Kid's Club House

Updated on September 15, 2008
C.B. asks from Midland Park, NJ
26 answers

Has anyone ever gone to Kid'd Club House in Midland Park? Just wondering if it is a good place for my 2 year old and I to attend a class?

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L.W.

answers from New York on

C. , I think once you become a mother you automatically begin to worry over the "what if's" in life. Try not to focus on what could be and enjoy what is. My mom passed when i was only 10 so I fully understand what you are going through, especially after I had my kids....but I live everyday to the best of my ability and try to be the best mom I know how to be so in the event that g-d forbid something does happen, my children will have the type of memories I carry of my mom.....enjoy every day and don't worry about what "might" happen.

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S.H.

answers from Albany on

You can deal with this problem by using EFT which stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. I would suggest working with a practitioner (you'll likely only need one session) or do it yourself. Learn how at www.emofree.com. There's thousands of pages of experiences. It might sound and look silly but it really works!

Your anxiety seems to be directed at one problem so it should be easy. More generalized anxiety and panic can be caused by a lack of amino acids or other nutrients in the brain.

S. Hoehner
www.sharethecause.com/detoxqueen

1 mom found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

Oh man, do I feel for you! When my little boy was born (nearly four years ago) I started suffering from daily panic attacks which made it almost impossible for me to eat (good for the waistline, but not much else!) or leave the house. I had obsessive thoughts about my child, husband, or ME getting run over by a car or getting cancer, or being attacked....

I got myself to a psychiatrist straight away. There is a family history of anxiety disorders and I knew that I needed professional intervention.

Here's what ultimately helped: taking a mild antidepressant which works on anxiety, exercising routinely, talk therapy with someone good, and recently - neurofeedback. It's been so wonderful and calming! You can read about it at zengar.com if you're interested.

At any rate...no, you are NOT the only one. It is a terrible affliction, but one that is treatable. Please seek help so that you can live your life freely and unburdened by all of those horrible thoughts.

I wish you the very best,
T.

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J.R.

answers from New York on

I am exactly the same. I am so worried about everything, and the things that scare me are so far-fetched and out of the ordinary that I sometimes don't know where the thoughts come from. I also am a bit of a hypochondriac and I constantly go to the doctor. For the most part, I am in good health so I should just get over it but i don't, always find something else. I recently went to a naturopathic doctor and she ended up doing accupuncture. Trust me, I am not one to "believe" in this stuff but it really helped. They said that motherhood makes you worry more because you have more to worry about. We mothers take on the world I guess. Anyhow, I am still anxious and crazy sometimes but I control it better than I used to. I think i am having a slight panic attack just thinking about :) The naturopathic doctor gave me supplementd to take. I tried them but I think they made me worse but still feel free to email me and we could talk more. No worries, you aren't alone.

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S.W.

answers from Buffalo on

I think it is a normal thing to go thru.. Once I became a mother all I did was worry about my health, my husbands and my childrens health. What if they got sick, or hurt, or what if they even died?? These thoughts come and go from time to time and I believe it is just the reality of knowing we ultimately have no control over such issues, and have a deep love for our family. So far I've found no way to break the cycle so to speak. Just try to remember that right now everything/everyone is ok and to enjoy the moment in the "now" and keep positive. When these thougts pop up in my mind, I try to flip it into a positive thought, anything else but negative..

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J.D.

answers from New York on

C.,
No, you're definitely not alone. Have you had someone close to you die young? I believe that I feel that way because my mother died when I was 24 and I am so worried that I will die early and not be there for my daughter throughout her life. It has gotten MUCH better and may I suggest that you focus on the moment instead of the what if. If you're worried, it is taking away from your son, so in essence what you're worried about MAYBE happening you are putting the feelings of it into affect now. Realize that you are healthy now and that if God forbid something ever happens then you will deal with it then. I still get panicky, but I stop and try to realize that things are OK. I have actually started to say to myself "not happening (now)" and it has actually helped me in that moment. Best of luck,
J.

M.H.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

O My God, I thought I was the only one out there with this problem. I have a 1 years Boy David and A 6 year old girl Madison. I work full-time and feel really bad for having to and wish I could spend all my time with them but I can't. :(

I have nightmares about it. What will happen to my children if I get sick or an disease. I love them so much. I will give and have given my life to them. No one is going to take care of them like I DO. Not there father, no one. I have no parent they have passed on when I was 18 I have been on my own a very long time. One sister to speak of who really don't care for children not even her own son.

