June 13, 2011,
M.N. asks from Alexandria, VA on May 20, 2010
Kicked Out of Daycare - 2 Years Old
Hello - I am a full time working mom with 2 beautiful children. My daughter is 4 and my son is 2. Today when I went to pick up the kids from daycare, the director of the school told me that could no longer manage my son. He is running out of the classroom any time the door is opened. Sometimes, he runs into his sisters class and the other times, he just runs down the hall. Her point being is if the teachers have to chase him, then the other students are not getting attention during this time. In addition, he is grabbing food off of the other students plate during lunch. The director thought they he may not be ready for a school daycare, and return to home daycare where he will have more one on one. I knew that he was having issues running out of the class, but i thought he was getting better. To make things even better. i am having back surgery Tuesday and will be out of work for at least a few weeks.
So What Happened?™
Hello again, sorry for the delay in updating everyone. First of all, thank you all so much for your great advise. I moved both my son and daughter into a new school and they are both doing wonderful. So far, there have been no complaints whatsoever about my son. He has just transitioned into the 3 year old class because he is doing so well and they want him to continue to grow. In addition, I had my son "evaluated" per the previous schools suggestion. He is fine. She said that he is just big for his age and the previous school was judging him based on size not on his age. Thanks Again, M.
D.M. answers from Norfolk on May 21, 2010
Wow. Two is still such a baby! People conveniently forget how young children really are. This does not seem like out of the way behavior for a two year old or a child even older, for that matter. If it were possible, one on one attention from you, his mom, would most likely be the ultimate solution.
If you cannot stay at home with him, have you tried a Montessori school?
J.M. answers from State College on May 20, 2010
i had the same problem when my son was 2. he wouldn't sit durring preschool or eating times wouldnt lay down for nap and this was in a home based setting. she told me to put him in a center as they are better equiped to deal w this. i would look into other center based child care and explain the situation you may find one that has delt w this before and knows what to do. in the mean time would his other childcare be willing to take him back untill you find somewhere better? friends or family?
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C.W. answers from Washington DC on May 21, 2010
I think you need a new daycare. Children can start at daycare at 6 weeks, so I really don't understand the "not ready for daycare" concept. My son used to grab food off of other's plates during lunch too when he was a 2 yo. He was very sneaky and could do it when no one was looking. All the kids in his class did. The teachers had to constantly remind them not to do it. Maybe the teacher should close the door. He probably wants to visit his sister. If they incomporate some time into the day where he can visit if he is good, it may encourage him to stay put.
S.T. answers from Washington DC on May 21, 2010
i'm sympathetic to their issues (it's really difficult for a teacher to ride herd on the lot when one keeps galloping off) but really, this is pretty typical two-year-old behavior. toddlers are not little clones. i'm so sorry you have to deal with this with your surgery so close. do you have a montessori school near you? it sounds as if your little wild thing needs to let his spirit roam free, and they will be much more tolerant and nurturing of that.
M.J. answers from Sacramento on May 20, 2010
Our son was kicked out of daycare/preschool when he was three for his symptoms of ADHD (now diagnosed). I know the panic mode in trying to find another place that can manage your child and ASAP. We had better luck with a home-based daycare. We found a very experienced provider who'd seen it all and was willing to work with us while we tried to help our son overcome his challenges.
Most centers have very little tolerance for anything out of the norm. I would definitely consider a home-based program for now and when he seems ready, you can attempt more of a school type program again.
K.L. answers from Washington DC on May 21, 2010
I know what's done is done, but what I don't understand is WHY DO THEY HAVE A DOOR THAT A TWO-YEAR-OLD CAN OPEN? Or are they leaving the door open? This seems like their negligence is causing the problem that they could easily remedy. I'm sure your son is not the first little kid who likes to run out of the classroom.
A.P. answers from Boston on May 20, 2010
My daughter went to daycare at 13 months old, and she loved to bolt down the hallway every chance she got. I knew this just from dropping her off when she would run the other way down the hall, or back out once we were in the room. But they never complained, I think a lot of kids do that. He is definitely not too young, its a daycare isn't it?? Its not school... find a new place and tell them they should get some door handles that little kids can't open, problem solved. And if he keeps taking other kids food, put him at a separate table until he learns. They're obviously not experienced in childcare.
C.M. answers from Austin on May 20, 2010
Well, the first thing to do is find a daytime babysitter. Then see if your husband can take the time off to watch your child.
Unless we are not being given a lot of information here, then the punishment does not seem to fit the crime. I have never been in a daycare where they were not able to deal with this sort of "non-event". You should be looking for a new daycare for both of your children tomorrow.
D.B. answers from Charlotte on May 20, 2010
Is your son relatively new at being in this daycare? Was he used to being taken care of at home before? If he has been there since an infant, it is surprising that his behavior has morphed into this.
If he is new at this center, I think perhaps a smaller daycare might be in your best interests. If it's a smaller place, running around won't be such a big deal as to cause the teachers too much trouble. They just call to each other about getting him back into the room. Also, a different center may be better at having enough activities to hold his interest so that he doesn't feel he needs to run out of the room.
If your son is grabbing food, he might have trouble waiting to eat. Perhaps the teacher can get some food to him a little quicker to head that off.
I'm so sorry that they hit you with this right before your surgery. Will they not give you a chance to find another place before he has to leave?
Best of luck, especially with the surgery,