You take charge of the toys and decide what you can afford and what is beneficial for your kids. They need to learn boundaries and limits when it comes to getting new toys.

You don't give your kids ages. If they're in grade school or older talk with them about your observations. Suggest that they decide what toy(s) they know they'll stay interested in for longer and say that you will buy certain toys but not others.

Provide other interests for them if they're older. Take them to science and children's museums. Expose them to hobby type toys. If they develop a specific interest their desire for multiple toys may naturally be reduced.

My grandchildren are now 7 and 10. From the time they were little I've bought toys for them from thrift stores. Because they cost so much less than new toys I don't feel bad when they quickly abandon them. I just donate them back to the store. Perhaps you can teach your kids to accept second hand toys in good condition.

I suggest that you also encourage them to donate toys in which they're no longer interested. I do keep some toys for several months because they frequently become interested once again.

Later: Liz is right on. Sharing the fantasy of having the toy makes not getting it easier. As she said, your child knows you've heard him and sympathizes with his wanting it.

After reading about a Christmas and Birthday list, reminded me that I also do that. With my 7yo grandson he immediately started asking to put toys on his birthday list the next week after his birthday. He didn't mind that he didn't get the toy. He did remind me periodically that it should be on his birthday list but didn't beg to buy it now. There are some toys he still begs for but sharing his interest in the toy and saying I'm putting it on your Christmas list now, allows us to leave the toy section. For the last couple of months we've been going to the toy section to just look and for the most part that has helped because of our making a Christmas list.

7 moms found this helpful
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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

My answer is a little different than the common response. Instead of saying a straight out No, I indulge in his fantasy wishes, but still don't do it. Something like "I wish I could buy you that too!" or "Oh wouldn't that be fun!" or "ooh! that's a really cool toy. Let's put it on your list."

That way, you are letting him know you hear him and understand where he is coming from, however you still aren't buying toys.

Also, you could give him a small allowance and he can decide to spend or save it. He can also see that it takes awhile to save for a nicer toy. This will give him some practice in handling money and making decisions. Also it takes the responsibility off of you because the money now decides when there's enough to purchase a new toy.

Also, he can decide to resell some of his toys he doesn't use. It's also good to non-judgmentally evaluate the toys and why they aren't being played with so that eventually he can take the same reasons and apply them to buying new toys.

4 moms found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from Austin on

There is a very simple solution: Say NO.

Lisa

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W.H.

answers from Modesto on

Rotate! Put away most of the toys, leave some in his room to play with. When he gets bored & wants something different, pick a toy he has and put it away, trading with another he hasn't played with in a while from your closet or shelf, wherever you're storing his toys.
This accomplishes 2 things - 1, he's getting something 'new' again on a regular basis without you buying something all the time.
2- it reduces the toy clutter in the room. Most likely you'll find that he'll play better with the fewer toys he has out because the room is not so cluttered and everything's competing for his attention.

I only have a few good quality toys for my son, legos, wooden train tracks and some thomas trains, Parents' animal hospital, Fisher Price sets (ark, barn, bus and their respective figures), and gazillions of stuffed animals (I swear they multiply when we're not looking! LOL). Right now everything's in the playroom and he has a hard time cleaning up and playing with anything. (Time to rotate a few toys out!)

Another observation I've had is that when my son gets his train tracks all set up, he wants to leave it for a few days to continue playing with. He enjoys it but then doesnt play with it beyond a few days. Only when it's been cleaned up and the floor cleared does he then spend another afternoon playing.

3 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Everytime you want to buy him a new toy, put that money aside (create a "I didn't buy a toy" jar). At the end of the month, count the money and see how much you saved. Take that money and take your son to Chuck E Cheese or something equally fun for him. Or go to the bookstore where he can choose a book and you guys can get a cookie or something.

So instead of giving him things, you can give him the gift of your time.

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B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Dianna
I totally agree with Marda, couldn't put it better myself.
I have a three year old who will really chance his luck at trying to get a new toy everytime we are food shopping.
He gets the message pretty quick when I refuse. Now he might cry,complain,ask a few times, but I still refuse.
Stick to your guns, don't give in. Be firm and try to re-direct etc,
You don't want to give the message that he can get everything he wants,its not good training for real life.
Best of luck
B. k.

3 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

simple...don't buy him toys. My kids only get new toys at birthdays and christmas and its more then enough I can't imagine if we bought them toys during the year too. If my oldest wants something he has to pick up some extra chores around the house to earn some money for it.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

LOL! I think most parents go thru this. How to correct it: just say no and stop buying new toys :)

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

.

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S.

answers from Chicago on

My kids often want new toys, but we add them to our "Christmas list" or "birthday list". I remind them that they'll have to wait & see if they come on those days.

We also constantly donate toys to Goodwill or other charities. Sometimes we even pass down a toy we really like to a younger friend. Then, we go to their house, my kids see their old favorite again.