I make birthdays and holidays and a most events as special as I can because you never know if thats it. My finance there father thinks I am nuts. He does not think anything is worth fussing over, if its not all about him. I am so worry that because he is a very selfish person, my kids will miss out on a lot of things like sports, trips, family gatherings, birthdays. He only wants to give them a cupcake for there birthdays and call it a day. NO! Life is to short to make it seem like its another day. Thank Goodness we have another day. So to answer your question :) I think your not alone in this. God Bless All Our Children. :)

G.G.

answers from New York on

Hi C., I know what you are going through and it's such a horrible feeling. What I think brought mine on was my husband having 3 back operation one being very serious and thinking ok he's down and out I have to stay strong but then it kicked in...everything is in my hands now but what if something happened to me??? So Axiety kicked in. I have no magic answer other then keeping your self busy. Keep focused that you are all healthy your blessed with a little son if it get's that bad call your doctor it's such a common thing these day's and they can help you the best thing is to talk about it and not hold it in. As a mom we have alot on our mind at all time's and we alway's question everything we do and want to be the best at everything we do and of course alway's worry about our kids and always want to be there for them. I hope I was able to help you hang in there. Keep your head up high and stay positive. XOXOX

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C.F.

answers from New York on

my husband used to be like that. he started taking Zoloft and is much better.. i woud call your doctor and schedule an appointment to talk (your primary care dr.). I think you need medication and possibly a therapist. I hope everything works out for you!

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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

You are not alone. My youngest is 2 years old and I still get freaked out that something might happen. Then again..I was praying for my 19 year old last night cause he didn't call me on his break and he works with machinery and I thought he might get hurt or loose a limb.

It's normal for moms to be "overprotective" of their children. It's not a bad thing that we worry. What is a bad thing is when our worries stop our children from living a normal happy life...and stop us from living too.

How I break the panic cycle is to pray for their protection and put their lives in God's hands. Worrying tells God you don't trust Him. Even when bad things happen, God has a plan to turn it all into good. It's hard to see that sometimes when you are in the middle of the storm. Just remember, God sends a rainbow when it's over.

Nanc

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R.L.

answers from New York on

Hey C.,
I think it might be time to go see your doc, if you're having anxiety like that. It's not good for you or your boy. I hope you feel better soon!

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A.A.

answers from New York on

Hi C., It sounds like you are suffering from an anxiety disorder, which is very common, and with work, very treatable. You've gotten some really good suggestions here, but I thought I'd throw in some of my own. I teach Stress Management and Anxiety Reduction, so I have a few thoughts that might be useful to you to help keep things more manageable. Anxiety responds well to CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), medication (specifically SSRI antidepressant medication), psychotherapy and biofeedback. But, there are a number of self help strategies you can try to improve your sense of control and to reduce your anxiety over time. I have no idea as to your financial status, insurance plans or the time you have available, so it is hard to make specific recommendations, however, there are several books you could read, which are available either through Amazon or at the library, which might be helpful to you and give you a head start. Two excellent books about CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) are Feeling Good, by David Burns and a book about Resilience by Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte. There is also a great workbook called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne from New Harbinger Publications that is really helpful. Another useful book is The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook by Davis, Eshelman and McKay, alsoo from New Harbinger. They have some good books. The thing about anxiety is that if you are going to reduce the anxiety in your life, you have to make certain changes in your life which means you have to develop a plan and you have to stick to it consistently or else things will not change. It takes a lot of work and determination, but you certainly can turn things around and get better control of how you feel. Things that are commonly recommended for anxiety and which will work, not immediately, but over time, are yoga, tai chi, meditation, regular exercise, journalling, deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation exercises, visualization and hypnosis, for starters. There is also a wonderful computer game which teaches biofeedback relaxation exercises called The Wild Divine, available online, but it costs something in the neighborhood of $300, I believe, and while it is a fabulous resource you need to be able to afford it and to be okay with their sort of new-agey approach. They have a website that gives you the opportunity to see what it is like. If the feelings interfere with your life, there is always individual psychotherapy, which can be incredibly helpful. I know how disruptive and uncomfortable anxiety can be, and I hope you are able to get it under control very soon. I wish you well. Best, A.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi C., I was trying to respond to your post about anxiety and kids club came up. I feel it is normal to worry about getting sick and not being there for your little one but to stress yourself out will not help your health any. If you don't have any symptoms you are healthy. Do your best to eat healthy, exercise and care for your baby. You may need some professional help if you cannot move past this worry. I will pray for your situation. Grandma Mary

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L.P.

answers from New York on

Hi C..

I worry a lot about stuff like that. I try not to...my husband always tells me that we cannot live our life in fear. I lost my Mom to cancer when I was 13. My brothers were 15 and 9. Obviously it was hard for me and my older brother, but I really saw how my younger brother struggled. It breaks my heart even now almost 20 years later to remember him at her wake. Those kinds of things never leave you and when you have kids those worries just multiply!!
Even though I have anxiety about it now and then I try to give all those fears to God. I just pray and ask him to take them away and fill me with His peace. Philippians 4:6 says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Hope that helps you as it does me. :)

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K.K.

answers from Glens Falls on

I had a similar problem with anxiety when my daughter was about 2 years old. It wasn't really a specific anxiety about getting sick, more of a general anxiety which turned into panic attacks. The doctor prescribed zoloft which did help a bit. Reading a lot on anxiety issues also helped. Being a mom can be stressful especially if you have other things in your life going on. For me I believe I was a little depressed with other situations in my life. You have to make yourself happy so you can be the best mom you can be. My newest motto - "Life is good; it could always be worse". All is good now and I wish you the best!

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M.G.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

Be careful what you think! You will attract the very thinking you fear! Stop it!!
I know this is easier said than done or you would have done it, Right? Well i do know of a technique that is on the internet FREE to help with this and you can find a great practitioner as well for the first time and they will help you with the technique and set you up to practice it by yourself! Which means if you can't figure out how to do it on your self-pay the one time visit and get the technique of EFT now! Ask Sharon below who she would recommend to you. They are all good. My daughter got rid of her smoking,alcohol and drug addictions in ONE VISIT!! This will help you too. God Bless and go for it!
M.

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S.H.

answers from New York on

i do suffer from anxiety sometimes, when i feel really happy and look ahead, i get this am i going to be alive next year to enjoy it all? am i going to be ok? are my loved ones are going to be here and fine as well?

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B.A.

answers from New York on

I worry a lot more about EVERYTHING now that I have become a Mom. Both of my sisters said that the same thing happened to them. I think that increased worries are very normal once you become a parent, but the degree of worry can vary. If it is interfering with your quality of sleep or your enjoyment of life or your health, then I think that it would be wise to get some help.

My worrying was so bad about a year ago that I would wake up in the middle of the night an not be able to get back to sleep. The lack of sleep was affecting my mood and health. I had stomach pain and headaches. Unfortunately I could not afford to see a therapist so I have been reading everything that I can about stopping obsessive thoughts. I have read a lot of Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer and they have helped me. Mind you, my thought are not so bad that I cannot stop them on my own with some meditation and self talk. If you have real obsessive compulsive thoughts you should see a Doctor because medication along with therapy can really help.

You will need to find solutions that work for you and your specific patterns of thought, but trying to keep my mind in the present moment helps me a lot. If you are worrying about getting an illness or disease then you are living in the future. (A future that will likely never happen). By living in the future it is keeping you from enjoying the reality of your life right now.

If you have diseases or other health issues that run in your family then you should get regular screening for those things. Also get a regular check up every year from a Dr. that you really trust, eat as healthfully as you can, exercise as best you can and then try to relax and enjoy your beautiful family and count all the blessings in your life. I know that it is easier said than done if you are a worrier, but worry really is a pointless activity. Even if the worst happens, you will still be the same loving wife and mother who has so much to offer her family. You will find a way to deal with whatever life throws at you and it will likely expand your life in ways you wouldn't imagine.

I hope some of these words help you.
I wish you all the best,
B.

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi C.
In the mental health profession they say, if you think you are crazy you probably aren't because if you truly are you don't know it and therefore don't ask. OK. Does that mean there is nothing wrong? Maybe, maybe not. The words you use indicate that perhaps you should see the MD and make sure you have not been dealing with some depression, postpardem or otherwise.
I took St. John's Wart, an herb, for depression and wish I had taken it after our second was born. I know of people who take KAVA KAVA, also an herb which works better for them. Both are for depression. I took it under MD advice, no with her permission when I really didn't want to go on drugs. She brought me back into office about a month later to see how I thought I was doing etc. MD was pleased it worked and has since told people to try it and see, some it works some not. It worked marvelously for me even when I was in a very very difficult place. Alot of prayer by Godly people and the mercy of the Lord keeps me from needing drugs.
See the MD and see what they can do to help.
Your question indicates you need help. Lots of people go through troubled times and it does not mean it will last forever. The sooner you get help when you need it the faster the chemicals in the brain straighten out.
Then there are books out there, tapes etc. I like Joyce Meyers. She has a great book about overcoming. First check medical ok
God bless you and all you do
God bless your lovely children and their mom who loves them enough to want what is best for them.
Since I am old enough to be your mom, I always say talk to your mom, she may have stories to tell too. You might be surprised at what she has been through. Mom-in-laws have stories too.
K. SAHM married 38 years 4 men 37,& 32(they made us grandparents this summer) and twin girls 18. In college. Yup empty nest