This may seem a little silly, but I have also taught my kids "how" to play with toys. For example, we have a bunch of Little People things, so I showed them one day how to set up a village & have the village "work". Now, my kids do this on their own. I've also done this w/ pretend food, having a restaurant, dollies, Legos, etc. I find that helped get my kids going. Now, my kids can play for hours.

One other suggestion, I do not buy every "new, greatest" toy... because most of them lack the opportunity for a child to really PLAY with them. They tend to be something that just sits there.

Besides that, grin & move on when your son whines, he'll learn soon enough.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

My almost 3 yr old daughter does that. I have just started telling her no, and if she starts getting loud I tell her that if she does not behave, not only will she not be getting a new one, but I will take one away when we get home. That usually does the trick...

It may take awhile because he will need to learn that you mean it... the most important part is to make sure you follow through.

With the toys he no longer plays with - Marda has it right... rotate them - everything old is new again :)

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Tell him no and remind him of the last toy he so quickly discarded. In this way teach him to value what he has rather than covet what he thinks he lacks....I really like Marda's suggestion too.

2 moms found this helpful

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

let him know he's not getting a new toy. let him know that if he misbehaves in the store he doesn't get to go shopping anymore (and follow through). tell him presents are for birthdays and christmas. and be prepared for a spoiled brat tantrum. deal with it, stick to your guns, and stop buying him toys.

we have gone through a couple times in the last few weeks to "make room" for all the toys that will be coming with christmas. i told my son that santa can't bring more toys if there's no room. we now have several garbage bags full in the garage for a yard sale.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Before you go shopping tell him you are not shopping for toys.
Avoid walking down that aisle if you can.
Try to have them watch DVD's instead of live tv (if not all the time then at least from Thanksgiving through New Year's).
When kids don't see the constant commercials pushing what ever the latest toy craze is, the begging for the toys drops way off.

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R.K.

answers from San Francisco on

most new toys are a waste of money and are covered in harmful chemicals. the only toys i buy my 3.5 year old daughter are at the thrift store when i'm there shopping for myself. she can get a stuffed animal or a book for less than $3 if she behaves well. i've also started telling her that she has to choose one from her room to give away if she wants another one. other than that, i tell her it's not your birthday, i'm not buying you a gift, and we're not here shopping for you. if she's being cooperative and doesn't ask for stuff over and over i'll get her a juice or something or let her watch a show when we get home.
good luck!

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E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

Stop buying him new toys. The ONLY times our kids EVER get any new toys are for Christmas and their birthdays. Never any other time throughout the year. It teaches them appreciation and saves us a TON of money.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I think Liz A. gave a great answer. It is what we do with our son and it works beautifully. The only thing I can add is that there are some times where he spots a toy that Dad and I agree is worth the money (something that will promote creativity, learning, social interaction, teamwork, sportsmanship, or other admirable qualities, and not just a fad that he will only play with once) one of us will go back and buy the toy when my son is not there. We will then take the toy and hide it until the next special occassion, birthday, Christmas, or Easter, and give it to him then. (Yes, we put small toys instead of candy in the easter baskets). I think it shows my son that we care about and remember what his likes and dislikes are, and that we paid attention when he told us how he felt about them. I think it makes him feel important that we remembered, etc. Works for us. Good luck!

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Establish times when you will buy new toys for him. I suggest Christmas, birthday and perhaps a couple of other times during the year. When he asks for the new toy, let him know that you'll put it on a list to consider, but don't buy it immediately. Children benefit from learning what is called delayed gratification. This also will give you a better chance to decide whether the particular toy he's asking for is something that he'll have a long lasting desire to have. Sometimes if another child with whom he visits and plays has that particular toy, that will satisfy his need for the toy. Other toys may be important enough to him that he will benefit by having his own.
Also decide what kinds of toys you are comfortable with him having. Think about what he may learn from playing with a particular toy. Think about his personality and how appropriate each toy is in helping him develop that personality, as well as his character. I know. Toys are to have fun with, but as a child is having fun he is also often learning life skills, so make the best choices you can with that in mind.
Finally, and I'm not sure from your post if this is a problem, avoid being in a store and giving in to a request for a new toy at that moment. Always answer that you'll think about that toy and decide. Using the special occasion method will help you do that. The same is true for other items, candy or other special treats, though you may want to make the deciding time shorter for that. For instance, if the child asks to put money in one of the toy or candy machines that are at the front of so many stores, you might want to, as you enter the store, set up some behavior expectations that will determine if you are going to give in to that request when leaving the store. Be sure you express the expectations and 'rewards' clearly to your child and remind him as necessary. A couple of times of losing a treat due to mis-behavior may make shopping trips much easier in the future.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

This is actually a very easy one - QUIT BUYING THE TOYS! Most kids want everything they see - that's normal. It's up to us as adults to teach them that they can't have everything they want. They need to learn to accept disappointment. If he has that many toys, take half (or more) of them and put them away for a few weeks to a month. Then, get those toys back out and put the others away for a while. That way he won't get bored with his toys and his more likely to play with more of them.

1 mom found this helpful
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