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D.C.

answers from Albany on

Dear C.,
Is there any real reason that you are thinking like that? Is anyone sick in your family? We can't live our life like that, you will attract sickness. You might want to get some self help books to read to help you have positive thoughts. One of the authors that I was told to read is: Shad Helmstetter, "What to say when you talk to yourself." It is great. Look on line and get it used, it is cheap. It will help you turn around your thinking pattern!!

Also, keep thinking of your little boy and how much you want to be around to see him grow up and to enjoy your grandchildren...

Another thing is to take positive action to keep yourself healthy.
I watch what I eat and how much of it, exercise 3-4 x a week, drink lots of water, try to get enough sleep and I take an extra food supplement.
The one that I am on now is wonderful and it IS AN Energizing and Healing tonic that WILL KEEP YOU HEALTHY FOR LONGER.
Check out: www.gotvia.com/now and www.viabenefits.com to see for yourself.
I hope this helps.
All the best.
D.

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L.A.

answers from New York on

Hi C.. I have the exact same feelings and anxiety. When I tell my husband about it he gets upset and asks why do I always think the worst. I think mine has been getting worse since my cousin who is 24 just had brain surgery to remove a tumor which was cancerous.
There are times when I don't think about this and then other times I think about it a lot. I think we need to focus on our children and family rather than think about the worst happening to us.

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L.D.

answers from New York on

Hi C.

I think in some regards this is "normal" in that you now have this beautiful child and you worry what would happen if you were not here. However, with that being said if this worry becomes an obsession you may want to talk to someone to see what is behind the worry. Lots of "stuff" from childhood comes up once you beccome a parent- so if there was any trauma or fears when you were little they may be surfacing now for healing...
I too had this worry and got better from energy work, EFT and TAT. No products, no meds just a release of old trauma and belief in yourself. In fact, I started a business to help others with these problems! I wanted to help others because I knew what it felt like...

L. Dickenson
www.findthehealerwithin.com

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B.H.

answers from New York on

you are definitely not alone! i will not really get into it just now, but my anxiety hit a peak when my son was 1 3/4 y.o. (last fall), and my brain tends towards illness and "normal" as my point of focus as well. i am still working on it and am currently seeing an excellent therapist, and it is really helping- plus the understanding of my family. oh yeah- and getting better sleep;) if you want to be in touch more, feel free to contact me personally. best to you.

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M.R.

answers from New York on

You need to reframe your thinking. You cannot control certain aspects of your life (ie getting a serious illness). Do not try to. Instead focus on your reaction to the feeling. You are currently healthy, happy and have a wonderful family. Enjoy it. If tragedy happens, you will be able to handle it. The chances are slim. Do not dwell on things that haven't happened, and likely won't.

If you are not able to shut out the feelings of doom and gloom...seek professional help. Anxiety can be crippling:(

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M.P.

answers from New York on

Do you pray? If you did, these negativities would not enter your mind, and if they did you could immediately bind them in the name of Jesus. Most people think and have anixety about negative things, but those who believe in God knows that God will erase/cure any matter of diease, with faith and trust. When you think harmful thoughts, than harmful things happen; because you leave yourself vunerable. Have a little faith in God and when you feel this way, READ YOUR BIBLE and see how fast God erase those things from your mind.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

I had an episode of that a year and a half ago. It was hard, I kinda had like a mini-nervous breakdown. My mother had given me this book. Something like How to Overcome Nerves. That wasn't the title but it was something along those lines. That really helped. I also sought professional help and my PCP started me on an anti-depressant. It was tough for a while but I got thru it. Haven't been on meds for over a year. It's hard but your best bet would be to see someone about it. Do not let it consume you because it will get you nowhere. Good luck!

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